Far too many orgasms?

About four years ago, when I first discovered I could have intense, dry orgasms at will, I went a little crazy with it. I was blissing in restaurants, at the movies, in staff meetings at work, while driving in the car - and I even blissed my ever loving brains out at a Super Bowl party. I celebrated each of my team's touch-downs with stronger and stronger orgasms until the winning touchdown at the end of the game, when I allowed the orgasm to grow so intense, I nearly blacked out. My team won, and so did I. 😉

I experimented with willing my orgasms to grow longer and stronger every time they occurred - and some of them to lasted more than an hour, while I lay there practically gasping for air, lost in orgasmic ecstasy.

After a few months of nearly constant, daily bliss, it began to feel as if my orgasms were driving the bus rather than me. I'd feel orgasms rising up when I wasn't prepared for them - and while I could stave them off until it was more convenient, the urge to let go and let bliss was so strong, sometimes I'd find myself relenting and slipping into stronger and stronger orgasms at inappropriate times - like at weddings, solemn occasions, and such. And they became so strong and adamant that I'd be orgasming too strongly at bedtime to fall asleep - I was awake more every night for hours feeling like my prostate was in charge.

One day, while driving home from work, I could feel an orgasm rising up that was so strong, I knew I couldn't stop it - and it promised to be the strongest orgasm of my life. I pulled over into a parking lot and let it rip. I sat there in the car for nearly two hours with my face screwed up tight and my heart pounding as I relented to the most pleasurable agony I'd ever felt. Anyone who might have seen me there, writhing in ecstasy would have thought I was having a medical emergency. For a moment there, I began to wonder if I actually was. After all, sitting there for as long as I did, consumed by orgasm, I found I'd completely blown off a dinner date. I realized I had a problem. I was slacking off at work, I was losing touch with friends and family, and I was sleep deprived. I was addicted to orgasm.

I decided to take matters "into my own hands" - as it were - and try reducing my orgasmic urges by masturbating a few times a day. And that worked for a while. It felt like I was more in control - and was sleeping again. But eventually it got to the point where I'd rub one out, and five minutes later, I'd be sitting at my desk, eyes closed, floating around out near Saturn with my prostate glowing like a chunk of burning coal. I was completely out of control.

I worked up the courage to approach my primary care doctor on the subject, and after initially not believing me (that was a difficult experience, let me tell you!), he found some literature about a condition called PGAD (Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder) -- and said that although it affected mainly women, it could happen with men, too. He referred me to a urologist (whom I never went to see) and pretty much decided not to discuss the matter any further. To this day, neither of us has ever brought it up again.

I did join a PGAD "support group" of sorts - on Facebook - which turned out to pretty much be a forum of women complaining about how horrible their conditions were - and how it was ruining their lives and the lives of their families. I did chat with a couple of men who's experiences were pretty much like mine - but other than discussions of surgery on a possible cyst on their lower spines, it was pretty much just a whining session for us all. I dropped out of that group and decided that the only way for me was to take control.

After discussing with a friend what I was experiencing, and taking his advice, I bought a few guided meditation CDs of various ilks (relaxation, positive thinking, etc.) which seemed to work. After a few weeks of listening to the CDs and actively trying to occupy my mind with other things, the orgasms subsided. In fact, they subsided to the point where I actually found I had difficulty getting one to happen without manual effort.

Around that same time, I had some fairly big changes occur in my life, demanding my attention, and I went for about 2 months with no orgasms at all. And since then, while I can raise an A-less orgasm when I want to (it requires a bit of concentration and effort) - I'm no longer a slave to them.

Wow !!! That really is a " be careful what you wish for story." Thx for sharing that.

Thanks so much for the story, Tevoro. I'll take all of what you said to heart.

After resting much of yesterday (so many hours of unrelenting non-stop orgasms can wear a guy out) I'm still getting echoes of orgasms, but the orgasms themselves have mostly stopped. Though I do have that... slightly fuzzy mind, full body electricity feeling like there's one just creeping around the corner. Usually I'd welcome the orgasm into my body, but I need to get stuff done today dammit! I think part of the issue is that the last two weeks I went away and didn't bring any Aneros with me. I was working 16-18 hour days and didn't even have time for an Aless session. Maybe all that pent up energy finally released once I got home, or maybe my prostate is just being an annoying little brat trying to steal all my attention so I don't abandon it again. Either way, I think it's time for a little break to retain my sanity.

