A couple years, on and off, here is my story

I guess I lost my account somehow, so forgive that this is my first post on this account.

I didn't know what I was getting into at first. I just wanted to try prostate stimulation, and was looking for "clear" toys. I found the progasm and bought it. No idea what Aneros was about. I quickly learned it was the biggest in the lineup...gulp. But I made it through and found it interesting, and quickly got a smaller unit, but by then had gotten used to the progasm.

What I can tell you is that Aneros, and prostate massaging in general didn't really help with porn addiction. I know back when I was active, people were interested in it as a way to kickstart rewiring the brain. I will say it helped in getting off without porn as an aid to get aroused enough to get hard. But those two aspects of brain rewiring seem to not be connected.

I had some moments and began to notice my P spot vaguely, but due to life going nuts, dropped this activity as a hobby. Though I can say I would love to get the rolling orgasms still that are described. Almost desperate, and just remembered I have Aneros. It seems I didn't really lose any progress, not that I made any huge breakthroughs. But it was nice to know I could still sense the P spot a bit, though I'm still often unsure of if I'm actually hitting it. A big aspect is that yes, I can still, if on the right day, bring nipple touch into the mix to help try to kickstart some involuntary movements. In my original tries, I once got a few repeating involuntary muscle spams which I found exciting thanks to nipple stimulation, so I always try it until the tingling stops.

Still into the early days of getting back. I realize I can't seem to get benefit from an "every day" pattern sadly, as I want progress and practice, not that I want to force what can't be forced, I but its frustrating that I have to put about 3 days time between sessions for my sensitivity to enough that aneros will be effective.

Thinking of getting a third option, I think my smaller one is a helix. But I just can't be sure what would be a good choice to add if anyone thinks any option should be added. I just don't get much from the helix, and while I like progasm I just get a feeling like it is missing the mark with the top, as if it is too tall? But again, I don't have full awareness of my P spot, so its hard to tell.

Finally I guess I am concerned and curious. I always end my sessions with masturbation to ejaculation. But I don't know if I should leave it in, if that messes up the wiring, doesn't matter, or even helps maybe? I've even considered trying to maybe help the process by using it and just jumping into normal masturbation, or if that could set me back on my goal. I am going to try unless someone has evidence that it could be counterproductive.

Overall, I'm back in the scene again, just hoping to get there. I am not sexually active, but I do hope that I can get some really enjoyable solo experience, and that when the time comes, aneros will have helped me so that I can last a little longer in bed, and enjoy it a little more should it come.

Thanks for the many years of advice, stories and progress posts. They had helped me not lose hope and get frustrated back when I started, so I hope to keep seeing it from others here.