A bigger picture journey... Scares, thrills, questions, decisions... What a mess!

Congratulation, Canacan. Nothing to worry about it seems to me, only something to rejoice about. Also, if you hadn't said you are not a native speaker, i would have never known from your perfect English. I look forward to hearing more of your exciting journey.
Paul

@Canacan --- Based on your description, you're doing great and I don't detect anything unusual in your experiences! I also look forward to hearing more as you make progress! Enjoy!

TG

Thanks guys.

I guess I always was quite sensitive, but for a few days now I became overly sensitive, nearly all the time. Like I was in constant arousal. Tasting life, savouring it... But also having difficulty filtering these diverting sensations. Don't get me wrong, it is probably only a fraction of what others here get... But it is still amazing and also making me wary. How much of this would be normal and not deter from a healthy lifestyle ?

I feel like it is only the beginning of the journey but it is so thought provoking that I can't help but question myself about the consequences of the next step I can sense coming.

To be absolutely honest, this probably is not exactly the beginning, for I have been working many times on wiring or rewiring myself during my life. This probably is the case of everybody after all, but I have been doing it very actively and in full counciousness, one of the reasons being I both wanted it hard, thought it was possible, and had difficulty reaching my goals... So I gave it overly thinking, mental focusing and experimental dedication.

Just naming a few of the things I remember :
trying to immerse in foreign languages to the point of thinking and dreaming in it, relearning handwriting because my initial one was horrendous, learning to control my falling asleep ability (any time of the day and notably while suffering intense pain, nausea or quite common stress), trying to reach very high level in a racing video game (I was not gifted at all but was so crazy about it I had to do it... Was very demanding... Finally reached the desired level... Deep rewiring needed... major milestone in my life... Incidentally had to learn a lot on mental focus including what I later discovered to be self-hypnosis, which proved useful later on), reworking my winter sports skills from top to bottom to learn totally counter intuitive (but superior) ridestyle (which was the first extremely difficult rewiring because it involved fear induced reactions), this then lead me to learning a traditional Chinese martial art (which was much more subtle and demanding and not less counter intuitive), then bits and pieces of another and some yoga too... At some point I tried learning to sonar the walls in the dark with only the echo of my breath and whatever useful senses I may have (I succeeded to a low extent but still got enough success to realize this was possible... later learned that most blind-born-people have this ability pretty well developed)... And more...

The last minor partial rewiring i tried was learning to get an erection on demand, without physical or erotic stimulation, only commanding the right muscle and chemistry. I needed to try after I learned the exact process of blood filling the penis, holding the blood inside and releasing it. The thing I didn't know, and that actually went against all my intuitions, was there is supposed to be a strong clenching of a tiny muscle involved in NOT to fill the penis during regular times, and it is actually the release of this muscle that would give the erection, not a contraction of kegels as I always thought. In short, just somehow manage to relax this specific muscle and you get an erection right away. I can't remember how but this is probably part of what got me here. And of course it helped for the new journey (well somehow new, somehow not after all).

Re-reading what I wrote I hope I don't seem what I am not. I am no master at anything, I am not pretentious or proud in any way. I hope I don't seem too strange either.

Only am very curious and very passionate... and easily worked on.

Hi @Canacan,

It was a pleasure meeting you and conversing with you in Aneros Chat earlier this morning.

Take care,

Thom./BigGlansDC

Hi @Canacan,

It was a pleasure meeting you and conversing with you in Aneros Chat earlier this morning.

Take care,

Thom./BigGlansDC

Thank you !

I feel more relaxed now and less compelled to share whatever new discovery every day brings. I mostly leave the Helix in the drawer. It is a little overkill for me now and I also have two "fears" (not that I am really afraid, but cautious), namely to hurt myself from using it too much and get too addicted to ass penetration.

I have tons of pleasure though. It feels like re-discovering... or rather discovering (plain and simple) my own body. Every nerve, every sense seems to awaken from years of excessive control. I get delicious pleasure from mostly any part of my body, sometimes by light stimulation sometimes only by mental focus, most of which pleasure often builds up and expand to full body P Waves not unusually leading to irrepressible hilarity.

