A Question About Breathing

@ScottD: A little longer than 2 years into my journey and I notice when I start focussing on 'how' I'm doing the contractions it still breaks the spell.
All the different types methods I read on the forum only confused me. Some would say x amount of anal squeezes x amount of pc muscle, this never worked for me. It was only when I learned to hone into the pleasurable sensations and let my body take over I started to make progress.
Indeed you are overthinking it, don't think, just let the pleasure be your guide.

When I started meditation, I learnt to become conscious of my breathing. It's one of the hardest things to do, be conscious of your breathing and at the same time (without trying to interfere) to just let it happen. I think it's analogues with the Aneros.
In the beginning you should let it happen, let your body, your whole being be focussed on pleasure, this way your subconscious mind takes over and all the muscles and limbs in your body will move of their own accord.

However once you've learnt how to become orgasmic, you can use the in- and outbreath to great effect, to magnify the orgasmic feeling.
Paradoxically you hold the extasy inside you by pushing the orgasmic energy out. And then when you breath in it's like your charging your body to make the next outbreath even more intense

I have made some very good progress in the past few weeks, once I figured out how to trigger involuntaries (I had gone for a year with no results at all, until I cut off the handle of my aneros). The buildups have been getting longer and more intense as I learn not to try to reach for the orgasm, to keep myself relaxed and to not try to think my way through it. Even though I haven't reached orgasm yet, t's been an incredible experience, and I can honestly say that no traditional orgasm has felt as good as that.

My most recent challenge seems to be my breathing. There comes a point where my held contraction kind of fades from my conscious control. I know I'm still holding it, but there is some disassociation, if that makes sense. I've noticed that as things build, that contraction slowly gets stronger, and things get better and better. My problem is that it gets to the point that my breathing and the anal contraction conflict. If I take a deep breath, it forces the contraction to weaken or go away entirely, which breaks the cycle of buildup from the involuntaries and throws me back to the start. If I breath more shallow to avoid messing with the contraction, I either end up hyperventilating, or, if I take slower breaths, oxygen starved. That, too, breaks the cycle, as it gets too uncomfortable to continue.

It might just be that I'm overthinking it, or that I need to give a bit more time for my muscles to train, but I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions.

I think I can attribute my recent success in part to breathing. For the longest time I have been concentrating on my contractions, but recently as I have become aware of my contractions, I have shifted my focus to breathing. Nothing fancy, just slow deep breaths in and out. After several breaths I find my mind wanders and I lose track of my breathing.... I just start over again.
I've always read that you can't make it happen, and while I always believed that, without a few orgasms under my belt, it was hard to keep the faith.
I'm not sure if the breathing triggers something in your body, or the breathing takes your mind off your contractions and gives you something else to focus on?
I have always had a hard time not holding some sort of contraction. Even while I thought I was compeltly relaxed, I would become aware that I was clenching of some degree, never able to fully let go. I still have that issue, but the deep breathing helps me with that

I subscribe to thhn's thought that focus on breathing pulls the mind away from thinking and wandering. Zazen teaches to focus on just breathing and 'nothingness.' When I do sitting Zazen, I wind up visualizing a blank piece of white paper over my hands.

I also think Helixer's approach to 'trying not to interfere' works well for many guys. However, as a 'thinker' it failed with me and I needed the discipline of breathing and a very gentle but structured routine.

So, ScottD, what you're saying sounds very familiar:

First, I KNeW RELaXAtIoN !! @#^#!#$ !! AND DAMMIT, I WAS RELAXED during my sessions. And, why was I not hearing much from my body when I inserted an Aneros? I was always the guy who could walk into an annual physical and 'relax' to force his blood pressure down from 135/80 to 122/68. Worked for me! (note that there is no "I" in 'Aneros.')

After four or five months of 'journey' my sessions were much as described in ScottD's post. However, this may have been a necessary evil since I was a was a tough nut to crack regarding the 'trying' bit.

