Finally had an Aneros Toy Super-O.

Posted by: @helghast

My hips were bucking slightly,involuntarily,keeping me in a loop,every time it would settle down,a bucked hip thrust would start things over.

Posted by: @helghast

If it weren’t for the power of the orgasm,it would have put me off. Maybe it’s just something I need to get used to. I don’t know if it feels like that to any other men.

I'm familiar with both "events". I also remember @divine_o saying that if the setting was different, some of the feelings would be more uncomfortable than pleasurable, and the Super-O even more so. I agree with this, surely it's a question of context and some men will experience this more strongly than others. Don't want to misquote him so I hope he chimes in... 

Be right back, need to run to the nail salon, for, erm, reasons... 

Oh and congrats, now it's up to you to mix both methods (Aneros or not) and see which gets you higher. 

@zentai

Thanks man. I just don’t get DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) after A-Less. That’s sort thing,next day after a heavy gym day maybe.

And that kinda of drumming on,just wasn’t sure it was what I’d describe as pleasure,more annoying.

Yea lol you get yourself a nice manicure,tell them I sent you lolol. Nails put nipples to shame that’s for sure 😉 Just along our little sew line is electric!

After learning A-Lessly and then purchasing a toy, I found the pressure and general manipulations to my prostate very intense from the massager. Like you, despite the orgasms I was having there was that irritating feeling. I have found though, that as time has passed and my body has gotten used to the toy, the feelings are now unbelievably pleasurable. I do sometimes  find the stimulation and resulting orgasms so relentless I have to remove the toy just to catch my breath. Soon as I replace it though, I am off to the races again.

@rickr 

Yes,hopefully it’s just something to get used to. I just didn’t enjoy certain bits. Even the super-t,it felt it was just dug in deep. 

Congrats, man!

Fingernails are definitely a real treat.  My gal drives me wild with her longish nails and creative movements, all over my body.  Light grating, scratching, tapping, pinching, digging in...  

Yes, @zentai, I definitely said something along those lines.  

I don't know how my experience relates to yours, @helghast, but I can say that the combination of the toy and a partner for me creates a fair amount of discomfort in addition to the extreme pleasure and orgasms.  I think it is because of the length of time I have very strong erections with my partner (for 1+ hours straight, with few breaks) compared to when I am alone (I can have an hour long solo session, chock full of orgasms, without getting erect).  I think that strong erections alter the interior anatomy, making the prostate protrude more, or making it more sensitive, or both.  I have no science to back this up (anyone can throw me a bone, here?), but that is what it feels like to me.  I often take my toy out after a while with my partner, because it becomes more irritating than pleasureful.  Ejaculating with my njoy wand or dildo in my ass is very uncomfortable if I don't deliberately move it (or instruct my partner to move it) so it abuts the rectal wall opposite the prostate, so as not to pound my prostate during orgasmic contractions.

I recommend spending time with your toys alone.  It is very different than with a partner.  If you are like me you will find that it is less (or not at all) irritating after extended use and multiple orgasms.

Posted by: @divine_o

I think that strong erections alter the interior anatomy, making the prostate protrude more, or making it more sensitive, or both.  I have no science to back this up (anyone can throw me a bone, here?)

A bone, or a boner? From some self administered experiments, I can say that in my case, my prostate becomes much more "defined" and firm right at the moment of ejaculation. I don't know how much of that comes from the prostate feeling the finger, or the finger feeling the prostate. In other words, I'm not certain how much of that feeling comes from a feedback loop and focus, and how much  comes from the prostate actually experiencing some changes. I do feel it "hangs lower" and becomes more accessible, but that could also be from the movement of the surrounding muscles.

Bearing down a little and contracting my abs definitively makes it protrude more, and if you do this, consciously or not, when you ejaculate, then it would make a lot of sense.  

What we need is a blind study from someone who's partner has a good feel for it, then we would know for sure how evident that change is (or isn't). Anybody up for this? 

@divine_o

I’m getting quite ‘touch’ sensitive these days,in ways I wasn’t before. Having my butt cheeks scratched sets me off around the cervical spine area. We have a little riders crop and nails for the rougher stuff,but plan to invest in some delicate toys for more teasing pleasures like nail tips. Feathers or the like I think. 

It’s was just an uncomfortable feeling at PO,that rapping/drumming on my gland. Then the super-t felt like the toy had impaled itself in the gland and just stayed there until orgasm was over.

Don’t know if this is a bone or not,but I thought the gland swelled in size, in tune with erections when we are sexually excited, but I’m not a urologist. Maybe that’s why it feels it sticks out more. A-Less or pegging definitely feel better for me when erect vs non-erect.