I don't know how I manage not to worry about it. Would I witness that from an external point of view I would have no doubt I am facing a lunatic. Plus the solitary aspect of it triggers the alarm "warning, socially unhealthy behavior in progress!". But still I am cool (and happy). Maybe what makes me so carefree anyway is the benefit I see on my mind. Because through this I get better at identifying what I feel, think and how I react and learn no to block my reactions or have excessive ones.

Things have finally calmed down... After 3 days of constant irrepressible P Waves, I finally can breath. I probably still get sensations, but so slight it is not too noticeable and not too invasive.

@Canancan. Great stories! You should start an Aneros Blog.

We're are sexual explorers here. Taken that next step and opened ourselves up to see what true sexual beings we are. You will definitely have to learn to relax and let your mind and body enjoy the pleasure instead of clenching up, just like how you learned to get erections on command. Happy Riding!

- V

You really are quite amazing. i am curious to know your nationality, your native language. I agree with Varmint, an Aneros Blog would be perhaps a better way to communicate all you have to share.

@Canancan. Great stories! You should start an Aneros Blog.

We're are sexual explorers here. Taken that next step and opened ourselves up to see what true sexual beings we are. You will definitely have to learn to relax and let your mind and body enjoy the pleasure instead of clenching up, just like how you learned to get erections on command. Happy Riding!

- V

Seems like I more or less figured how to relax the body... but there is more work on the mind.I think the catch is, quite often you are not relaxed and you can't seem to be able to realize it, except if somebody tells you you are... and even with that some people don't trust the informer. lol

You really are quite amazing. i am curious to know your nationality, your native language. I agree with Varmint, an Aneros Blog would be perhaps a better way to communicate all you have to share.

Thanks... but I don't want a blog and I think this thread is better suited for now... notably for communication... with time I hope I won't be the main participant anymore. lol

Witnessed a few conversations on the chat that got me wondering again about my sexual orientation. Some here (straight or bi) definitely seem more into men than I am. And I think I begin to better understand it by comparing with others.

I think, like most regular human beings I am bisexual by birth. Then comes 3 questions : who can I have pleasure with ? who am I into ? and what am I attracted to ?

- I can have pleasure with mostly anybody (after all the pleasure is in MY body, doesn't necessarily makes a difference who the other is... or be it a simple piece of plastic)... so I'd say physically bisexual. (or is it called pansexual?)

- I am into people I can deeply bond with. Very few actually. Mostly girls, rarely boys. Not necessarily want sex with either. Let's say romantically bisexual, largely on the into-girls-side of the spectrum.

- I am attracted to girls Big time. Straight male arousal-wise.

... But could be aroused by the taboo. Though if I was to have sex with a man I'd prefer to be a girl myself. Two men together don't excite me at all. That makes me ? straight bisexual ? But if i was a girl I'd appreciate the taboo of lesbian sex... and as a man I appreciate the taboo of gay sex... where the fuck does that leave me ? lol

Man, this thing is not simple. I was scared I could be gay. I am reassured... kind of... lol

Will post a redacted version of long talk on the chat... Please be patient. Wall of text coming.

Canacan, I call them "bringers of pleasure". For me I noticed them early in life and that has not changed. Even though I didn't acknowledge or act on it until I was 32 yo. I'm talking about boys and men in my case as bringers of pleasure. Sounds like girls and women are your bringers but you have an open mind to men perhaps. it's not as confusing for me as I haven't seen women as bringers in a sexual sense, just in a emotional sense. Men bring me pleasure sexually and emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. I've learned that I have to find my own bringers or they have to find me, no one else can tell me who they are.

Just saw your last post about your journey. You have good insight!

@euphemistic
Thanks !

Now there also is a thing I didn't mention... love.
Now that is a different story!

Monogamous, secretly sentimental and mostly empathic/intimate/complicit for me.

