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09/29/2022 12:01 pm
I started experimenting with prostate play about 5.5 years ago in the winter of 2017. I bought my first Aneros in April 2019. I have several different models at this point (Eupho Syn Classic, Helix Trident, MGX Trident, Calexotics Eclipse (vibrating), Progasm Black Ice, Peridise, Helix Syn V, Eupho Trident) and have used them all quite a bit.
In all these years, I have had some good sessions with new and exciting feelings, but I have had a lot of sessions that I didn’t feel the pleasure I was hoping for and a lot of sessions where I have felt next to nothing with a prostate toy.
I’ve been resilient though…I just keep having sessions and keep experimenting. This past week I think I am actually starting to have some breakthroughs. I am feeling more full-body pleasure and more beautiful tingling, as subtle as it still is. I think I have finally figure out how to relax my body to initiate p-waves. It’s all a very exciting progression!
My point is that I really wish I could point to something and say “that’s the thing I did to awaken my prostate!” I wish I had some really profound advice to give to others who are struggling out there, but the truth is…I don’t. I don’t know why my body is starting to figure this out after more than 5 years.
It sucks to hear that it could take some of us years to feel this pleasure and that “you just have to keep trying” without any golden hacks to get there. But I think that is what I am here to say. I have definitely had a lot of days when I wanted to give up on prostate play because it wasn’t working…and I still may have a step backward in my near future. So, here is my advice…keep having sessions, try not to get frustrated (this is REALLY hard at times), and take breaks when you are feeling discouraged and hopeless. You will usually have an urge to start back up in a week or two after getting a good mental break.
I think we can all get to the pleasure point…I hope I have finally gotten to the runway and am ready to take off soon. Some bodies get it real quick and those guys are lucky. Some of our bodies/prostates are pretty stubborn, but I do think eventually they will figure it out in their own time…it just may require some (maybe a lot) of patience and perseverance.
09/29/2022 3:29 pm
Yeah I suspect there's body learning. But also a plethora of mental factors that we aren't even aware of... and even if we became aware of some of them, they'd still defy words. And even if they didn't defy words, our interpretation of the experience might be incomplete, and the person on the reading-end might not relate to it in the intended way... there are lots of layers of possible error.
Like a while back, I became aware during a session that I was way more "in my body" than usual (which had a very positive impact). If you'd asked me years ago whether I felt like I was more in my head or in my body, I'd have shrugged.
I do still believe in sharing advice, because it might lead to some personal discovery, even if indirectly. You might shake loose something unexpected. But equally, I think it's important to cast off that advice every once in a while, because there may be something about it you're taking too far, or too literally. Like recently I've found I was taking "no expectations" too literally, to the point it was hampering my arousal. Anticipation is a component of arousal, and ditching all expectations can take anticipation with it. So I think you can be following the right advice in the wrong way.
09/29/2022 3:53 pm
Some bodies get it real quick and those guys are lucky. Some of our bodies/prostates are pretty stubborn, but I do think eventually they will figure it out in their own time…it just may require some (maybe a lot) of patience and perseverance.
At some point I thought that lots of guys should be able to get most things figured out in 6 months or so. But I think it's been longer than that since my last good O, so... yeah.
You may not be the same guy you were 5 years ago, and I'm certainly not the same guy I was even 2 years ago. I'm not old but I'm older, my life circumstances are different. Even if you know everything about theory, and you internalized everything, and you do all the right moves and take all the right paths during a session, it's possible that your body is not in a position to deliver a Super-O. And that's ok. This is why your advice to take breaks as needed if an important one. People might be doing everything right already, and not even know it. Sometimes things need to be fixed outside of sessions, then progress picks up again.
And of course, congratulations on your progress! What's important is that you did not give up. I hope improvement will come to you fast and strong and that big Os are right around the corner.
09/29/2022 3:59 pm
Like recently I've found I was taking "no expectations" too literally, to the point it was hampering my arousal. Anticipation is a component of arousal, and ditching all expectations can take anticipation with it. So I think you can be following the right advice in the wrong way.
Oh, that's a nice one! Very true. I think the same about "do-nothing", if you are focused too strongly on doing nothing, it's easy to shut down light invols and other light body spams that could evolve into something productive.
It does not mean that the approach is not good, but as you said, there is a need to find balance.
Topic starter
09/29/2022 4:19 pm
Yeah I suspect there's body learning. But also a plethora of mental factors that we aren't even aware of... and even if we became aware of some of them, they'd still defy words. And even if they didn't defy words, our interpretation of the experience might be incomplete, and the person on the reading-end might not relate to it in the intended way... there are lots of layers of possible error.
