Aneros and an 'Optimal' mind state?

Man, that is a thorough post and almost too intimidating to respond to. You got me all nostalgic reading some of the links.

I have little to add at this moment but would like to share some frustration that I run into:

I follow all the rules of proper sleep hygiene. I turn off all my screens half an hour before bed and read a book. My bedroom is clean, dark and cool; the sheets are freshly washed. In the air hangs a scent of lavender. The soothing sounds of rain can be heard tapping on the window.
I have learned throughout the years that all this helps, and it really does, but after lying awake for an hour I think to myself: why can't I fucking fall asleep, I need to get up early so I really need to sleep. Why don't you just surrender? Why don't you just stop thinking and all that stuff? - yes, I'm trying to but it's kinda hard when you keep bothering me with all this bullshit about what I need to be doing.
Eventually, I will fall asleep though. I never know exactly when or how.

It's funny you hardly mention any sort of erotic preparation in answering a question about how to mentally prepare for an orgasm (albeit the most mysterious of all orgasms). Am I missing something? Can't "horny" be a state of mind? There are surely people on this forum that approach prostate orgasms as a spiritual practice that is far-removed from sex, or as some combination of spirituality and sex. But the prostate is part of the reproductive system, and most of us are hard-wired to become turned on by sexual stimuli, which in turn promotes sensitivity of erogenous zones and of the genitals, including the prostate...

So...

Before starting a session, why not try: reading (or writing) erotica; looking at (or drawing) erotic images; watching pornography; listening to sex sounds; imagining your partner (or a dream partner) in incredible detail (both their body and what they might be doing to you); talking dirty to an imaginary partner (for some, saying words out loud can be frighteningly erotic)? And for those fortunate enough to have a willing partner, why not spend an hour or two doing sexy things with them without ejaculating, then take a short break (or not) before embarking on a solo prostate play session? Or for those fortunate to go on a date now and again, why not after a first date, where you got to kiss a new partner for the first time, and you just came home alone with a head full of exciting ideas? Or after talking to a telephonic sex-worker (don't know the proper terminology there!)? Or after doing whatever the hell you need to do to get to a really horny mental state?

Personally I forge my "optimal" state of mind through the erotic stimuli alone, which is why I bring it up. I don't do any yoga, hypnosis, or listening to music, and I do minimal breathing/relaxing exercises (5 minutes is probably the most I've ever mustered). I imagine there are others like me here?¿?

Oh and @Mitaru I wish I could be that good about no screens before sleeping. But here I am, about to close my laptop as a precursor to closing my eyes. And... I probably won't be able to sleep either :p

Am I missing something? Can't "horny" be a state of mind?

I don't think you are missing anything here. Being sufficiently aroused is certainly an important aspect of any sexual activity, not just prostate play. (please see related thread Are you "aroused"?)

There are surely people on this forum that approach prostate orgasms as a spiritual practice that is far-removed from sex, or as some combination of spirituality and sex.

Indeed there are and I think that's great as well. I often think about my Anerosessions as erotic meditations, especially when they don't lead into orgasmic events, this frequently occurs for me precisely because I haven't gotten into an optimal mental state for a Super-O to occur.

Before starting a session, why not try: reading (or writing) erotica; looking at (or drawing) erotic images; watching pornography; listening to sex sounds; imagining your partner (or a dream partner) in incredible detail (both their body and what they might be doing to you); talking dirty to an imaginary partner (for some, saying words out loud can be frighteningly erotic)? And for those fortunate enough to have a willing partner, why not spend an hour or two doing sexy things with them without ejaculating, then take a short break (or not) before embarking on a solo prostate play session? Or for those fortunate to go on a date now and again, why not after a first date, where you got to kiss a new partner for the first time, and you just came home alone with a head full of exciting ideas? Or after talking to a telephonic sex-worker (don't know the proper terminology there!)? Or after doing whatever the hell you need to do to get to a really horny mental state?

These are all terrific ideas worth exploring in their own right as arousal generators.

Personally I forge my "optimal" state of mind through the erotic stimuli alone, ... I imagine there are others like me here?