From the Chat today (redacted version) :

I didn't know you could join without registering... Wouldn't have registered if I though I could do without. The two hardest thing I did on the Internet : registering on ***** forum and registering on this one... You wouldn't believe the mental barriers I had to pass... Nearly had to do it eyes closed. lol
... and I already had bought a strapless strapon... Which was piece of cake in compared terms of mental barrier.

The reason was ... anonymity. I think sex should be hidden (as many other things). This is the kind of places I felt put a big label on your forehead... a label that you'd have a hard time making everybody feel mundane.

Aneros Helix since Wednesday past week. No more strapless using because we parted (and also I didn't keep the device). I am not too anxious (though I always tend to be hasty). I am having a blast. Rather, I am a little surprised (understatement) with what is happening to me and wondering if others had same experience... And know where to go from there.

After purchase, first 48h no success on hands-free O ... But tons of practice (like nearly non stop), sensations and tons of traditionals verging on super-T (or totally legit super T, don't know)... Then got weak to a point I thought I was dying. Well, not really, but I'd never felt this kind of weakness before, it was kind of like I had lost a lung (or I don't know what). Was in that near heart-stroke state for 12 or 20h... Then in the evening got back a lot of energy... Super boost. Probably just the time to reset after too many sessions.

From then on, I tried to limit my practice to a max of twice a day and an average of once a day. And to add to my diet I limited my sessions with Aneros to one per day with an average of one every 2 and a half day... Did Aneros-less the rest of the time. I was pretty sure my energy drain was from Aneros and also was scared to hurt myself... Anyway I felt more free and found it easier to experiment without. Also stopped feeling the need for porn or traditional penile masturbation.

Within 5 days I discovered some kind of switch button in my mind : while stroking the penis I could choose to direct the energy at penile-orgasm-building or at anal-orgasm-building (prostate or what I don't know)... The natural wiring being now to anal due to previous experiment (more on that if you ask). Actually, I figured the physical aspect afterward : it mostly depends on clenching or anti-clenching (I think it is what others here refer to as reversed kegels). For a moment I felt like a lunatic awaiting mental hospitalization. Got what I thought to be penile induced super Os (now know i was absolutely wrong)... Well at least one leaking O. Definitely got some super T... A few dry Os... And I think one Full Body Spasms O (almost epileptic like)...

...Then something happened... I began getting ghost sensations (like, all the time!)... and these often triggered P waves... Like one (more probably 3 or 4) could catch me anywhere and anytime. There was a point where I felt like I was refraining P waves all day in fear they take me over and start making me sessioning at unwanted times (and too many times). My energy was good though.... And never needed so little sleep by the way... Felt (and still feel) wonderful. Using as little Aneros as possible definitely seemed healthier.

This state of near constant arousal and always on the verge of riding (plus all the new experience and experiment) got me overly sensitive and aware (of my body but not only). So newly being overly sensitive I begin discovering tons of new erogenous zones and how to trigger them mentally or physically to ramp to strong P waves and the feeling of potential said-body-part-orgasm... Often associated with uncontrollable hilarity or full body spasming. This was so interesting I kept exploring all day in various situations the arousing and P waving potential of every inch of my body (both skin and internal)... To unbelievable success. i had the impression I had been locked in an overly clenched body all my life... Like in fear of sensations and was suddenly not afraid anymore and expressing my true sensitivity (there is a theory here: ... are all control freaks potential aneros-crazy?). This was fireworks!

Part of me was concerned if not scared, part of me was just feeling great... Mostly cool... But wondering if I should be. All in all it was mind blowing. And I was starting to see (or feel) the implications of it all. For the other physical things in my life (think martial arts for example) but also for body reading others and for finally learning to let go in the mind (which never was my forte) and have better reactions to life. It was like I had new powers and still getting stronger (I know I can relax even more... At least when facing the elusive O (buildup too strong to handle ending in fiasco) and also when impatient at slow beginnings)

Well, then, starting from yesterday evening, I'd say, I began not feeling much anymore and having extreme difficulties (if not totall impossibility) to reproduce some of the things I thought I mastered and wired the previous day... 12h ago my feet sole where orgasmic whenever I walk a specific way... Today nothing... I feel nothing it's like the nerves of my body have been muted to a minimum... I feel totally back to normal like two weeks ago... It is a little relaxing... But a little frustrating too... and disappointing, because I have Kung fu sessions coming tonight and sunday morning and I'd want to try some of the things I thought I found and that could have solved some long time problems I had faced in my training.

