What is wrong with me ?

Hi xaero (quake 3 right?) reading your post reminded me so much of my own journey in lots of ways, though I am straight, i first started using the aneros in 2005 to expand my sexual knowledge.

It took me close to 10 years (!) to feel anything because I wanted to feel something too much. I even forced the session one day and hurt my prostate. I was so angry and frustrated with my progress and yes, it too made me depressed.

What helped me was subtlety, I made sure I focused on various contractions, holding ones for 10 seconds, releasing and repeating. What I also did was to use a peredise, second to smallest one and not put lots of power into these contractions, just subtle, gentle, regular.

I also did simultaneous nipple stimulation too, it took a further year or so but now I feel good things. I still have sessions that fall short but I feel 'something' now, every session. Bigger devices for me just didn't work.

One technique that worked for me was the lying on bed with feet on the bed and legs bent as you do but then to lift your legs and feet off the bed and bring your knees up to your chest, It sometimes felt great doing this.

Don't give up, it took me 10 years nearly, I ranted, I raved, I made lots of angry posts here and I was real low, but sometimes these things take time.

@xaero I tried using aneros with my back on the bed. I could never get it to work.I then tried it laying on my side and after a number of sessions it started to work.
It took another 6 months to get good constant p-waves from then on.
Try laying on your side for 10 or so sessions and see if that helps.
It cant hurt to try. The same suggestion has worked for a number of other newbies so it may work for you too.

I think I must be gifted... I had good sensations the very first time! 😛

Hi, i can try to help you in online cam session in skype. I give many boys already instruction how to cum handsfree and how to use their aneros. I have also myself sessions with aneros, sometimes i feel nothing and another time something happened. I get waves of pleasure and start to ooze precum very much. If you want i can try to teach you in skype. Add my skype name: bestofholland

I have been at this for 2 1/2 years and I am getting very frustrated myself. I feel many sensations but I don't think I am getting p waves or any of the above that will take me to the next level. I have however felt myself on the verge of something about to happen but I don't know how to get over the hump. Every time I think I am making progress with something new I can never repeat that feeling. I think I may be having trouble relaxing into it because when I feel a great sensation come on my body jumps and clenches up (which most of the time I can't control)and the feeling dies down. I do believe the do nothing theory works that's when I have seen the most progress but sometimes I relax too much and it goes away so I am trying to find the place somewhere in the middle. I sometimes get better results with strong contraction then sometimes with very light contractions which also confussses me. I have tried many positions but the best one is when I'm in my reclining chair feet up knees bent and mostly sitting up. I am hoping one day soon I can have and feel what the others are experiencing on this site. I am trying to enjoy the journey as they say but I am slightly bummed I have not felt any orgasmic feelings yet. I plan to continue my journey so I say don't give up. Sorry I have no words to help anyone out yet but soon as I do I plan to share as everyone on this site has been so helpful good luck to you. By the way I am sorry for my rambling this is my first post and I am not good at writing.
Thanks again to all for your words of wisdom!!
Patrick

@xaero, just want to reassure you that when you're ready, you will enjoy bottoming even if you haven't gotten anything from the aneros yet. That has been my experience. The 2 things are related but not identical. I learned to bottom in my 30s but it took me a while to relax enough to enjoy it. Besides the physical stimulation there is the arousal from having a man penetrate you and you submitting. Prostate and anal stimulation add to this arousal. Now at 67 years old I'm discovering the joys of prostate play with aneros massagers. I didn't feel anything at first either even though I had good experiences with bottoming. It took me a while to even recognize the sensation of the device inside me. Then I had to learn to relax which was harder than I thought. I'm still discovering things that prevent me from letting go completely. Even so I gradually began to notice small pleasure sensations that I had missed earlier. I built on these and eventually had a mini orgasm, then calm seas orgasms, anal orgasms, etc. Still no super orgasms yet. I consider this time of my life as training myself through self-discovery. It's individual to me as I'm sure your experience is individual to you. But I think that all men are capable of great pleasure and growth if given enough time and encouragement. Perhaps there's something that's holding you back from completely relaxing into your body? Perhaps you can get some tips and encouragement in aneros chat? You seem to be doing things as recommended in the wiki. Perhaps discouragement is the last expectation that you need to let go of? Best wishes and keep in touch.