Although those early sessions generated a lot of pleasure, the feelings (mini-waves) had arrived on a 'plateau' (politically correct word that avoids saying, "against a wall.") 😆

It seemed quite confusing, with no road sign to identify a direction to take. I'd listen to my body but it wasn't 'talking.' ... just mumbling, "I really like this and can we stay here for an eternity?"

Perhaps, relaxation and meditation would help. I purchased several CDs on relaxation. ($$... throw money at the problem.) Then, read several treatises on relaxation.

Being atomistic rather than gestalt the 'progressive relaxation' approach worked for me. Example: -- Stress Management and Reduction at the University of Texas at Austin -- There are scads of these on the web -- pick the easiest, most understandable one for you.

Opinion: Later in the rewiring process...(I'm not done yet.) I'd find that atomistic would be replaced by something more, gestalt. My elemental approach, to describing my body and being, would fade into a collection of fractals, spiritual thought and action. In late 2009 I was nowhere close to gestalt. So, a 'nuts and bolts,' non-spiritual, particulate, structured approach was all that I could comprehend. Spiritual would come later.

As I 'got into' the relaxation thing, I identified a deeper relaxed state about every week or two. Somewhat like stepping down a staircase and looking back upward to where I was earlier in this mini-journey toward being limp. Reflection is a great teaching tool!

--- my routine, pretty close to how it existed in early February 2010, a month before my first Super-O ---

Once settled in a position and inserted, I ran through a progressive relaxation routine. Mine started with my "nail beds" (the flesh and fascia under my toenails) and worked to the top of my scalp. More advanced guys might prefer a different path along their chakras and joints focusing on 'quiet.' Not understanding chakras, mine was just muscle, skin, and facia ( -- Fascia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia -- ).

When that was done, I would run a quick 'quality assurance' check on the body. Just to feel for any 'misbehaving' or 'cheating' body parts. Was that anus and rectum really relaxed ? Some guys here like to pre-warm the Aneros so that it's as close to 'invisible' as possible. I never went that far in my prep.

Nowdays I am able to relax without fussing around with with each element of each muscle group. I think that 18-months ago it was essential. I still run the 'Q.A. check' though.

Next was (and is) a 15 minute modified Zazen (nose breathing into the belly) meditation with focus solely on belly breathing and nothing else. Not as easy lying down as pure 'sitting Zazen' since the gravity vector is "sideways." If you find a good Zazen style breathing routine for 'horizontal,' please publish it in the Forum. Ditto if you find a Zazen substitute.

After thinking about 'nothing' for 15 minutes, I mentally pick up on how the Aneros is doing -- just a 'status check' with absolutely NO 'intent' of moving it. I feel it being moved by my breathing so I know there's very little stress in my anal canal or rectum. And also, that my prep and lube were, 'spot on.'

If I 'pass' that check, I continue my Zazen breathing and feel the Aneros floating back and forth as I breath. If not, then it's back to pure Zazen thought for a few more moments of pure breathing without the Aneros in my mental picture.

(Now, over a year later, I visualize the Aneros as seen looking down my rectum from a point near my bladder. Faint light gray outline of the tool against a darker gray outline of my canal with the slight bulge of my prostate about half-way toward my anal sphincter in the distance. Sound nuts? -- sure, the sun doesn't shine in there -- strictly a matter of converting sensory and tactile feelings into an imaginary 3D map of the region -- my own little CAT-Scan or MRI. Butt, what the devil -- It's fun to be rather anal and somewhat visual.)

Feeling-wise, my results aren't always 'perfect.' At it's best, the Aneros body, p-tab, rectum, anus, PC/perineum muscles, and prostate are just one 'blob.' No one part of that "pleasure unit" stands out unless I focus on it. (think of this as the 'glowing orb' that Alana describes on her CD#1)

Next I make the smallest of brief anal contractions to just barely 'tickle' the Aneros. Sometimes it works best near the end of an exhalation. Other times at the neutral point of an exhalation...after I've let go and just before the deliberate part of expelling the air. (Note Helixer's similarity of thought, with less attention to the nuts and bolts).