But suddenly while talking this all on the chat I find the answer... For there was so much happening in a so short period of time (I mentioned only 10%) that my body and mind simply need time to digest it before I can go on.

Well yeah obvious isn't it ? Funny how one can miss such elephants in the hallway when too much immersed in one's thoughts. lol

It sounds to me like a little space is needed between sessions for relaxation. The biggest key on the keyboard is the space bar.

It sounds to me like a little space is needed between sessions for relaxation. The biggest key on the keyboard is the space bar.

Sounds wise.

A few hours after the previous post I realized not only my new sensations where lost, but not only that. My sensations were so bad I couldn't even ride a bike properly anymore.

Instead of scaring me, it made perfectly clear all of this was normal and I had to pull back... which I did for some 24 hours. And then...

Canacan, I love reading your prose and sometimes my mind registers your writing as a pair of Mexican Jumping Beans. I envision all your words on a white ceramic platter, dancing, and I love it because you bring energy to the page and it keeps me on my toes. Also, I lean heavilly on your proposed new meaning of MMO, for I too find the merging of orgasms a better term that has merit for describing what is actually happening in the engine room. Keep sewing, this thread could one day make a bedspread.

?iç

@Vic Thank you, you touch me!

Now the famous chat session (after the disastrous last session mentioned earlier and after exactly 24 hours of full abstinence, no sex, no Aneros, no p-waves, no kegels, no erotic thoughts, nothing) :

