Aroused versus relaxed

I guess the way I would describe it is relaxed body and aroused mind. The more relaxed the better, but you don’t want to fall asleep and that is where the aroused mind plays a big part. If you can imagine your body being separated from your mind then you are on the right track!

Have you ever gotten horny while sunbathing at a beach or pool? Or when you just woke up?

Actually total relaxation when feeling tensing of muscles, because of arousal, creates stronger erections.

While I know the mind is our main sex organ, an aroused mind still has physical consequences, especially in the groin area and flutterings in the stomach. Not particularly relaxing in my experience. So I’m still not sure how the totally relaxed body can work with an aroused mind. And tense muscles do lead to an stronger erection (and the tense muscles result from an aroused mind) but again how is that being relaxed. And when I slide my beloved helix home, I become even more aroused but unfortunately far from relaxed. It’s a conundrum.

Try thinking of "relaxed" a bit differently. Rather than thinking of it as a physical relaxation think of it as a 'letting go' type of feeling. Clear your mind of the clutter of the day, concentrate on one thing like your breathing for example. As you're doing that start to notice the feelings of pleasure your body is giving you and then slowly turn your attention to them.
If you want to picture some erotic imagery at first that gets your motor running that's fine too as long as you're able to focus on what's going on inside your body. Soon those feelings will be all that matters anyway. 😎

I get myself aroused mentally then put in my aneros. Relaxation is more a physical thing as I will continue to fantasize but I will not touch myself. I relax my muscles and let my mind, my fantasies and the aneros carry me along.

Ok: I am going to try to make some [disjointed] observations and comments. I'll preface it with my reliable "mantra": WWFY: whatever works for you. And we are all different in what makes us Like you, simeonh, I had noticed a number of Anerosers talking about watching porn or other sexually/sensually stimulating material before they ride, and some of them would say that it is an important element in ensuring a "successful" ride. I don't think I have "prepped myself" that way. But I think that most of us feel Aneros "horny" when we want to ride. So, that might be the arousal that is needed. On the other hand, I have had good rides without any "preparation"--waking up in the middle of the night, emptying my bladder and then just inserting.
I have to agree with karvec1959 about what is meant by "relaxation". That is why some guys like to precede their rides with a warm (?hot) shower or bath... Getting rid of the cares of the day. It is important, I believe to be able to focus on the sensations. Distractions, even nice ones, like music or scented candles, are not effective in my experience. I had tried music early on in my career, 6 years ago, but I abandoned it. I also have tried some of those binaural clips and I haven't had success with that either.
On the other hand, for me, riding with someone is a turn on, and definitely arousing. And nothing could be more non-focused and distracting than having to respond to someone else's state of arousal while riding.
It doesn't bother me that there are paradoxes in what I have said, and I have also had good rides that contradict what I've said above. I do think that the inconsistency in achieving a good ride adds a measure of uncertainty and adventure to all of this.

Can someone please enlighten?

@simeonh , This may not be a perfect analogy but it is something like the electrical formula Amperage = Wattage/voltage in that Orgasmic Pleasure = Arousal level/Relaxation quotient. Here the Relaxation quotient is some percentage of body muscular tension. Arousal and relaxation may be related but they are not the mutually exclusive. Thus in the formula OP = A / R they are variables which affect the intensity of the Orgasmic Pleasure. If you increase the Arousal level for any given Relaxation quotient the Orgasmic Pleasure is increased and likewise if you reduce the Relaxation quotient for any given arousal level you will also get increased Orgasmic Pleasure. Obviously body muscular tension will never go to zero so infinite orgasmic pleasure is not likely and if Arousal level ever falls to zero then Orgasmic Pleasure would fall to zero as well.

Please see the thread Are you "aroused"? for the intended meaning here for Arousal level. How you go about increasing your arousal levels and decreasing your relaxation quotient is as varied as the individuals involved.
Good Vibes to You !

A few more disjointed thoughts about arousal and aneros.
I haven't really tried viewing good looking "bods" prior to riding as "foreplay", but it might be something that might be conducive for me. There have been amazing rides during which I envisioned someone taking the place of my device with his finger. And I would call out to him. And a very few times ( other rides), I went as far as asking either an unspecified man or another guy I have chatted with to enter me. But that is more an aneros fantasy than an arousal thing.
I have ridden during intimacy, and that hasn't been really successful. That is, I haven't gotten to an anal or prostatic O while in the gearing up for a wet O. But I have had my device auto-F me during ejaculation, and that was interesting. In that situation, it seems that there is a tie in between the sensuality of Aneros and sexual pleasure--something that I have yet to work out fully.