Right after that tiny contraction, I 'listen' for an echo (a very minor invountary.) The 'listening' is acute, capable of detecting an echo within just milliseconds of the contraction. (think something like 1/20 of a second) Then, do nothing for a couple of breaths. Then try another tiny contraction...etc.

After a few more breaths, I try a nip flick to see if it triggers an anal involuntary or perhaps a rectal pulse. After a few more breaths, it might be a toenail against the sole of the opposing foot. (cultivate and try all the various remote triggers you can find in this Forum.) If I'm unable to get an involuntary from my favorite remote trigger points, it's back to the tiny anal contractions in sync with my slow meditative breathing. Then, I repeat a half-dozen of the best different remote trigger points to confirm what's working best for this session. Nip flicks are always my best. Later in the session those will change from flicks to exquisite nudges and caresses.

At some point I hope for some warm engorgement of my GU components along with an arterial pulse in my abdominal aorta reaching into the arterial branches along my perineum. I may get a penile chubby--to ignore!

When to stop: If none of this is working, then it's a shot at some steady-state anals (Wiki style) before I throw in the sponge and towel on an orgasmic experience.

Not wanting to toss away the effort and time spent on a good prep, it's time to try some other routine or, just go for a half-hour of the "three-R's." (Raucous, Raunchy and Rapacious fun with the Aneros.) Or, perhaps do some therapy using the HIH massage routine. for therapy. (Step #6 in -- Prostate Massage Prostate Massager Prostatitis BPH Treatment Prostate Massage --)

I like to not confuse my brain between orgasmic ventures and 'dirty-fun' trips. If I'm doing massage or 3R's I swap to a tool I never use for orgasmic bliss.

As Tig Woods might say, "it's all good." Or, "life is like a box of chocolates....."

Don't sweat not batting a thousand. And, don't carve notches in the bedpost. 😀

@rook, Excellent post man! There are many levels to the relaxation scenario and you have pointed out the fallacy of thinking one is relaxed when in fact we really are only on the edge of full relaxation. Breathing fully, deeply and unforced is an excellent tool to get to the relaxed state of mind/body where you can listen to your body with heightened awareness. Thanks for providing another set of guidelines for newbies to try on their own unique journey. You might find this article on Deep Breathing Relaxation an excellent reference guide as well -Diaphragmatic Breathing

Good Vibes to You!

I also think Helixer's approach to 'trying not to interfere' works well for many guys. However, as a 'thinker' it failed with me and I needed the discipline of breathing and a very gentle but structured routine.

It's not TRYING not. Not interfering is the result of focussed intent. NOT Trying is relaxing, relaxation is a prerequisite for your body 'opening up' to pleasure. Listening to your body, having pleasure guide your focus.BEING PASSIVE is what it's all about.How can 'thinking' be helpful when focussing on feeling?Can you see the logic in that?

Great responses Rook and all, Dovetailing on what Helixer just mentioned, I referred to this as attentive passivity some years ago, I'll stick with that.

BF Mayfield

It's a Zen thing

Thanks for the replies. That gives me a lot to think about. I'm very happy with the progress I have made over the six weeks or so, from basically nothing to extremely satisfying, but I'm eager to keep going. I will see what I can do with my breathing and relaxation.

nice replies as ever Helixer im also new to this but im on this forum lots atm picking up tips 🙂 have been at it for a month. In a reply to Scott if your up for new ideas and experiences I would suggest purchasing that hypnaerosession 🙂 i found it hard to concentrate what with noises in the background and was hard to relax and let the pleasures take me over. Its really relaxes you and pushes u to think even more dirty plus her voice does help yah out is great I reached a new milestone with use of it this week I have had a few sessions now with p-waves. My first few weeks where pointless lol I didnt have the p-tab in the right spot roockie mistake lol i thought sweet spot meant where you feel the most pleasure when u first use it lol