euphemistic: hi canacan
euphemistic: ‹@Canacan› are you returning to "normal" ?
Canacan: ‹@euphemistic› define normal (lol)
euphemistic: (big smile) full libido with full sensations, etc
Canacan: ‹@euphemistic› well 2 weeks ago that was not normal... It has been normal only for a few days
Canacan: ‹@euphemistic› but... Yes, it seems to come back
euphemistic: the new normal
Canacan: ‹@euphemistic› I am super sensitive again... Even able to command tears while watching commercials (lol)
Canacan: But only 30% of my best so far
euphemistic: ‹@Canacan› are the commercials sad?
Canacan: Definitely can P wave in less than 5 seconds
euphemistic: good
euphemistic: I can't summon emotions that I'm not feeling but I can access them at any time
Canacan: ‹@euphemistic› it is much more important
euphemistic: yes
Canacan: ‹@euphemistic› my tears may no be from fabricated emotions
euphemistic: maybe from a association
euphemistic: I get that at odd times
Canacan: Watching one of these real TV musical show... Getting the chills from sound ... Getting the tears from expressed emotions
euphemistic: ‹@Canacan› (big smile) great
euphemistic: music reaches deep inside me sometimes
Canacan: Can you induce shivers on demand ? ... Maybe I should try
euphemistic: not on demand. If I'm afraid or remembering an old fear.
Canacan: After genital zone i am discovering a new power center in the chest
euphemistic: sometimes during my sessions I sob and shake, laugh andrage
euphemistic: ‹@Canacan› interesting
euphemistic: what's that like?
Canacan: ‹@euphemistic› totally understand that... I know the laughing already... And now the sobbing potential is appearing
Canacan: ‹@euphemistic› energy is emitted to all body and takes over the mind too, may start from pelvic zone and be highly sexual or from chest and be very emotional
euphemistic: ‹@Canacan› I've noticed that
Canacan: but wherever it starts it goes everywhere so I can have heat in pelvic zone by emotion in the chest
Canacan: ‹@euphemistic› at this very moment I seem to be more horny for feelings than for sex (lol)
euphemistic: does it feel really hot sometimes?
euphemistic: from your chest
Canacan: ‹@euphemistic› hot where ?
euphemistic: I noticed that a few weeks ago
euphemistic: hot waves radiating from my chest
Canacan: my ass and testicules tend to turn super hot
Canacan: ‹@euphemistic› not yet heat in the chest
euphemistic: so it feels like energy coming from your chest?
euphemistic: I didn't know what was happening
Canacan: ‹@euphemistic› it's just the beginning, an intuition and an urge... We'll see what happens
euphemistic: I thought it was some kind of orgasm in my chest
euphemistic: but I don't know
Canacan: ‹@euphemistic› it's exactly like a P wave in the chest (not super strong one but still, I recognize it)
euphemistic: yes
euphemistic: exactly
euphemistic: I haven't heard anyone else describe it
Canacan: makes me close my eyes (involuntarily) it is a sign for me
Guest1: ‹@euphemistic› heartgasm
euphemistic: ‹@Guest1› (big smile)
euphemistic: ‹@Guest1› that's one possibilitiy
Canacan: ‹@Guest1› not heart for me ... Rather chest/lung
Canacan: i'd be scared to play with the heart... Dangerous stuff... Wouldn't want to have cardiac problems
euphemistic: ‹@Guest1› have you been here before?
Guest1: ‹@euphemistic› Yes
Canacan: OMG
euphemistic: ‹@Guest1› I was thinking something like that .
euphemistic: I don't know much about it through
Canacan: induced something really strong just below sternum... I am all sweaty !
Canacan: WOW
Canacan: ‹@Guest1› what do you say of that ? You seem to be knowledgable on the subject
Canacan: i feel super good like after an orgasm
euphemistic: is that the solar plexus chakra?
Canacan: keeps feeling good
Canacan: ‹@euphemistic› possible... I was trying to induce the heat you described and also following the urge I described earlier
Guest1: Swadhisthana is the solar plexus chakra just below the heart chakra
Canacan: ‹@Guest1› that may be it... Wow
euphemistic: ‹@Canacan› are you still feeling it?
Canacan: ‹@euphemistic› same thing was the navel zone this time ... Less strong but I am still amazed
Canacan: ‹@euphemistic› it is fading very very slowly
euphemistic: this aneros thing continually surprises me
Canacan: man, I am a super rational and scientific guy... What is happening to me would have seemed like superstition a few days ago
euphemistic: hi rumel
Canacan: ‹@rumel› hey ! You are most welcome now
euphemistic: ‹@Canacan› I've had to adjust my thinking too
Canacan: I'm getting a new one !
rumel: Hi Guys, it looks like you're discussing the chakra system, it is an interesting concept.
euphemistic: ‹@rumel› I thought it was all bunk until recently
rumel: From what little I've read the chakra system needs to be awakened from the root chakra upward, it is the kundalini energy of life that gets released to activate all the higher chakras.
rumel: Aneros directly stimulates a mans root chakra igniting the process of kundalini awakening.
Canacan: MUCH STRONGER AND LONGER THIS TIME
cj187: Hi guys
Canacan: i need to laugh now
Canacan: something else building in the face
Canacan: sweating like hell
Canacan: ‹@cj187› hi !
Canacan: it was worth the 24h abstinence (lol)
cj187: You managed 24hrs?
Canacan: ‹@cj187› (lol) amazing isn't it ? (lol)
cj187: I've actually not ejaculated since tues maybe 21 days won't be too hard
rumel: ‹@Canacan› put your tongue to the roof of your mouth, create a very light suction to hold it in place, start some slow deep valley breathing and after a few minutes tell us how you feel then.
rumel: ‹@cj187› The first week is the hardest, it gets easier in time especially if you are still using your Aneros in sessions.
Canacan: ‹@rumel› WOOOOOOOOOW !
Canacan: ‹@rumel› (lol) (lol) (lol) (lol) (lol) (lol)
rumel: ‹@cj187› Your Anerosessions should get qualitatively better as you continue on.
Canacan: ‹@rumel› amazing !!!! I did not even fully do it... Too afraid
