A Wife's Perspective

I can only hope to find a woman that is open like you to share this intense experience with.
After months of trying, thinking it would never happen, that it was all myth...it finally happend by using a device similar to the Aneros with a 4 speed vibration, on the lowest setting, just enough to tickle the insides, I laid there and forgot about everything. After an hour I began to just relax and enjoy the sensations coming from my rectum. Then after another 20 minutes, I began having small spasms in my legs and body that would shoot and stop intstantly. Then after another 10 minutes, my body began to shake and stop, like shivers without being cold. Then another 5 minutes and I felt like my body was building up for some kind of release, then BAM! My whole body started spasming and shaking violently. I spasmed for about 1 minute, then it subsided. Then it started again more intensely, then stopped. Then started and built up again for the most intense shaking. It lasted about 10 minutes and then I just masturbated until ejaculation with the body spasms. It took a lot of patience, but I just watched TV lying there. The second hour I bent my legs the way most people seem to suggest, which helps the process for some reason. Knees up about 1-2 feet apart, feet farther apart flat on the bed. I am writing this 15 minutes after it happened because I have been experimenting with this and researching this for a long time...while reading this website. Like everyone else who has experienced this says, you have to not try, and just be there relaxing and enjoying the sensations of the stimulation, eventually it will happen. Took me about 2 hours, but I just did it watching a movie. When it started to build, I knew I had reached the ultimate goal, and shut off the TV to be in darkness and silence for this experience. WOW! I wonder if the Aneros can do that as intensely as the vibrator did. GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL!

Hi,
I've been married to Sam for 13 years now. I am in my forties and he in his fifties. He introduced me to anal stimulation way back when and I've loved it and reciprocated. He fingers me and I finger him and it really adds to the sexual sensations. We've had anal sex several times but I wouldnt say it is a staple in our sex life. Last summer I "surprised" him with a strap-on and made love to him and he Loved it. But, as much as we enjoyed it, I am reluctant to do it again (dunno why?) So now I'm looking for something different. Today I think I found it. I went to the "naughty store" and picked him up the Aneros. He is out of town until Sunday, but I've spoken to him and told him how excited I am for him to try his new toy, but he does not know what it is yet. But just the thought of it SO turns me on! I liked what another post-er said about just lying there with him having the Aneros inserted while his partner kisses him and fondles him and watches his pleasure while he orgasms is SO exciting to me. I cannot wait for Sam (and I) to experience this toy! I'll let you know how it turns out. Just the thought of him using it alone, with me, while we're making love or while I am just watching him is such a T-U-R-N O-N! I'll keep you posted.

(this post was edited 2006-05-26 18:55:16)

Originally Posted By: Susan
Hi,
I've been married to Sam for 13 years now. I am in my forties and he in his fifties. He introduced me to anal stimulation way back when and I've loved it and reciprocated. He fingers me and I finger him and it really adds to the sexual sensations. We've had anal sex several times but I wouldnt say it is a staple in our sex life. Last summer I "surprised" him with a strap-on and made love to him and he Loved it. But, as much as we enjoyed it, I am reluctant to do it again (dunno why?) So now I'm looking for something different. Today I think I found it. I went to the "naughty store" and picked him up the Aneros. He is out of town until Sunday, but I've spoken to him and told him how excited I am for him to try his new toy, but he does not know what it is yet. But just the thought of it SO turns me on! I liked what another post-er said about just lying there with him having the Aneros inserted while his partner kisses him and fondles him and watches his pleasure while he orgasms is SO exciting to me. I cannot wait for Sam (and I) to experience this toy! I'll let you know how it turns out. Just the thought of him using it alone, with me, while we're making love or while I am just watching him is such a T-U-R-N O-N! I'll keep you posted.

Brava Susan!

Sam's one lucky guy indeed having YOU and the Aneros awaiting his return!

Remember to take it slow and easy allowing him to become accustomed to this kind of stimulation gradually. As contrasted with modest digital penetration, the Aneros affords direct prostate stimulation. If you have some time up front, have him check out the forum to give him an overview. I've authored several threads which he might find useful; "B's Keys to the Backdoor to Ecstasy", and "B's Best of BEE LINE".

If you decide to forge ahead without the background, try using "hands off" techniques first , avoiding contact with his penis entirely. Instead, arouse him in every other possible way, stroking him, carressing him, nibbling his nipples, encouraging him to make subtle gentle anal contractions while you do so. Have him start with contractions of 5 second durations with several seconds in between and build from there. He should avoid "hammering" himself with contractions, rather make them a natural extension of his arousal. Consider it almost like a "sexual respiration" of sorts... building sensations in this new way.

Remember, arousal is the key to higher states of prostate pleasure, so work with all of his senses, sight....masturbate close to him ...let him SEE your vagina, sound let him HEAR your pleasure, smell be close enough that he can even SMELL your vagina. This stimuli in concert with other attention to him can be VERY powerful! Later you might even let him FEEL and TASTE you too!

For instance, since you yourself are familiar with anal stimulation, you might have him insert a finger inside your anus so he can feel YOUR contractions and vice versa... (this can be very arousing). I once had a session myself where I inserted my finger inside my partner's anus while I held her hand (her other hand was gently pinching my nipples). When I contracted I would give her hand a gentle squeeze and shortly thereafter I would feel her anus contract on my finger. It was fantastic.....so exciting, for us both. She finally began stroking herself and we both were catapulted into blissful orgasms....mmmmm.

It's all dynamite! And the Aneros is the detonator for one explosive orgasmic experience.

Explore and enjoy!

BF Mayfield

it is good to hear that at least some women are understanding. i do not have an aneros, but i do still stimulate. i recentley told my fiance [a woman] about it and she has been uncomfortable on the subject since. i am hoping that some day whe will understand. i keep trying to explain why, but she changes the subject. i am completely heterosexual, i am in fact more heterosexual than her, but she is still......wierded out by it.