As for spending time alone with the toys,that won’t fly with the missus,so it’s a non-starter.

@zentai

I asked the missus about this. She reckons the gland is larger and harder when we are sexually aroused. The first time she poked around for it,she relied on me to tell her she was in the right place,she couldn’t be sure,but I wasn’t erect then,due to anxieties. Now,with erection,she can feel clearly when she’s at the right spot,and doesn’t need me to confirm. 
I agree that abdominal and other contraction definitely would displace it,as it’s soft like musculature and organs compared to bone. 

@helghast

Thanks for asking you wife!

I always thought that the prostate became engorged from arousal and that this was separate from erection, but then it's very rare that I stimulate myself manually without getting an erection before the end and it's easy to get things mixed up at that point. From what you tell me, there's a direct link, that's pretty interesting. 

A lot of times I chicken out before getting a true hands-free ejaculation from direct prostate simulation, as it gets too intense and I'll just give my penis a couple hard strokes to bring focus to it and then ejaculate in a kind of Super-T.

Zero possibility of alone time with your Aneros, ever? That's rough, she's a cold, stern mistress hehe. 

@zentai

Posted by: @zentai

A lot of times I chicken out before getting a true hands-free ejaculation from direct prostate simulation

Ya gotta do it! Although i couldn’t do much about it either way,everything just kind of spasmed and that was that,a nice unintended end to things. And yea,I think the days of calling my own tune are long gone. Not complaining though.

@helghast

Yeah it's worth it, but doing it to yourself is basically playing on hard mode. For me it's a novelty more than anything else, for the effort involved, possible soreness afterwards, needing lots of lube, needing to build enough arousal so I can over the uncomfortable part near the end...  Everyone should try and it's fun once in a while, but I'll never do this as often as my Aless and Aneros sessions.

Having someone do it to you removes the question of whether or not you'll be be able to go trough with it, I guess you just tell your partner to not stop unless you use a safe word, and then you brace yourself for the inevitable.  

Good idea, I will ask my gal, though she rarely fingers me (every two months probably) and when she does I am invariably hard as a rock, so there is no comparison.  Just thinking of it gives me the chubs...

@helghast As for your lady’s restriction on your toy play... on the one hand it is great if that is indeed what you want. The appeal of Ds lifestyle lies on deeper levels, so I understand from reading about it (I don’t partake in out of bedroom bdsm activities).  On the other hand, it’s a shame you can’t explore the toys on your own.  It is possible that you will experience outstanding highs with your toys in front of your wife, with intense orgasms. But I promise that these highs will be qualitatively different than those you might have alone. There is something about being immersed in fantasies, without another’s person’s touch to alter the course of a session, that creates different sensations, different states of mind. Also by playing alone, you learn things that are difficult to learn when you are partially distracted by your partner.

 There could be compromises possible. She could let you start alone for 30 minutes to get “primed.” Or you could film your solo sessions or make audio recordings for her to masturbate to later. Or she could give you mantras to say during sessions, to make sure your fantasies stay devoted to her. Just ideas to find a middle ground. I think you both would be happy with the results of letting you play solo with toys.

Posted by: @divine_o

But I promise that these highs will be qualitatively different than those you might have alone. There is something about being immersed in fantasies, without another’s person’s touch to alter the course of a session, that creates different sensations, different states of mind.

Jokes about stern mistresses aside, this is very true. There's a level of concentration and focusing entirely on yourself and your own pleasure that I think would be impossible to reach with any form of distraction. It's also about how much pleasure *you* are willing to give to yourself. Being forbidden to go to that place may be a bigger restriction than would appear on the surface...   

Posted by: @divine_o

 As for your lady’s restriction on your toy play... on the one hand it is great if that is indeed what you want.

You and @zentai are like a couple of moms hahahah,I’m doing ok,it is what we both want,I’m not beaten,broken and pummelled into oblivion-see that? OBLIVION!!! ;). This new way of doing things is fulfilling needs for the both of us. It’s not actually just about the sex stuff it runs deeper than that,especially for me.

Posted by: @divine_o

it’s a shame you can’t explore the toys on your own.

Well I did do my A-Less training on my own,so am unsure how much I’ll miss out. Yes,toy,partner,a-less,self are all different orgasms but we say no two are the same,so that’s to be expected. But,i will broach the subject at some point. It’s just that it was decided a while back that there was to be no sneaky sessions of any kind,or there’d be penalties.I dread to think what conditions would be attached if aneros sessions alone were allowed.

