What happened?

for the lurkers who are thinking of giving up:

Okay. Long story short, i purchased this YEARS ago. Deemed it a failure. Figured it was overblown tantric nonsense. Add in words like mindgasm. Whatever. Tried it by myself, with a fwb and with my ex. Every session ended with a penile orgasm that was slightly different. I put it away.

flash to a few days ago- found it and thought “why not” went onto the forum after years read the propaganda and buzzwords like Aless, super os, relax.

I popped it in and laid there like an idiot for 30 minutes trying to “relax” “quiet my mind” “not focus on an orgasm” i even tried faking it, doing stupid pelvic thrusts and purposeful shaking to maybe jump start it. Yeah that was embarrassing in hindsight. I decided to just jack off with it in, COOL.

The next day, i saw it just chillin there figured i was due for a regular orgasm that day anyway and did the same but was a little bit more aggressive as i was focusing on penile stimulation. 

This was the weird part, I skipped a day for a regular jacking session, or two or three. I’m just showing off. Then yesterday I was kinda just chilling after i got home. I wasn’t hornier than usual but i started feeling like an emptiness in me.

Didn’t really understand it. It felt like butterflies in my stomach but in my ass. Figured I might have over done it while jacking off with the aneros in. I sat down on a the edge of a hard surface to put my shoes on for a jog. Then i stopped.

while seated with the butterfly sensation, i’m guess my taint must have gotten pushed or something because the butterflies kinda turned into something else. I stopped and kinda rocked back and forth. Then started a clenching/pulling sensation and thought to myself.. “well, all things considered this seems like a good time to give it ago” threw off the shorts and hoodie laid back, inserted and then the emptiness was filled. What next?

well i had a long session where i was just messing around with that feeling. Occasionally stroking to feel my prostate beat against it. Idk i guess i was trying to see if it was where it should be. It felt nice not mindblowing, out of this world orgasmic outerspace after life stuff. Kept it in and ended up getting a bit fatigued so i finished it off with a jacking off session while it was in. Great better than normal, but i felt like i wasted time for it.

later that day, i got the same feeling. I immediately dropped what i was doing and gave it a go. It was nearing my normal sleep time so why not end the day with new sensations. 

i don’t know if this is tmi but this is what i would have wanted to have read. i started on my back. Legs down legs straight, rocking entire body. I felt like i had to piss. Got up, tried to pee while keeping it in, bam another new sensation.

I stopped pissing and clenched again. Shook off and jumped back onto my bed. Continued the rocking while subconsciously stroking myself and reminding myself to stop to just enjoy and feel whatever this was. I could always finish later. I started clenching (pulling in) but only a little bit. I felt nice. I was jumping between soft, hard and half mast. But stopped caring about it. (My dick)

it was feeling like a nice tickle and then i (after purposefully unclenching my legs to “relax”) felt the need to switch positions and laid on my side with my leg kind of up next to my ribcage. Enjoyed some more of the tickle but i was getting a bit greedy at this point and was lightly humping the bed and thinking about a good sex memory. I reached around and grabbed it, readjusted and forced it to rub against my prostate which despite my lack of erection (eh more like i was chubbed up) was definitely bigger, as i felt the aneros stroking it as i alternated pushing it harder against it and going handsfree.

something was building. I kept getting to this point of getting so close- no hands on penis- but there were definitely sensations of idk relief? Pleasure? It was like it built up and then settled. But i was starting to get determined as i’ve never had this kind of success with it.

I decided not to rush it and switched to another side hoping it might poke in a new/more sensitive area. It did. And i kind of just rode the feeling for a while. Attempted nipple play, (read a lot of people who did that with it) that was a fail so i stopped…One thing at a time. If I wasnt into it before why would i be now? I guess i expected my body to become one giant orgasming penis where i could rub my elbow and be like OH GOD. 

that wasnt it. I rode the feeling. Literally and figuratively. And i guess i was kinda spacing out. I somehow was focusing on the sensation i was getting. But not because a cult said a comet would pass and all of a sudden my ass will turn on like a frozen lawnmower. 

no super O. I couldn’t push the feeling past/let the feeling expand. But i didn’t end up jacking off. I was exhausted and actually satisfied with what i experienced. I didn’t realize i was in such a brain fog during it. It felt so good that i was a bit twitchy and weak for a while after it. Which is super unusual for me. I literally have referred to jacking off as just “getting the cum out” and jumping back into life

and here i am, sitting on a rather hard chair with the empty and butterflies feeling. Waiting to see what happens next time i get a chance. 

i wanted to post this because despite not trembling until someone called an exorcist, i felt great.. and kinda high.. like on a mix of xanax and post orgasm but the post orgasm was dialed up. I guess brain chemistry played a part there. I did start jacking off but stopped because i didnt need it or want it. I was kind of already in a slurry of pleasurable brain chemicals and i’m realizing today how good that actually was and wondering how high these butterflies are gonna take me.