Originally Posted By: B Mayfield
Jane,

At the outset, I just wanted to say how terrific it is to hear from the other side. Given what you’ve posted thus far, it’s clear that you’re a terrific lady and that your husband is one lucky guy! It’s so refreshing to find a woman who has the kind of clarity that you do about erotic pleasures. The stigma that’s been attached to anal play has intimidated far too many heterosexual men. I would like to believe that your comments represent a glimmer of hope that things might be changing in this regard.

With respect to a couples forum, I know that there was a Sticky thread at the top of the forum for some time entitled the Woman’s Perspective. Unfortunately, it didn’t go too far. Timing is everything of course, and perhaps now is a good time to examine it once more. (With your help and Zane Blue's (another female contributor) to start us off).

As a side note, I’m in development of my own website now which will address (in part) the couples perspective with the Super Orgasm, (with several forums). I’ve stumbled upon several ideas that you will undoubtedly both find useful. Stay tuned.

Again, thanks for your input and please keep us abreast of the fun with Pete and Jane 🙂

BF Mayfield

I agree with you Mayfield.
I don't understand why so many women have so many hangups about sex, oral sex, butt etc. Personally i would love to sit down with a glass of wine, music, dim lights and WATCH as a guy stimulates himself (yes even anal) in any which way he wishes.
SOOOO totally erotic for me. I have yet to see a man "convulse" from orgasms--perhaps because i haven't tried the aneros yet but i will after reading all this.
My only problem will be the temptation to give him oral "stimulation" at same time. From what i've been reading about aneros its supposed to be a "dry" experience. Perhaps i can give him oral after he orgasms with the aneros.
Any advice?
Jackie

Hi Jackie,

If I can add my 2 cents in here for the cause, I would think that your oral contribution AFTER a bit of writhing would be an incredible addition to the session. I dont believe that it is just women that can be hung up on this kind of activity, it crosses both sexes. Sometimes you just have to shake your head.

Have fun with it and keep us posted.

Buster

Jackie,

The Super O experience is itself, as you say, a dry experience, however it does not altogether preclude your involvement. Although some intial solo time is advised, a somewhat more passive role of ramping up your partner's arousal can be VERY helpful. This can be achieved through orally stimulating his nipples or his testicles, carressing his body, erotic talk, and visually stimulating him (masturbating in front of him...preferably VERY closely). Just about anything is that increases his arousal is helpful EXCEPT for any penile stimulation. Penile stimulation of any sort will extinguish the non-ejaculatory orgasm so stay away from it. It's a VERY intersting exercise for the both of you really....use all of his senses....feeling, sight, sound and smell... to excite him. During this time, he will use his anal contractions and breathing to channel this stimuli to his prostate. In this way he will generate and build an orgasm deep within his body. The only limitation is that you must allow him to experience this without the need to reciprocate with you.....(at least while you're engaging in Super O exploration). Let him know that the focus is on HIM during this time (if not verbally in your actions). Not that you shouldn't enjoy yourself either....as a matter of fact bringing yourself to orgasm, can be satisfying for him, it just that he will not be able to service you during this time.

Apart from the Super O, it's possible for you to use the Aneros straight out of the box to magnify more traditional activities as well. If the goal IS ejacualation....try oral-genital contact while he has the Aneros inserted. The same goes for intercourse,....given that his anus and prostate will be gently massaged simultaneously with these activities you can expect a much more intense AND productive ejaculation!

Enjoy!

BF Mayfield

Originally Posted By: jane
Hi All,

I hope those of you who have persuaded your wives/partners to see your view are having as much fun as Pete and I have had with the Aneros. I sked my best girlfriends (14 in total)what they would do if their husbands had a medical problem that required their assistance. All said they'd help. Then I asked what if it was their prostate. Some knew what that was - a surprising number didn't and a couple went quietly pink. When we talked about the prostate there was a mix of comments, but over three quarters of my friends said that they'd still want to help if it meant their husbands stayed healthier - we're all 40s and 50s so in that stage where worries set in. I then gave a teach in on prostate massage, which led to the obvious questions - stools and erections. I answered these as openly as I could, and was surprised that the response was still positive. All were sure that preparation was a thing bestr done alone - men please note. Women don't like anything but a fresh, pristine and empty anus. Anything else is a marriage killer.
When I showed them the Aneros and explained a bit about it they were receptive to using this rather than their hands to massage the prostate, and when I explained that they didn't even need to touch it or see it, just let their husbands use it, then all concerns seemed to go. I explained that some men might enjoy intercourse using the Aneros, but many just wanted to be able to use it on their own without having to be secretive. There were lots of questions about how it worked, so I showed them this site, and how easy it went in. About five compared their experiences of anal sex, largely favourably, and the best lubes. But they didn't fully understand it was better not to move the Aneros as they thought it would be like a dildo and needed some work to position it. I explained Pete got it seated well almost straight away and his contractions did the rest. This led on to questions of intercourse and when I said my enjoyment had increased because Pete's performance had improved, and that his ejaculate was better in smell, content and taste - more pink faces - by then I'd lost a couple, mainly because their views on health practices and sexual practices were quite apart. Strange. The rest of my friends all thought a healthier man and better sex was a good mix so maybe there will be a few more Aneros users soon.

Love

Jane

I don't understand wives who balk at their husbands using the aneros. I find it INCREDIBLY arousing to watch my husband when he uses the thing and when he uses it during sex his erections are harder and longer and That makes me happy too. I think the aneros has been great for us BOTH and I would reccommend it to all!