Like a while back, I became aware during a session that I was way more "in my body" than usual (which had a very positive impact). If you'd asked me years ago whether I felt like I was more in my head or in my body, I'd have shrugged.
I do still believe in sharing advice, because it might lead to some personal discovery, even if indirectly. You might shake loose something unexpected. But equally, I think it's important to cast off that advice every once in a while, because there may be something about it you're taking too far, or too literally. Like recently I've found I was taking "no expectations" too literally, to the point it was hampering my arousal. Anticipation is a component of arousal, and ditching all expectations can take anticipation with it. So I think you can be following the right advice in the wrong way.
Extremely well said, @clenchy!
I definitely agree about the mental factors and I probably lumped that in with the overall “body learning”, but the mental state and the way we interpret things is a huge part of that.
And I definitely agree in sharing advice. I didn’t mean to downplay the value of sharing our ideas and experiences with each other. There are a lot of good nuggets of information in my head that I learned from others and I definitely draw on those all the time. The thing that surprised me is I always thought there would be a certain technique that helped me “click”. But looking back at the recent past, I can’t pinpoint any one thing that helped me take this step. That may be because there are a lot of background processes in our mind that we aren’t even aware of. Our body and mind probably make progress that we don’t even know about…and then we are rewarded with a pleasant surprise one day.
Topic starter
09/29/2022 4:28 pm
You may not be the same guy you were 5 years ago, and I'm certainly not the same guy I was even 2 years ago. I'm not old but I'm older, my life circumstances are different. Even if you know everything about theory, and you internalized everything, and you do all the right moves and take all the right paths during a session, it's possible that your body is not in a position to deliver a Super-O. And that's ok. This is why your advice to take breaks as needed if an important one. People might be doing everything right already, and not even know it. Sometimes things need to be fixed outside of sessions, then progress picks up again.
And of course, congratulations on your progress! What's important is that you did not give up. I hope improvement will come to you fast and strong and that big Os are right around the corner.
Thanks @zentai! I think back to when you offered to teach me almost 2 years ago! We had some fantastic discussions and I learned a lot, even if I didn’t make the amount of progress I was hoping for. I think it all adds up to produce success in the end, but you are right, I think you can know the theory and make the right moves, but still not be ready. It’s not easy for us to accept when it’s not on our timeline…and that probably just adds to anxiety that pulls us further away.
I’m really glad I didn’t give up, even though it was hard to see a path to success for a long time. I’m excited for my next session and I can tell that my A-less sessions are getting better each day…good things are coming!!
09/29/2022 4:41 pm
Time flies! Back then I probably told you that arousal was not that important, as long as you were able to build it as the session progressed. Now today, I'm 100% sure I have arousal issues. I like to think I know my way around S-Os, and I did tons of troubleshooting, but I'm forced to admit that no Super-O can happen until I get this fixed, no matter how many tweaks and mind tricks I add to the mix.
This does not mean I cannot have sessions for prostate health and to keep the involved muscles toned, but it does mean that chasing Os is not something I need to spend energy on. I know what I need to do, but without the arousal, I get stuck in the lower levels. Everything else is fine, but without that vital element, no Os.
09/29/2022 5:28 pm
Is it possible age has to do with the speed (or not) of progress? Is my 68 year old prostate more difficult or stubborn to change it's ways versus a young twentyish or thirtyish prostate?
I've always wondered about that.
09/29/2022 8:38 pm
Our body and mind probably make progress that we don’t even know about…and then we are rewarded with a pleasant surprise one day.
I agree, thats the thing one has to learn to trust is happening. I am a do nothing, I think it works for me because I trust that whether I am feeling it or not, I know that something is is being served internally. I think we often take things for granted. For instance, I start writing here and my prostate starts to throb, and sorry gotta go, this is good, really good. Will finish this thought later
09/30/2022 9:05 am
Thing is,there are golden hacks in here from many people. I’ve shared some fairly simple ones of my own like the one on the homework post as well as many others. Why doesn’t it work? Mindset mostly. Mindset is just not something that can be taught. Guys who’ve super o’d on the first day already had it,some have to learn it,and some refuse to learn,sticking with siege mentality. Others have problems with relationship,sex lives,porn and other things but don’t face them. It becomes apparent after a time that the journey is more a game of mental discipline than than anything else and each man does have to find a way to engage his by himself.
