What is your best tip or technique for relaxing

Breathing for starters. Then its just being a sexy beast. Letting things in, trying different things and receptive to your body.

Breathing for starters. Then its just being a sexy beast.

I like your choice of words. Totally speaking to me.

Deleted by author

A while ago Clenchy set up a poll asking whether there was an interest in having a repository of techniques.
Hmm, I don't think it was me, but then I go on the internet drunk sometimes, so who really knows. :-/

The big one for me was trying to sleep with the aneros in, I couldn't get to sleep because every time I started to drift off, I'd get a rising rush that'd jolt me back awake. There was something in that level of relaxation. Maybe it was the mindset of not wanting to control anything, and having no expectations. Leaning on something we've already been practising for years.

Somewhat echoing Clenchy, I tried to get to a point where I felt like I could fall asleep when I first started out. That told me at least in some way I was pretty relaxed. I agree with the "not taking control" mindset as well. The only other thing besides the breathing that I would mention is how I've used the Peridise to start most of my sessions. I usually use the larger of the two-set and it does a couple things for me. I can still relax with it in. I don't feel it on my prostate unless I really try to engage the PC muscles. The general sense of pleasure from its contact with my anus helps in relaxing. I get a little (or sometimes a good amount) of arousal just by having it in and using slight muscles contractions as I see fit. As a result, things progress better once I put the Helix in.

Hopefully something we've suggested will help you get into a more relaxing mindset.

.

@ Clenchy You were not drunk

I might still have been drunk. 8->

#1 Technique - Letting go and enjoying my body and how it responds. Just drink in those great feeling and let them take you on a magical ride

Relaxation for me comes in the form of a Reverse Kegel... Just making sure there's no tension whatsoever down there and then pushing out, down, RKing, just a bit... That usually starts things up for me nicely!

I like very much HopefulMMOer's description of a Reverse Kegel because tonight I discovered that I can do this almost automatically.

Now relaxation for an Aneros session occurs for me through sexual arousal just thinking of the Aneros tools that I cleanse and relay out perhaps 30 minutes before a session. Recently I have discovered that having an A-less session serves as a foreplay before the real thing! Then I breathe slowly after insertion of each and then I'm in business!

But starting tonight I will incorporate Reverse Kegeling into any Kegels I'll do an A-less session and see what happens!

Thom./BigGlansDC

Guys,

I love this thread.


@hopefulMMer you beat me to the reverse kegels! they absolutely rock. here is a site that describes them:
http://www.pelvichealthsolutions.ca/for-the-patient/pelvic-floor-muscle-tightness/reverse-kegels1/


it is about inhaling deeply into your lowest parts while completely relaxing them and letting them expand. I like to think of my butt expanding sideways as i inhale. (don't force the breath, just let your tummy and pelvic floor expand on the inhale.)


the thing to keep in mind about reverse kegels is that they are the opposite of the usual male response to sexual pleasure which is to shallow breathe, hold breath and clench abs and pelvic floor.


instead give yourself over to the pleasure as you stay relaxed and do your deep diaphragmatic breathing. notice when you start to clench down there, even slightly, and un-clench. when you do, the waves will hit harder.


the relaxed pelvic floor is the ideal substrate for involuntaries.


here is another way to think about reverse kegels. relax like a woman does when she fully opens herself to copulation, and the pleasure she will let herself have. she deeply relaxes, opens up her vagina and just lets the man in, lets him give her pleasure. think about what a sex therapist might tell a woman who is too uptight to enjoy sex. she has to relax completely into it, just let go, don't tighten. breath deep and open as you inhale


in your case, completely open up. breath, relax, open, expand, let the pleasure enter, allow it to blossom as you open and relax.


another component of the relaxation is acceptance... of yourself. you, the very you, are allowed to have this pleasure, and it wants to be given to you.


i find when i do this, when i do it right, everything starts to take over automatically.


caution: don't expand by pushing out, only expand by relaxing as you breath.


the irony is that this approach is opposite the original aneros instructions of kick starting it by holding contractions. i think that method might be good in the early learning stages, to let your body know about involuntaries.


darwin

.

@hopefulMMOer

What is BGD ?

@Canacan - @BigGlansDC

Lol, thanks.
Wouldn't have guessed that one.

@HopefulMMOer, Dude you abbreviate too much! LOL Pretty soon your messages will look like something from a stenographer =))

Deleted by author

@AneRico

Thanks, interesting link !

It is a bit disappointing to me that they don't address all the muscles affected in the area and their relationships (letting you believe there is only one) but... this idea of stretching the pubic bone and tailbone apart... is totally new to me and find it great.

By the way... I am still struggling with this, and even more with Aneros than A-less (I suppose my old reflex hold on too much sensations will take more time to really get rid of... Especially approaching climax).

Here is the one tip that seem to help me most :
letting go to a virtual partner's penetration and pleasure in my non less virtual vagina and make sure to let happen a full vaginal orgasm (or Gspot... Not sure of the difference) instead on clenching on my partner's shaft... Does it make sense ? (I am not even gay LOL)
I takes a lot of imagination, imitation and mental focus to maintain the image and sensations... But it works wonders to relax the muscles when they are involuntarily holding an unstoppable clench.

When I try reverse Kegels, the Progasm pops out, even when I try alternating between regular and reverse; it's the one that I have the most trouble keeping in by not constantly using pulling in Kegels.

you may be pushing out too much, its strange more a complete relax than a pushing out movement

Yes, that is very important. A reverse kegel is not a push out.

Darwin