My Helix Syn journey so far

I bought my aneros less than a month ago and even though I've not had a super - o, it was not my intention (though a welcome side effect if it does happen). When I purchased it, I had bigger fish to fry.

Let me start from the beginning. I'm 39 and I think I started seeing the onset of erectile dysfunction when I was about 36. I'm an avid porn consumer and I think this may have contributed to my problem, but I still don't know. This is purely self diagnosis.

I have significant time a day away from my SO so I often find time to watch porn and edge then complete the act whenever we have sex later. But circumstances beyond my control does not guarantee completion through sex, so edging would sometimes culminate in sex that day or saved up for the next day, or simple completion when my body couldn't take it any more.

During porn consumption my penis is usually hard as a rock until a few years ago when I started noticing it took more to get me off online and my penis wasnt getting as hard with what used to turn me on. Ive heard of porn induced desensitization before, and rewiring on this site. I'm an addict and I can't help but think this is what I had done through over consumption.

Eventually this spilled over into the bedroom and many a night I'd be unable to perform. This happened gradually. It felt like the sparks were firing but the pistons
just weren't moving. Had I become desensitized? Re-wired?

So I started finding excuses to refrain from sex. I still watched porn and would get hard and masturbate, but my SO suffered the consequences of a partner with the onset of ED too embarrassed to admit it.

And then it happened. One morning, about a year after the symptoms began, I woke up with an urgency to fuck! I couldn't tell you if it was a physical sensation as my penis was still semi solid or mental as I didn't recall having an erotic dream. I just know I couldn't keep my hands off my growing dick. My SO was not available due to circumstances mentioned earlier. I had to hurriedly masturbate to porn before I left for work.

This episode both scared and reassured me. My understanding of male physiology had never been definitively clear and I am believer (not practicer) in Chinese healing and accupunture. So even before my assumptions of re-wiring continue to be confirmed, I had an inkling that it was not all plumbing. There was something bigger playing behind the scenes.

My journey online into the causes and cures of erectile dysfunction eventually led me here. After doing some research I purchased a prostrate massager. Not a definitive cure of ED but rumblings online suggested it wouldn't hurt. The helix syn had good reviews for a novice so I got one, and that is the beginning of a new adventure I'm eager to document.

Prostrate massage is something I stumbled upon online and attempted to do myself externally before I even heard of aneros. I'd take a hot bath. Smoke some weed and proceed to scrub my taint with a wash rug. It felt good a couple of times and I'd proceed to wash my ass vigorously and that would feel nice as well. I just thought massaging that area would get the juices flowing. An exercise I believe to have undertaken the night before I had woken up so horny. Not sure, but it had me asking questions about my wiring.

Aneros arrives sooner than I expected and I set some time the next day to give it a whirl. I'm excited because this is the cure or at least alleviant of what I presume to have. I take a hot bath, lay In the bed as prescribed and apply the lubricant that came with the device around my anus, on it and proceed to massage it in. Not quite. I've never had anything back there so this is going to be a challenge.

I've never really spent much time on my ass and the feeling was unusual. I do have hemorrhoid flare ups and I must say it wasn't comfortable massaging the helix syn down there. If it hurts stop was the only mantra I kept echoing. So after about 45 mins of massaging the rim and using almost half a bottle of sessions lube I gave up and went to bed.

The next day my ass hurt a little and knowing I had not achieved insertion with this side effect was discouraging. Nevertheless I kept up the research both here and online and learnt some techniques to relax my sphincter. I still took a hot bath. Paid extra attention down there. Tried turning off tv to meditate but still pain with attempted insertion. Now I was just seeking a refund.

Then about two days later during the course of the workday I got increasingly hornier. Mind you I hadn't successfully inserted the helix yet but somehow the ass play of the last days had done something to my drive. I was super horny and spotted a thick erection for the SO that night. Porn and edging earlier still played a part but not necessary. Merely applied as a desperate attempt to not lose this fleeting moment. SO was pleasantly surprised.

Feeling encouraged I proceeded to continue my sessions in private and incorporated the use of vaseline in conjunction with the water based lube to coax insertion. Id finger my ass with a glob of vaseline where id just coat the rim and gently work my middle finger until i finally got it down to the second knuckle. Felt super weird. I then coated the aneros with water lube only and slowly and fearfully pushed it in.

I felt it in my stomach. Not ecstasy. But sheer discomfort. I was waiting to feel this thing introduce itself to my prostrate but instead it just dug at my ass and made me feel like my ass was on fire. I proceeded to lay on my side as instructed and start some anal contractions. No joy, no moans, no seizures. That was to be expected. No pre-cum? That I was expecting. So after 45 minutes I attempted to pull this thing out, but noooo. I had to shit this thing out as it felt painful. Was I doing it wrong?

So after seeing blood after the first insertion I figured aneros was not for me. I figured id let myself heal for a couple of days and seek alternative treatment. And then this happened.

The next day every thing that oozed sexuality I perceived in ultra HD. The tight jeans in the supermarket. I noticed. The tight sweater running for the bus. I noticed. Even the giraffe hindquarters on national geographic channel. I noticed. And my dick twitched every time with a new awakening. I could command an erection on demand. Get super hard with no stimulus but my brain. I was back!

My SO reaped the benefits (and the cost) of my new prowess. Sex had a new purpose. I was confident and it showed. I walked taller and didnt shy from engaging flirtatously. Almost dangerously. It showed.

The next session with aneros was still uncomfortable but i incorporated porn and edged to the point my penis was taught and open. Yes open. No super o or involuntaries to speak of but i was hard as a rock. I completed manually with aneros in me. Not recommended.

I could now will erections on demand and for two days in a row I gave my SO nights to remember. I was firmer, thicker, confident but most disturbingly unable to cum. I smoked and drank both nights and i thought that was not such a bad thing when your SO is curled up in a quivering ball grinning with sexual satisfaction. I was re-wired or so i thought.

Agreeing to meet on the third night to take care of me, my SO was unable to recipriocate due to aforementioned forseen circumstances. This left me to my own vices. I was aching with this build up but opted to wait. Painfully edging myself and then totally ignoring porn. I waited till my stomach hurt. Went to bed.

Then it was gone. i woke up with no stomach pain. My libido had dropped and my penis when induced would feel numb on one side. I couldn't will an erection like l
i had the previous week and when it came time to take care of me, my penis limped along semi solid. I did ejaculate but with a semi soft penis.

Hmmm. I was scared again. But the very next morning I woke up with an erection that put my SO right back to sleep. I then came again manually later on that day. What is going on?

Today i had plans for us this morning but circumstances arose so i slipped- not quite- the aneros in this afternoon and finished off with it in me hoping the orgasmic thrusts will push or pull something in there that gave me those two glorious nights. No super o for me yet, and I may not be seeking them either. I just want my dick to work and I think aneros and I are on to something. Keep you posted on my journey. All feed back is welcome. Thanks