Originally Posted By: Jack
This is a very interesting thread. I am 53 and have had some E.D. for the last 2 years. About 12 months ago I bought a "g" spot style 8" vibrator, and have experimented with it a lot. I have always loved a good prostate massage, which I first experienced at 21 years old from a Korean girlfriend, while she gave me exquisite head. I got over any "homophobic" hangups back then, and have always enjoyed anal stimulation (finger, tongue, even a couple of two finger massages by male massuers long, long ago). My PSA is normal and I do not have any urination problems or pain, but when I began stimulation of my prostate with the g-spot vibe, I could actually feel the expulsion of "congested" semen (I had a vasectomy 16 years ago). As I continued to stroke my cock the semen would come out, and some 1/4" to 1/2" long strings of "congealed" clear/yellow semen, about a pencil lead in diameter. I now massage my prostate about every 2 days, and have better ejaculate amounts and shoot further.
My wife (of 28 years) has massaged me digitally, and she will use the g-spot vib on me when I ask (I usually give her a slow, mind-blowing oral orgasm first), and she enjoys stroking me and watching me come. We have always been very open about what feels good--and I have always made sure she has 1 orgasm first before I pop my rocks. But I am going to order an Aneros and use it during intercourse, to see if it will stimulate me and maybe eliminate the need for Viagra. I can always get a nice hardon, and often wake up with a hardon, but sometimes it fades after 10-15 minutes. I have always needed 15-30 minutes of actual stimulation (by hand, mouth, or in her vagina or anus) to reach orgasm--I'm the reverse of most men, and have never had premature or "too soon" ejaculation. We would both like it if I could pop in 5-10 minutes, as I enjoy foreplay so much that she often has her first orgasm within 2 or 3 minutes after I penetrate her.
Maybe the Aneros will speed up my ejaculation.
I'm basing my hopes on the one time in my life (30 years ago) when I had a 3-some with 2 Korean girls. I was fucking one missionary style and the other rimmed my anus and then inserted one, and finally two fingers and massaged my prostate--I blew so stongly and had such intense sphincter contractions that Kim said I hurt her fingers! I would love to feel that again--(I've tried to orgasm with a vibrator in my ass while fucking my wife, but my contractions expel the vib just as I orgasm).
Jane--thanks for all your comments, very good reading.
Men-don't be afraid of anal stimulation, it's all about who you are with, not what you're doing--the anus has an amazing amount of nerve endings!

[b:migrated]xxx[b:migrated] Hi Jane, I am so glad that your husband and you enjoy his Milking sessions. I just wonder if you are both in a Sub/Dom relationship? Milking a slave who you keep in Orgasm Denial can be a very rewarding experience for a Mistress. You can drain slave dry without him experiencing Sexual Gratification or Pleasure. You could Milk him into a vessel and make him drink the resulting fluid. You could then Flog, Whip or Cane him as his "Reward". Give it a try. I am sure you will enjoy, Susanna

I read this thread with interest... tried an Aneros Helix with my lover for the first time yesterday. He's straight and in his late 40's but doesn't have hangups when it comes to anal play. He was not the one who initiated the idea of anal stuff with me, but after the first time I tried finger stimulation during fellatio (I did it in an effort to slow his orgasm DOWN, but instead he came instantly, so I knew I was on to something! ) he told me afterward that he was glad I tried it, because he knows his prostate is sensitive and it felt nice. Within a few months we'd worked our way up to strap-on penetration but, although he liked the idea of it, it always hurt a bit too much to be all that much fun.

So the other day I finally bought this Aneros thing (pricey, gulp) and after we'd made love once, I sort of shyly took it out of my purse and said, "even if you don't feel like trying this now with me here, you should take it home and give it a go" and to my delight he replied, "if you know what to do with it, show me, then."

So we tried it and, I think, more or less followed the instructions. He said it felt kinda good but it didn't make him come, we ended up having sex with it inserted.

He didn't dislike it but he had two issues: one, he said he can't imagine inserting this thing and then having to "lie still with a boner for fifteen minutes waiting to jerk off". He said the waiting bit is uncomfortable physically. The second issue is, after orgasm, he doesn't like the feeling of something in his bum. He wants it out of there, like, yesterday. lol...

But from MY point of view, I LOVE the toy!!!! My lover has no ED issues at all and his erections are perfectly hard, like a young man's. But the Aneros makes his penis super-bionic-hard and extra thick, the way men are right at the moment before orgasm, but instead, for THE WHOLE TIME. His cock was so beautiful to look at I couldn't stop staring, and felt so huge and smooth in my mouth and in my pussy, hard to describe, but kind of like a balloon inflated to bursting point, that kind of pressure. Also, he was leaking so much pre-cum that we didn't need any lubricant or antyhing.The whole experience was really delightful. And as I said, he has no issues with hardness in the first place.

So, even though the Aneros didn't make the earth move for him I secretly hope he gives it another chance in private where he's more comfy, and I'm sure he will, because he's an open-minded person. But I also really hope he brings it over to my place again sometime!!!

Lucy

Originally Posted By: Lucy
I read this thread with interest... tried an Aneros Helix with my lover for the first time yesterday. He's straight and in his late 40's but doesn't have hangups when it comes to anal play. He was not the one who initiated the idea of anal stuff with me, but after the first time I tried finger stimulation during fellatio (I did it in an effort to slow his orgasm DOWN, but instead he came instantly, so I knew I was on to something! ) he told me afterward that he was glad I tried it, because he knows his prostate is sensitive and it felt nice. Within a few months we'd worked our way up to strap-on penetration but, although he liked the idea of it, it always hurt a bit too much to be all that much fun.

So the other day I finally bought this Aneros thing (pricey, gulp) and after we'd made love once, I sort of shyly took it out of my purse and said, \\\"even if you don't feel like trying this now with me here, you should take it home and give it a go\\\" and to my delight he replied, \\\"if you know what to do with it, show me, then.\\\"

So we tried it and, I think, more or less followed the instructions. He said it felt kinda good but it didn't make him come, we ended up having sex with it inserted.

