spinal cord damage and Aneros?

Hi nurselady,

Welcome to the Forum,

There have been a couple of threads that have discussed the use of the Aneros massagers with paralyzed individuals. One such thread was Paraplegic Male - Is an Orgasm possible?. There were two posts by member ’Jeff E’, one also had a reply by member ’jap’ both of these men suffered from spinal cord injuries.

Though spinal cord injuries generally also impact the pudendal nerves serving the genitalia, it turns out there is another nerve network, the Vagus nerve that bypasses the spinal cord and ties in directly to the brain. It appears some sexual sensations are still possible if this alternate nerve pathway is not also damaged as it extends down to the colon.

You might also try emailing @aneros.com">support@aneros.com or [email protected] (High Island Health is the Aneros parent company) to ask the company what informantion they have on paraplegics' use of these devices. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help to you obtaining information.

Rumel, thanks for your reply. My reason for finally taking a step and posting a question to the forum was based on a couple that are neighbors. This man is a paraplegic. He evidently has some ability to have limited sensations. He is able to control his sphincter muscles. I am not sure if it is a vagal nerve stimulation that is present? However, in order for him to obtain an erection, his physician has "prescribed" a hard plastic type item that is to be inserted rectally and in essence this is forcefully moved back and forth until this man can achieve an erection. It is extremely painful, it takes a long time, to achieve the needed effect. (no duh?) It is traumatic for both parties. Him as it is very painful. There has been times he has been left with a rectal bleed! His wife would rather not be the one to stimulate her partner in this manner. However, she has desires and in order for them to have sex this is the only option they were given or were knowledgeable of at the current time.
I posted to see if there were others that had perhaps used the Aneros product and perhaps were able to offer some assistance. Thanks again for your personal reply. I know this is a man's site... but, you made me feel welcomed. Thank you.

nurselady,

Please understand this site is for the benefit of both men and women, all are welcome.

It seems to me something is severely amiss here, extreme pain and rectal bleeding sounds more like a BDSM game gone terribly wrong than an attempt at a normal coital relationship. I would suggest they discuss other alternatives with a qualified sex therapist who has familiarity with dealing with individuals with physical disabilities. I have no doubt “It is traumatic for both parties.”

Perhaps a little searching for members of AASECT (American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists) in your area may provide some needed options.

Nurselady,

Yes, all ladies are welcome here...particularly "nurse ladies"! If your neighbor still has voluntary control of his sphincter there's a good chance that he will be able to provide the "power" needed to drive the Aneros. Whether he has sufficient nerve conduction left to perceive sensation from it is another thing. In the case of individuals experiencing paralysis much of this depends on the location on the damage along the spine, and even then, each situation must be examined on a case by case basis. So where one person may have some sensation another may not. As Rumel correctly pointed out, occasionally the Vagus nerve can pick up the slack. If your neighbor was still able to have an erection, (albeit in an unorthodox manner) there would seem to be some activity left in the cavernous nerve and perhaps pudendal nerve as well.

Just to be clear, the Aneros does not provide a vigorous prostate massage as you've described. Frankly, it's hard for me to understand how this kind of brutal technique could work at all....pain generally extinguishes sexual arousal for most folks. A physician prescribed this? Strange. It's possible that what's needed here is a hammer....not a club. It may be that a gentler approach yields similar results without the discomfort and damage that he's suffered in the past. I think that it's at least worth a try. It's conceivable that what is required is not a high intensity massage at all, but a coordinated more focused approach that involves simultaneous stimulation of the prostate, anus and perineal acupressure spot. This is the concept behind the Aneros.

With respect to the choice of Aneros model, this depends on his ability to accommodate the insertion. A lot of this also depends on his level of sphincter control and muscle tone. In general, I like to suggest that all users (with the exception of the anal vets) start small and work their way up. That said, the fact that he may have issues with being able to perceive sensation in this area may make a larger more aggressive unit advisable. On the other end the spectrum, it's is possible that prostate stimulation is not required at all. The Peridise units can produce some marvelous sensations of an anal kind that can also lead to some very powerful orgasms!

