Awekening

I've never really felt the need to post on blogs before but events over the last few months have led me to want to share my experiences.I separated from my long term partner around six months ago after a protracted period of shared emotional pain. I was relieved by the physical split but was left with unresolved feelings of anger and resentment. I've always considered myself to be a sexual person. I'm intrigued by the erotic and have always felt that there had to be more to male physical sexual pleasure than what I had encountered through physical relationships. I'd experimented casually with anal play, using a small vibe to assist with masturbation. It brought something new to the experience but not enough to make me want to do it regularly. Around three months ago I bought a helix classic. I'd read some testimonials and the comments seemed to hint at a different realm of experience, something more akin to the type of fulfilment i'd always searched for.
Like a lot of posters on here I was disappointed at first. Lack of patience, experience and my years of penile focused masturbation meant that I was feeling nothing apart from some anal pleasure at the point of ejaculation. I started to think that the comments i'd read were fake or that the helix wasn't the right model for me. On my fourth or fith session something different happened. The helix began to move very slightly on its own and when I rubbed my nipples I was greeted by some wonderful, if short lived sensations. My confidence grew and I began to focus on patience and listening. Each new session seemed to offer something new. My first big breakthrough came on a Sunday afternoon, my bedsheets were covered in sweat and my body rocked by spasms. I lost around four hours of time and experienced something that I knew I wanted to explore more deeply.The next day at work was unbearable, my head throbbed with confusion and my nipples cried out for touch. I'd never experienced anything so body altering before. Some of the following sessions were disappointing - unrealistic expectations, fatigue, over use and the chase for mythical sensation that many have fallen foul of. I've tried many different techniques and at times have thought that I've stumbled on the "path". The more I read on this site the more I start to understand the journey. My focus now is on pleasure and growth, not hitting milestones or ticking boxes.
I've just bought a program jnr which arrived this morning. I don't have enough space here to describe what a delicious morning I had culminating in what I think was a Prostate orgasm (with a few dry Os along the way). I don't think that I've had a Super O and perhaps I never will. If I can maintain something close to the levels of physical and mental bliss that I've encountered over the last few weeks I will be a happy man. I've never been a spiritual person in a religious sense. What I've felt over the last few months has however altered my consciousness in a way that I could not have imagined and I find myself looking at life in a way that I can't currently articulate fully. Anyway -I just wanted to say thank you. I hope to post again at some point in the future.