He didn't dislike it but he had two issues: one, he said he can't imagine inserting this thing and then having to \\\"lie still with a boner for fifteen minutes waiting to jerk off\\\". He said the waiting bit is uncomfortable physically. The second issue is, after orgasm, he doesn't like the feeling of something in his bum. He wants it out of there, like, yesterday. lol...

But from MY point of view, I LOVE the toy!!!! My lover has no ED issues at all and his erections are perfectly hard, like a young man's. But the Aneros makes his penis super-bionic-hard and extra thick, the way men are right at the moment before orgasm, but instead, for THE WHOLE TIME. His cock was so beautiful to look at I couldn't stop staring, and felt so huge and smooth in my mouth and in my pussy, hard to describe, but kind of like a balloon inflated to bursting point, that kind of pressure. Also, he was leaking so much pre-cum that we didn't need any lubricant or antyhing.The whole experience was really delightful. And as I said, he has no issues with hardness in the first place.

So, even though the Aneros didn't make the earth move for him I secretly hope he gives it another chance in private where he's more comfy, and I'm sure he will, because he's an open-minded person. But I also really hope he brings it over to my place again sometime!!!

Lucy

Lucy,

First, I think it's terrific that you're both willing to step out and try something different like this! Like anything new, the Aneros takes some getting used to. Just a suggestion,...in the future, should you have the opportunity (and I hope you will), try introducing the Aneros at the beginning of your sessions as opposed to following an ejaculation. There are some men that find anal stimulation irritating after having an orgasm already. The chances are that your b.f. will be more receptive and most sensitive if you introduce the Aneros earlier in your sessions.

With respect to your boyfriend's observation about lying motionless with the Aneros, I assume this refers to a session directed at tapping into to the non-ejaculatory orgasm that we call the Super O. You should let him know that exploring this experience DOES NOT require that one remains motionless! While there are a variety of techniques that are aimed at having this kind of orgasm, most involve some level of movement, albeit subtle in some cases. (Some users have reported results using thrusting at key moments). That said, more likely than not an earnest exploration will probably require some solo time on your boyfriend's part.....assuming that he's motivated enough to do this on his own. If you REALLY want to be a part of it though,...it will require that you both set aside some time that is focused SOLELY on him. A time where it is clear that there is absolutely NO expectation for him to attend to YOU ...in any way! This is essential. If you're up to that,...then the rules from there are simple....you can do anything to arouse him short of anything that involves direct or indirect penile contact! So what does that leave? Nipple stimulation, aural (ear) stimulation, kissing, gently stroking his body, erotic conversation. Most men are easily aroused by visual stimulation.....masturbate in front of him....or stay close to him so that he might see your naked body. Play with all of his senses....sight, touch and even smell (use your imagination on that one). Just don't play with his penis! During this time he is to focus on generating sensations internally....by his anal contractions and breathing (see my threads B's Best of Bee Line and B's Keys to the Backdoor for more on that).

Allot no more than a hour or so for this activity.....you don't want to burn him out on this, after all, if he can't make the transition into the Super O....he'll be extremely aroused (and maybe a bit frustrated). At that point start to segue into some more traditional activities....one's that involve some measure of penile contact,.. having him retain the Aneros inside of him. When he does climax...I think you'll both find it a greatly expanded experience! Very intense, very voluminous...delightful.

If he prefers these exploration sessions with you, stay with them....but encourage him to practice on his own as well.

Cheers,

BF Mayfield

Originally Posted By: B Mayfield

Originally Posted By: Lucy
I read this thread with interest... tried an Aneros Helix with my lover for the first time yesterday. He's straight and in his late 40's but doesn't have hangups when it comes to anal play. He was not the one who initiated the idea of anal stuff with me, but after the first time I tried finger stimulation during fellatio (I did it in an effort to slow his orgasm DOWN, but instead he came instantly, so I knew I was on to something! ) he told me afterward that he was glad I tried it, because he knows his prostate is sensitive and it felt nice. Within a few months we'd worked our way up to strap-on penetration but, although he liked the idea of it, it always hurt a bit too much to be all that much fun.

So the other day I finally bought this Aneros thing (pricey, gulp) and after we'd made love once, I sort of shyly took it out of my purse and said, \\\"even if you don't feel like trying this now with me here, you should take it home and give it a go\\\" and to my delight he replied, \\\"if you know what to do with it, show me, then.\\\"

So we tried it and, I think, more or less followed the instructions. He said it felt kinda good but it didn't make him come, we ended up having sex with it inserted.

He didn't dislike it but he had two issues: one, he said he can't imagine inserting this thing and then having to \\\"lie still with a boner for fifteen minutes waiting to jerk off\\\". He said the waiting bit is uncomfortable physically. The second issue is, after orgasm, he doesn't like the feeling of something in his bum. He wants it out of there, like, yesterday. lol...

But from MY point of view, I LOVE the toy!!!! My lover has no ED issues at all and his erections are perfectly hard, like a young man's. But the Aneros makes his penis super-bionic-hard and extra thick, the way men are right at the moment before orgasm, but instead, for THE WHOLE TIME. His cock was so beautiful to look at I couldn't stop staring, and felt so huge and smooth in my mouth and in my pussy, hard to describe, but kind of like a balloon inflated to bursting point, that kind of pressure. Also, he was leaking so much pre-cum that we didn't need any lubricant or antyhing.The whole experience was really delightful. And as I said, he has no issues with hardness in the first place.

So, even though the Aneros didn't make the earth move for him I secretly hope he gives it another chance in private where he's more comfy, and I'm sure he will, because he's an open-minded person. But I also really hope he brings it over to my place again sometime!!!

Lucy

Lucy,

First, I think it's terrific that you're both willing to step out and try something different like this! Like anything new, the Aneros takes some getting used to. Just a suggestion,...in the future, should you have the opportunity (and I hope you will), try introducing the Aneros at the beginning of your sessions as opposed to following an ejaculation. There are some men that find anal stimulation irritating after having an orgasm already. The chances are that your b.f. will be more receptive and most sensitive if you introduce the Aneros earlier in your sessions.

