Doing it right but not having arousal or orgasm? Read this...

Instead of just having a hard cock because I'm being stimulated physically my cock is hard because I'm actually getting aroused.


I can feel the feelings of excitement in my lower belly.


All that gentle stimulation over the last 24 hours has woken me up again.


Looking down at my cock I start to imagine its being pleasured by a woman.


I keep my PC muscles and body relaxed as I lie back and just continue to roll my nipple around in small, consistant and circular motions.


I can feel it building. The pressure in my penis.


Then, the tingling feeling in the slit as it starts to feel like I'm leaking precum. I'm looking down at my cock and its bone dry.


The excitement in my belly is building. Cold waves of arousal and excitement start to emanate from my belly button in bursts.


The pressure in my cock is building and building, it feels so wet and delicious and it feels like I'm going to ejaculate.


I feel my penis straining and then throbbing as the intensity builds and builds. I'm so excited and then BOOM.


The "super" (dry) orgasm hits me.


My first nipple only INTENSE dry orgasm.


I'm gasping "Jesus Christ" in shock and I just enjoy this orgasm as it goes on for about a minute.


I lie there shaking afterwards. I start to build to another but my girlfriend comes home. Whilst she knows about all this
(and I told her about this nipple orgasm over dinner), I didn't really want to be doing it in front of her.


I can still feel the after-effects now (5 hours later!). So, my point is - if you aren't getting somewhere in a session (aneros or aless) then if you've given it a good try and still nothing is happening then STOP. Come back to it later. And if it doesn't happen then, then STOP and come back to it later.


How long to leave it before calling a session quits? If you start getting frustrated then stop. Of course if you are getting frustrated
after 5 minutes then you need to be a LOT more patient.


This sessions aren't FAILED. They work to help you access the state of arousal and dry orgasm.


So, stop trying to force it if it ain't happening and just come back to it later. As you go about your day try to periodically think about sexual things or stimulate yourself sexually. REMEMBER - the goal isn't to orgasm from this stimulation but to just help you get back in touch with your arousal so that during your next session (or the session after that) you are able to slip into dry orgasm arousal and have a "successful" session.

Once again so similar to my own experiences, even down to the thoughts when looking at my cock etc, nipple in tandem but the difference for me is that I tense my legs, it seems natural, and my cock swells and I ejacualte.

But I've been through exactly what you have, just not the dry orgasm (except once where I had 2 dry and 3 ejaculatory orgasms in quick succession using a dildo, see my blog for more info on that one)

Remember I would always say that with each of my aneros sessions it would get more intense until I would get a good session at the end of a roughly 7 day period? This is what your describing in your "arousal bank account"

Once again so similar to my own experiences, even down to the thoughts when looking at my cock etc, nipple in tandem but the difference for me is that I tense my legs, it seems natural, and my cock swells and I ejacualte.

But I've been through exactly what you have, just not the dry orgasm (except once where I had 2 dry and 3 ejaculatory orgasms in quick succession using a dildo, see my blog for more info on that one)

Remember I would always say that with each of my aneros sessions it would get more intense until I would get a good session at the end of a roughly 7 day period? This is what your describing in your "arousal bank account"

If you don't want to wait 7 days for your "bank account" to fill up then try and spend as much time as possible each day thinking sexual thoughts, stimulating yourself sexually (for example nipple rubbing or perinium play) and general sensuality.

It seems to me to not really be related to arousal levels per se but ones ability to be connected to the river of sensuality that always flows through you.

Like, its always there but you can sometimes be disconnected from it so you need to "reconnect" to it so to speak.

I've not been feeling it lately, a drop in arousal, might be tiredness...

Anyways I recall a series of days where I was filming myself during sessions and all I would have to do is play with nipples and get hard, I would feel aless feelings so amazing... Just wow. If I do it now, nothing. It seemed to be the build up over many days, I did varying techniques in my aneros sessions i between as well, including tug o war with the helix, which was lovely.

The way I look at it is like this; you can't always be Horney, but when you build it up over a period of days (in my case) you find that you feel more, you can sense more in your prostate With less effort required to achieve it.

I wish I had read your posts years ago, because I didn't and because I was told repeatedly my penis being erect was something to ignore or not focus on it held me back. I'm finding great pleasure when my cock is harder than steel, but I have a hang up about it when it does get stiff even now during sessions.

I also would compare dry orgasms in context with my ejacualtions, which are far more intense, always have been. One things I've always wanted to ask you Neros is this: when you got your dry orgasm which you call intense, for how long could it be described this way? 5 mins? Or like an ejaculatory orgasm it has a begging and end and you can identify when it peaks. Or, was it a 'continuous' orgasm

If you don't want to wait 7 days for your "bank account" to fill up then try and spend as much time as possible each day thinking sexual thoughts, stimulating yourself sexually (for example nipple rubbing or perinium play) and general sensuality.