To know how he should be "outfitted" I think one would have to know what his level of sensory perception is in these areas. It would seem to me that a little exploration with an understanding partner is order. I'd suggest that she start with some perineal stimulation...small gentle probing circles with a finger tip a half inch to an inch up from his anus. Have him communicate what he's feeling at all times! Understand that it is not necessary to have erotic or arousing sensations from this stimulation, ...just tell him to report ANYTHING that he feels, good, bad, indifferent or no sensation at all. Next have her work into some gentle anal stimulation, massaging the external orifice at first. Have her note any responses that she observes from this (contractions, involuntary or involuntary). Communication will be essential here.

Now have her insert a finger into his anal canal and have him make a series of contractions, gentle, moderate and hard (high intensity) and making note of what she observes. (This process will provide a more accurate picture of his level of sphincter control and muscles tone.) Lastly, with a well lubricated middle finger (or combination of two fingers) have her search for and gently palpate his prostate. This is accomplished by inserting the finger(s) all the way inside and then curling them upwards towards his navel in a come hither like motion. (For easier access, you may want to have him lay on his side with knees brought forward toward his chest). Have her move with small circular strokes on one lobe and then the other, making certain to check with him at all times. The intensity of the massage should then be slowly increased (establishing 3 levels) and the results noted.

This might seem like a lot to go through, but the fact is that a lot of information might be gained from this that could determine the suitability of the Aneros for this man. In addition to that...it just might be fun for them both! At the very least it would be a welcome change from the kind of "treatment" that this area has been given in the past.

Again, it's necessary to know some basic information before considering which model to buy.

One last thing, I would strongly urge him to check into KSMO as well. If you look to Rumel's comments you'll find some links to the KSMO site. KSMO is alternative means of generating sensual pleasure, and one that is commonly used as a companion to the Aneros.

Cheers,

BF Mayfield

Thanks for the posts. I will be more than pleased to share your ideas with both of them. To the questions? Was this prescribed by a physician? Yes, at a rehab hospital for head injury/spinal cord patients. This has been their life for almost the last 4 years. It seriously has become a major issue for both of them in attempting some normalcy to their sex life. (Being a nurse - people will share ANYTHING with you.) lol Rumel, I agree.. there is serious brutality in the method and as I mentioned it is traumatic for both parties.
They seem to have a very supportive relationship with each other. I believe many people are not comfortable or knowledgeable of how to learn more about their sexuality or the means to grow and learn. I certainly will share all of your knowledge and ideas.
Aneros assuredly is a safer way for pleasure than what this man has been experiencing. I am just thinking there may be some kudos coming your way! Thanks guys.

rumel and BF Mayfield, congratulations on the information you have given nurselady.

That poor bloke, I can almost feel the pain myself just thinking about it.

I’m sure your information and guidance will be of great benefit to them and just hope nurselady keeps us informed of their progress. Feel sure there will be plenty of compassionate interest in this incredible couple in their quest for pleasure and enjoyment, which ALL people are entitled to. Good luck to them.

And what a nice person nurselady is. Congratulations to you also nurselady - talk about neighbourly love.

Morning report.... (I feel like I'm at work)...I headed out with my pooches for that early morning walk and ran into the neighbors.. His wife came over and read your posts. I cannot tell you how touching your comments meant to her. The fact is how stressful this is on a marriage and the hopes of some type of normalcy is immense. My home is not handicapped accessible.. and so she printed off your replies to take home to her husband. Not long after, I rec'd the most heartfelt thanks to the Aneros group.
I had went over ideas such as the assistance of Viagra and other meds that may be of assistance as well. However, I'm not as knowledgeable of many of the facts as BF Mayfield. I am a registered nurse, but this is a field outside of my expertise. Your comments and ideas I was told would be put to good use TODAY. As I'm sitting here typing, I am imagining them in exploration two houses down! As you mentioned the brutality of this Mr. Mayfield... they are now looking for other options for them possibly including some type of electrical stimulation that I offered as an idea as well. They have hopes that his quality of life may improve. Without a doubt, I know they are in search of an Aneros product.
Rumel, they are also looking at the sites you provided. However, we live in a more rural part of Missouri... and I'm not certain there is a lot to offer in the Ozarks. Of course, perhaps they may glean information from them as well.
Again, this couple expresses their thanks to each of you for support, referrals and understanding.

