Can't Understand Real Non-Sexual Person

Boy you really hit a nerve with this. Since starting Aneros about five months ago, my sex drive has been in high gear. Prior to that, I was still working so (except for starting our family) our sex life was sparse to say the least. My wife recently almost always rejects my advances and it is extremely frustrating. I know she can climax since I initiated several times recently. But like you I am mystified that women's sex drive is not the same as for us men. Perhaps it is a physical thing after all. Since trying 'semen retention' a few weeks ago, my longest stint was about 10 days. Let me tell you those last few days were beyond stimulating. Periodic sexual release for us guys is, I know, a necessity. If we don't we will have wet dreams to insure that we do.

Since women don't have to worry about all of this (I believe) they really don't have to climax? Maybe I'm thinking too logically on this, but what other reason would they have? I can't believe that sex doesn't feel as good for them as it does for us. So what is the hang-up? Especially with one's legal sexual mate! I believe she can sense my frustration at times and gives-in to sex. But it could be much more of a turn-on if she was the one to initiate once in a while. I'm trying to break-her down but as I said initially, it is extremely frustrating trying to break through the rejection. I'm open to any suggestions at this point. Ladies, what do you have to say?

just a suggestion how about spending one night pleasuring her whatever she wants don't know many women who mind a GOOD tongue lashing

Hi @happyhole ! Trust me, I would spend every night pleasuring her if she would let me, even if it meant no sex for me. You are right, a good tongue lashing (not the yelling type) is great and she used to love it but she feels obligated to return the favor and that's where the problem is. She is just not a sexual person. It's not to deprive me, she just does not like sex at all. I learned to live with it and now Aneros is filling that void in my life.

Male chastity (semen retention) has changed my life and made my vanilla wife without much interest in sex and much more aggressive, not a wild sex kitten but she is so much more into it than before.

Read http://www.chastityforums.com and be inspired by denial. It is simply amazing and I wish I had started it at 25.

@mobilesub can you expand a little on this topic? I don't understand the logic of chastity and it's benefits. In that forum, I have not seen a description of what it's about. What made your wife more aggresive?

I'm always open to learn new things about the male sex drive.

Make it into what works for you but simply, men are selfish when they have had an orgasm and giving when they haven't. By giving your SO the power to decide when you orgasm and simply tease you the rest of the time, the outcome is remarkable.

Whether you wear a cage or not is up to you but the symbolism is powerful.

Read this and see if it gives you some immediate insight
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Like-Chastity-Play/430495

Read it; I'm not knocking it but it's not for me or my wife. To each is own I guess.

Cheers

Just read this thread again. Let me chime in as well. Since embarking on semen retention, I have found that the focus of attention has shifted from my wife saying "NO!" to me (and my body) saying "NO!" There is a huge difference. For me, waiting to ejaculate (or not) is entirely up to me unless my wife wants to initiate something. This is an interesting turn of events. I am not purposely ignoring my wife but I think she would really like some bed-action! Maybe this is a way to get her to initiate! I can wait! Intriguing!

Let's get try something.
Actually, two things. First, start waking up fifteen minutes earlier each morning. Very gently ease her awake, and whisper nice things to her about how today's going to be such a nice day, and how pretty she is. Very important. If she's smiling, and in a good mood, proceed. If not, go shower, that's that. If she wakes up in "a mood," you don't want to force anything more on her, meaning, you'll not want her memory banks to correlate what's coming next with you insisting that she does things with you even though she's in a bad mood. When they're in a bad mood, run! Seriously. Come back around when she's not in a bad mood. Never let her program you and a bad mood together in her mind... Nonetheless, if she's in a good mood, let her know that you both should connect as it will give both great energy that will last throughout the day. Almost "bulletproofing" you both from the bad in the world while apart during the day.
This is easy if you both sleep naked. But If she wears pajamas, slide them off of her, put her legs over top of yours, put your right leg (if you're laying on your left side, for example), over her left leg, and this should have you both in a "scissor position." Make sure her head is on a pillow, you have a pillow, and keep her covered with a blanket so she doesn't feel insecure from the bright morning sun glaring in on her, and the fact that she just woke up, and may feel "yucky," even though she's far from yucky. Remind her that you're not intending to gratify yourself, and only wish to connect. Wet hand with saliva (lube is fine if kept right beside the bed, but make it fast, don't let time lag searching around. For this, saliva is just fine.) work glans up against her vulva, and very slowly (I mean slowly!), push penis in as far as it will comfortably go. This is NOT meant for orgasmic anything, nor any stroking, moaning, or anything else. While the penis is pushed in as far as possible, both gaze eyes, and place hand on her heart Chakra (middle of chest.) At first, she won't know what to do, so put her hand over top of yours as it rests gently on her fourth Chakra. Gaze eyes while very gently talking nice things to each other. Every few minutes, pump PC muscles, and have her do the same. This will help keep you erect, and does feel good as it's an "interaction" between you both. Do not worry if you can't maintain an erection during this. Being rock hard for this isn't necessary, and again, orgasmic response isn't why this is done. Sure, if you both wish to have intercourse directly after, that's great as well, but should NOT be a goal. Again, this is to connect to each other's hearts while using sex organs.
After fiteeen minutes, very slowly ease your penis out of her, kiss her, and hit the shower. She will SEE the fact that you stuck with your word about only wanting to connect; she'll feel a very nice energy, and will be more open to sexual contact with you going forward. Do this for a week straight. Guarantee this will become something she looks forward to!

