Men and women are different

Hi Zane,

This is an amazing post . . . I loved it!

I feel privileged to read of your sexual Journey and of reaching the orgasmic heights you now enjoy!

I actually had a chair-Orgasm reading it! LOL! Thanks, I needed that!

Being done by a woman with a strap-on is very exciting to me, although it will probably never
actually happen! I know that for me to allow myself to be THAT intimate with a woman, I would have
to be involved enough with her to have a warm fondness and some real trust!

I was very intrigued to hear your results upon using the Aneros hypnosis session! I was very pleased
to be involved in that project and to pour in some of my own feelings and ideas! Please keep us
posted on your progress with these sessions . . .

I, for one, would love to read more about your orgasm experiences and your personal victories!
(I know I, for one, have my own personal mental, spiritual and physical demons to overcome!)

Stay in your Groove, Zane!

Later, Hlaser99

Hello again zaneblue,

I really enjoyed reading your post also.
It's really nice, and informative to hear a woman's honest perspective on her own sexuality.
You sound like a rare gem!

I think it would be great if we had more women actively posting here at this forum. I find it interesting to hear womens understanding and interpretation of a subject matter. Because they often see it in a different way then men do.

Keep on posting here zane!

Peace 🙂

Zaneblue,

First, let me thank you for sharing such intimate information for our edification. Second, thanks for being curious enough about the male psyche to purchase and listen to the “HypnAerosession” recording. As the author of that script, I can say it was directly aimed at the male psyche, as I understand it to be, through my own consciousness. I do find it interesting to hear your reaction to it. The fact you didn’t have an orgasm as a result of listening does not surprise me. I do find fascinating that you became aroused, “I was turned on, I was very very wet.”, I am curious as to why?
You said “…the sensations from a clitoral orgasm correspond to a traditional penile orgasm (although non-ejaculatory) and the sensations of a vaginal orgasm correspond to a Super-O,” I take your meaning of ‘Super-O’ here to be a prostate based one. If that is the case, I can concur with that analogy but I don’t really follow your meaning with the end of that sentence when you said “…the mental path to getting to both places is switched in men and women.” I believe there is a fundamental difference here between men and women concerning the physiological and psychological factors leading to orgasms. The fact that a male’s ejaculation is a separate event to his orgasm is borne out from the relative easy manner in which an ejaculation can be induced by simple prostate massage (e.g. a doctor performing a massage to obtain sperm sample in a clinical setting). I am not aware of a female correlation to this physiological event. There does seem to be a good deal of correlation between a woman’s psychological allowance for her to experience orgasm and a man’s psychological allowance for him to reach the Super-O, in this respect the orgasms obtained via the penetrative acts involved is an interesting unifying phenomena.

You said - “When women watch porn we don't pay much attention to faces.” OK, now here’s the money question : 😆 What do you pay attention to when watching porn? 🙄

Zane,

As one of the collaborators on the HypnAerosession CD I too am delighted to hear that you got something out of it, even if it’s only as a tool for greater personal awareness. And I agree with much of what Rumel has written. With respect to having clitoral vs. vaginal orgasms through the use of the CD, you made clear later in your post how a lot of this for you has to do with how you identify and connect with specific erotic stimuli. I’m still curious what your response would have been to source material that was more gender compatible.

I will say that my own tendency to have one type of orgasm over another isn’t determined so much by the type of erotic stimuli (whether I'm stimulating my penis or my prostate or engaged with partner) as it is by choice of the kind of experience that I want. At this point, I can take either path although my preference is generally a multitude of Super O’s vs. one or two traditional (ejaculatory) orgasms. The decision for me is usually whether I’m going to follow the Super O’s with a traditional at all.

In terms of finding a partner with like desire, it seems logical that you would be best suited to a man who had a desire for Super O’s, not ejaculations. As you alluded to in your comments, your vaginal orgasms are likely homologous to Super O's, so it only stands to reason that you would find greater fulfillment in this way. Specifically, it would call for someone who not only enjoys pegging, but is also Super Orgasmic from it. (As you know, many guys are not orgasmic from this activity, for them it’s often more about the dominant-submissive role-play).