But like I said,I’ll ask at some point. Only started with the toys really,and it was a less than perfect experience. I’m wired into A-Less hard I think. A-Less is all floaty,silky and feels of nothing and something great at the same time. Not like that cricket bat of a helix beating the crap out of my poor gland ha ha.

Posted by: @zentai

It's also about how much pleasure *you* are willing to give to yourself. Being forbidden to go to that place may be a bigger restriction than would appear on the surface

Well,that’s not exactly what i signed up for. She’d tell you she can bring more pleasure than I could give myself,as she’ll derive it from desires I hid from her,and myself. Things that I like but haven’t admittedz She sees my pleasure as a responsibility. As above,it all runs a little deeper than just sex.

Posted by: @helghast

You and @zentai are like a couple of moms

If moms want nothing more than their sons to have the most extreme orgasms possible, sure, we are being moms 🙂

My friend told me about a BDSM party she worked at recently.  One man walked in, got naked in the changing room, found a dom, was instructed to kneel at her feet, didn't touch her or speak... after a couple hours he got up, said goodbye, got dressed and left.  What people do for pleasure is sometimes incomprehensible to others, but that doesn't make their pleasure any less real.  If the pleasure you get from being controlled sexually by your mistress (and missus) is better than potentially being able to discover a different type of orgasmic meditation, so be it.  I gave you my opinion, and you will do with it what you will.  However, don't think it keeps me up nights.  The only thing keeping me up nights is a toy in my ass (and nocturnal cats, occasional insomnia, summer heat, and noisy neighborhood parties...).

Oh and btw why wouldn't you want to deviate slightly, be punished a little more? That sounds like loads of fun.

@helghast

You should listen to your moms, young man!

I think that by now, everyone knows that you're enjoying your new situation fully and you're not being manipulated into it by your wife who has somehow been possessed by an evil succubus overnight. Just like my esteemed colleague (and fellow mom), I'm not really phased by what two consenting adults are doing in their bedroom, as long as both of you are having fun.

It's just that... well... you're in a pretty enviable situation with having your wife on board, which would give you access to the best of both worlds. That is, you could bring the new skills you learn in your solo sessions to your couple sessions, and I'm sure your wife would find a way to use this to give you more of what you want, and get more of what she wants. 

Posted by: @helghast

But,i will broach the subject at some point.

That's good enough for me, don't shut that door completely... 

@zentai @divine_o

No,I’m not so vain as to think anything concerning me keeps either of you up at night lol. I’ll concede I can be a little defensive of my wife when phrases like “ a bigger restriction than it appears on the surface” or “if it is indeed what you want” are put together with some of the warnings and red flags about being in an abusive relationship,and her possibly angling to cuckold me harked at in previous posts and private messages. I assume we are all friends here and I wouldn’t want anyone to think ill of my wife. She isn’t abusive or evil. Just bossier that she used to be lol.

The wife is more into the psychology of it than i am. She reminded me of a wedding we were guests at about 10 years ago. At the night reception,I was talking to some people I’d not seen for a long time. She was doing the same at the bar. A guy who I assume was only invited to the night function approached her to try to chat her up. She looked my way and noticed I was looking over with the 1000 yard stare. She let the guy linger a couple of minutes to wind me up a little before putting him out of his misery. She was warmed by my obvious jealousy and said it was nice to know I cared lol. Maybe this was an indicator that she alway had this kind of stuff inside her. Unfortunately, Helghast in his young days was the type to March over and say “who the hell is he”? Hahahaha. So, fast forward to room time,the sex was great that night she tells me,the was she was sleeping with certainly had something to prove. The guy at the bar had clearly gotten under his skin. The cuckoldry teasing of today can be traced right back to there. She says I perform better and work harder when under a little bit of pressure. She does admit to getting a kick of watching me tussle with jealousy,anger and the obvious arousal boost it gives,bringing forth dry o’s etc. quickly followed by a little embarrassment that my body gave the game away. That I can’t work out why something that bugs me becomes strangely erotic in a bedroom setting,and most importantly,that i cannot seem to admit it to her out loud outside of the bedroom.

She said she needs to be in charge for me to explore more kinkier things. She stabbed me in the heart when she said that the -taboos and tropes in western society- piece that @rumel often posts to people, was about me. She said I’m one of the those people. I denied it point blank! Hahaha Not with the straight up sex bit she says. The other bits. When we had the joint fun on the couches,it took me a while to get into it,too worried what she was thinking. She also said I’d never have asked her for pegging,that’s why she brought it in. She pointed to my struggle to admit enjoying it in the beginning. So much so,I found it hard to be erect during,which pissed her off.  Again,too worried that my standing and value in her eyes would lower. Cue Chastity and denial until I ask for it.
Some of things she has done have been to push me into doing,and enjoying things I claim not to like,or think won’t bring pleasure. But she knows better. There’s reason for everything she does. But,I’ve said before,she says my pleasure is always the end goal,and that it’s a responsibility she takes very seriously. Having said that,whilst I’ll ask about alone training,there will be a reason behind any decision to deny the request. Off the top of my head,it could be as simple as control. Or maybe she sees danger to our relationship in it. Or I guess she could grant it,but no doubt with conditions attached.