09/30/2022 10:06 am
There are many fantastic techniques out there, including your own, as well as several little cheats people can use to squeeze out the last drops of pleasure. But it's useless to have the silver bullet if you have no gun to put it in... Mindset only carries so far until your body stops you, and the reverse is also true. Men struggling with their progress are facing one or the other. Like I said above, it's totally possible to do everything right and still not be rewarded.
I don't believe you have to fix everything in your life to achieve super-Os, nor do I think hyper-responders have some "special" mindset, especially those who get results almost by surprise. This would mean we'd have to forget everything we know in order to progress, which is not an easy task.
Of course, better life = better Os is true. While Super-Os should be an awesome motivation to fix things, if you never experienced them, then it's hard to get a grasp on how incredibly worth it they are. So that particular carrot is not as effective as it should be.
09/30/2022 10:14 am
I have become convinced that there is an incompressible time needed to reach the super-O, which is different for everyone. It may be zero, for the very lucky, or many many years for the less lucky. I don't think it is possible to reduce this time (except perhaps with drugs, but I don't do that), you can only lengthen it by making mistakes, not working, giving up, following bad advice etc...
The main thing is to keep working at the fundamentals: arousal, focus, relaxation, breathing, muscle control, exploring your body and so on. It may not seem to make any difference at the time, but the day will come when something will click and your body will be able to put all this preparation to good use.
09/30/2022 10:36 am
Mindset only carries so far until your body stops you, and the reverse is also true.
Without getting one’s head in the game,there isn’t anything to stop. Some feel plenty,and learn small pieces of progress,but only focus on the fact it wasn’t a super o. Others get there and just don’t want to belief it such a high pedestal they’ve put it on.
I don't believe you have to fix everything in your life to achieve super-Os,
I’m not saying you do. But if something is blocking the path you want to go down,it needs dealt with. I recall a comment from a member that mostly, watching porn did nothing for him,except for an odd time where it would make him horny. That tells me he struggles big time with arousal,probably from watching too much porn,arousal being one of the key components of an orgasm. If he won’t fix that,nothing will change. Others posting that they are very unhealthy and struggle to feel pleasure at all,if they won’t fix it,nothing will change. Things like this.
This would mean we'd have to forget everything we know in order to progress
I’m sure this falls under the banner of ‘paradigm shift in thinking’.
While Super-Os should be an awesome motivation to fix things, if you never experienced them, then it's hard to get a grasp on how incredibly worth it they are. So that particular carrot is not as effective as it should be.
Well,with the right mindset,smalL discoveries are made and lay the foundations on which to build a super-o. The carrot is effective when we’re in the right place. That’s my point.
09/30/2022 11:26 am
Some feel plenty,and learn small pieces of progress,but only focus on the fact it wasn’t a super o. Others get there and just don’t want to belief it such a high pedestal they’ve put it on.
Good point. This is not so much having high expectations as it is moving the goalposts. You need to have appreciation for what you get, otherwise it's impossible to make the effort = reward connection work for you.
[...] arousal being one of the key components of an orgasm. If he won’t fix that,nothing will change. Others posting that they are very unhealthy and struggle to feel pleasure at all,if they won’t fix it,nothing will change. Things like this.
Agreed. Even if no heavy-ass squats are involved, I'm still almost 20 pounds (!!!) heavier than at my worst, obviously eating better, etc. I hope I do not have to dive much deeper in the self-improvement pound because some other stuff will be much harder to fix.
Well,with the right mindset,smalL discoveries are made and lay the foundations on which to build a super-o. The carrot is effective when we’re in the right place. That’s my point.
If I can elaborate on this, then sometimes it looks like a limp gnarly carrot, and not worth the effort. It's not the golden carrot with sparkles and angel choir that lives in your dreams.
After managing to screw things up for myself, and trying to get back in the game, I'm paying the toll by being a beginner again. But just like muscle memory, you can never truly start from zero again. So it's easy for me to recognize some small elements of progress in what others would call dud sessions, because I know the way. So, I can say: "ok this is part of a rough seas buildup, but it won't pan out because my arousal is junk", or "I see how this could lead to calm seas, but my focus is not there."
In 20 eventless sessions, I can still observe some progress, and recognize moments where I was close enough to say I did not "break" my Super-O mechanism and it will happen again at some point. So yeah, I'm not giving up, I can keep my eyes on the prize.
People who are not acquainted with Super-Os, on the other hand, would be inclined to think no progress is being made, or even that some things do not count as progress. I guess that's where faith comes in, but again, that's a lot to ask in some circumstances.
09/30/2022 11:30 am
Our body and mind probably make progress that we don’t even know about…and then we are rewarded with a pleasant surprise one day.
