What's it take?

Hi retread,

Welcome to the Forum, you've asked the million $ question. The frustration you are experiencing is a very common phenomenon with new Aneros users. I would highly recommend that you read the Sticky posts written by B.Mayfield titled "B's Keys to the Backdoor" & "B's Best of the BEE-Line", additionally read the Sticky titled "GLOSSARY" by 'darwin', if you haven't already read them. If you have already read them a refresher read might help pick up a nugget of information that can tip the scales for you.

From your description of events, I would say you've made good progress, having reached a number of the "milestones" along the path. You are correct in understanding the super-O can not be "made" to happen like a traditional penile orgasm. Relaxation of muscles other than those that serve to move the aneros is important, but some muscle groups will naturally tend to tense up as your excitement increases, in particular abdominal muscles are frequently reported as tightening up. This is to be expected, so don't try to focus on forcing them to relax, as that takes focus away from the tingling sensations you want to encourage.

This process of "re-wiring" can vary widely from individual to individual, some users get to a super-O almost immediately, others have taken more than a year to reach that goal. In any case your journey is going to be unique for you, what you will be learning about yourself will be valuable and enjoyable, the process is very much worth the effort. Try to suspend expectations of results, relax and enjoy the ride for the pleasing sensations you DO receive, patience is greatly needed in this process. Try to understand that you are learning to read the many subtle sensations that are the only form of communication your body has to converse with your conscious mind. Try to be patient in this learning process as you are both teacher and student at the same time.