With respect to your boyfriend's observation about lying motionless with the Aneros, I assume this refers to a session directed at tapping into to the non-ejaculatory orgasm that we call the Super O. You should let him know that exploring this experience DOES NOT require that one remains motionless! While there are a variety of techniques that are aimed at having this kind of orgasm, most involve some level of movement, albeit subtle in some cases. (Some users have reported results using thrusting at key moments). That said, more likely than not an earnest exploration will probably require some solo time on your boyfriend's part.....assuming that he's motivated enough to do this on his own. If you REALLY want to be a part of it though,...it will require that you both set aside some time that is focused SOLELY on him. A time where it is clear that there is absolutely NO expectation for him to attend to YOU ...in any way! This is essential. If you're up to that,...then the rules from there are simple....you can do anything to arouse him short of anything that involves direct or indirect penile contact! So what does that leave? Nipple stimulation, aural (ear) stimulation, kissing, gently stroking his body, erotic conversation. Most men are easily aroused by visual stimulation.....masturbate in front of him....or stay close to him so that he might see your naked body. Play with all of his senses....sight, touch and even smell (use your imagination on that one). Just don't play with his penis! During this time he is to focus on generating sensations internally....by his anal contractions and breathing (see my threads B's Best of Bee Line and B's Keys to the Backdoor for more on that).

Allot no more than a hour or so for this activity.....you don't want to burn him out on this, after all, if he can't make the transition into the Super O....he'll be extremely aroused (and maybe a bit frustrated). At that point start to segue into some more traditional activities....one's that involve some measure of penile contact,.. having him retain the Aneros inside of him. When he does climax...I think you'll both find it a greatly expanded experience! Very intense, very voluminous...delightful.

If he prefers these exploration sessions with you, stay with them....but encourage him to practice on his own as well.

Cheers,

BF Mayfield

Thanks, BF Mayfield!

No, I don't mind at all for him to use the Aneros without my participation, and I really hope he will. He took it home without protest and has already joked about it since, so it seems to be on his mind...

I bought it as a present, really, not a couple's toy. He's not what I would call inhibited but still, I can't imagine that he would ever have walked into a sex shop on his own and bought a men's anal toy. Sometimes people need a little nudge. But I love him and I knew he'd love it...

I don't think he felt any discomfort from using the toy after having had an orgasm. He said the Aneros didn't hurt at all. What bothered him was the "blue balls"- type congested feeling of laying around fully hard waiting for whatever he was supposed to be waiting for. On his own I'm guessing he'll modify the instructions to suit himself. He's worried that he won't be able to insert the thing on his own but I'm sure he'll do fine.

I'd love to use the Aneros WITH him again sometime but I know that it's probably easiest for him to master the super-O technique solo... but I can IMAGINE WATCHING, right? lol

In regards to other points made in this thread... it occurs to me that maybe negative reactions to the Aneros on the part of women might happen more in the context of marriage. In my case, he's my lover, not my spouse. I've never worried that the fact that he likes anal play might mean he's gay. We live in a big city, and he's a charming, attractive guy. He's not homophobic. If he wanted to sleep with men instead of women, then, why wouldn't he? It's a shame that people make this strong association between anal pleasure and homosexuality. How weird, really, the idea that there are gay and straight body parts.

Also re Jane's comments re: cleanliness, in my case, my lover has never done any "preparation" before we've done anal play, and me neither, actually, when I've had receptive anal sex (though the man has always used a condom, that I can recall). To my recollection there has never been much of a mess to worry about. I think maybe, if a person feels like they need to go, then they wouldn't feel much like anal play in the first place. Being clean for sex is considerate, but, if a man finds that his partner is receptive to including anal play then he probably shouldn't stress out too much worrying that his anus may be "dirty". If she loves you, she loves every inch of you, and she can deal with a little mess.

Wow! What a great forum. I am planning on purchasing one for my lover. I have played with him anally in the past and he does enjoy. These have been his first experiences and while they were good I want something that will rock his world for him. I figure since I have a whole bag full of toys for me I want something for him to use alone and when we are together. He is 10 years younger than I am and was somewhat sheltered about the variety of sexual experiences and how open some women are. Honsetly I don't have a lot of experiences with men and prostrate massage either. So I was hoping for alittle advice from those who have used this wonderful sounding toy. The first time we will most likely use it together so any advice on positions and movements would be very helpful. Thanks so much for the open sharing of info you have already given me and any advice you can give from either perspective (men or women)

Rainne

(this post was edited 2006-09-15 08:58:56)

Rainnestrorm,

Check out my threads below, B's Best of BEELINE and Keys to the Backdoor.. for starters. Thereafter, there is a wealth of information available in this forum....just start combing through. Use the Search feature for specific topics. You may also email members for more input as well.

In general, the device can be used to enhance traditional activities (oral sex, fondling and intercourse) or for the Super O experience.

If it is the latter however, you must set aside time that is strictly devoted to attending to him (see my comments of Sept. 8th in THIS thread above).

The following is a post that I made some months ago regarding a game plan for more traditional activities. I located it by searching under COUPLES.

On the first outing I think it's nice to give some taste of the new with the traditional. That is, some hands-off activities combined with some hands-on. The following is an example session.

Cheers,

BF Mayfield

Thanks BF Mayfield. I actually did that after I posted. Next time I will remember to look first. I just want to do something special. I got excited about it and got ahead of myself. Thanks for all the great info you have posted in the past making it easy on someone stating out. Have a great day!!

Jane,

I wouldnt say it is taboo for all men, just some. I fully intend to allow my wife to be part of this exploration if she chooses - She has already implied she would like too!.

I am sure there are issues involving perceptions of masculinity and all that social conditioning but in a loving and 'safe' feeling relationship, I am sure those can be overcome!

arcane

Hi Jane

Your posts contain so much of interest that it is hard to know what to say and where to start.