With respect to ones feelings and emotions and their impact on the type of orgasm that results from feeling connected vs. not, again, for me I would still say that it is a matter of choice. I would admit, that the Super O requires a certain amount of letting go and that having the kind of abandon that accompanies having strong feelings for someone is more facilitative of the Super O. But choice is still there.

You are certainly correct that most men express their desire as a function of ejaculatory orgasms. But I would submit this is because most men have not discovered non-ejaculatory orgasms! I believe that when a man experiences the Super O and develops a high degree of proficiency in generating them, that it allows him an alternate course of sexual fulfillment. In essence, a larger sexual palette emerges.

With respect to how men view porn, I would disagree that most men are fixated on women’s faces. To the contrary, the preponderance of men’s magazines and adult videos would attest otherwise. The focus of all of this material is on female genitalia. Close-ups to the point of being gynecological! Indeed, there are websites that are devoted to utilizing endoscopy of women’s vaginas and rectums. While a woman’s face undoubtedly plays an essential role in male arousal, a large part of it is about identifying the woman with her lower extremities. With men, the exposure of the erogenous zone trumps all! For men, a woman’s body is a mysterious and magical place. And by the way, I'm not knocking it.....it's the way that I am as well.

With regard to women, although I can't speak for them, I’m surprised by your assertion that they don’t look at faces. Certainly most are not genital obsessed the way that men are. I believe there’s a fair amount of data out there to back that up.

Cheers,

BF Mayfield

Hi Zane,
A very good post indeed!! It is good to see your perspective and your travels through you own sexuality, and findings.
I too wish, or would hope that other wonderful ladies like yourself were more willing to share there experiences. This is truly how men and women learn to communicate properly with each another, and know what each other really wants, or needs!

Sex is to beautiful to go through life with the same old day to day activities without going to a higher place of orgasmic bliss to truly enjoy what we have been given!

Thanks... 😀

I have noticed that when I am having a really good session, my body's reactions are very similar to what my wife goes through when I am orally stimulating her clit and digitally stimulate her G-spot

I'm such a sexual outlier that I need to give more background, otherwise the thrust of my post gets lost.

I too have very easy "chair orgasms." I can orgasm at will, any time, pretty much, within a few seconds. Before listening to the hypnosis session I was in a sexual mood, that's why I downloaded it. I went into hypnotic trance. I am very easily hypnotized, to the point I sometimes even go under during hypnosis scenes in movies, so it wasn't surprising that I went under like that. I held in my mind that when she said "cock" I would think "clit" when she said "prostate" I would think "G-spot" and when she said "asshole" I would think "vagina." I think I was successful in that. I didn't have a clitoral orgasm, because of course she said not to touch my "cock." 😆 I was actually shocked afterwards that I didn't have a single vaginal orgasm during the session, because I can have them so very very easily. I had a great clitoral orgasm after the session was over, and I was dripping wet, much wetter than I usually get during masturbation. It was ridiculous. And my nipples were very responsive.

In other words, if there were a hypnotic session like that geared to make women have clitoral orgasms, it would have been very effective on me. But I'm pretty sure that even if the language had been female-appropriate, a session like that would not make me more vaginally orgasmic. In other words, being in a hypnotic trance makes it less likely for me to be vaginally orgasmic.

And I think the opposite is true for men. Obviously being in a hypnotic trance is conducive for prostate orgasms, that's why the session was created. And although I'm sure that hypnotic trance might be helpful to undo blockages if say a man is sexually repressed, I surmise that the typical male would find a run-of-the-mill porn video more conducive to the traditional male orgasm than a hypnosis session.

In other words, I don't have to get into a special mental state to have vaginal orgasms. They are utterly reliable, and when I have them I think of my partner, it's very basic. Clitoral orgasms I do need to get into a special mental state and also fantasize. They are more difficult.