Mumbo - I completely get it. Even today, I frequently get the feeling that an orgasm is "just creeping around the corner," and that it would take very little to let it ignite. Spikester71 had it right - it's definitely a "be careful what you wish for" thing. I think perpetual orgasm might seem like heaven on earth to many men (even me still, at times) - but I know first-hand that orgasm addiction is a nightmare. I have an online friend who's struggling with it now.

I do still let myself drift into orgasmic bliss a few times a week, but I try to resist the urge to let it keep coming in wave after wave for hours at a time like I did way back when. Still it's tempting because it just feels so damned good - and on occasion, I slip. Orgasms are wonderful - especially this kind - and it would be so easy to just let them run wild - but we DO have lots of stuff to get done in our lives, and it's darn near impossible to do anything when your eyes are rolled back in your head for days at a stretch. 😉

Interesting... I never thought that this could spiral to such levels. I've experienced a mild version of this, where whenever I laid in bed, I would start getting involuntary sensations from my prostate. After the third day of almost no sleep I was starting to think "ok this isn't fun anymore" and succeeded in stopping it with some breathing and mindfulness exercises, and more physical activity, I guess my head and body needed a reset. Thanks for sharing your honest experiences. For these experiences and info this forum is so important and such a valuable resource to all of us.

Interesting... I never thought that this could spiral to such levels. I've experienced a mild version of this, where whenever I laid in bed, I would start getting involuntary sensations from my prostate. After the third day of almost no sleep I was starting to think "ok this isn't fun anymore" and succeeded in stopping it with some breathing and mindfulness exercises, and more physical activity, I guess my head and body needed a reset. Thanks for sharing your honest experiences. For these experiences and info this forum is so important and such a valuable resource to all of us.

This experience almost exactly mirrors mine. My first Aneros session was about 6 weeks ago. I used it 3 nights in a row. Then the aless sessions started. Almost always when I lay down to go to sleep. Kept me awake several nights. I was thinking "this is no longer fun" after the 2nd night of no sleep. I pretty much stopped using my Aneros. I've tried a couple of short sessions since then to see if that would appease my prostate. No dice. It's getting better, but I still get sleepless nights.

@med-sir, could you elaborate on how you managed to get these involuntary sessions to stop?

I had a heart to heart with my prostate and I think we came to an understanding. I promised to not ignore it for two weeks at a time, and it seems like its going back to its old habit of gently asking permission before giving me orgasms. I decided to have a voluntary Aless session today and it was probably the most pleasurable experience of my life. 3 solid hours of a non-stop orgasm where the baseline pleasure value was even beyond the peak of my regular O's. I didn't know I was capable of feeling that good for so long. Even nipple play hit heights I hadn't experienced before. I even had an out-of-body experience when it got really good. When I decided enough was enough, I simply got out of bed and the feelings vanished. I haven't heard so much as a peep from my prostate since; such good behavior! Hopefully this can continue to be a trend.

@Mumbo, please keep us updated on whether your prostate continues this good behavior.

I had a heart to heart with my prostate and I think we came to an understanding. I promised to not ignore it for two weeks at a time, and it seems like its going back to its old habit of gently asking permission before giving me orgasms. ...I haven't heard so much as a peep from my prostate since; such good behavior! Hopefully this can continue to be a trend.

This reminds me of @Voyager 's classic humorous thread Two Brothers. While your spontaneous orgasm phenomenon is not typical of most Aneros users, I'm pleased to hear you are establishing equanimity with your prostate. Your experience and @Tevoro 's illustrates the powerful influence our body processes have in our life, processes over which our ego consciousness does not have absolute control. I think Aneros use helps initiate this dialogue between mind and body, facilitating learning, understanding and imparting wisdom about the wonderfully miraculous organism our consciousness inhabits.

Good Vibes to You !

