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10/14/2019 6:04 pm
Someone once explained to me her take on the difference between male and female orgasms. Ejaculatory orgasms are a raw, visceral thing, and clitoral orgasms aren't far off. G-spot orgasms (and, consequently, why so many women never experience them the same way men dont get P-spot orgasms) are a far more emotional thing.
All the same beats are there; you press too hard on the G-spot, the girl's gonna feel the need to answer a call. Same with us and too much pressure on the prostate. Both take more finesse to manipulate than what's on the surface.
But, all of this you know already. Where's the revelation?
Put very briefly, I went through all the steps I took in the session where'd I'd been closest to being where I wanted to be. I'd been fantasizing about an imaginary partner. I imagined this "person" expressing to me the desire to be there only with me, and no one else. An L-bomb may have even been dropped. For a very short moment, I'd managed to convince myself it was all real. That there truly was someone with me that I could trust completely, to be intimate without feeling unsafe, or letting thoughts of "will this person run around on me?" run rampant.
And that was it. The chains fell off, the shackles undone. It started with a sense of well-being, and followed through with a warm ache in my gut. I didn't get as far as any shuddering or convulsions, but I think I might have done with a little more time. I'd been at it for hours already, and couldn't stay in that headspace for much longer.
So there you are. I think the "sense of well-being" is the key. To feel safe enough to leave yourself in a vulnerable state as you switch your brain off and to let go of all fear of judgement and "What if someone sees my while I'm writhing around and screaming in rapture?". I expect this is why so many report success with cannabis use during a session, and why a lot of women never reach orgasm. The physical only takes you so far.
On the other hand, I may be way off. I've also heard that the key is to masturbate standing on your head, or in any other position where your head is below your heart. "The heat from the blood rushing to your face tricks something in your brain into thinking you're blushing, and..." and so on. So who knows?
10/14/2019 7:48 pm
You're not "way off" if it works for you! It sounds like your right on in that case. I have trouble believing there is one key that works for everyone. Maybe that is what is blocking you and many others, but I don't think it is the same for everyone. So perhaps it is one of many keys? For a counter-example of your g-spot analogy, I have been with women that want there g-spot rubbed HARD. So hard it hurts. Me. My fingers. Not them 🙂 I know that in the beginning of my journey I would lose my arousal because I thought I left the door open and I became paranoid. It doesn't happen anymore. But maybe what REALLY changed for me is that, now, I don't have that problem because I am not distracted by mind noise because the main event is so enthralling. No way of knowing though.
Topic starter
10/14/2019 9:28 pm
I never said rubbing either spot was painful or unpleasant in all cases. Just that for both men and women, it just makes you feel like you need to pee. Just pointing out that there are more mirrors than not.
10/14/2019 9:55 pm
Oops, your right! Sorry, I misread.
10/14/2019 11:00 pm
This could be just me, but as my prostate massage ramps up my arousal, and my prostate swells with orgasm, I do not feel any need to pee. That comes 5-10 minutes after a session when the prostate settles down.
10/15/2019 10:47 am
It's all so connected to relaxation, open-mindedness and turning off thought noise that I think you're close to the mark. I've used similar imagery in my head during a session and it does help very very much. In the end with aneros we ARE learning a new sexual life and shedding cultural notions.
I've used several, I guess the two most effective ones are one where it's me who is doing the pleasuring.. to my self like there's two mes. And since no-one knows me better than myself.. what I like, etc. then I feel much more comfortable letting go. I feel good about myself, and I guess that sort of takes the place of that loving partner you mentioned. It sounds extremely egocentric, when I read it again haha but it's more of a feeling of personal wellbeing: "I feel good about myself, I love myself, it is my own body pleasuring itself, therefore I am in good hands.”
The other really effective one is one where I visualize a goddess, she is ancient but very young and beautiful kind of like a greek or roman female, busty, wide hips, etc (it changes, sometimes I would change that image to a particular woman that really turns me on) and I visualize her in many ways and interactions. I worship and surrender to her. If I am on my back, she’s looking down at me happy, approvingly, because I am stimulating the root of my manhood. The more pleasure I feel, the more she is pleased and a warmth fills my entire body. If i’m on fours, she is caressing my hair, chest and back, and with the other hand she lightly touches my prostate with one finger, blessing it with immense pleasure. Again, when she’s pleased, warmth fills my entire body.
Topic starter
10/20/2019 8:38 pm
This could be just me, but as my prostate massage ramps up my arousal, and my prostate swells with orgasm, I do not feel any need to pee. That comes 5-10 minutes after a session when the prostate settles down.
I meant direct manipulation like with a finger or something else. When you really press down on it. Aneros and other massagers are designed to be gentle and subtle.
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