That's the first thing I was trying to say. The second thing was that on the one hand vaginal orgasms are so mentally prosaic, yet over time I have realized that while on the one hand I can have them emotionally detached, I can also be so emotionally engaged, more so than when I have clitoral orgasms. The more I love a man, the stronger and faster I have vaginal orgasms. Clitoral orgasms I have to have absolute trust in the man to even try for one, but having one doesn't give that blending of energies.

I'm not explaining myself well, but I know what I know. 😆

To follow up on the comments posted above--experiments have shown that when watching porn, women's eyes focus on the genitalia and men's focus keeps switching back and forth from genitalia to the women's faces. Personally my favorite porn is extreme closeup jack-off videos of men. On the other hand, I know I'm extreme. Women's porn taste usually runs to heavily situational, like an erotic story brought to life. They like to have a sense of the relationship, power dynamic, etc.

My best partner would be a man who loves to have intercourse. I need it every day. I know at my age it would be unreasonable to expect a man to orgasm every day, but I would be depressed if he only ejaculated once a week or something because I'm obsessed with cum. I also would be hugely disappointed if a man was unable or not open to Super-O experimentation. I know how good it feels and I would want my partner to experience the same pleasure I do.

But I'm big on ejaculating! 😀

I should say women in general do not look at men's crotches. Frankly men do look at men's crotches an awful lot, must be a male dominance thing. Women don't. But when they watch porn they do.

As for ejaculation separate from orgasm being different in men and women, there I cannot say. I've never tried to "milk" myself. Of course I can have G-spot orgasms without ejaculating.

Women who have become vaginally orgasmic on my diet generally find reaching vaginal orgasms to be much faster and easier than reaching clitoral orgasms. The process for gaining the ability takes a long time, but once the ability is reached, it's a simple, dependable thing.

Zane,

Thanks for the clarification, I think I have a better understanding of how this works for you now. I also appreciate your sharing this information with us all. No question, you have had your own wondrous journey!

On your last point regarding women and ejaculation (a response to something that Rumel had written), I would like to add that I have corresponded with two women in the past who claimed to have had G-spot/ejaculatory orgasms that were indeed able to "milk" themselves without experiencing orgasm. In both cases there had been prior arousal that caused engorgement of the paraurethral glands sufficient to produce a fair amount of fluid. While I wouldn't attempt to make anything of this in a more general sense, it at least proves that it is possible.

BF Mayfield

Hi zaneblue,

No offense, but you sound like a horny and perverted mans dream come true.

Oh wait...
That's all the straight/bi guys here in this forum! 😆

All joking aside, I have a few questions.

Did I understand correctly what you wrote, that a G-spot orgasm, and a vaginal orgasm, are not the same thing?
I personally had never heard of a vaginal orgasm until I started reading your posts here and at your forum. If they are indeed different, how would you describe and compare the sensations between a clitoral, G-spot, and vaginal orgasm?
Thanks. 🙂

Hello again,

I just had some more thoughts and questions to add to the mix.
It's a recipe right? LOL
Bake at 350F degrees until you're HOT! 😉

Now I don't normally ask women this who I don't know extremely well but...
Zaneblue, have you tried anal play before? If so, did you find any pleasure from it?

I ask because I recall an ex-girlfriend of mine saying that when we had anal sex, that she would get the most amazing orgasms while rubbing her clitoris. More so than just rubbing her clitoris alone, or with vaginal sex.

What has been your own personal experience, and/or observations of other women concerning anal play/sex?

Thanks, for being so open minded and good natured about this kind of talk. 🙂

Actually there is good physical evidence to support Zaneblue’s conclusion that in men the clitoris moves to the penis and the G-spot responsible for her vaginal orgasm’s moves to our prostate. Many organs with “separate” purposes in the sexes migrate, morph and change size depending upon the sex of the person involved. (During fetal growth of course.)

I wonder though if the prostate is actually the G-spot or merely the region that holds our G-spot? I don’t know that it makes a whole lot of difference or that we will ever find out, but it seems to have captured my curiosity.