Nurselady

Hello nurselady, 😀

I am extremely touched by the good and loving work you put into helping your neighbors with such a sensitive issue. You've set a fine example for humanity. Who says Angels are immaterial? Much like you have done, we can all do the work of Angels by helping people around us, and thus making the world a better place.

Love is Peace

That's a lot what nurses do... most are caring educated individuals. I could offer only so much assistance! I just knew of this site and thought why not ask? I'm not sure I'd consider myself an angel. It was difficult for me to understand this couple's plight as a younger couple in their thirties. However, thanks for the compliment!

Nurselady-

It is posts like this that I really enjoy the most on the aneros forum. The love and compassion you have shown your neighbors is a wonderful thing.
If you are seeking out electrical stimulation you should look into the Slightest Touch http://www.slightesttouch.com . Also check out B Mayfeild's post on slightest touch titled "I SING THE BODY ELECTRIC..."
http://www.aneros.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=767&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=15

Morning report.... (I feel like I'm at work)...I headed out with my pooches for that early morning walk and ran into the neighbors.. His wife came over and read your posts. I cannot tell you how touching your comments meant to her. The fact is how stressful this is on a marriage and the hopes of some type of normalcy is immense. My home is not handicapped accessible.. and so she printed off your replies to take home to her husband. Not long after, I rec'd the most heartfelt thanks to the Aneros group.
I had went over ideas such as the assistance of Viagra and other meds that may be of assistance as well. However, I'm not as knowledgeable of many of the facts as BF Mayfield. I am a registered nurse, but this is a field outside of my expertise. Your comments and ideas I was told would be put to good use TODAY. As I'm sitting here typing, I am imagining them in exploration two houses down! As you mentioned the brutality of this Mr. Mayfield... they are now looking for other options for them possibly including some type of electrical stimulation that I offered as an idea as well. They have hopes that his quality of life may improve. Without a doubt, I know they are in search of an Aneros product.
Rumel, they are also looking at the sites you provided. However, we live in a more rural part of Missouri... and I'm not certain there is a lot to offer in the Ozarks. Of course, perhaps they may glean information from them as well.
Again, this couple expresses their thanks to each of you for support, referrals and understanding.

Nurselady

Upon arriving home tonight I rec'd a visit from my neighbor, Doug. He stated he and his wife had a most amazing weekend. They were particularly grateful for the responses from other people in the forum. Brian Mayfield's step by step guide, was a winner! It allowed them to experience a closeness and sensitivity that they were not able to do in the past. They have purchased an Aneros product!
The KSMO site was well received as well.
As a nurse and advocate... I have offered them a few other resource sites. The Christopher Reeves Foundation and to get a second opinion from another physician. Their past physician I feel well... is nuts. The weekend they seemed to have was promising for both husband and wife. There was none of the trauma or pain that they have experienced in the past. They took my advice and called their doctor however, for meds!
So, with combined with medications, and other alternative methods... they have high hopes for a possible more normal marriage and sex life.
I knew I came to the right place for help for this couple. Thanks again!
Nurselady

That is wonderful news nurselady, sounds like they are on the right track thanks to you!
Please keep us updated. 😀

Nurselady,

What terrific news! I'm so glad to hear that your friends have decided to do some sensual exploration. I'm guessing that they'll a great time of it! If there is any other help that we can be of in here, don't hesitate to ask.

Cheers,

BF Mayfield

I was told to ask if there were further questions... So, here goes.. for a beginner this man has used the MGX model. I know the website says that it is good for most beginners... what has been the opinion of most men out there?
Did anyone start out with a larger model and/or have they had problems? (I'm wondering if he may need a larger model?)
Women? Here's a question for you. In speaking for the wife... she's just not sure she's really finding his prostate. I have described it to her. This man is in his thirties and so it may not be as enlarged as older men. As a nurse myself, I can state I've done DRE's as needed during medical exams and cannot "feel around" while in my professional nurse occupation.
My soon to be ex (hopefully soon) totally shunned any type of anal type experience... so I am of little assistance to this couple.
Again, thanks everyone...
Nurselady

Hello nurselady, 🙂

My feeling is that if he is not experienced in anal play, then it is really best to start out with the smaller models. The MGX falls in that category. This is what I did starting with the Helix, then MGX, then Progasm. As it stands now, the Progasm still is my favorite. But if I had started with that model, I'm not sure I would have continued practicing, as it probably would have been very difficult to insert comfortably. As knowing how to relax your anal muscles during insertion and the session is really important for a toy this size.

