The complexity of my sexuality has been getting harder and harder for me to rationalize. The relative recent appeal of erect cocks is just one such inexplicable realization. Juxtaposed to the lascivious feelings that tug at my own cock when I see a good looking guy in all his hard glory I also love to see a moist swollen vagina dripping with passion. And just as much as I daydream about sucking cum from a lust stiffened cock I also love cunnilingus. Cunnilingus itself is such a clinical word, I hate using it. But when I consider all the other names that it is called, somehow cunnilingus keeps popping up in my lexicon as one of the most common words I use. For fun though, here are a few that I can recall having read, heard or referenced: carpet munch, clam dive, dive a muff, dive in the canyon, drink at the fuzzy bowl, eat out, face the nation, growl at the badger, mouth fucking, tongue fucking, licken a chicken, munch a bearded clam, and whistle in the weeds.
Regardless of what I call it; I am crazy about performing it especially on the sexy woman I love. When I think about it, cunnilingus is my favorite sexual activity hands down. I would dare say I love mouth fucking her more than I like fucking. I know that I am not alone in my affinity for cunnilingus …many – many guys love it as well. The web is frequently peppered with questions about technique, and other practical concerns as well as roadblocks and other issues. I recently responded to one of these inquiries on line and got a rousing response from several lady friends on line about my suggestions.
Before I get into technique or advice, I wanted to just consider the act itself and what is it that drives me insane with lust about it. Case in point, as I am writing this entry my cock is as hard as a steel cable. Just thinking about it, planning to describe it and talk about it has gotten me erect to the point of aching.
Part of its appeal to me is the beauty of her vagina itself. I am totally in love with lady bits. A pussy in a relaxed or aroused state is an incredibly beautiful thing. I often times refer to her pussy as a flower or a blossom and to me that is an apt reference … it is like an exotic flower to me. . . and it draws me to it just as a honeysuckle draws a hummigbird to its fragrant nectar.
Many guys don’t take the time to really get to know their lady’s girly parts, but I can tell you that they are amazing in their complexity, subtle in how they change in arousal or over time or how they change as she matures. I have watched my lady loves sexy furrow change from moment to moment in arousal and year to year as we age, and post birth for all three of our kids. It is an amazing organ; it turns me on just as much now as it did when we were 22. The biggest difference is that now I know its tricks so well that I can drive my lover into paroxysms of rapture very easily now and years ago I didn’t have a clue.
Part of the appeal to me is the erotic impact that I can have on her. Because my cock and my own pleasure is not involved in this sex act, I can keep a clear head and not fall victim to my own sexual sensations and responses and the erotic hard wiring in my limbic brain. I don’t have to give in to the exquisite feelings that her pussy can induce on my cock as she caresses it in her warm wet secret place; a sensation that almost forces me to thrust and hump her with the goal of emptying my hot love cream fully and deeply in her.
I love the slow purposeful control I can exert over her body. Moreover I love it that I can give her a gift that transcends all others. . . bringing her to the thresh hold of ecstasy, teasing her higher and higher until she cant bear it any more and then coax her body to overpower her brain to deliver pussy clenching delight to her. Her orgasms from cunnilingus are infinitely more intense than they are from fucking.
Part of its appeal to me is sensory. The soft and sensual feel of her tender pussy flesh , whether it is her warm slippery and silky inner lips, or the delicate honey laden folds around the mouth of her pussy, or the velvet soft interior heat of her feminine channel, they all serve to make me want to get lost in them with my mouth and tongue, to feel her supple soft sex respond to the loving caress of my tongue and my mouth.
Beyond the feel of her silken flower is her taste. When my lady is aroused, she tastes one way; when she is not aroused she tastes another way. When she was having periods, depending where she was in her cycle she would taste differently again. She tasted different after menopause as compared to before menopause. However despite the differences alluded to here there is a fairly consistent taste to her pussy that is intoxicating to me. It is a tangy, almost sweet taste.
Last but not least is scent. You note that I use the word scent here. Never use the word odor or smell, both of which have negative connotations. All women worry that their pussies smell . . .so don’t give them fuel for their worries!!!!!
Her natural perfume is where I go off the charts. The scent of her pussy when she is aroused is one of the most sensual and erotic things about her. I am a firm believer in the power of feminine pheromones. My lady’s pussy is concentrated with them. The French have a term for it, they call it cassolette. The sweet thick scent of her pussy it its normal state can drive me wild but when she is aroused it changes to a denser more intense note. I get drunk from the musky, heady rich odor of her flower as it is opening in arousal.