But I have a lot to say which I hope everyone will find informative and exciting because, for me, sexual problems have led us into a whole new sexual world. Like Pete, I am the one with a problem (diabetes related ED) but my wife is one, who in her own words, regards her sex life as private although not actually secret. By contrast, I found that once I plucked up enough courage to talk to my doctor, I became quite garrulous.

Our sex lives have been very straightforward. We met as virgins in our late thirties, quickly discovered the joy of fucking, married, had a family and saw them all leave home. Through all these years, we managed a reasonably active but rather furtive sex life until l became diabetic and could no longer get a full erection or maintain it for long enough to finish the job. Trying to fuck with a floppy cock is only a joke if it hardly ever happens.

So, I did my homework, found out that Viagra or Cialis seemed appropriate, plucked up all my courage and went with my wife to the doctor. He listened and said "would you like to try Viagra?". Well, if you are over 60 in the UK, prescriptions are free so I said yes like a shot! And it worked, really hard erections that lasted up to two hours and were repeatable for up to 8 or more hours. (I have since changed to Cialis but that would over elaborate my story). So we resumed our pleasure probably more frequently than before but I gradually found myself disappointed with the intensity of my orgasms and resumed my research. I had not made any real progress when one morning, out of the blue, I had a mindblowing superorgasm. It was meant to be a quickie before getting up but it went on until my wife was too sore to continue. I had a brief rest then found that I could wank with the same success. In all, it lasted about 90 minutes.

This had to be researched, subsequent fucks did not have the same outcome and I discovered Aneros. Now, our sex life has always been centred on fucking and wanking and my wife has always refused offers of a dildo or vibrator. But, she agreed that the stakes were high enough to justify a change of policy and bought me an SGX for my birthday this summer. I had to try it out discreetly though and after a lot of practice started to get results. The timing was opportune though as my wife had a heavy fall and was unable to fuck for more than a month. I suspect that, had I not been doing Pilates for several years, I might never have succeeded as control and tone of your pelvic muscles is essential for effective Aneros use.

The enforced lack of fucking also gave me an opportunity to learn ejaculation control. I had tried this unsuccesfully when in my thirties but this time I got it right with a lot less effort than needed to learn the Aneros. So, by the end of August, I was multi orgasmic, either at the base of my penis using the SGX or at the glans by wanking.

Adding a partner complicated the equation due both to stronger stimulation and the need to please but , in the last few weeks we have got there including, just once so far, one orgasm almost as good as the one that started it all off. I haven't given up wanking-I now need sex far too often for that- and have discovered another delight, the double orgasm starting with the Aneros and when going strongly at one end, bring the other end to orgasm by wanking. Twice as powerful!

But, nothing is perfect. My capability has improved so that I can reach multiple orgasm without difficulty and in several different ways several times a day, but my wife cannot keep up. I think our relationship is strong enough to survive highly unmatched libido but it would be nice to fuck more and wank less. Any ideas girls- short of taking on additional partners which is a nice dream but not good for domestic harmony.

Finally, a word to those guys who think that enjoying their bum makes them gay. There's a hell of a lot of fun to be had up there, why miss out because of a label? I suggest to you that what makes you gay is wanting sex with men and not wanting it with women and that's about all.

Well Jane and everyone, I hope that was worth reading and I look forward to comment.

Keep it up

Dynamic Dave

Originally Posted By: jane
Hi

I hope it's ok for a woman to post a message, but my husband won't do it and I wanted to share our experience of an Aneros couple. It started nearly two years ago when Pete had trouble holding his erection and his ejaculate was thin not nice, and ejaculating itself was a little bit sore at times. The doc checked him over, said he might have a bit of prostatis which we knew nothing about. Oferred a course of massage which seemed to work but embarassed Pete a lot. However, by the end of the course he was harder again, the soreness had gone and his semen was in better shape. But within three months the old signs returned, albeit much less than before. He, and I, were worried and ready to go back to doc when we saw an alternative therapy clinic advertise prostate treatments. Thought we'd try and found more massage but with implements not fingers. Pete thought it worked better though it was probably becasue a finger wasn't poking inside of him. The therapist sold him some stuff, including an aneros, and suggested he try them out on his own as the treatment didn't need any special expertise. Pete did, only when I was out, again becasue of the connotations of a man poking his own bum. Over the last year he was noticeably better in bed, happier and him peeing sounded like a tap turned full on. I was interested but he'd keep me at a distance. Until I decided to confront him, making sure we didn't spend time apart for a couple of weeks so he couldn't find the time to be alon with his aneros. Eventually he gave in and allowed me to observe. After all I used my vibe when he was about, so what was tht different. When I dd get to watch I was stunned to see Pete convulse when using the aneros and to spontaneously ejaculate without touching his penis. Just by contacting; it hit me that he was doing the same pc exercises that I used. So I wanted him in me with it in him and when we did this he moaned like no other time, was hard and had stamina I'd not seen for a long time. We both really got off on the experience and his super orgasm helped my orgasms. We now set special Aneros time aside when we talk about it and use it so we know better how it works for us. We've become closer with a special more intimate bond - he's happier and healthier. And I'm enjoying each lay as though I'd got a new man! So, thank you Aneros!

Jane

PS Why is it that men using the aneros is so secret when we women have been using vibes for years and they are now sold everywhere. God, even my local pharmacy has some discreet models on sale. And regular TV shows plastic cocks in dramas and comedies. Yet a man and his bum is still taboo! So mad...........

Hi Jane

I enjoyed reading a woman's perspective on the aneros. Thank you so much for posting. I only introduced the aneros into love making with my wife after owning an aneros for some time as I was embarassed to admit owning one to her.

I will never regret working up the courage to admit it to her as it truely revolutionised our sex life. My errection and stamina improved greatly too, as did my orgasm.