Hello, I really need help.
...I am getting extremely depressive. All I read is everyone having P-waves, extreme pleasure and a lot super ogasm.
...What is wrong with me ?
...Why can’t I have any kind of pleasure ?
...This is a really hard thing for me, I am gay and sexually I only want to be ‘’bottom’’ which mean I want to be fucked. But I don’t feel anal pleasure… Does that mean I will never have anal fun ?
...Please help me I’m getting extremely sad, this is killing me, Why can’t I be like everyone?Frustration, anxiety and desperation bordering on obsessive thinking are what seem to be working against you here. I also intuit a certain level of cognitive dissonance at issue here. Have you read the thread Identifying Obstacles to Progress? It may provide you with some clues to the issues which may be affecting you.
In all likelihood there is nothing dysfunctional about your prostate, especially if you have already consulted with your doctor. Your sexual inexperience is certainly a factor to be considered here as well. It sounds to me that perhaps the timing is not quite right for you to be taking on this journey and that you may benefit from some counseling regarding your entry into the sexual landscape of adulthood. Perhaps it would be best to put aside your Aneros Adventure for awhile and simply get some more life experiences. Your Aneros will still be waiting for you regardless of the time duration spent apart and when you are ready to take on this journey, with more life tools at hand, the adventure may unfold entirely differently. I wish you all the best in putting aside and resolving the issues of turmoil in your mind.
Good Vibes to You !

I would say thank you for all of your comments, i appreciate.

@rumel

I readed about it and i don't really understand what is cognitive dissonance. Maybe i should go see a psy or sexo ?
What ever, i think your right, i should let it go for a while. I just wanted to have a good anal sexuality alone since i have to partner.
I think i am comparing myself too much to other, i have to learn to stop that.

@euphemistic

So the arousal being with a man is enough to enjoy even if we don't feel an anal pleasure ? I don,t understand why sexuality stress me. I mean it is not supposed to be a stressful thing, it is supposed to be fun. I just hate that i don't know what i will feel and with my aneros experience, thats just freak me out. But thank you, you reasured me and made me feel more calm lol.

@inhope

Reading what you said makes me feel that i am not alone even if i know that im not alone. But it is really sad! 10 years! 🙁

@aneros_user86949 ( patrick )

Thank you for your comment

@camcumhandsfree

I'm not sure to understand how you could help me via skype on cam lol

@Bartolo99

I hope you enjoy your gift

@bravenewworld

I will try it for sure 🙂 Thank you

@xaero I team with @euphemistic and @Rumel in noting that Aneros play requires an exceptional degree of relaxation for the first faint sensations to emerge. Much of our work in Aneros Chat involves teaching relaxation skills and suggesting various forms of meditation to help.

Desire and the need to control one's session regularly overpower those first sensations. Cultivating those sensations is essential to become totally receptive to either Dame Aneros; or, I would imagine the amorous male bent upon the penetration that you seek.

Sounds like you are cut from the right fabric to become a perfect Power Bottom ... http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=power+bottom ..

Hang in there and, "remember to breathe"

@xaero, I didn't mean to say you wouldn't have anal pleasure with a man. On the contrary I think you will have great pleasure, anal and otherwise. Don't worry about the Aneros experience. You'll be fine. The only trick for me was relaxing my anal sphincters enough to be penetrated. Being aroused helps, and having your partner know about your nervousness and trusting them.

Good books to read are the Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein and Felice Picano, and Anal Pleasure and Health by Jack Morin. If you can find these in your language I think they can inform you as they have informed me.

xearo, try out the peredise, it literally opened up everything for me, I'm not guaranteeing it but it could help you to focus in some way.

Without the peredise i would not be having success I'm having now.

@inhope. Reading your post above is encouraging. Just thinking of the posts you were making not so long ago, and how things have changed for the good. 🙂

@inhope. Reading your post above is encouraging. Just thinking of the posts you were making not so long ago, and how things have changed for the good. 🙂

yes quite, though ironically I've made a new one about something I'm trying to overcome, comments welcome (see xaero, its always a learning process and we all falter!)