I agree, thats the thing one has to learn to trust is happening. I am a do nothing, I think it works for me because I trust that whether I am feeling it or not, I know that something is is being served internally. I think we often take things for granted. For instance, I start writing here and my prostate starts to throb, and sorry gotta go, this is good, really good. Will finish this thought later
There you go, not a super dooper O, but a really good session , none the less. Super O, not important, enjoying the process, very important. Because the reality is, these feelings aren't normal, none of this is normal. The small increments of increased pleasure is just incredible, the fact that my body is reacting at all is incredible, and I don't take any of it for granted. I have grown so much sexually. I can feel myself being fucked by an imaginary dick, just with my mind now. I can start aless with just a fleeting thought. I can't understand, years of chaseing something that may never happen, and not fully enjoying what is happening, and I mean fully. You are right about a paradigm mind change, as in fully enjoying all ya get, and don't take things for granted. I can think of at least 20 things that have happened since I started with aneros, that years of jerking off, could or have ever afforded me.
09/30/2022 11:52 am
I have become convinced that there is an incompressible time needed to reach the super-O, which is different for everyone. It may be zero, for the very lucky, or many many years for the less lucky. I don't think it is possible to reduce this time (except perhaps with drugs, but I don't do that), you can only lengthen it by making mistakes, not working, giving up, following bad advice etc...
The main thing is to keep working at the fundamentals: arousal, focus, relaxation, breathing, muscle control, exploring your body and so on. It may not seem to make any difference at the time, but the day will come when something will click and your body will be able to put all this preparation to good use.
This is great ! I completely agree with you second paragraph, and you have the fundamentals figured out perfectly.
As for the first part, there's a different way to see things that for me, turns it on its head completely. I think there is a set number of things you need to experience and process until you reach Super-Os. This can happen in one session, or in a hundred. I think we should not be counting in term of weeks or months, but in term of milestones. Five successful sessions in a row will propel you much faster forward than 10 lackluster ones. So yes, mistakes and bad decisions can add up and slow progress. On the flip side, two months of progress can be seen in a single session.
The idea that right at the start, there is some invisible counter over your head, that could read 2 weeks or 20 years, and there's nothing you can do to speed it up, man, that's just horrible. I don't want to believe that if you start later in life, you just might run out of time because you drew a bad number. No Super-Os for you, you lose. That's really dark...
09/30/2022 12:08 pm
I’ve been resilient though…I just keep having sessions and keep experimenting. This past week I think I am actually starting to have some breakthroughs. I am feeling more full-body pleasure and more beautiful tingling, as subtle as it still is. I think I have finally figure out how to relax my body to initiate p-waves. It’s all a very exciting progression!
This is the building of a mindset right here. Resilient.Pushing onwards,experimenting with the pieces. Acceptance of breakthroughs. Look at the language,not tingling,but ‘beautiful’ tingling,seeing the value and progression in things. Not “yea,had a session,felt some minor things,no super o,damn” “exciting progress”. This is the path to be on in my opinion. 7 my dear boy,you’re starting to believe in yourself :).
09/30/2022 12:15 pm
The idea that right at the start, there is some invisible counter over your head, that could read 2 weeks or 20 years, and there's nothing you can do to speed it up, man, that's just horrible. I don't want to believe that if you start later in life, you just might run out of time because you drew a bad number. No Super-Os for you, you lose. That's really dark...
Mindset speeds up the counter,but then you knew I was going to say that hahaha!
Topic starter
09/30/2022 5:37 pm
This is the building of a mindset right here. Resilient.Pushing onwards,experimenting with the pieces. Acceptance of breakthroughs. Look at the language,not tingling,but ‘beautiful’ tingling,seeing the value and progression in things. Not “yea,had a session,felt some minor things,no super o,damn” “exciting progress”. This is the path to be on in my opinion. 7 my dear boy,you’re starting to believe in yourself :).
Thanks @helghast! I think you are correct that the right mindset and a belief in myself is definitely coming into focus. There is a real excitement for each of my upcoming sessions and I have gotten to a point where I am enjoying all aspects of the ride.
Another milestone we must reach is the transition from “following the instruction book” to “experimenting and playing without restraint”. What I mean by this is, early in our Aneros journey, we do a lot of reading of the forum and listening to what other people have experienced. We go into a session trying to “follow the steps” and backing off on a certain technique because “so-and-so” said not to do that on the forum. I think you are not truly free to experience the pleasure.