My orgasm has become more intense and my wife loves the fact that I have become more vocal during sex, unable to control my vocal expressions of pleasure and enjoyment during sex.
It does however make me orgasm quicker.

Hello Jane,

I am a man who thinks that your question regarding taboo is understandable. The only reason I can think of is this:
Men are ashamed of indulging themselves in anal play because it is something new to them and they feel it is not a natural part of their sexuality. Women are not ashamed in the least about stimulating their clitorises or vaginias because it is natural to them and men realize this fact. Some men need to realize that they, as well as women, need to come to terms with the fact that human sexuality is about pleasure and the fun part of discovering different ways to experience pleasure lies within venturing into the unknown.

Hi: I hope you don't mind me asking a question here. I've known about the Aneros for almost a year now after making a stop at my husband's & mine favorite "naughty" store to pick up something to surprise him with. We've been together nearly 20 years and as the years pass, we seem to get more adventorous when it comes to things that have to do with me, but I want to include him in the fun too. I want to approach him about trying the Aneros just for his enjoyment (we're luckily not suffering through any problems as yet) but he seems extremely uncomfortable about any suggestion of anal play on him (but not me). So my questions are: 1) How can I encourage him to try it, especially if it is something that he'll have to practise some on his own before we'll be "off & running"? and 2) for any of the men out there, do you prefer the Aneros orgasm to a penile orgasm when you're with a woman? I must say that I feel a little vulnerable that if I successfully introduce the Aneros into our lovemaking that "my equipment" will begin to play second fiddle to it! Thanks for any advise and/or encouragement!

Lynn

(this post was edited 2007-02-25 11:04:27)

(this post was edited 2007-01-31 16:39:29)

Hi: I hope you don't mind me asking a question here. I've known about the Aneros for almost a year now after making a stop at my husband's & mine favorite "naughty" store to pick up something to surprise him with. We've been together nearly 20 years and as the years pass, we seem to get more adventorous when it comes to things that have to do with me, but I want to include him in the fun too. I want to approach him about trying the Aneros just for his enjoyment (we're luckily not suffering through any problems as yet) but he seems extremely uncomfortable about any suggestion of anal play on him (but not me). So my questions are: 1) How can I encourage him to try it, especially if it is something that he'll have to practise some on his own before we'll be "off & running"? and 2) for any of the men out there, do you prefer the Aneros orgasm to a penile orgasm when you're with a woman? I must say that I feel a little vulnerable that if I successfully introduce the Aneros into our lovemaking that "my equipment" will begin to play second fiddle to it! Thanks for any advise and/or encouragement!

Lynn

Hello and welcome to the forum. 1. All you can do is suggest this to him if he is not willing to engage in this type of sexual activity he can not be made to do it. That being said have him read some of the posts on the web site this may help him with his decision. If he is open to anal play with you obviously it is not that taboo of a subject. It is wise to get use to the sensations the aneros produces prior to use with a partner but not an absolute rule. I would suggest in his pursuit of the Super-O that he starts on his own. I takes time to rewire your body and for me concentration was essential, some men do experience this type of orgasm right out of the box but only rarely. You could introduce the aneros while having oral sex with him. Remember go slow any pain encountered stop and use plenty of lube. Trust me the first traditional orgasm he has with the aneros inserted will produce such a great orgasm he will come back for more. Hopefully this will open the door for further explorations with the aneros. 2. I have never had a Super-O while having sex with my wife. I do not perfer one to the other they are both equally enjoyable. The only Super-O I have experienced with my wife was before we engaged in any contact she was masturbating and I was lying there watching her and had inserted the aneros about 10 minutes prior. My wife was very turned on by the experience. Once I get an erection I have been unable to have a Super-O but when I am having sex with my wife you can contract your anus and produce very pleasurable feelings from your anus. This area of your body is loaded with nerves as you know and in my opinion is understimulated by many couples. See my post under "Is this real" regarding the Super-O for men. And when you orgasm your anus contracts several times this in turn stimulates the prostate and feels wonderful usually producing more ejaculate/semen. I do not think you will become second fiddle it is normal to feel vulnerable when trying something new. Think how he feels if he gives it a try. My wife and I enjoy having sex with and without the aneros. I think the most important advice to couples is to be open and honest with one another. I hope this answers some of the questions you posted.

la

Jane, which one would you suggest as a "starter" of the Aneros items?

Susan,

Forgive me for taking the liberty here, but as it has been some time since Jane's last forum post, I figured I'd answer your question myself.

As good "starters" go there are two models that come to mind; the Helix and the MGX. Most guys here in the forum are partial to one or the other. Recently the MGX seems to be winning a lot followers here. If your partner is smaller in stature (under 5"6" in tall) the SGX would be the ticket. This model has the proper configuration for men with that height. If you have ANY questions don't hesitate to ask.

Good luck and don't forget to keep us posted with your progress!

BF Mayfield

Lynn and others,

The women on this site (and the more of you the better) often express concern regarding male aversion to anal penetration and appear to believe that we are anxious not to display gay characteristics.

I would suggest a different reason which certainly applies to myself. Despite finding my fellow men sexually unattractive I have always been interested in the sexual possibilities offered by my anus. The main incentive was that it might be fun to know what sex felt like for a woman but uninformed exploration with a finger produced no results and when I eventually married, my wife was far too interested in my penis. But the real disincentive was the belief that my anus was much too delicate to be invaded, a view that was reinforced by a tendency to haemerroids and an extraordinarily painful recovery from a biopsy.

The change came when, out of the blue, I experienced a superorgasm which went on and on, in and out of my wife which prompted an internet search for ways of securing repeat performances. One outcome was that, despite my fears, I decided to try an Aneros. Six months on, I can say that after learning to masturbate and marrying my wife, it was the best decision I have ever made. Because it was the smallest in the Aneros range, I bought an SGX and started to use a douche daily. Not only does it work as a sexual stimulator but my anus never bleeds, never gets sore, I never soil myself and the douche is very pleasant to use.