Jefftech

Even though the subject of your post is that men and women are different, I find that after some thought, perhaps we are not as different as one might expect. Consider the following.

You speak of clitoral orgasms as equating to male penile orgasms and I think you are entirely correct. But what triggers a male penile orgasm? Direct stimulation of an external point on the body. Your clitoris is directly in the same position as the male penis. It even resides on the exterior of your body. (Not entirely of course but might as well be external.) For many women, rubbing of the clitoris produces an orgasm, just as in men.

Now consider your G-spot. It is internal to you and requires an inserted massage in order to produce an orgasm. Well is the same not true of the male G-spot? Do we not require an inserted massage to obtain the same type of orgasm?

And once a person passes a certain point, realizes a certain level of awareness, one may have a G-spot orgasm identical to the ones you describe as vaginal orgasms. You may have them whenever you wish by controlled thought. Having a male insert his penis inside you triggers this response automatically. Is the same not true of males and our Aneros? With thought, can we not have the same types of pleasure and upon insertion of our Aneros, do things not happen automatically?

In a nutshell, external parts of both of our bodies require external stimulation. Internal parts of both of our bodies require a rhythmic, massage like stimulation unlocked by the insertion of an object. Be that a penis in your case or an Aneros in mine. Once this area is unlocked though, insertion of an object is no longer required, be the person a male or a female.

I think what you have described required a good deal of insight. Perhaps my small contribution will help to further clarify both of our understandings.

Sincerely,

Jefftech

I wonder though if the prostate is actually the G-spot or merely the region that holds our G-spot? I don’t know that it makes a whole lot of difference or that we will ever find out, but it seems to have captured my curiosity.

Jefftech

Regarding your question about the nature of the male G-spot and the prostate, the male G-spot itself is more specifically a plexus of nerves that reside in and around the prostate. But for all practical purposes it's impossible to separate the nerves from the gland. For this reason you'll often hear people refer to the prostate as the Male G-spot.

BF Mayfield

There is no doubt in my mind that the sensations of G-spot orgasm correspond almost exactly to Super-O and that clitoral and traditional male orgasm also have similar sensations, except for the ejaculation part. We've discussed this in other threads enough to sufficiently convince me.

What is surprising to me is that mentally I am now convinced they are different.

VERY interesting, B. Mayfield, so women can be milked too!

I take it up the ass like a pornstar. 😆 But those special feelings men feel from anal, women feel from regular sex. Anal is a fun extra. I'm anally orgasmic, that's not saying much, I can orgasm from kissing. I particularly like anal and vaginal stimulation at the same time. I think for women it's like when men have nipple stimulation along with regular stimulation--it adds extra oomph.

G-spot orgasms are a type of vaginal orgasm. There's also the cul de sac orgasm that's a vaginal orgasm. Not sure if men can have the equivalent of those.

Hey zaneblue,

Thanks for the informative reply.
And also for making me chuckle! 😯

I take it up the ass like a pornstar.

I'm guessing you didn't talk that way on Rachael Ray's show. LOL
Is she as hot in person as she is in my dreams? 😀
And are you sure you're not trolling the Aneros forums for a new man with that kind of talk? LMAO

I think for women it's like when men have nipple stimulation along with regular stimulation--it adds extra oomph.

I understand what you are saying. Although I've never been sensitive in my nipples. It's like the old saying that a man only has one erogenous zone, his penis. LOL Although for myself, since I've been starting to have results with the Aneros, I'm certainly finding that old saying to be false.

Thanks for the clarification of orgasm types. I had never heard of a cul-de sac orgasm until reading your post. I searched the term and read a little more about it and realized that I had had one ex-girlfriend that must have been having those. She would get on top facing me, sitting completely down on my cock, and grind back and forth, having amazing orgasms. To me it felt like this hard nodule, which I assume was her cervix, was rubbing back and forth across the head of my penis. Not particularly pleasurable for me. But fun and enjoyable to watch her orgasm. She also liked me to slam as hard as possible into her in other positions. Which seems to reinforce my theory. At the time it made absolutely no sense to me as all the other women I've had sex with before her, found it painful to be poked in or around their cervix. And it's not like I've got a 14" cock. From what I understand, I'm rather average in that department. Go figure.