No matter what gents,I always appreciate and value any and all support,tips,tricks,advice and counsel I receive from anyone here,if anerosians can’t prop each other up,the war will be lost!!! 🙂

@helghast thanks for the backstory! Interesting to read how y’all came to this and what her role is, as well as your jealousy backstory. I wonder if I don’t care about humiliation because I don’t get jealous. Before I had dismantled my jealousy, my jealousy didn’t result in lust, rather i felt rejected. Now that I don’t feel jealousy, cuckholding seems to be a moot point. Even watching films and reading books, most love stories seem absurd now because they almost always revolve around jealousy and possession in some way.  But I can see how it can be sexualised. I myself enjoy other sorts of games, also sexualised aspects of everyday life and how I interpret it.

anyways I never questioned your wife, not here, not elsewhere. I questioned YOUR desires.  And also your wife probably isn’t aware of how potentially good it can be for both of you, for you to pursue this solo toy training. Unless she spends as much time on the forum as you, which I don’t think she does.

And yup we are all supporting each other here. If we make gaffes, its because we are searching for answers in unexpected places (like in the butt!).

@divine_o

Posted by: @divine_o

Before I had dismantled my jealousy, my jealousy didn’t result in lust, rather i felt rejected.

It’s a wonder how thinking and perspectives vary between individuals. I don’t feel rejected,rather I have a drive that activates to put my work in and get back on top lol. But she obviously knows what way I’m wired and how to channel it correctly.

And no,the forum is too slow for her and it’s all guys. She’s like most women,if a text message isn’t replied to within 0.8 seconds,she starts plotting your untimely demise ha ha.

@helghast the way I figured it, in the time i was still capable of being jealous, when a guy hit on my girlfriend there was no threat to me. If she hit on someone else, then I could be jealous, but that was rare.

The biggest change came when a woman I loved deeply left me for someone else. I realized I had no hatred for their love. I was even happy that she was happy. What made me upset (or horribly depressed for 6 months) was that she didn’t love me anymore. I mourned the death of our mutual connection. We had also, during our relationship which was long distance at times, experimented with opening up to others during our physical distance. That didn’t bother me either. So I was just a book-read away (the ethical slut) from accepting open relationships.

your jealousy has fueled your kink and given you a reason to be on your A game with your wife. My non-jealousy has led to less worrying in relationships. Sounds like both of us, with a little extra reflection, found ways to take advantage of our situations!

@divine_o

Posted by: @divine_o

when a guy hit on my girlfriend there was no threat to me. If she hit on someone else, then I could be jealous, but that was rare.

Same mostly,while I can get a little jealous,I’ve never feared or worried about my wife’s fidelity. She doesn’t hit on guys as far as I know lol.

Posted by: @divine_o

The biggest change came when a woman I loved deeply left me for someone else. I realized I had no hatred for their love. I was even happy that she was happy. What made me upset (or horribly depressed for 6 months) was that she didn’t love me anymore. I mourned the death of our mutual connection. We had also, during our relationship which was long distance at times, experimented with opening up to others during our physical distance. That didn’t bother me either. So I was just a book-read away (the ethical slut) from accepting open relationships.

Sorry you went through that. Do you think opening up had anything to do with it? Surely there is some danger to seeing other people? Not sure I could do it,that would be a long think. Same for wife,although she did reveal in conversation about the cuck stuff,that even if she did sleep with someone else,I wouldn’t be allowed to it too. Also,my balls would be chopped off if caught with another woman lol.

Posted by: @divine_o

Sounds like both of us, with a little extra reflection, found ways to take advantage of our situations!

Yep,you gotta work with the tools you’ve got 🙂

Posted by: @divine_o

Good idea, I will ask my gal, though she rarely fingers me (every two months probably) and when she does I am invariably hard as a rock, so there is no comparison.  Just thinking of it gives me the chubs...