There have been times when I will hug my wife in a theater after we have watched a romantic or sensual movie and the scent of her arousal will cut through her clothes and bore into my nostrils to ignite a fire in my brain that forces my cock into subconscious anguished erection. In those conditions I will drive home with one thing on my mind and one thing only …tearing her clothes off, holding her ass cheeks in my hands and kissing and licking her pussy lips, coaxing them to weep her sweet nectar into my mouth as she quakes in my hands.
But enough of waxing erotic about the sights and smells of beautiful lady bits . . . what about the act itself.
The perspective I will offer is that of someone whose favorite meal hands down is box lunch at the Y. That being said, I will give you the benefit of what I have learned over the years. I will start by saying that orgasm is never the goal of cunnilingus . . . the goal is for me to inflict on this most sensitive and tender part of her body all of the love, affection and attention I can. With the hope that my devoted effort will make her feel so divinely aroused that she can’t help but cascade into an orgasm that will cause her to twist and writhe in agonizing bliss.
First and foremost I never put pressure on her or myself by going on the field with the intent of scoring a touchdown. When I come out of the huddle by goal is to use my mouth and my brain to tease her to lose track of time, place and setting and to be washed away with the building rapture This is coming from a guy who has been making mouth love to the same woman for a very long time.
Earlier I said that cunnilingus is making love with my mouth …it is just that. My mouth is so much more agile than my cock is . . . I can do so much more with my sinuous tongue, my teeth )used very very carefully( my warm lips and the insistent suction of my mouth that I can with the lumbering club of my cock. Beyond that, her pussy is incredibly complex, intricate and sensitive. Cunnilingus is an art that requires visual acuity, tenderness, delicacy, skill and awareness. I call it thinking mans sex.
So that being said here is the advice of a man who thrives on oral pussy love:
Cunnilingus starts before her panties get eased down as she lays down on the bed. It starts before she opens her legs to share the gift of her exquisite femininity with you. Keep in mind that almost all women have some degree of embarrassment or self critical feeling about their bodies, especially their pussies. It is hard for them to understand that we find that part of them staggeringly attractive, sexy and beautiful. She needs to be really comfortable with you as a person to expose to you the most intimate and embarrassing part of her body.
Think of what she is offering you. Think that she is exposing her most secret place not only to your wanton gaze but she is offering this embarrassingly vulgar part of her body to the scrutiny of your mouth and nose. As she parts her thighs before you be a gentleman and show love, admiration, respect and amazement, even if it is the 1,000th time you have gone down on her. As hot and bothered as she may be, the thought of what she is sharing with you and the risks of sharing with you is always there. Ladies are very vulnerable about their pussies; be aware of her anxieties and respond accordingly. Tell her how beautiful her pussy is and don’t try to fool her. Women are a hell of a lot more perceptive than we are …she will tell if you are lying.
Your facial preparation is critical. The skin in and around her opening is the most sensitive skin on a woman’s body. Although the Don Johnson look may be cool while you are drinking out of the town, when you are eating in, the stubble on your chin will rub her raw. Beyond the next day discomfort you will give her, the amount of time you will spend with your mouth locked with the mouth of her gash, will guarantee her enough discomfort that she will feel the burn of her raw tender flesh not the ardent work of your tongue. Shave as closely as you can as close to the moment you will love her as you can and use a moisturizing cream to soften your own skin.
She needs to relax . . . unlike a guy …a girl needs to be totally relaxed and free from distraction to cum. If she is worried, scared, uneasy with you, self conscious of how she smells down there, tense from work, upset about the kids …it is going to be hard for her to get totally into the experience. As her lover and her sensual escort during this most intimate act, it is your job to make her forget all that stuff. It is your job to get her relaxed and into an erotic mental state. When you are done all she should be thinking about is parting her legs for you and unabashedly giving her pussy to you for your loving trusted care. To get a woman to this place it may take a back rub, wine, candles, soft music, 20 minutes of butterfly kisses all over her naked body, discovering every erogenous spot on her with your mouth or whatever; foot rubs do it for my lady …with warm oil. Each lady is different, find out what will relax her and do it, then do it again and again until all that is in your bed is a puddle of girl.
Don’t rush it; keep in mind that some women will take 25 minutes or more to be aroused to the point of orgasm. Whatever you do to her and with her … take your time. If you push her or rush her, she will lose the safe and comfortable feelings you have built up. Teasing her to rapture is the approach here. Getting her aroused is like fanning a weak ember ….you need to be gentle, steady, mindful and persistent.
Don’t rush to her magic button. Her clit is much more than that little pink pearl hiding under its fleshy shell. Consult a good female anatomy book and look where the legs of her clitoris are relative to the mouth of her vagina, learn the detailed internal anatomy of her canal. We all are aware of G spots but the floor of her vagina is just as sensitive to loving stimulation as her G sport is. There are literally dozens or places in and around her opening that will drive her wild if you take the time to figure out where they are and learn how to stim them. Each lady is different and each will have her own favorites …learn them and learn her. Her inner lips, the opening of her vagina between 9 and 11 o clock and 1 and 4 o clock, the mouth just inside of her pussy )a couple inches in( are good places to massage and lick once she is aroused. Don’t go after these areas until you can see her opening responding from arousal )opening, flushing with her own natural lube darkening and swelling(.
