Can't get over the edge. Feel like I'm so close but anticipation killing progress.

Let me know if you figure it out. I've been circling the drain for 5 years.

As a wise man has said here many times, sensation trumps all - enjoy what you do feel without expectation, which is easier said than done, I know.

You may notice that, as you breathe deeply, as the feelings and sensations are building near your prostate, other parts of your body will begin to relax little by little. Focus on your whole body, what you feel everywhere, not just orgasmic stirring. You have probably heard or seen others mention that the super orgasm is a whole body experience - this is true.

But the other side of this coin, in my opinion, is the need for us to enjoy what is NOT orgasmic - the buildup is training your awareness of subtle pleasure all over your body, if you can allow yourself to sense it.

When this was happenng to me (what you're experiencing,) I would let myself feel everything I could, but when the buildup ceased or I didn't feel like it was going anywhere, I would just end the session, without any "release." I felt it was better to walk away from a session feeling good about it, rather than feeling frustrated because I didn't succeed in an orgasm - if you let go of that expectation, you take away the possibility of disappointment. (This works when dealing with women, as well, fyi...lol)

Pleasure trumps everything.

aneros_user113188,

... sensation trumps all - enjoy what you do feel without expectation,...
Pleasure trumps everything.Yup!

Please see my post regarding 'the Edge' and a couple of other myths.

@forum_jedi, please re-read 'Buster's thread What exactly is a Super-O to get a refreshed perspective of what, in reality, is a Super-O.
Good Vibes to You !

In trying to not force anything. I'm learning that lesson the hard way. All it causes is frustration. However when the good feelings start to build up during a session and then it feels like something huge and earthshattering is going to happen, I cant help but think "oh boy this is really gonna happen" in my head and then nothing comes of it. It's very hard trying to not expect something to come from it when it feels like I'm on the precipice of "going over the edge" so to speak. I'm trying my best just to enjoy the sensations I'm feeling.

So try this: Tell yourself you're NOT going to come. The opposite of reaching for something is letting it reach you. (In this case.)

This is interesting: Sometimes, I'll audibly say to myself, "No...no...don't come..." and I'll deliberately NOT focus on any pleasure. Within a couple of minutes, I actually CAN'T hold it back...devastatingly delicious results.

Edited to add: I think one of the most important ideas to understand, for me, anyway, is knowing I haven't fooled myself into feeling something I didn't - that's the real reason I initially abandoned contractions. They were confusing to my senses. By virtue of my "confident boomerang," I was able to relax into it all.

Thanks crimsonwolf for the advice. Im gonna try this next session. I'm gonna try to talk myself out of cumming and try to hold it back. I feel like once the damn bursts so to speak and I get one dry o or super o it will be easier and easier to do.

One other tiny detail that helped me that might work for you.....You have had those wonderful sensations, so have the confidence that they will return. When they start to fade, don't chase them. Just relax and know in your mind that they are coming back.

@Crimsonwolf great post. Letting it happen was the key for me.

@Rumel that's a fantastic post about the edge and other myths. Today and last night I had Aless orgasms that I didn't realise I was having until several seconds into the orgasm. The lack of an edge is a real mindfuck. Its like you wake up from enjoying these good feelings and suddenly realise "holy shit I'm having an orgasm!"

Zany me, here again. Please read it with an open mind and see if that helps.

There never was a edge in this. If you keep finding a edge you can't go over, then it's a wall you are facing, not an edge. And if you keep facing a wall, it just might prove you were going a wrong direction. When pushing stronger and stronger in the wrong direction, reality resisting you might end up taking the shape of a wall. The other side of the wall isn't you goal. The other side of the wall is simply impossibility, physical limits, reality saying "no, no way". In this case adventuring yourself in other directions (why not start opposite the wall?) will prove refreshing, valuable and, in the end, very rewarding.

Open mind sees no walls.

I fucking love these forums. Can I just say that?

@Canacan, that's such a beautiful, constructive description. Thank you for that!

@Rumel that's a fantastic post about the edge and other myths. Today and last night I had Aless orgasms that I didn't realise I was having until several seconds into the orgasm. The lack of an edge is a real mindfuck. Its like you wake up from enjoying these good feelings and suddenly realise "holy shit I'm having an orgasm!"