I have no doubt you are correct in that observation. Being sexually aroused (horny) is certainly an element of the mental state necessary to get into the Super-O zoneros. That would fall under the general category of arousal which would be applicable to nearly all forms of sexual play. I was trying to identify something more specific to solo prostate play leading to prostate orgasms.

@Mitaru & @divine_o , I'm afraid I can't offer any suggestions for your sleep conundrums, maybe we need to commission a musician to compose an Aneros Lullaby to seductively lull us to sleep after our Anerosessions.

Good Vibes to You !

@rumel you bring up good points in your thread "are you 'aroused' "

Mental and physical arousal are of course inextricably linked. Personally, whether mental arousal leads to an erection or leaking of precum, seems to be arbitrary in obtaining an orgasm. I hardly get erections during my sessions (I am hard maybe 10 percent of the time, and I can have many super-Os with a completely flaccid penis), although I have no problem getting and maintaining an erection for hours at a time with the right partner (I'm in my early thirties). I have never leaked precum, which is something I just discovered I can even produce, through extreme edging techniques and the help of my aneros toy. Before reading this forum, I was fully unaware that precum could flow copiously for some men in an aroused state.

I see what you mean for specific prostate play mindsets. But then again, all the techniques you mention could work as well in partner play. Though I don't practice those techniques, I know people who do yoga, hypnosis and other relaxing and spiritual-grounding techniques before embarking on couple play, especially in the more limit-pushing worlds of sex (role-play and BDSM) where a certain amount of mental preparation can be necessary.

I didn't mention one mental preparation that can make a session incredible for me, and seeing as our identities are masked by avatars I will bring it up (although I've told many of my friends in real life, too, as I don't really care anymore what other people think). I recently bought a dress, a vintage pink dress with flowers on it. When I put that dress on I become a different person. I become calm (I am usually talkative and obnoxious), sweet, cute, compassionate. It creates a dual presence in the room: I am still me, but there is also a female present. It is the first time I have ever cross-dressed, and it is really arousing for me! For example, if I am in mid-session and a little to distracted to have orgasms, I will put on the dress and within a minute or two start having super-Os. For those who have masculinity issues in terms of fear of being penetrated, this could help create a different mindset (if you are able to accept wearing a dress of course... but is it taboo? even better!). Bonuses of a dress: if there are buttons on the sides, you and a possible partner have access to your chest; for anal access, just lift up the bottom and insert your toy; sexy stockings are very possible because they still leave your entire nether region available for servicing; for heterosexuals, women love it, at least the ones I know (I can't say for homosexual men). So though this is surely particular to a subset of men, it could help to try. Think about it... does it turn you on? Try it, then!

I recently bought a dress, a vintage pink dress with flowers on it.

I don't think that I'm man enough to pull off wearing a dress.
I am a heterosexual man that is not bi-curious at all. I can find beauty in a man's body in an aesthetic way. Working out gave me an appreciation for it but I would never want to do anything with a man.
I am a guy that gets mistaken for a gay person a lot though. I think because of the fact that I am an hsp and sensitivity is considered a female quality. I always say to that that I don't feel the need to proof my manhood or act more masculine because I'm already a man. I'm perfectly fine and happy with my personality and traits.

I see wearing a dress as a similar thing. Even if you like to feel more female you are still doing that as a man if anything it shows that you are comfortable with who you are and this could be seen as an important point of developing an 'optimal' mindset.

I have experimented with this with hypnosis files that are from a female POV and this feeling you mention of being more sweet and cute is nice to experience. Sometimes when watching porn I also switch perfective where I empathise with what the girl is feeling instead of the guy. Or during a session, It helps to feel submissive and wanting to be fucked. This is also a reason why I prefer to 'let things happen' or the 'do nothing' method over more manual ways of going about it. I find it highly erotic when it happens. Even if I don't feel sexual at all or am not doing anything that could be considered sexy just the movement and sensation can turn me on.

I kinda see this as a yin/yang, male/female type of deal. Where you strife for balance between the two polarities. Embracing one's female side might be hard to set as a requirement for obvious reasons but it wouldn't be crazy to do so.

I don't think that I'm man enough to pull off wearing a dress.