 

@helghast As for your lady’s restriction on your toy play... on the one hand it is great if that is indeed what you want. The appeal of Ds lifestyle lies on deeper levels, so I understand from reading about it (I don’t partake in out of bedroom bdsm activities).  On the other hand, it’s a shame you can’t explore the toys on your own.  It is possible that you will experience outstanding highs with your toys in front of your wife, with intense orgasms. But I promise that these highs will be qualitatively different than those you might have alone. There is something about being immersed in fantasies, without another’s person’s touch to alter the course of a session, that creates different sensations, different states of mind. Also by playing alone, you learn things that are difficult to learn when you are partially distracted by your partner.

 There could be compromises possible. She could let you start alone for 30 minutes to get “primed.” Or you could film your solo sessions or make audio recordings for her to masturbate to later. Or she could give you mantras to say during sessions, to make sure your fantasies stay devoted to her. Just ideas to find a middle ground. I think you both would be happy with the results of letting you play solo with toys.

 

I so much agree with @divine_o here on solo sessions. It really has nothing to do, for me, with the ability to get off alone, the need or want to be alone, a level of nervousness or embarrassment in front of my wife, none of that. Being alone brings about a level of self awareness, self enhancement, and mindfulness that is close to impossible with another person not just being present but being hands-on and active with your Aneros play. I have the most skull crunching, sensory-bending, cataclysmic orgasms (while erect and flaccid) with my wife helping me out while I use a toy in me, or she's using it on me, or etc.. But alone, I also have amazing Os but I bring them out on my own, my own body is doing its own thing on its own, while I'm alone, and I have wonderful moments of clarity, openness, and expansion that affects me deeply on a universal level that I can't really grasp while with my wife. Its not that the Os I have alone are any stronger, bigger, longer lasting, more monumental, etc.. Its that I'm finding some kind of "way" within myself in this world and universe and its my brain and body and the toy that is making, almost forcing, me to see reality in different kinds of ways. I see reality in different ways as well when my wife is with me. But its not the same. Its simply not. the. same at all.

In this, a prostate orgasm is not just a prostate orgasm all the time or any time. They are the same a lot of the times but also different depending on the stimulation. With my wife I can't focus on myself like I can when I'm alone. My wife also provokes orgasms to happen within me that I know for a fact can't happen when I'm alone: I don't touch myself the same ways she does, I have mind control over my hands and body whereas I have no control over her unless I tell her "don't touch my cock until I'm ready/wanting/you want it", the rate upon which prostate Os happen and their speed and intensity are absolutely influenced by whatever she is doing to me, and she makes Os happen way more often and more readily and the happen completely out of control. Of course I have "out of control" Os when I'm alone, but with her there, its a whole other level of "out of control" because of her influence.

I warm up before she joins me sometimes, and its nice. Its kind of like a solo session but I have an expectation that she'll join me, so it makes a difference on my Os and warming up prior to when she joins. You might find some way to be alone in this kind of scenario and also find the benefits of solo play.

Its not that being not-alone is a bad thing, don't read into my words in that regard. Rather, there are levels of experience and self learning and self love, discovery, admiration, astonishment and outright bewilderment that I think you might not be getting the chance to experience by not being alone with enough time with a toy in you. Personally, I think you can even have more monumental experiences with your woman if you have the chance to develop Aneros personally, alone, and treat it as a self-building kind of work that opens your orgasmic potential in ways that dual play cannot. I know you are have breathtaking Os with her. Don't stop! But getting alone time with you and your toy is not cheating on her, its not preventing anything from happening with her, and its not a substitute for her. I love that she is dom'ing you but I wish it wasn't so intense to the point that she won't let you explore this toy alone now that you've been so awakened alongside her in bed. There are benefits to both you AND her that your solo play can bring! I know this for a fact from personal experience over the last 7 years, its been unbelievable and for a fact, anal/prostate play has developed my orgasms to the point that my wife gets off from watching me cum/orgasm just as much as she gets off on her own orgasms. She's actually had Os just watching me have Os during sessions and she has her panties on sometimes!!

@techpump

I was alone for most of my A-Less training,the wife and I had a go with toys etc at the start,but as I’m sure your aware,nothing much tends to happen in the beginning for most guys,so she decided it was a load of old tosh. 
I continued to train A-Less by myself mostly. So I have had experiences alone. I learned a lot about my body and self,and began to scratch the surface of what I was capable of. My first Super-O’s were by myself. Once I’d shown her,of course she jumped in and took over.

Learning the toys was her idea,I could take em or leave em if I’m honest. I’d much rather A-Less as it’s easy but hey ho,this is what she wants.

As I said to the other guys,I’ll broach the subject with her,see what she says,nothing’s impossible if strings are attached I suppose,not sure she’ll be interested though. She’ll not easily see the point of it like guys here do.