Oh woe is me! i think this like from Chandler sums it up for me:

"Oh, I know. This must be so hard. "Oh, no! Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!"

Jusdt enjoy, some of us only get 1% of what you experience and some even less!

This reminds me of @Voyager 's classic humorous thread Two Brothers.

Haha, I hadn't stumbled onto that thread yet. That's some funny stuff. I admit I have kind of personified my prostate and I occasionally have internal dialogues with it. It almost has the demeanor of a well-trained pet that USUALLY behaves properly but infrequently becomes a little too needy, or remembers its a wild animal and goes a bit nuts. During a session sometimes it helps to envision taking it for a walk, letting it lead me as its attached to my leash, and allowing it to explore the neighborhood. Sometimes it might be just a leisurely stroll. Other times it might get excited and find an orgasm hiding in the brush. During my crazy session it was like I was in a neighborhood filled with a thousand cats and rabbits and my prostate needed to catch ALL of them and was zipping all over the place frantically. After I decided enough was enough and brought it inside, it bit my hand, broke the leash, and continued chasing things unabated.

Or maybe I just have too much imagination.

@WildRide

Well for me, I was able to get it into control using three things I used simultaneously. Only using one or two wouldn't really work.
First, I would try to kind of "aikido" my warm pleasurable feelings in my prostate into a more non-sexual general warmth and wellbeing, like telling my prostate "ok thanks for that energy, but I need it elsewhere". Hard to put into words, but trying to redirect that energy into something that will help you relax and sleep. Kind of like scolding an animal, mumbo said it, sometimes the prostate is like a half-domesticated animal. It also works if you change your resting position to one that applies the least pressure. For me, it was easier to control the feelings on my back, the worst was on my side.

Second, I forced myself to increase the time I dedicated to exercise, to work and to relationships. It worked very well because it made me more tired physically, but it also gave a me a sense of general wellbeing and pleasure that are not necessarily sexual, but rather intellectual or strength-related. Also, hard to focus on prostate pleasure when your muscles are aching and you're making plans for the next big challenge or trip.

Third I guess that I reflected on my relationship with this new discovery and found that sometimes it controlled me and that I had to regain control over it. I tried to really understand what triggers I had that would make me spiral into losing a grip on what I really needed vs what my anxieties needed. So I tried to avoid the triggers but also re-think how I approached this kind of pleasure and WHY I was doing it.

If it seems way too convoluted for just "getting off" I know it is haha and maybe it's really specific to myself, but that what worked for me and made me have a better mindset about it. I use aneros maybe twice a month now and my sessions are better than they were before. The brain is just ridiculously powerful.

I SUSPECT that this may be a more common problem than people think.

@WildRide
I SUSPECT that this may be a more common problem than people think.

I agree. I started a thread about aless sessions disrupting my sleep.

https://community.aneros.com/community/general-discussion/how-to-stop-aless

The responses I received gave me the impression that this problem IS more common than people think. My sleep patterns are just starting to return to normal.

Thanks @med-sir for the reply.

@WildRide , I've been following your other thread too. And yes - I do think that while what we can do is pretty rare across the board - of the few of us who are able, I do think you're right. It can keep us awake. But - do you think it's a matter of not being able to shut down the process, or is it a willpower thing (too difficult to say no because it so often just feels so fucking good)?

@WildRide , I've been following your other thread too. And yes - I do think that while what we can do is pretty rare across the board - of the few of us who are able, I do think you're right. It can keep us awake. But - do you think it's a matter of not being able to shut down the process, or is it a willpower thing (too difficult to say no because it so often just feels so fucking good)?