That is the best thing I've read in a while 🙂

I too consider myself heterosexual in that real-life sexual encounters with men do not turn me on at all (where as male pornography does turn me on). I have many opportunities to have sexual encounters with them as I run with a crowd filled with gay, bi and transvestite men who regularly hit on me in parties, and who I'll even kiss and fondle for funsies. But it just doesn't turn me on. I wish it did, it seems like lots of fun, but I guess that's how I'm wired. However pretty much any woman will turn me on just by smiling at me. So for me crossdressing has nothing to do with sexual preference. If anything, it allows me to enjoy being with a woman when I am alone, and to feel a woman's regard differently when I am with a partner. BUT it is very new for me, so my thoughts on the matter are pretty half-baked for now.

Wearing my dress does magnify my desire to be penetrated. It makes me want to lift up my dress and have someone fuck me, to be dominated, to lose control of a situation. That is probably the biggest arousal trigger involved. Being dominated requires a certain amount of letting go psychologically, which goes against the received tenants of occidental masculinity (the only kind I know). Of course this view of donning feminine garb to become more docile and submissive would irk more than one feminist, because the of the patriarchal undertones. However, my very feminist female friends have reassured me that it doesn't matter for multiple reasons: I consider myself a feminist, an ally of women and of feminists; it is a sexual game which doesn't necessarily reflect my ideas on the world (my closest feminist girlfriend, who is a major public figure on women's rights, enjoys rape scenarios and other sexual games that are completely contradictory of her philosophy if taken as anything more than a game); I don't actually think of all women in that way, just a certain type of woman, and that is the one I want to incarnate; if I truly thought that all women were like that would I really be in bed with one who is dominating/pegging me...?

Sorry @rumel for cluttering your post with transvestite musings 🙂 But maybe some struggling guy will put on a dress and that will turn out to be the key!

Also @rumel I am a professional musician, but if I were to write a lullaby to help others go to sleep, that would mean one more sleepless night for me... So I'll refrain for now.

Another way to reach optimal mind state is to let it build itself over time.
I believe your mind can do it all by itself.
In the beginning,the mind is super alert searching for this pleasure and hfo that Aneros and it’s users speak of. First experiences spin the mind,as you try to log exactly what you did so it can be recreated. As you progress,and discover new things,you get used to them,then bit by bit,the mind shifts off them as they become second nature. So you relax piece by piece over a period of a year in my case.In mayfields keys to backdoor post,one of the best pieces of advice I’ve read,is to stay away from external stimulation,like drugs,vibrators etc,I would say porn and the like aswell,I found porn just distracts you as scenes end,or let’s face it,if you’ve seen one youve seen them all,but of course I realise some can’t do without it.I think this was to steer people into perfecting the craft without becoming reliant on other things,I would class this as building it naturally. So I went ahead with just my own imagination,fantasised about real people etc. So as I moved further forward,even erotic imaginations are fewer and fewer,as now,the pleasure generating in my pelvic region,is what arouses me more and more,and I think this is where your mind is becoming optimal ,not needing anything,I find it hard now to focus on erotic thoughts,they just flutter away,maybe until I surge at orgasm,then the thoughts are random,I’ve had everything from trays of muffins to phone chargers.
So,the way I have went about the reaching the optimal mind state ‘naturally’,I would say has made me better for it,as the pleasure is enough,and self building.

Of course this view of donning feminine garb to become more docile and submissive would irk more than one feminist, because the of the patriarchal undertones.

You are lucky that your friends are so open-minded. God, that is one debate you do not want to be in.

@Mitaru If they are your real friends,it shouldn’t be a problem debate.

I didn't mention one mental preparation that can make a session incredible for me, ... I recently bought a dress, a vintage pink dress with flowers on it. When I put that dress on I become a different person.

This is actually a self hypnosis suggestion. I would theorize this action of cross dressing is the trigger for an attitudinal shift into the optimal mind state for you. So congratulations for discovering this for yourself. While this action (cross dressing) may have many more implications about the action of your psyche and subconscious desires, I think its great you've discovered its value in getting to the Super-O zoneros.

For too many men the paradigm shift in thinking away from the rigid stereotypical male role model of behavior is too difficult for them and thus they struggle or fail to achieve much success with Super-O's.