It seems to me to not really be related to arousal levels per se but ones ability to be connected to the river of sensuality that always flows through you.

Like, its always there but you can sometimes be disconnected from it so you need to "reconnect" to it so to speak.

Be careful, sounds like the route to overdoing it and addiction. I wouldn't recommand it.

I disagree cancan, my best sessions are when I've had many sessions and thoughts over previous days, it's almost like the more I do it the more sensitive I am making my prostate and the more receptive to pleasure it becomes.

@inhope (in comment to first message)
Seems like you have learned a very valuable lesson here.

See, the idea was expressed here already, but one has to experience it by himself before it makes sense.

I hope your journey goes on smoothly from now on.

I disagree cancan, my best sessions are when I've had many sessions and thoughts over previous days, it's almost like the more I do it the more sensitive I am making my prostate and the more receptive to pleasure it becomes.

We are not disagreeing on that. Not what I was saying to Neros.

@inhope (in comment to first message)
Seems like you have learned a very valuable lesson here. See, the idea was expressed here already, but one has to experience it by himself before it makes sense.

Like from the matrix: "there is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path"

In regard to lessons learned, not really? Only because I already knew that, it's just be restated here by Neros.

in regards to your second question, sorry I don't follow? What were you saying to him then? (Sorry if I've misunderstood) Remember my post recently? I had a two week hiatus and returned to aneros sessions, it was poor if you recall.... Then after s few days of looking at images, thinking thoughts, playing with nipples etc I find I am having good sessions again.

@Inhope
The rule that seems to apply now may change in the future. But your discovery of how build up feels, works in the long run and how at times it goes unoticed holds deep truths in it.

@inhope
Oops, did you edit your message ?
If you edit your message while I answer it I am afraid the conversation will make very little sense. (Well, okay, I tend to add a few stuff afterwards myself LOL)

Regarding your matrix quote, you don't really know the path until you actually walk it.

Regarding my warning Neros, don't take for you what I thought I had to tell him.

@neros
By the way, forgot to congratulate you on the effort you put into writing down all this and trying to clarify some issues we've seen people having quite often.

@Inhope
The rule that seems to apply now may change in the future. But your discovery of how build up feels, works in the long run and how at times it goes unoticed holds deep truths in it.

That's true, things change. Do you find that too? Has it ever changed so much that you have 'lost' it?

@inhope
It changed so much since begining it is barely recognizable if at all.

But the rule of something building up (let's call it energy) and finding its way out one way or another (through either tension, pain, temperature rising high, spasms, ejaculation, orgasm, high bliss, buzzing, twitching, electric choc, irresistible itching, physical reflex, physical exercice, dizzy head, dream state, hilarity, yawning, deep stretching or whatever else)... And the more the rise and release are welcomed in a relaxed and happy way the more rewarding they become (up to transforming into totally new and unexpected things).

Anyway, no technique nor session pattern stayed for any long.

@Neros, good ideas. I have no trouble getting unbidden arousing thoughts through the day usually LOL. This is normal for most men. But sometimes I just am not in the mood or forget. I chatted with guys here about what I call a pleasure credit, a promise of future pleasure earned from long absences from riding or sex but that's not the same as your " bank". My credit is more like debt and frustration and yours is more like wealth building. 🙂

So I'm thinking yours is a good technique for building arousal for a session a day or so in advance.

I've made a discovery, i hope its not just me that this relates to but i want to share in case others have this issue.

I seem to not be understanding my arousal 'type'. I can feel horny all the time, often this is the case, but there are times when I'm not the 'right kind of horney' for an aneros session.

What i mean by this is that I'm either in a normal state arousal or i am in a MMO state of arousal, the latter where i feel i prolong the pleasure in my sessions. The former just wants to orgasm, in whatever way possible, it is uncaring, demanding and highly impatient. For me it results in me having no control over myself and i end up ejaculating and then later feeling annoyed that i have given in.

Its part down to house availability, i build up excitement because i get made aware of when i rarely get to be on my own and have a session, so there is pressure to make good use of the time. If i get nowhere in an aneros session then because of this pressure i *have* to go off and masturbate.

Then the times where i know I'm ready for an aneros session, it is the antithesis of this. I am patient, super aroused but in a different way i cannot describe. I recall a week when i was left alone for that time and it was the best week, because i had an aneros session when i was ready and NOT when i had the small window of opportunity to do so.

The problem i have is that i am really unable to distinguish between the two, usually when I'm 10 mins into an aneros session do i know. It is quite the torment at times! I remember the words in the wiki, at least vaguely: "you need to be 100% before having an aneros session" i think thats what i am not.