For me, it's not a willpower thing, as the sensations I get at bedtime are not pleasant. It's usually an adrenaline-like feeling where my heart starts beating harder and faster, coupled with stomach cramps or spasms. Sometimes I get awakened in the middle of the night, too, but those times more often involve pleasurable sensations, quite often erections. It may be mental, as the sensations ramp up at bedtime, maybe from anxiety over this problem. I'm experimenting with various Aneros usage methods... Sessions with no contractions (do nothing method), sessions with contractions, short sessions, long sessions, more frequent sessions, less frequent, etc, and logging my sleep. I have an Apple watch, and I can monitor my heart rate through the night. This is useful because sometimes I may think I got a good night's sleep when I wake up, but my HR log disagrees, and sure enough, later in the day, I can tell that I didn't get enough sleep. If I can't get this under control to where I can get the sleep I need, I will completely stop Aneros use. I will stick with it another month or two, but that's all. This problem is also causing me to miss going to the gym, as I'm often too tired to go, and when I DO go now, I can tell that I'm getting weaker, as I have to use lower weights.

Strangly, though, I have another prostate massager, a cheap one, probably made in China, that's probably a knock-off of something else. It's considerably bigger than my Helix, and seems to put more direct pressure on my prostate. I used it for years before getting an Aneros, and it never caused any of the problems I'm experiencing now.

@WildRide Your description of your sleep problem certainly rang a bell with me. I went through a nasty bout of insomnia two years ago, although it was not related to Aneros use. You have already identified the link between anxiety and your sleep problems. The sensations ramp up at bedtime, maybe from anxiety. You are using a HR monitor. But the results sometimes make you anxious. Waking up in the middle of the night makes you anxious. Not going to the gym makes you anxious, too. If you are like I was, the more anxious you get the less you sleep and the less you sleep the more anxious you get. I bet trying out all those different ways to use your Aneros is doing it, too.

After a month of insomnia I first tried an online course of what is called CBT-I cognitive behavioral therapy-insomnia. You can Google it. Apparently it works for a lot of people. But not for me. It encouraged me to restrict my sleep and to keep extensive sleep logs. It just made me more anxious.

Then I tried an entirely different approach by Guy Meadows who runs the Sleep School in London. It is utterly counterintuitive. Meadows encourages you to accept the fact that for now you can’t sleep and to get on with life despite the insomnia. Trying to control the problem usually makes it worse. To be sure that’s not all to it. He has a course available as a book and a web tutorial to coach you how to shift your thinking to much better respond to the anxiety, especially what you need to do and not do every night when you go to bed, when you wake up, and during the day. And after you have learned to accept and live with the anxiety and sleeplessness for a while, they both diminish. It worked great for me. I almost always sleep very well these days. And when I don’t — and who doesn’t from time to time?- I learned from Meadows how to just accept that, too and keep going. The next night I almost always conk right out again.

The Meadow approach, I think, would tell you to stop your monitoring and keep going to the gym. But there is a lot more to it and it takes a while. Again, it is not easy to accept at first the fact that you cannot actually control things. If you are interested you can Google either his name or the Sleep School. You could also check out classic CBT-I if that approach nonetheless seems promising to you.

Of course, it you are really sure that just stopping or altering Aneros use will fix the insomnia for good that may be worth it and things will end there.

What @Eli615 said is so true and helpful! Many thanks! No need to monitoring everything; No need to do everything perfect. No worry too much!

@Eli615 , thanks for the insomnia therapy info. I’ll check out some of that.

Anxiety may be an element of my problem, but it’s not the root cause. Sometimes I get awakened at 3 am with unpleasant sensations. That’s not anxiety. That’s some internal process in my body that is spiking my HR, and causing spasms.

As for monitoring... I’m an engineer... I have to analyze. In order to analyze, I need data. I don’t think that the monitoring is causing problems. I’ve been monitoring my sleep WAY before this problem popped up.

BTW... slept well last night. 2nd night in a row. Made it to the gym. These two nights were right after a one-hour do-nothing session the morning before. Maybe my body is finally adapting.

So far so good and the involuntary orgasms haven't returned. I think part of the issue is that I never told my prostate "no" before. When you're still progressing, any good feelings are something you welcome and turning them away feels like turning away a potential learning experience. I've since learned how to say no. I do get caressed with pleasure waves and an occasional orgasm every morning as I'm waking up, but I think I'm lucky in the fact that I don't really get the accompanying full body shakes or hard contractions. So the experience is always nice; like a lover waking you with a gentle kiss. I don't know if that night was some weird anomaly or if it's something I'll have to deal with again in the future, but for now the dog is back on its leash.