Eject Aneros when dry-o

let me say what helps me,through the years of orgasms I had learned to tense up before orgasm but these are all together different animals,try relaxing all your pelvic muscles and let them work the way they feel the need. When you tense them it restricts that movement and expels the aneros. Prostste orgasms for me are longer lasting and the plateau stage is much longer.

Is there any way to "relax all your pelvic muscles and let them work the way they feel the need" when orgasm?

This is part of the learning phase, try to relax your whole body and enjoy the feelings you are getting from the aneros . The best way I can put this is don't chase the P waves or the Orgasms let them come to you. Over a period of time you will be able to enjoy these feelings , there is great information in the Wiki I still go there and read from time to time.I am sure Rumel sent you some great info when you joined.

Is there any way to "relax all your pelvic muscles and let them work the way they feel the need" when orgasm?

As I mentioned in my introductory PM to you (click on your 'Messages' button to retrieve it) Learn to relax both your mind and your body. The meditative practices of deep breathing, muscle relaxation and clearing/calming the mind will serve you well as you allow your subtle inner sensations to manifest themselves. To follow that idea up please see @darwin's post relax, relax, RELAX and @rook 's post in A Question about Breathing for some helpful tips and information links. You can also read Deep Belly Breathing and Relaxing (a file I downloaded many years ago authored by Temple University Professor R. Hicks, unfortunately no longer available online) for more instructions. Learning to relax as one approaches orgasm is more difficult than one might suppose. I don't think you are doing anything"wrong" per se, it is more a matter of changing your points of focus. I think most of us men have learned to increasingly tense our pelvic muscles during traditional penile masturbation practices but this practice may inhibit your Aneros movement and subsequent massage action. Learning to consciously relax most muscles and only selectively contract muscles which will move your Aneros massager is the challenge and only through practice will you gain proficiency at it. Kegel exercises are great at developing the correct muscle groups to employ. There are numerous articles available on the internet to teach you kegel exercises.
Good Vibes to You !