From what I've read on the forum here. Everybody tends to have different favorite models. Which can be because of where you are at in your Aneros experience and journey. But also because of slight anatomical differences between men.

Here's a link that is relevant to your question.
http://www.aneros.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1803

For me the MGX model was the next step in my progression on this journey after the Helix. I went back and forth between the two for a while, until I bought the Progasm. And like I said earlier, the Progasm is mostly what I use now. With a little bit of experimentation with the Peridise here and there.

Love_is

Nurselady,

First I must say how lucky these folks are to have you as a neighbor. I know that the desire to help people is one of demand characteristics of your profession, but it's pretty clear that you go above and beyond.

With regard to which Aneros model would work best for your neighbor, just reading between the lines here it seems that there is some question whether he is being sufficiently stimulated with the Aneros (or by hand), is that correct? As a general rule I like to encourage people to stay with one model for a period of time to allow the body to become accustomed to it. Very often it takes time for this kind of sensation to develop. Remember, it start very subtly and builds from there. The only thing that concerns me a bit is that this gentlemen may experience less sensation to begin with due to his condition. It is possible that he may require a greater level of stimulation for him to perceive any sensation.

If this is so, one of the models with a slightly more aggressive design might be in order. On his wife administering prostate massage, it is possible that her fingers are not long enough to engage his prostate, but then again she may be missing it as well. Here's a technique described by sex educator Christine Fawley:

For comfort and quick hygiene, wear a nitrile or vinyl disposable glove on the hand(s) that will be touching the anus. Using a water-based lubricant, stimulate the outside of the anus, relaxing the sphincters and stimulating the highly concentrated nerve endings. Try circular strokes and smooth glides with one or two fingers. Experiment with speed- slower touch often feels more pleasurable!

Begin the massage with very light pressure, and communicate with your partner. If there is any tenderness or pain, reduce pressure or stop the massage. If the pressure you are using feels good, continue the massage. You can increase pressure gradually, always communicating with your partner about what feels most pleasurable.

With respect to your situation with your "soon to be ex husband", you sound like a very caring and open person. Hopefully you'll find someone to share this experience with in the future yourself!

BF Mayfield

Brian, thanks for the reply and information. You were correct in your ability to "read between the lines." I believe the reason he started out with the model was the site stated it was often used by beginners? I too believed he may need a larger prototype model. Therefore, I wondered what all of you men were using. His circumstance may be a bit different, but perhaps not? He stated that he did get some "flutters" from usage.
I thought great! Flutters is a far cry from the masochistic instrument they used in the beginning and totally pain free!
As for your explicit directions on prostate stimulation... I'm sure they shall be put to use in the near future! There certainly must be a level of trust and intimacy to provide for one's partner. Thanks again.
Nurselady

Hi Everyone!
Update time. In the last few weeks the neighbor folks have been busy with their Aneros products. Happily they report some success.
They have followed up with a dr. in St. Louis associated with Washington University and Barnes Jewish Hospitals and were very pleased that he has offered them a totally different outlook on their sex life.
Coupled with the Aneros, medication and a different approach they have been able to experience some romantic memorable moments. For the first time in years, he has been able to experience an ejaculation without the trauma of his past experiences.
This is a far cry from the earlier posts at the beginning of this thread.
So, all your advice and wisdom have been put to use.
Thanks guys.
Nurselady

nurselady,

That is wonderful news that they are now getting to experience a richer life together. You are to be commended for making the effort to seek better information, options and resources for this couple, I am very happy that members of this Forum were able to contribute a little to making their life more rewarding. Bless you for your care and concern.