Anyways...neat subject. Thanks for speaking your mind.

I didn't talk to Rachael Ray outside of the filming of the show itself, although all her people are very nice.

I'm not trying to be flirty, I'm just trying to be honest.

Hiya zaneblue,

I didn't talk to Rachael Ray outside of the filming of the show itself, although all her people are very nice.
I'm not trying to be flirty, I'm just trying to be honest.

Yikes! 😳 This was an obvious misunderstanding of intention. I was trying to be humorous, not accusing.
I apologize if I offended you. I very much appreciate your honesty in these discussions, as I'm sure a lot of other people here do also.

I guess that is a limitation of using the written word to communicate between people. You don't get all of the other visual and audible cues that help you to understand the intention and attitude of the person. Once again, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding.

You didn't offend me. 🙂 I've just been in the public eye a lot lately talking about sex, I've found it works out better if I'm very clear about where I stand. I've ended up inadvertently hurting some men. 😳

So I have a question. Obviously a woman the way I am does very well during monkeysex, the in-and-out, straightforward intercourse. And the traditional male orgasm also fits well with that.

Would the reverse be true? I'm thinking if the same groove fits for men and women with Super-O's and clitoral orgasms, it would work well for couples to have them together. Would it enhance the use of the Aneros to also be giving oral sex at the same time, or would that be a major distraction, keeping a man from relaxing?

Hi Zaneblue,

What a wonderful post! It's great to hear a ladies honest perspective on things and you sound hot 😀

As for the the use of the Aneros being enhanced through oral sex either giving or receiving then I think personally it would. I find giving oral sex to a women hugely enjoyable and very exciting so I know it would enhance my pleasure with the Aneros. If receiving oral sex I think it would also be great as the pulses and contractions being sent through the penis would spark the anal contractions with the aneros especially when cumming!

Hi zaneblue,

Cool, glad to hear you weren't offended. I try to err on the side of caution with these sort of things. {edit} But I'm not perfect by any means, and obviously I didn't do so well that time.

Monkeysex???
I've never heard the term used to apply to regular sex before. I must not be in touch with the new lingo these days. But I'll take your word for it. 😀

Would it enhance the use of the Aneros to also be giving oral sex at the same time, or would that be a major distraction, keeping a man from relaxing?

Disclaimer: I'm not an advanced Aneros user... yet. Meaning I haven't reached the heights of super-O's, only mini-O's. And I'm also single at the moment, and have never tried the using the Aneros with a woman. So my answer may not reflect what a typical advanced user who has used it in a couples environment will think. But I'm gonna give it a shot based on what I have experienced so far. I suspect that it depends entirely on how well the male is able to keep the Aneros going on autopilot without having to concentrate explicitly on relaxing and the feelings it is generating. I've noticed that sometimes reading some porn helps enhance the experience, and other times closing my eyes and concentrating on the feelings with no other distractions enhances the experience. Perhaps as an Aneros user gets more experienced, and is able to have super-O's with very little effort and concentration involved, other activities such as giving oral sex could be added in without disrupting, or distracting him from the pleasure he is receiving from the Aneros.

The only major problem I can foresee, is what happens when the mans face/nose/mouth/teeth start slamming into the womans vagina as his body convulses from mini or super-O's? That could be a major hindrance for the woman depending on how rough she likes it. I haven't yet found myself able to completely relax my body so as not to convulse when I experience mini-O's. So I don't know if it can be learned to not do so. Anyone?

