I am incurably erotic and sensual man; that eroticism expresses itself in my own hardened cock or in the twitching anticipation of my anus. My erotic desires extend to visions of cocks hardened, arched and aching in arousal and cunts reddened and open, dripping with the nectar of feminine lust. I came to this realization as I began this journey many years ago. Since then I have turned my writing energy to recording my intimate and erotic thoughts.
The act of writing and weaving my intimate and vulgar erotic narrative into the complex sexual fabric that is me is in and of itself a very arousing process and it fuels my MMO's. I seldom finish a piece without an erection that is aching and throbbing in my pants and my anus twitching and tingling. Almost every night I lay in bed pondering some of the memories that the writing that I have done as I pleasantly suffer in the desperation of arousal.
The erotic maelstrom in my head as I mmoed this morning is now hanging heavily between my thighs. Recalling some of those thoughts provides the fuel for hours of unbridled orgasms and it has inspired me to write an entry to share them with you … so here goes.
The duality of J’s vagina is a source of endless fascination for me. Lying with my face between J’s soft thighs kissing the lust wetted lips of her pussy and licking the warm desire from her quivering opening a few nights ago, has inspired me to think of the miracle of her vagina. As I tease her glistening pink flesh with my tongue and kiss the silken lips that drape the mouth of her feminine opening, I tease her and keep her temporarily suspended in pre orgasmic anguished tension. She will thrust, quake and stiffen in a futile effort to hasten her pussy to grant her the relief of orgasm but I tease her keeping her on the brink of climax until her plaintive moans tell me the time is right. Slipping a finger into her dripping pussy mouth as it yawns her need, my cock stiffens in appreciation. I massage the hardened lump inside her that will drive her to the precipice of ecstasy. She will grasp my head and hold it to her clit as she grinds against my mouth and thrusts her pelvis in pursuit of the exquisite pleasure of her release. When she arrives at her crescendo she trills a song of rapture as the orgasmic torrent floods her cunt and forces it to contract in convulsive euphoria.
I never tire of coaxing J to lose herself in orgasm. It seems like she is falling, or riding on a roller coaster grinding and thrusting slowly all the way to the top of the first hill; each foot of the climb twists her pussy and arches her back with promises of excruciating pleasure; her pelvic dance culminates in a heart stopping sensation of pure erotic rapture at the climax. When she goes over the top, she is rewarded in free fall with the intense feeling of dropping down into an abyss of numbing pleasure. The shuddering and trembling and shaking of her body indeed does remind me of a ride on a roller coaster. She has told me that the blood rushes in her ears and her ears ring when I guide her to a particularly intense orgasm.
She has described the sensation to me as welling up in her vagina and boring into it at the same time. She will sometimes whisper to me, describing sweet "warm waves of pleasure" as they are building in her. When she is totally gripped in this intense pleasure and her vagina is twitching in anticipation of orgasm and drooling the saliva of her passion, she will vocalize all sorts of vulgar and affectionate fantasies. She will curse at me, moan obscenities and express the agonizing euphoria that is twisting her vagina with all kinds of intermingled curses. Her nipples will harden and become hypersensitive triggers that can bridge her to a second orgasm if I massage them right and kiss her to help sustain the momentum of her climax.
When I coax her to orgasm with my mouth I tickle her clit ever so gently with the firm tip tongue as I tease the smooth silky skin in the vestibule of her vagina with the tip of my finger. I softly and slowly massage the smooth tender flesh at the mouth of her pussy as I flick and suckle her hardened clit until her hole is weeping pearlescent white desire. Then reading her body language I respond when her arched back and rising pelvis tells me she is ready. When she signals her urgency and her need, I will go faster and faster…until she is right there.
I know then that she is ready to go over the edge. Then when it is just the right time I will wrap my lips around her hardened clit and hold it firmly in my mouth. With her clit held tightly and wrapped in the secure warmth of my lips I firmly suck it as my tongue massages the underside of her glans. I slide my finger into her dripping sodden opening and massage her hot spot and all around the inside of her opening until she is squirming in desperation. When orgasm is imminent, the skin on her chest will flush, her nipples will harden to stone and she will shudder and tremble until something deep inside her pussy pops like a champagne cork and releases the warm flood of orgasmic pleasure. The gush of sensation is accompanied by the oozing of her hot sticky pearl white honey. The pleasure reverberates in her pussy and spills out sending waves of anguished joy over her skin.
