Beautiful Session and Gratitude

Oh wow.

I just finished an amazing session. I'd have to say it was probably the best yet. That might seem bizarre, considering I didn't have any orgasms (well not until after). But I stand by that claim still.

I was soooo into it. I was starting to feel,... transported. It just felt unreal. Near the end I tried gripping with a different set of muscles. The glossary says the inner sphincter muscles are involuntary. I won't argue. But it was that muscle I ~imagined~ I was using. Up higher, if you get me. Or deeper. Depends on your perspective. That little tight ring right before the rectum. Anyway,... I was defintely feeling the Helix touch my prostate more than normally. It was actually so potent that even brief contact made me sigh, hiss, exhale. Sublime.

I've been taking fish oil. Not the dosage recommended by Zaneblue. Not yet. Goddess, that's a lot of pills. The brand I have would require 8-9 per day for my weight (220~ lbs). I wish I could know if this progess has been essential, that is, due to diligence on my part, or owing to the EPA & DHA.

Regardless, progess it is. Most definitely. Recently I've started to feel a horniness. Not like some have posted here, not while going about my business. Usually it only comes once I lie down. But it does come, almost every night. And I can augment it and focus it with concentration.

I bought a body ball recently (this forum seems basically overflowing with sweet fruits and suggestions), and found that laying upon it at an almost forty-five degree angle, my stomach likes the contact it makes. I think the secret is that it's like a slow external massage of the prostate, akin to the methods described before on external prostate massage.

This usually helps arouse me very nicely.

My mindset is changing. Slowly but surely. I still think that overall my biggest obstacle* is my mind and expectations. To be honest, I wish I had never read about the super-O. Then all I would have is the moment, the sensation. No anxiety, no sense of limits not breached, no striving beyond the "mere" pleasure of the moment. I could immerse myself and flow with it and take it with gratitude and without casting my eye to the horizon.

Relatively speaking. I have been getting better with this. The last few sessions I find myself thinking "oh goddess this is amazing. i love this. i could be perfectly content with this right here." And it's starting to become true. That's a very good thing, and it puts me on better footing for this journey.

For any skeptics reading this: the super-O is real. I have not a shred of doubt. Even though I've never experienced it (and this is almost 13 months --yes I'm counting), I can feel it waiting. There's a distinctly cusp-like feeling that is so enticing and addictive. I know it's waiting. My body is being clear on that much at least: there is much more to be experienced. There is a release point somewhere ahead in the future, lazing about in the sun waiting for me to see my way through the trees of my anxiety and into the beatific meadow where it resides. Arms open wide to embrace me if only I can journey patiently and stop letting worry lead me in circles.

If I ever meet the inventor of this thing I'm going to do some feet-kissing. Seriously.

Yours ecstatically,

-PQ

* I don't like this word. "Obstacle" implies that I have some great important place to go and everything else is just a vehicle for that destination. But dammit, the path is gorgeous and I don't think I want to dash through it as quick as possible anymore.