In general, I'm incredibly turned on by giving a woman oral sex. Assuming she is enjoying what I am doing, and even better if I can make her orgasm. I find that giving pleasure during sex, is pleasurable for me. Although in a different way than receiving pleasure. I hope to someday have the opportunity to try the scenario you have asked about. 😀

I guess that's not much of an answer for you. More speculation than anything else. But I know that there are many advanced Aneros users here that have used it with their partners. And I'm sure that they will be happy to answer your question.

Just as a side note for chuckles...

After watching part of the 2001 re-make of "Planet of the Apes" last night, I find it lends a whole new meaning to the term monkeysex!
😆

Guys,

This may be a bit off topic but, FYI, I just saw an episode of KATIE MORGAN’S SEX TIPS 2 : QUESTIONS, ANYONE? on HBO which has a short segment with ‘zaneblue’ included within it. It airs all this month (Dec. 17,20,23 & 28 and VOD)

Don't know if this is quite on topic, but yes men and women ARE different, doesn't take Einstein to figure that one out....millions of years of evolution and feminism can't change that one.....and even if we'd match sexually it doesn't change a thing....but that's part of the attraction and the repulsion, so be it!

I think I have to side with JeffTech in terms of the topic of this thread.
Although men and women may appear quite different, the biology all starts off the same, and merely specialises due to the influence of homones.
My partner is a Female to Male Transsexual (FTM) and in the 10 months that he's been taking Testosterone the clitoris has grown into an almost perfectly shaped little penis. The only real difference now is the size, the lack of a urethra running through the middle of it, and the fact that it isn't sealed along the bottom side.

So I have a question. Obviously a woman the way I am does very well during monkeysex, the in-and-out, straightforward intercourse. And the traditional male orgasm also fits well with that.

Would the reverse be true? I'm thinking if the same groove fits for men and women with Super-O's and clitoral orgasms, it would work well for couples to have them together. Would it enhance the use of the Aneros to also be giving oral sex at the same time, or would that be a major distraction, keeping a man from relaxing?

I believe that's an advanced level of performance. I have had some sex with a female partner with the Peridise in. Because of it's small size it is more conducive to joint sex with a partner. I think I may have done the Aneros once. I have a tendency to ejaculate easily anyway - particularly at first. After I've cum once I then can go on for some time. Basically for me at least using the Aneros with additional stimulation (intercourse or oral) mostly speeds up ejaculation or minimal keeps it the same amount of time. When I cum with the thing in me it does a pretty good job of evacuating my fluids and wearing me out. I've recently had a thread on 'male clitoral orgasms' where I have found a technique which allows stimulation of the penis head and producing 'clitoral' type orgasms but with no associated ejaculations. It's my belief you could likely stimulate / lick this part of a man's penis with Aneros, or Peridise inserted and he wouldn't immediately ejaculate. Actually you could probably indefinitely make him orgasm with increasing intensity. That would be cool. Other than that I think use of the Aneros (probably best would be Peridise) in extended, advanced partner sex would be in Tantric style positions such as yamyub or whatever it's called. That's just my take, but I believe most guys on here will agree that you ejaculate quicker and more forcefully while having intercourse and oral sex with the Aneros in. The ejaculations are usually what slow guys down from longer orgasmic sessions. I used to be able to ejaculate 7 times in a session with a lady but those days are gone as I get older. 😥

I would think best approaches for you with a man...(of course you need to find a MMO guy first that is likely into Tantra or advanced sexual techniques...or at least loves to experiment and learn) - would be to start with a possible Tantric position or warmup, kissing, foreplay - perhaps he gives you oral stimulation with Peridise or Aneros inserted. You give him oral sex just stimulating the non ejaculatory part of his penis head. Continue similar play and joint vaginal / super O orgasms together or side by side, and eventually culminate in intercourse (all types anal / vaginal) until you both are cumming / ejaculating and are worn out. 😀

No, I think I'd like regular sex separate. I think it would be interesting for men who are trying for Super-O's and avoiding traditional orgasm altogether to be in that same relaxed state that is conducive for women's clitoral orgasms, that's why I was wondering if giving leisurely oral sex would be a distraction from the Super-O