It particularly drives her crazy if I grasp her hips and hold her pussy firmly to my mouth and work her clit as she thrusts her pelvis up and down in response to each vulgar convulsion that grips her. I keep my mouth affixed to the seething pit of her ecstasy as I relentlessly tease her to stay suspended in the quaking bliss of climax. I can keep her writhing in divine agony for several minutes holding her to my mouth so the intense orgasms can drill mercilessly into her sodden pussy.
Her orgasm from cunnilingus is one of selfishness. Her sensation of the pleasure she experiences involves her and her alone; it starts and ends deep in the pit of her vagina. The focus of the experience is the seesawing grip of tension and relief that is tugging at her clit, pulsing in her vagina, contracting her anus, and making her nipples tingle. J’s cunnilingus driven orgasm is a hard, solitary and intensely pleasurable experience.
Then there is the orgasm from making love with me. On the contrary it is a truly spiritual. experience for her and by association me as well. I am a sexual mirror. When J cries I will tear up. When J has a gripping orgasm with my penis deep inside her hot steamy cunt my cock turns to stone. When she is enraptured in the warm caress of orgasm from penetration, the sensation grasps my cock and takes me with her. Although I certainly experience my own orgasm when we make love, I vicariously experience hers as well. It is very much a mutually enjoyed event.
The highest level of intimacy that J can have with me is accepting me to be inside her. Although the orgasms are not as pleasurable as MMO orgasms an orgasm from fucking is deeply emotional and very moving. It has always been that way. Entering her is a privilege that still moves me. The act of welcoming and desiring my penis to penetrate her body and having her accept my warm cum, delivered in the throes of passion, deposited inside her speaks volumes of her trust, love and adoration, and desire for me. There is no other act in human interaction where a woman will accept bodily fluid from a man and actually relish it once it is in her.
The most intense spiritual state that a woman can achieve is most definitely during the act of making love to someone she cares deeply for. I describe it as the experience of perceiving and accepting that which is beyond her as being a part of her. The expression of making love dissolves the apparent boundaries between her and me.
When the connection of shared being is combined with physical sexual stimulation during our love making, the stimulation acts as an energy source which powers both of our emotions; these emotions include love, adoration, lust, bliss, joy, naughtiness, satisfaction, peace and other delightful sensations. The ultimate sexual/spiritual connection occurs when physical sensations are at their peak of pleasurable intensity. Consequently we try to maintain our peak of physical sensual sensation for as long as possible. For J, this means prolonged multiple orgasms. For me it means delaying my gratification until I want to scream, hanging on the edge of ejaculation until I ultimately let go into her.
The deepest levels of intimacy are involved, when we make love. This means that emotional walls come down completely. Dropping our walls is the result of trust, respect and appreciation of each other. Because of the lack of walls, when we are deep in the spirituality of making love we feel free to say and do all sorts of things we would never say under other circumstances. We express deepest intimacies; we look in each others eyes unembarrassed, we express filthy things in loving ways, we do filthy things.
The physical techniques we use to produce the prolong states of peak sexual arousal just mentioned involve me reading and sensing what she is feeling and vice versa. I feel it though my skin contact with her, I see it in her eyes, the beating of her heart, the erection of her nipples, the appearance of her skin, the feel of her vagina and the look of her opening, the noises she makes and how she flexes her hands and arms. It is critical that I am completely aware of J’s state of arousal in order to maintain her on a plateau. This means I must be in constant and acute communication with her body.
All of us can be acutely aware of our lover’s body. It is easiest during conscious love making of two long term lovers; when two partners have been walking the same erotic experience for many years as we have, we both have learned to sense the others sensual needs and responses. Familiarity doesn’t breed boredom, it breeds knowledge. It enables two lovers to feel the same emotion.
First we start with generating sexual energy days ahead of time. We do this by creating "excited anticipation" of the sexual encounter to come. It means she must go without sexual release for a few days to feel very motivated sexually. For me I will MMO intensely for three days to accelerate my arousal. Two to three days of MMOing will peg my arousal at a very high level.
At post menopause she is slower to warm up than I am I will make a concerted effort to arouse her; over the course of perhaps two or three days, I flirt and tease, to stimulate her desire. Any direct physical stimulation consists of a peck on the lips, a pat on her rear, and maybe a light kiss on her vaginal lips when she is half awake in the morning; just enough to stimulate the beginnings of her arousal. I do romantic things. I will massage her shoulders massages or otherwise engage in intimate, not-quite-sexual behavior.
Once we are both equally aroused, the next step is extended foreplay. We burn incense, light candles, put on some romantic music or otherwise create an atmosphere of "special intimacy." Physically, I begin with very subtle stimulation. J loves to get goose bumps. I will strip her of her night gown and run my fingers ever so lightly on her arms, inner thighs and breasts until her body is overcome by wave after wave of chills, this relaxes her deeply and makes her mind melt.