When she indicates that she wants more, like clit stimulation by wiggling, squirming and groaning then advance to firm but sensitive kisses around her pink button. Make sure your lips are wet. If she is aroused her pussy will be drooling so use her own honey as an indicator; if she is spewing from arousal use her own juice on your lips to kiss her.
Read her body and pussy …be observant of her body language, look and listen. Vocalizing will tell you a lot about what she is feeling and what comes next. Also read her pussy, as she gets aroused her pussy will go thru subtle and not so subtle changes learn them. Our natural instinct is to close our eyes when we are thinking and feeling what we are doing. Closed eyes will rob you of the ability to read subtle cues. Lift your head from time to time. Insistent stimulation in the same way will rob her of exquisite tension and will make her go numb. Over stimulation is a downer. By looking up you can give her tender clit a rest and it allows you to revisit another place. It also lets you look into her face and eyes to read them and get cues as to where she is at.
The only time that you should never stop clit stimulation is when she is so aroused that she is on the verge of climax. At this point many women will utter the famous feminine exclamation: don’t stop!!!!! When her orgasm is imminent her brain will send a signal to her clit to take all it can get. At this point you can be firmer, harder and a little )underscore little( more assertive on her clit. Always keep in mind that that sweet little pearl has more nerve endings than anyplace in our male bodies.
How do you know that you are there? There are many many signals. She might slowly hump your face, grab your head and hold it to her pussy, her legs may stiffen, depending on what her position is, her buttocks may tense up, she may arch her back, spread her legs wider or she may start grinding her pelvis against your mouth as she holds your mouth to her smoldering cunt. All of these signals are telling you that she wants more than you are giving her. Her pussy will darken, open, swell, and ooze her honey. Often times with my lady when she is aroused her juice will be clear and viscous like my pre cum. But when she is intensely aroused and orgasm is getting near, she will start to ooze thick pearlescent white cream. This is the stuff that is coming from the walls of her vagina and from deep inside her it is not the stuff that oozes from her bartholins glands.
This warm white honey is nectar of the gods to me. I can't get enough of it when I am edging her clit closer and closer.
When she is really – really aroused you can suckle her clit just like it was a nipple. Wrap your lips around the base, tight with her pubic bone and suck gently so that it is pulled out from under its hood into your mouth. Hold it there and use your tongue to rub the under side of her glans gently …imagine that it is like the underside of the tip of your cock. Whatever would feel good there will feel good to her as well.
Most women want the feeling of fullness in their cunts to cum. Use fingers or a dildo and follow her directions. She will tell you verbally )if she can speak at all at this point(, her hands and her body to tell you what to do. Listen to her for guidance on firmness and locational preference. My lady tends to preference delicate anal massage while I suckle her clit …every woman is different.
Vary what you are doing …continuing the same thing over and over again will make her self conscious at best or numb as previously mentioned, at worst. Keep it fresh.
Don’t be a statue. As guys we are told to be the strong and silent type. . . not when your mouth is locked with her pussy!!!! Let her know thru words and deeds that you are having a good time …many ladies will get self conscious that they are taking too long to reach orgasm particularly with a new lover. If she knows that you love what you are doing to her she won’t care how long it takes. All she will be thinking is this feels soooooo good and he looooves doing this to me.
After she cums ride with her thrusting pelvis and keep up the clit stimulation until the orgasm is about half done then ease off gently but still keep massaging. Let her clit retract under it hood and ease her down. Give her up to 30 seconds to desensitize. Before her post orgasmic twitches stop start carefully tonguing her again; if you do it carefully you may be able to catch her on the way down and tease her to a deeper rapture. Many times my lady’s second orgasm is the crescendo to the first. There have been times when she has almost lost consciousness from her second orgasm from my practiced cunnilingus. Gentle tests with kisses and tongue will help you judge if she is up for it or not.
That’s it boys and girls. Lingham’s meandering thoughts on mouth lady love. Go forth and conquer. But I repeat …the goal is never orgasm …the goal is to use your mouth to tenderly, and lovingly pack as much ecstasy into the quivering pink abyss of her pussy as you can. Pack it so full that the thick juice of her ardor oozes from her and she quivers and twists her body in testimony to her love for you and what you are doing to her. Get her to feel so good that she loses all control of her body and all self control and gives you a vulgar erotic display of her love for you as she moans a glorious erotic song of rapture for you, and only for you.