Sedond thing is is to have her get a complete female and male (yes, male), hormone blood panel done. If she's lower than normal on testosterone, or progesterone, you literally won't believe the difference it will make if she's given the right amount of replacement hormone to get her numbers back in line with where they should be.

After a few weeks of the above, she'll be much more open to the idea of sex with you.

@devildog great suggestions but after being maried for 39 years, if I tried any of them, she would think I smoked something or drank way too much. Sometimes, I would rather let nature take its course whatever it may be. Welcome on board!

No worries at all GGringo. I can imagine most women would wonder what's going on if you just started doing this. But at the same time, it would be a spontaneous thing to do, and I can imagine she would like the results. You could copy and paste what I typed, and lay in bed and let her read that. I'm sure she would see that it's not some self gratification sort of thing. Also, I'm glad you brought up age via years married. This is meant for any age to do. I have known some older males who will do this by simply pushing the head of their penis inside, and letting that be that. An erection doesn't have to occur for this to be effective. I'm 44, and will lose my erection about half the time while connected. Is perfectly ok. The most important part is doing this daily, erection or no erection, and without regard to age. You should talk to her, and try this. Guarantee you'll both feel a youthful energy from it, and that's extremely healthy. Last, congratulations on 39 years! That is almost unheard of in the broken relationship mess we have these days. Sounds like you've been done many things right along the way! Congrats!

Sometimes wives confess when they have too much wine, or tequila or ... but for at least some women, love is based on an established relationship while lust is sparked by something new. Men crave frequency, women variety. For some women variety also makes an escape from kids, mini-vans, mortgages, their husband is just too associated with their life, which may be good, but not exciting. Thus the intoxicated wife who stated I want a husband to love, build a home, family and life til death do us part. And, a boyfriend who I can cast aside when I want but who will make my sparks fly.

http://www.wikihow.com/Understand-Asexual-People

Most of us men spent our teen years pursuing as much sex of any kind as we could have. Teen girls were taught to try to avoid as much as they could. I think the girls were taught to avoid pleasure as much as possible and, when they experience great pleasure, they think it's wrong. OK, just my two cents worth! LOL!

Read Married Man's Sex Life Primer by Athol Kay.
women do want sex. And their bodies do respond to stimulus, but their mind doesnt comprehend the body response most of the time. Their body respond to dopamine surges which are triggered by loss of control, or the enticement of variety. Their pussies can be wet and their brain can be turned off thus not getting the benefit of the stimulus.
we ask if they want to have sex, their bodies may respond with wetness, and their brain is asking, do i want sex? Why?
but trigger the dopamine, and make yourself the cause of the release, their body and brain say. I want sex with him!
then feed their bodies all your semen which gets absorbed through their walls, gives them dopa, serotonin, testosterone and dna which brings your mark to their bodies and increases the desire for more of you.
increase your relationship value, increase her dopamine, watch you get more sex.

tried it, tested it, continuing to find it all true.

but trigger the dopamine, and make yourself the cause of the release, their body and brain say. I want sex with him!.

Thanks @yankeecowboy but how have you achieved the trigger?

... when they experience great pleasure, they think it's wrong.

Nothing to laugh about, this mirrors exactly how she behaves.
Thanks, @devildog, for your guidance. What do you recommend, if she rates ANY penetration as painful since her later twenties? We both since then live sexless in a cuddling and kissing relationship and both are meanwhile in our mid fifties.
Mart

As stated. Read MMSLP by Athol Kay