Canacan: ‹@rumel› super hilarity... got taken over by the most outrageous laughter... Had to lay down. Taken over
Canacan: ‹@rumel› now the energy seems to be in my forehead
Canacan: WOW
rumel: ‹@Canacan› What you felt is called completing the microcosmic orbit as you circulate your internal energy up and down the chakra chain, each cycle can build the energy if you stay focused on it. It can easily become orgasmic or it can heal if you direct it to an injury, advanced practioners can use this energy to heal others (this is the "laying on of hands" spoken of in the Bible) and is the basis of Reiki healing practice.
Canacan: ‹@rumel› is there an order ? I started in solar plexus, then navel, then solar plexus again, then face... Then forehead (but this one is still waiting for me to use it)
Canacan: what a ride !
euphemistic: ‹@Canacan› I'm glad we were here with you
Canacan: ‹@euphemistic› you helped actually
Canacan: ‹@euphemistic› thank you
euphemistic: ‹@Canacan› (big smile)
rumel: ‹@Canacan› It is my understanding for the most effective use of this energy that you use your mind to direct the energy flow up the spine from the root chakra to the crown chakra thence back down the front of your body touching all the chakras as it flows downward back to your root chakra to be circulated again and again.
Vic: User entered the chat room.
euphemistic: hi vic
Canacan: ‹@rumel› so you have to start with a super O ? Also didn't get the second part... How do you get down ?
Canacan: ‹@Vic› hello
Vic: HEY ALL!
Canacan: ‹@rumel› I am baffled ! I didn't believe in that stuff... And here I am now (lol)
Canacan: Feels great
rumel: ‹@Canacan› To be honest I've only been able to do this a couple of times and I don't try to practice it very often (though I should). No you don't have to start with a Super-O though I suppose that wouldn't hurt if you did. What do you mean by "How do you get down?"
Canacan: ‹@rumel› ok trying to figure what you wrote : I must start by the pelvic zone (isn't that the root chakra ?) then you boom the different chakras up one after the other, right ? ... Then you said you get the energy down... Does it mean you must do another series of boom on the same downward line finishing in the pelvic zone ? Or something else ?
Vic: WOW ! I just copied what Rumel instructed canacan Yes-You-Can, to do with tongue to roof exercise and almost found myself levitating. How insane!
Canacan: So much energy ! Feeling so good... I prefer that than Aneros session
euphemistic: WOW
Vic: YES .... I just did it, deviceless, with no intention of anything, nothing in my head, and POW ... up I shot to the moon and back, I had to STOP for fear of falling and not really knowing what I was in for.
rumel: ‹@Canacan› I'm not a fan of the term "boom" here, that sounds a bit too forceful, this should be a smooth energy flow, I don't think the speed of the flow matters as much as it be smooth and continuous.
euphemistic: ‹@Vic› have you done that before?
Canacan: ‹@rumel› I said boom because not sure you call it an orgasm... Well it seems like one to me (though I am pretty sure it can be stronger)
Vic: ‹@euphemistic› NEVER, not once ... never heard of it, its just that I tuned in, scrolled up the page, read what rumel wrote and dove in myself. It was so swift and powerful.
euphemistic: amazing
Vic: I can't wait to do this exercise mid-session, my spine chills at the mere thought of it all.
rumel: ‹@Canacan› Think of your body somewhat like a generator, a battery, a capacitor, tied into the electrical grid of your body, each chakra can act as a transformer adding a little boost to the current on each cycle at some point you will have built up a lot of energy, how you use that energy is up to you.
Vic: ‹@euphemistic› Have you?
euphemistic: ‹@Vic› what? done this?
euphemistic: yeah. that breathing exercise in my blog seems similar to this
euphemistic: when I do it, I can accumulate energy as heat in my chest
Vic: ‹@euphemistic› I haven't read it, but I will.
rumel: Guys, I think you should be aware that most people don't get this whole energy/chakra concept because, first, they haven't been exposed to it, second, their belief systems may not allow for it, third, even if they have been exposed they haven't tried to awaken their kundalini energy yet. Aneros users, knowingly or not, are activiely stimulating their root chakra and awakening this kundalini energy.
euphemistic: ‹@rumel› this is news to me
euphemistic: I've been trying to figure out what was going on
euphemistic: that breathing exercise was a accident
euphemistic: but it worked
Canacan: ‹@rumel› to be honest i still don't understand it... but I just lived it and loved it... so no choice but to get interested and "believing"
Canacan: really this all doesn't speak to me at all.... only I recognize the description of the things i experienced... it will take time for me to make sense of the rest
rumel: ‹@euphemistic› I think you have allowed your own inner wisdom to guide you and best of all you are listening to it!
Canacan: lots of love to you guys
Canacan: this is amazing
euphemistic: ‹@Canacan› do you feel love?
Canacan: ‹@euphemistic› yes... now yes
Canacan: ‹@euphemistic› thank you... your journey ignited mine...
Vic: ‹@rumel› Yes, personally, I have not sought out any information on this, but through my use of Aneros it has occurred to me that this is tapping into mystic energy that was otherwise foreign to me pre Aneros. And now I'm enjoying new ground.
rumel: ‹@Canacan› I don't think you need to understand it on a conscious level to make use of the energy your body is creating. I hope you learn to use that energy wisely and lovingly.
Canacan: ‹@rumel› the energy is there alright... wow
euphemistic: a couple of us fell in love a little while ago after my heart opened. anerico talks about this too
Canacan: to all, bbl ... take care guys !