Girls; consider the possibility that your man is worried not about his self image but about pain or health. There is no pain, it is healthy and so long as he works at it solo and with you it is FUN

Incidentally, I have a corresponding problem with my wife. She needs pelvic floor exercise but is totally averse to putting anything in her vagina that is not part of me. Doing it without an exerciser is difficult to learn and your suggestions are welcome.

Good fucking

Dynamic Dave

My boyfriend is 43 and he often has trouble maintaining a stiff erection. He is open to anal play and I have participated in the past, but ever since this problem began he doesn't even want to do that anymore. After reading the posts in this forum, I am thinking of buying an Aneros for him. Two questions: 1)How should I present this product to him without embarrassing him? 2)Is it safe to use the Aneros during intercourse?

Originally Posted By: yogaprincess
My boyfriend is 43 and he often has trouble maintaining a stiff erection. He is open to anal play and I have participated in the past, but ever since this problem began he doesn't even want to do that anymore. After reading the posts in this forum, I am thinking of buying an Aneros for him. Two questions: 1)How should I present this product to him without embarrassing him? 2)Is it safe to use the Aneros during intercourse?

Yes its safe to use during intercourse, I love the extra stimulation I get with it in.

As to how to present it, how about getting something for yourself so you can play with your toys together.

Originally Posted By: melissa
Wow... I'm a 21 yr old female, and I would not have expected women to be so squeamish about men's use of this device... I've always thought heterosexual men were much more close-minded about anal stimulation than women, especially since we're the more common recipients of anal sex/play. ...I'm surprised men would have to hide this from their wives or lovers, I would have thought that any discomfort about it would come from the men themselves.

I'm a man aged 47 who has only begun playing with my wife's back door in the last two years (finger mainly and penis occasionally). I used some fingertips only with girlfriends in college to wonderful effect, though none ever tried with me...or even asked if I were interested...and I now looking back I don't know why I didn't bring it up.

These days my wife enjoys it now ant then, and is unashamed to tell me so. But when I encourage to use her fingers on me, even on the outside of my anus, she asks if it means I'm gay! Truth be told, a male relative of hers was recently discovered to have a box of gay porn...the discovery being made by his 60 year old wife...so she may be sensitive on this point. Also a girlfriend in her 40's is divorcing her husband,who's distant and cold (to say the least), and oh by the way hasn't had sex with her for years...which also makes my wife think he's gay. Still, I offer this as a modern-day example of a woman who enjoys receiving anal play being very concerned about her man liking it as well. (I am completely shaven and scrupulously clean, but I recognize the visual may be unappealing and that could be a factor.)

I should also report that last weekend she used a thin massager inside me for about the third time ever. On prior occasions I think it was under-lubed, and motion hurt. This time it was great! I was able to tell her during the experience that now I know why she likes anal intercourse sometimes, it feels so good. I could've gone on forever. But even while working on insertion...she asked for reassurance that I'm not gay! Ladies, that's not the time to ask, unless done with great humor!

I haven't purchased the Aneros but I am going to right now! Since my vasectomy, my ejaculate is thinner, and my dad had prostate cancer at about age 70, so I'm interested in prostate massage. Also when manually massaging myself I enjoy the sensations and love to see the prostataic fluid seeping out as I wake up my prostate. If my wife is hesitant to give me anal play, I'll just have to take matters into my own hands!...er, rectum!

By the way if you want to learn more about lasting, non-ejaculatory, whole-body orgasm, for both men and women, you may want to check out sites on Tantric sex. One of the best introductions is www.whitelotuseast.com. The Aneros sounds like it may help men learn to get in touch with their bodies, to relax into receiving pleasure, to come without spurting, to last as long as their hearts and lungs can let them...all of which are practices and benefits of tantric sex with a partner. Tantric sex is about really getting in touch with your partner's body, and feeling a connection with the divine through the connection with your partner. This is a little off topic but offered as a gift. Thanks to all of you, for your postings here.

Now to buy that Aneros! And yes, after I've mastered it, I will tell her about it and see where we go with it. Stay tuned!

Tom

Yes its safe to use during intercourse, I love the extra stimulation I get with it in.
.

I bought a Helix for my husband, who is having trouble with ED and also difficulties ejaculating. We were having to go for hours just to finish once! He was very grouchy about having to do anything around his anus, especially inserting something. He hates having exams at the doctor's office too. But like many guys, he loves having anal sex as long as he's on the giving end...hahhaa.

His second try with it was amazing. We had sex together, with the Helix inserted inside him. As he orgasmed inside me, he said the Helix was pumping inside him which made the experience even stronger. It was so nice to feel some of the muscular contractions again... the last few years when he climaxed, there was no feeling of contractions at all. I always really liked feeling that throbbing sensation inside me.

I'm really impressed! Along with the ED drugs, the Helix is another great tool. I feel it's given him confidence and that's also a very important thing.

This may seem like a dumb question, but I'm curious. Have any women tried using the aneros on themselves, either in the anus or vagina? I know that women don't have the proper anatomy for the aneros to do what it's designed to, but I know if I were a woman, at some point curiosity would get the best of me.

This may seem like a dumb question, but I'm curious. Have any women tried using the aneros on themselves, either in the anus or vagina? I know that women don't have the proper anatomy for the aneros to do what it's designed to, but I know if I were a woman, at some point curiosity would get the best of me.

Gravel,

I stopped by Toys in Babeland (an adult toy store) last week to pick up some lube, and got into a discussion with their staff about the Aneros. Interestingly enough they indeed did tell me that they have been selling the product to women who have used it with success as a G-spot stimulator! They told me that they had gotten particularly good reports about the Progasm being used in this way. Who knew...!

BF Mayfield