Exactly what's been happening in my aless sessions, even as I type this. I always get them on my side when just surfing the net on the iPad or whatever, I realise after a few mins that I'm having an intense aless warmth/heat inside, my cock is often flaccid too.

Just an update on my 1st post. After reading the follow posts, I'm trying to modify my expectations of what is going on. I still feel like in 5 months I have come a long way. Rewiring is definantly happening. Now within 15 minutes of starting a session I get good feeling down there and arousal tends to ramp up. No orgasm type feelings yet but it feels like it could happen at any moment. I'm just enjoying the feelings and going with it. It's funny, I am getting cravings for the aneros when I go too long without using it.

I love hearing about progress, and the "Aha!" moments that follow. 🙂

Another update. Had another session last night and it was a real long one for me, almost 3 hrs. About 2 hours in I changed position and laid on my side with both knees slightly bent. About 10 minutes later I had this whole body shivering feeling and good feelings and felt like my whole body was gonna orgasm. It didn't happen, but this shivering/pulsing feeling happened 3 or 4 more times. It felt good but it wasn't mind blowing. I tried to keep my mind on sexual thoughts. Eventually I ended the session. Today it's weird, I am going about my business and once in while I will feel like I'm leaking piss/cum but nothing is coming out.

About 10 minutes later I had this whole body shivering feeling and good feelings and felt like my whole body was gonna orgasm.

No, it wasn't gonna orgasm... For it was an orgasm already. "Whole-body-feeling-good shivering" is almost the definition of a basic GSpot/PSopt orgasm.

The rest of your story makes it clear it was a multiple one and you had ghost aless the next day.

Congratulations!

About 10 minutes later I had this whole body shivering feeling and good feelings and felt like my whole body was gonna orgasm.

No, it wasn't gonna orgasm... For it was an orgasm already. "Whole-body-feeling-good shivering" is almost the definition of a basic GSpot/PSopt orgasm.

The rest of your story makes it clear it was a multiple one and you had ghost aless the next day.

Congratulations!

Thats what i (used to) find hard to accept, the fact it was an orgasm. What are you saying here? that his near orgasmic feeling into something he could feel was going to be mind blowing was the orgasm? will it increase in intensity? what about all those posts of people stating their orgasms are incredible and earth shattering?

Compared to that what was this then?

Canacan, thanks for the clarification. I'm assuming that the dry o's/super o's will build and get more intense over time the more I use the Aneros. They felt good but were relatively weak compared to a traditional orgasm. They weren't anything life altering as some have said on this forum. The aless feeling was interesting. At one point I even went to the bathroom just to check to see if I was actually truly leaking. LOL. Needless to say I wasn't

They get more intense or not. Enjoy what you have so far. Don't ask for more. If it wants to become more welcome it in a relaxed way. Don't push it.

As it is most often the case, your expectations were wrong. What you got is very sweet. It is up to you to learn to enjoy it more and you will be rewarded. If you strive intensity you may end up trapped in intense frustration. These new discoveries are the most important life altering aspect.

What you expected the so called "life altering" experience to be like is an extremely intense version of your ejaculatory orgasm. And this is normal, cause you knew nothing else. But here you are learning new ways to enjoy your sexuality... And this is through a relaxing, non-greedy and, in the end, welcoming approach. In a word: the opposite.

ProstateSpot/GSpot orgasms are usually less intense than penile/clitorial orgasms. So yes, most of times your ejaculations will feel stronger. But they are sweeter, last much longer, can repeat, superpose and build on each-other. Would you prefer 10mins of constant pleasure at 4 on a 10 scale or 5 seconds at 9 ? Cause in the end the first amounts to 120 times more pleasure than the second.

Beware of others description of their pleasure. Their body might be different, their reference points might be different, their use of words might be different, some even have been taken red handed at lying. Beware the marketing. 😉

Unrealisticly high expectations might end up unexpectedly exact (or not)... But during the initial process, they are VERY misleading.

Keep an open mind, a relaxed body and enjoy what comes. The less you expect, the more rewarding it will be.

P.S.: ... And please leave the words "mind blowing" out of this. We are using prostrate massagers, not guns.

@canacan. I've been doing this a long time, and I've never reached a dry O. I ve have a few Haworth, but nothing else. I get amazing feelings, that last a long or a short time, but these feelings are not orgasmic, but I am to beleive, from your statements, that I am having orgasms?