I don't think that I'm man enough to pull off wearing a dress.

Are you man enough to wear a kilt?

Another way to reach optimal mind state is to let it build itself over time. I believe your mind can do it all by itself.

This is essentially what all of us actually do. "All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become." - Buddha
Good Vibes to You !

Are you man enough to wear a kilt?

A kilt? I don't know, probably not Scottish enough? I made my comment as a joke 🙂

@Mitaru My bloodline is Scottish,and trust me,your more Scottish than you think ;).

@Mitaru I am lucky, but they are my friends for a reason. However, and this is for another thread, none of my friends show any interest for prostate orgasms... I think they are really missing out of course.

As for that sort of debate, I love it! It makes me think, listen, and learn new ideas...

@tommygun I agree with you on the distraction of pornography. The only "porn" video that I have found that I enjoy with aneros is an ASMR video of two women kissing sensually for 8 minutes that I use primarily for the audio. I sometimes put it on on loop in the background with headphones for the ASMR bit to have its full effect, but I hardly pay attention to the visual aspect, as my eyes tend to go bonkers during sessions. It is searchable on pornhub as "asmr lesbians tongue kissing". I highly recommend it. With good headphones it feels as if you are getting your ears licked 🙂

@Mitaru

As for that sort of debate, I love it! It makes me think, listen, and learn new ideas...

Well yes, with an open minded person that would be good. That is what I ment with saying that you were lucky. You seem to hang with a cool open minded crowd.
If not it would be kinda hard to defend that you mean it in a good way but even than not impossible to do.

That video you mention I actually have bookmarked. If you are sensitive to sound and like ASMR it is very good.

This is actually a self hypnosis suggestion. I would theorize this action of cross dressing is the trigger for an attitudinal shift into the optimal mind state for you. So congratulations for discovering this for yourself. While this action (cross dressing) may have many more implications about the action of your psyche and subconscious desires, I think its great you've discovered its value in getting to the Super-O zoneros.

Interesting, I guess the state I get in is a certain sort of hypnosis seeing as I change characters completely. I hadn't thought of it that way before, but like I said it is very new for me.

For too many men the paradigm shift in thinking away from the rigid stereotypical male role model of behavior is too difficult for them and thus they struggle or fail to achieve much success with Super-O's.

Yes I believe you are right there, as you know way more about the subject than I do. You have been here much longer, and I personally didn't have to deal with these issues, having grown up fond of my feminine side and surrounded by hippies. But I am seeing more and more through users posts that this is a serious roadblock, given the vulnerability and giving up of control that anal penetration implies, as well as the letting go required to attain orgasmic states.

@Mitaru My bloodline is Scottish,and trust me,your more Scottish than you think ;).

My bloodline is kind of a mystery, not knowing my grandpa. If I turned out to be Scottish that would be just fine.

@Mitaru ha, maybe you make up for the other half million views that didn't come from me 😉

Actually female feminist friends are the ones that helped me justify it, if you can believe it. And yes, I hang with only the best!

I purposely try not to over-analyze my arousals now. I find that lately, I will select an erotic "meditative" type of track (even binaural ones for prostate health and healing), lie-down with headphones and just experience the enticing sounds. This is probably what @rumel referred as a "Hypnagogic state". Where that leads me is entirely up to my body and my mind. Sometimes, things happen (like erotic chills and an erection), but sometimes they don't. And that is okay with me; I never try to "force" any kind of sexual response on myself. That will happen sometimes, and the feeling can be weak or extremely strong. If strong, those feeling can propel me right into an Aneros session. Other times, I will end the meditation, let the erection subside, and just move-on with the rest of my day. There is no set pattern here.

With my practices of semen retention and male chastity, I have moved-beyond just "rubbing one out" when I feel like it. But there are occasions, particularly when nearing the "end" of an SR "run" that it just feels right. I do this not out of a sense of obligation, rather that is what feels "right" at the time. There is little time for analysis, I just do what I feel.

If all this sounds rather vague, it probably is because IMO the prostate is a mysterious organ, an adept player in our sexual arousals (and particularly ejaculations) but seeming to have its own way when separately coerced to orgasm through a massage session.