I take my time and pay close attention to the affect my actions are having on her; getting her to let go of everything and be here in the moment with me is the key. I want her to be aware of the warmth of my skin, the beating of my heart, the strength and gentleness of my large strong hand on her pussy. The effect here is to get her to focus on me as opposed to her vagina, clit or nipples as is the case when I eat her. Making love is about communication and what we are feeling sensually and emotionally. The goal is to think less, and feel more connected. I continue gentle foreplay until her desire to have me penetrate her is overwhelming.
Ultimately when I penetrate her I do it slowly, with attention to all of the subtle sensations I can induce. Slow and steady is the rule. When I am extremely aroused it can be difficult to refrain from more aggressive action, but her orgasm requires gentle, steady stimulation of her vagina, her clitoris and her mind. I can’t push her. An occasional circular motion of my finger on her pearl as I am drawing in and out of her will slowly ramp her up.
My object is to bring her right to the height of arousal until the transition to orgasm is inescapable, and then apply relentless slow, steady stimulation to her trigger spots. We have learned that J can’t "reach for" her orgasm, but instead she lets me coax her closer and closer to the edge, then she just gives into it and lets it happen. It’s about receiving and accepting her orgasm and allowing me to have the privilege of giving it to her.
When the orgasm begins to trickle into J’s pussy, it draws all of her consciousness to it, both emotional and sensual; the space around her falls away. I will continue the same, steady stimulation and "push" my emotional and sensual sensations into her with my relentlessly probing penis; all my sexual energy, thoughts and fantasies are transmitted to her through my erect – hot cock. As I probe her cunt with my cock searching for the shared bliss of orgasm, I probe her thoughts with my eyes. I search her eyes for what she is feeling and tell her wordlessly what I am feeling. I express my desire for her, my adoration and the pleasure her sucking cunt is drawing from my aching rigid penis. We can both feel our energies combine in a sea of excitement, tension and adoration.
The steady stimulation will produce aroused “ripples" of sweet delirium in her vagina, where the anguished urgency of arousal gradually rises to an intolerable moment before it cascades. As J’s arousal builds she usually embraces me tightly, clinging to me and often holding my ass with her hands as she forces my cock deeper into her vagina. Unlike cunnilingus I am part of this experience with her. As her arousal ramps up to climax she will cling to my ass in desperation. Partly to maintain the stimulation my penis is stirring in her pussy, but partly to hold me to her as the euphoria is building in her cunt. Our choreographed dance is critical at this point. I will slow down and she will get more aggressive, grinding her cunt on my pubic bone to sustain the sheer pleasure of conscious fucking.
When her orgasm arrives she describes it as an explosive flood in her vagina. It feels like she is being filled to the point of bursting with unmitigated ecstasy. As her orgasm crests she will cling helplessly to me as the pleasure waves rush into her open pussy. Although she is clinging to me physically for the passion and reassurance of her bliss, I am releasing her to the arms of rapture. I give her to the whim of a higher power that takes control of her mind and body, but her vagina in particular. I am there injecting rapture into her; it enters her pussy via my cock, flooding it. Her convulsing pussy swallows as much pleasure as it can, savoring each gulp.
Once the orgasm has ravished her pelvis it travels up her spine leaving a tingling trail of erotic sparks behind it. The sensual tsunami carries her with it, as it inundates her in swells of sheer sensuality as I watch. Her eyes glaze over as myriad erotic sensations flash and smolder in the depth of her vagina. As the she is wrapped in a cloak of orgasmic euphoria, I lose her to this powerful force that is now fucking her as I am making love to her. He now has her.
I hold her as she is devoured by the intense power of intense lust. Her pussy weeps in anguished joy, drooling the liquid of her desire around my cock as I hold her shuddering and quaking body the river of ecstasy flows unleashed in her vagina. I am now clinging to her out of jealously, I do not want to lose her to this mysterious lover I cannot see.
Witnessing her rapture is too much for me. I am so totally turned on I can no longer control my orgasm. I erupt in her vagina as she holds me firmly. I am streaming long thick ropes of my cum into the warmth of her pussy as I am kissing her lips with lust and desperation. The pulsing of my cock drives her further into the arms of rapture as the haze of otherworldliness fills her mind. But I am there with her.
This morning as I MMOed these were the images that drove my session to excruciating heights. I thought of the distinct mutually shared experience of making love to her with my penis and the sheer solitary intensity of orgasm she gets from having me eat her out. Her vagina is an amazing organ. It can allow her to experience our love and lust and tell the difference.