Does being a bottom help?

Similar situation here. I'm bi and am pretty much just a bottom with guys. I figured I'd go into this easy but it has been a learning curve for sure.

I’ve never tried it, being a bottom, per se, but I imagine it must be similar. Both on the receiving end, so to speak. 

I sure see where you are coming from, but I'm not sure how much difference it makes to see yourself as a bottom. Any number of fantasies may cross your mind in your sessions,  but I think you just focus on the one that turns you on most at that moment.  I have experienced some of my best sessions only focusing on the pleasure I was feeling in the moment and not taxing my mind to produce a movie. 

I also wonder if this way of thinking may be akin to calling marijuana a "gateway" drug. I may be totally off on my thinking, but to me, it looks more like the person is the gateway. If one is inclined to try marijuana, that person may be more open to trying "forbidden" things. 

Most of us here on this forum are obviously into trying things that are distinctly not traditional norms (I'm guessing) where we grew up, and many of us have to keep the practice at least somewhat secret. I think just being open is the most important thing...open to try this craziness, open to experience pleasure in a different way,  and the ability to recognize it. 

I guess it really doesn't matter if you mean being topped by a male or female though, and for that matter, I can only imagine a large number of people here fantasizing about being topped in some manner. 

@regal13

Thanks for the response. Normally during a session, I tend to think about sex or something first,and when things get more intense, I normally just think about how to hit the spot just right. I feel like I give myself over to it, and that's kind of what got me thinking about the whole being a bottom thing. You give yourself to someone, so to speak.

Posted by: @bogusbro

You give yourself to someone, so to speak.

Posted by: @regal13

I have experienced some of my best sessions only focusing on the pleasure I was feeling in the moment and not taxing my mind to produce a movie.

Being bi-sexual and versatile - meaning switching between the alternatives - I can tell about a lot of different fantasies. Lately I'm mostly fantasizing I'm doing myself - meaning I envision myself as top taking myself as bottom. I'd totally agree that you have to be open to receive and that this may be easier for someone who doesn't follow the mainstream model of gender roles. I'd also absolutely agree with regal13, the focus on the pleasureful feeling itself finally ends all my fantasies and takes me to a state where I only am the bliss itself, where all becomes one realm of lustful ecstasy without any gender roles or corporeality.

Good vibes, Bro's and Sisters!

Mart

Being a bottom surely helps in that you are more aware of your muscles and are comfortable being penetrated.

But it doesn’t guarantee anything. What if you have grown to like hard pounding? That means much work is to be done to learn how to focus on subtle sensations. What if you like the psychological sensations of being a bottom but don’t care much for the physical sensations?  Many women get penetrated their entire lives without much physical pleasure.

I bet many bottoms gloss over Aneros products and their accompanying practices, as they don’t align with the back and forth movement associated with penetrative sex.  I personally have heard two gay men explain to me their use of Aneros toys by saying they fuck themselves using the handle to push the devices in and out like a dildo.  I have had gay men brush me off when I talk about Aneros to them, because they say they know all about anal sex, and why should a straight boy know better than them. And I saw a video on a highly popular Instagram sex channel of two poorly informed gay men “explaining” the Aneros helix incorrectly (in my opinion).  Of course these are anecdotes based on my limited experience.  I don’t mean this as an insult to bottoms or the gay community. I just think that knowledge and preconceived ideas have the potential to prevent people from delving deeper into any given subject.

Posted by: @divine_o

I just think that knowledge and preconceived ideas have the potential to prevent people from delving deeper into any given subject.

Preconceived ideas sadly prevent so many men even from improving their masturbation techniques. 

Poor Bro‘s! 😉

Posted by: @divine_o

I just think that knowledge and preconceived ideas have the potential to prevent people from delving deeper into any given subject.

Nailed it right there, wish I understood that concept fourteen years ago. 

I understand what you mean about misconceptions and bad info out there...I was watching a YouTube video of a male/female couple who test out sex toys. He was trying a helix, I think, and after a week, she asked him, "how was the super O?" He replied  it was alright with a shrug. All I could think was he never made it to the mind blowing part of it at all! 

I’m having trouble equating Aneros success with being a bottom, or perhaps being submissive. I see those as wanting something done to you, and perhaps feeling helpless as well.

Whereas visualizing being a bottom during a session may cause arousal, and perhaps help with a session, I think of an Aneros session as something I am actively leading. I consider “do nothing” as still being active.

During an intense session, I may at times feel helpless in the throws, but I actively caused it.

Ok so I guess I misresponded to the question, or responded to a different question (the title is what got me).  Personally I am not a bottom, being rather straight, but I have very strong bottom and submissive fantasies during sessions.  I have talked about this elsewhere on the forum recently, and many people objected to my idea that aneros play, especially during the climactic moments, is a submissive activity.  So... for me it helps to let go the way a bottom might, to lose control, to fantasize about being fucked and manipulated by others.  But that is just me!

@divine_o

During my intense sessions, I remember I screamed fuck me really loud on reflex. I know I'm technically doing it to myself, but it feels like when I'm in the orgasm zone, I start to feel a lot of submissive feelings

In my opinion,no. It’d be one route for re wiring into prostate orgasm,but I don’t see how it would help any more than anything else. 

@divine_o

Posted by: @divine_o

[...] my idea that aneros play, especially during the climactic moments, is a submissive activity.

Yes I did some creative snipping here, as I still don't think people were objecting that much in that other thread, but much semantics contortions ensued, lots of it from yours truly. What about being a "power bottom" then ?

Hehe, I'm just kinda-sorta messing with you, what I got from watching probably the same videos you did is that thinking "you already know how it works because of X " is a good way to miss most of the fun. I think being able to get into a submissive mindset will help if it aligns with your personality. The way each if us gets to understand how this thing "works" and how we build some internal explanation of the how and why, this is the most important thing in my opinion. Being true to what you really want is the way to go, and if your fantasy is to be the most submissive, receptive, accepting "bottom", then that's what you need to do, regardless of what any official definition might say. 

I think being able to get into a submissive mindset will help if it aligns with your personality.

Nicely stated.

I think getting into any mindset can be difficult if a person has not previously identified with it, and in a sense, can’t accept it. 

I think being a bottom only help at the begining. it may make someone more open to begin the journey and do anal things but nothing more.