This does not jive with me. All great feelings are not orgasmic and all orgasms are not that great, but I can tell if I am having an orgasm or not. Getting close to the edge of orgasm is not having an orgasm.

@forum_jedi
I wouldn't conclude anything about your experience without more description. I am positively certain for the OP but this was because of a batch of precise symptoms.

This said, two points for you:
- how could you tell if you are about to have a prostate orgasm without knowing the feeling already? ... This is very different from a penile orgasm, you know.
- in my exprience, and many others here, these relaxed orgasms have no edge. Maybe it can have one at times but never happened to me.

I keep quoting Zane's pointer :
Penile/clitorial orgasm is like a sneeze. Vaginal/prostate orgasm is like a shiver.

They are so different it is not uncommon to mistake the discovery of a new orgasm in its mild version for something irrelevant. Think twice. 😉

Now, okay, when they get huge it's harder to make the connection. People then usually say "lol, wow, I don't know what it was, but this is amazing!!!... SuperO maybe".

@forum_jedi I have talked in the past about "Orgasm" or "Orgasmic", "Orgasmic state of mind" and "Orgasmic zone" etc. They can be very different and obviously very debatable. I prefer to be in an Orgasmic zone whenever possible!

@aneros_user113188 You are making great progress and @Canacan has some very helpful advice for you. It was perfect the way he described the "scale of pleasure". As your journey progresses, I believe your score on the "constant pleasure scale" will increase. Perhaps from a 4 out of 10 to a 5 out of 10 a couple months from now....And so on! By letting this happen and just enjoying every minute, the sky is not even the limit!

BTW @Canacan, I belive now that 9 out of 10 is as high on the scale as a person can go because there is always room for improvement! It never seems to stop getting better!:)

Stick to your guns @forum_jedi its through this questioning you can make progress, it's worked with me.

If you read enough posts here, especially those threads at the top of the forum called: 'my first super orgasm / my best super orgasm' you can get a quite accurate description of what a 'dry' and a 'super' orgasm is (or likely to be).

A lot of users say its like an ejaculatory orgasm, but without the ejacualtion. Alot also state it is the same but it a much more drawn out feeling (as it is with me) and in the case of a Super O that it is much more intense than a standard ejaculatory or dry orgasm. This is where the confusion, misdirection and false expectations come in and it leads me to my next point:

I've noticed some of you say things which can be potentially harmful, not maliciously of course, but 'harmful' in terms of the creation of these unrealistic expectations. It's good to rave about how amazing something is, especially in aneros sessions, but be careful when you do.

It's the duality of these forums i suppose, its a great resource and tool for learning and support, but its also a place that can make you very jealous, resentful and upset when your progress is not as successful as others.

(no offense intended toward anyone here)

As a side note: i too feel the same as @aneros_user113188 in that after a session i need to masturbate so bad, its like the aneros session gets up worked up but doesnt give us the orgasms. If there is one thing to take from this its that its good were not alone in these experiences

@Canacan all I can say is, I didn't know what a penile orgasm was until I had one, and when I did have one; there was no doubt that it was an orgasm.

If I am left to wonder if I in fact had an orgasm; then I didn't have an orgasm.

In my estimation, if you have to ask, it wasn't an orgasm. Certainly, there are differences in orgasm intensity, but For me, I find myself breathless and telling myself, "that was amazing" after one. Anything less is just good feelings.

Keep an open mind.

I have an open mind. I stick pieces of plastic up my ass and derive pleasure from it. 🙂

I think the pleasure I am feeling which i felt is a P-wave. I don't think it's an orgasm or a mini o. I will get like this slight shiver feeling going throught my body. It's not very strong and only lasts a few seconds but does feel good nonetheless. This journey with the Aneros is interesting. Trying to essentially teach your body to cum like a women. It's a hard concept for guys to get especially after years of penile masturbation.

P-waves and miniO arent that different... It is mostly a question of satisfaction (I'll try and explain when I finish figuring out the details). Yes, they aren't very intense... Then what?

I agree in terms of an 'edge' not existing with Aneros orgasms. When resting, I can tell when either a Dry-O or Wet-O is approaching based on the edge existing with the latter. There's a tension in the abdomen unique to ejaculating. Speaking of which, it's helped a lot in preventing Wet Dreams.