At some point along the journey, you feel more free to enjoy the ride and experiment with new things as they happen. All that information from others on the forum is still accessible in your head, but it’s more like you are noticing these things along the way instead of using them as hard and fast rules. This is where it becomes enjoyable and you start to soak up the pleasure…at least that’s the way I see it right now.
10/01/2022 3:08 am
The idea that right at the start, there is some invisible counter over your head, that could read 2 weeks or 20 years, and there's nothing you can do to speed it up, man, that's just horrible. I don't want to believe that if you start later in life, you just might run out of time because you drew a bad number. No Super-Os for you, you lose. That's really dark...
Well, I did start later in life (57). I would say that the idea that I can do nothing to shorten the "base" time to a super O actually helps me not to sweat it. I'm not torturing myself thinking "if only I could find that special trick I would crack it". So I just relax and enjoy the journey, with its many ups and rare downs. Maybe I will never make it, or maybe I will make it tomorrow, I just don't know. It's not that I don't care, I just don't worry about it. I see it as a kind of philosophy.
What would be horrible, to me anyway, would be to actually know in advance how long it would take, if that meant waiting for years. Somewhat like knowing when you are going to die. I doubt if many people would persist if they knew the super-O was many years off.
The problem is of course that you can't force the super-O, because it beyond the control of your conscious mind. We are all schizophrenic, to the extent that there is somebody in our heads who has powers we don't. He can make our heart beat fast when we want it to beat slowly, he can make our face red when we are ashamed, he can give us an erection when we least want it, or a limp dick at the worst moment. He can give us skin problems like eczema and psoriasis, and many other horrible things. He can be a real SOB when he wants to. Unfortunately, I believe he is the SOB who can also give us super-Os.
So the objective has to be getting in phase with your "superego", identifying things which rile him up, and not doing them, finding things he likes and doing them instead. Easier said than done!
10/01/2022 6:08 am
In my case things keep getting better with age like a fine wine! Have been doing anal and prostate toys for over 6 years and lately the Aless has been mind blowing! Wakes me up early in the morning to intense pleasure! Starts out slowly as my anus twitches then the prostate joins in and soon pwaves are going down my legs and up my back. Then my perenium and balls join in to sing harmonies! By the way am 77 for the record! Lol so hang in there and you will enjoy the journey!!
10/01/2022 8:37 am
In my case things keep getting better with age like a fine wine! Have been doing anal and prostate toys for over 6 years and lately the Aless has been mind blowing! Wakes me up early in the morning to intense pleasure! Starts out slowly as my anus twitches then the prostate joins in and soon pwaves are going down my legs and up my back. Then my perenium and balls join in to sing harmonies! By the way am 77 for the record! Lol so hang in there and you will enjoy the journey!!
Hanging in there is the last thing on my mind. My question was more from a scientific (and phisical) point of view and not about my level of pleasures. I've been at this game about ½ a year more than you and the description of your level of enjoyment is a carbon copy of where I also am.
For me, every day, I enjoy a basket-full of pleasures but just short of meeting ‘the big one'. I don't worry about ever experiencing a Super-O as I couldn't ask for more great sensations. If my body/mind/prostate decide to offer me one, of course I would be delighted but I no longer chase it. I feel I have more pleasures today at 68 than I probably had in my teens.
Thanks to Aneros, I'm on an incredible journey that, unfortunately, most men will never know about.
Thank you for your words of encouragement. They will certainly be useful for other readers. I'll enjoy another glass of fine wine with you!
10/01/2022 11:52 am
A life time of dealing with "complicated" machinery has taught me to approach everything, especially pleasure, with simplicity. Firstly, "Don't worry be happy". Then set aside a few hours of personal time in the most comfortable place available. Shower, smell good and then, in my case rest in the darkened bedroom. After a few minutes of feeling comfortable I lube myself and the Progasm, gently insert it and just feel the sensations. At this point I may intermittently, do some kegels, lightly touch my body especially the nipples and just enjoy the sensations. And that's it. With nothing but time to relax I am aware of but not focused on the pleasurable sensations. During this time I will experience multiple orgasmic sensations with uncontrollable body movement, vocal expressions of pleasure, (that appear to be coming from some one other than me) that will eventually calm and/or exhaust me to the point of falling asleep for a short time. Many times I wake up and repeat. Or just get up, relaxed and refreshed with a comfortable 'buzz' that lasts for, sometimes, a day.
I just wanted to share that and thank Aneros for enriching my life.
10/08/2022 1:18 pm
whether I am feeling it or not, I know that something is is being served internally
Words like these put me back on track when I feel low about my lack of progression. Thanks for saying them.
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