Reading through that, was like reliving the whole experience again. Since yesterday's new discovery via our resident research extraordinaire, Rumel, I have broadened my sessions ten-fold. Visualizing the individual steps, block by block up the spinal column has heightened my glorious sessions, awaking atrophied nerves that have laid dormant in a vortex of fear, nerves that have not surfaced since my teen years. Thank you again Rumel, it was most generous of you to share and clearly, I was destined to log in when I did.

?iç

Haven't been posting much for some time. A lot happened but I could not make much sense of it or didn't feel confident to tell it here. I also ended up doing less an less sessions.

Somehow my initial burst and quick progresses let place to some mild disapointment and a welcomed refocus on more urgent matters in daily life. All in all I got reassured what happened to me happened to many others, didn't end in constant frenzy and found it's place in a new (and not so new) slowly building harmony.

What I find good and interesting in that journey is that it forces and helps me to resolve long time issues of patience, eagerness, lack of attention to the situations in and out of me, and of being somehow forceful... Things I would partly realize but never knew how to work on. Well, it seems like my prostate for one wouldn't take a make believe or a jest for the real listenning, letting go and following the flow.

Had to come here to proclaim it out loud : @rumel is my hero!
Look up this link he gave earlier on the chat: http://goo.gl/aqo1JA (Learning Center of the Society for Sacred Sexuality - thread: Male/Female Androgyny)
(one of the best link i have ever been given)
(The site as a whole is a bit repetitive to read as some informations are hammered again and again... But it makes it that you can read any subject without previous understanding and still make sense of it)

I figured part of what they say on my own... But they add details to it and figured ways to exploit it I only ever dreamed of... I was destined to come to this site... Better late than never... Thank you @rumel, thank you thank you, thank you so much!

Also it may explain some of my craziest sensations and intuitions (and claims)... I do indeed have the nerves, muscles and organs that explain it all it seems.
I am so much in line with this site's ideas and goals, I might as well drop a lot of the rest... Aneros is a tool and amazing training wheels for me, but not the goal. I'll probably end up droping anal at some point.

But for now this gives me renewed enthusiam to train in aneros journey... Onward general !

interesting website. Some of the detailed illustrations explain why men have a seam on their balls. I always wondered why that was.

I got a few useful cues from this documentary (sorry only in french) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nP2raNvupkE
This is about Paul Ekman's work on facial expressions and how they relate with emotions.
http://www.paulekman.com/books/

Huge work. Great insight.

I am also reading Mentak Chia's Multi-Orgasmic Male... Which I find interesting, enjoyable and well written (apart from the many typos).

I guess this will be more informative for english readers than the previous links :
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Ekman