Vocalization has helped me to finally make some progress!

I've been using prostate massagers/anal toys for 9+ years now. I never really made much progress towards the Super-O, but stayed determined, and patient. Most of my sessions usually have a whisper of pleasure, but nothing much beyond that. A week ago, I felt like I made significant progress. Over the past few months, my favorite toy has been a non-Aneros product, which is a glass stem/plug similar to the tempo/peridise. It's a good 1.5 inches longer, and allows for the most movement of any toy I own (and I own at least 100+ anal toys now). A problem I used to have in the past was little to no movement of the toy, so this one has become a bit of a success for me. But recently that’s changed. Here’s the past 10 days for me.

Day 1:
Some sessions I have end with me on the bed on my back, and my body contracting like I'm doing an abdominal crunch. My body wants to hold that contraction for a good 20-30 seconds. This generates a little pleasure in my penis and anus. Unfortunately, the sessions usually end with me having a HFWO, with the build up just before ejaculation lasting longer than normal (5-10 seconds). That build up is really nice, but after ejaculation, I'm in a refractory period, and the session is over. That happened again yesterday. But in today’s session, I tried something new. I decided to vocalize my feelings (usually I’m very quiet). I decided to just try it at the start, and soon my body sort of took over. I wasn't really feeling any “physical” pleasure, but it felt natural to vocalize, so I went with it. This sort of turned me on, and kind of added a "mental/spiritual pleasure" (not sure how else to describe it) to the session. Like if I was measuring physical pleasure on a scale of 1-10 it was maybe a 2, but there was another type of pleasure I’ve never really experienced before. It was sort of weird, but letting go, and letting my body kind of take over the vocalization really helped add to the session. Unfortunately, I ran out of time, and had to end the session. I typically end my sessions by masturbating to orgasm (yes, I know this is counter-productive, but I end up losing patience). But I never felt the need to do that here at all. Significant progress!

Day 2:
I thought I'd give it another go, and started with the same glass stem/tempo-like toy. I sat in my office chair, looked at erotic porn with binural beats playing on my headphones (my usual go-to). I started getting some slight subtle movement right away, and started getting nice feelings in my anus. The problem with the toy I was using is it doesn't really contact the prostate directly. So, I decided to throw in the Progasm Jr. and shoot some lube into my anus as well (usually don’t need to do this with the glass stem toy as it’s very slick with just a little lube). The Progasm Jr. felt good as well, and my body told me to go lie down, so I did. I started to also feel slight movement with the Progasm JR, which really excited me as I don't recall ever feeling movement from it in the past, even if I shoot some lube with it. My body also started to contract like yesterday and also wanted me to writhe into different positions. The vocalizations took over again with me moaning on each exhale. Again, not really any significant “physical pleasure”, but everything felt "right", like I had done this in the past, and was re-learning it. My biggest worry was that I would end up stuck in that abdominal contraction, and I would end up having a HFWO, but it didn't happen. My body would also want me to go into an arched back position, which was new, and it would sort of bear-down/push out the toy, even though it never came out. I had to reach down there and feel that it was still in place. I was worried it would pop out, but I “let go”, and trusted the process (though that had failed me in the past). The fact that the toy didn’t come out got me even more excited! Now that I think back, it felt like my body was trying to find my prostate with the toy by making me go into these positions, and alternating between pulling it in, and pushing it out a bit.
My body still felt like it wasn’'t quite reaching what it wanted, and my ass started craving the big-daddy Progasm. The Progasm has usually been a dud for me, but I felt like was making significant progress, and my ass seemed to CRAVE it. The session continued slowly building towards something with the alternating contractions (mixed with brief periods of rest), but I unfortunately had to end the session not long after I started with the Progasm. Again, I never felt the need to masturbate. Also, I started feeling more physical pleasure, but it’s a different pleasure than a normal orgasm. Hard to describe, but it’s like the mental pleasure I referenced earlier sort of turning into a form of physical pleasure. I don't think I ever got really hard during the session which was great, and I think helps show that I was rewiring.

Day 3:
Started with the glass stem/tempo-like toy again. After about 5 min of decent twinges of some whispers of slight pleasure/feelings in my anus. I decided to jump right to the Progasm.
That was the right decision.
I inserted it, and went to lay down on my back. It started with subtle, delicate movements here and there, no rhythm or anything. My body again wanted me to vocalize, so I did, though it wasn’'t as quick to start as yesterday. For most of this session, my body would first do the abdominal crunch contraction, pulling the Progasm in, then it would make me go into an arched back pose, with my anus doing more of a bearing down/pushing out type of contraction. My body would hold the arching position for a good 20-30 seconds, then the process would repeat, or stop for a minute or two. Like yesterday, it was like my body was searching for my prostate with the Progasm by making me go into these positions. It felt like each moment was slowly nudging me towards something, and I’m positive my body was still rewiring. I never had any urge to pleasure myself, or touch my penis. I still never really felt exactly where my prostate is or anything, and the Progasm ended up popping out, so I decided to gear-down to the Helix. This toy started moving quite a bit from the start (thanks to the progasm’s size). Again, my body started alternating between the 2 contractions types, and with each arched back pose, it felt like my body was pushing the toy out, but it wasn’'t being pushed out. It was more like it was pushing the toy down onto my Prostate. I did start to feel warmth from what I think is my prostate when in that arched back/bearing down pose. Each time this happened, the pleasure got a little better. It felt like the only thing missing was the toy actually massaging my prostate in this position instead of just pressing down. Unfortunately, I ran out of time again, and had to stop, but was extremely pleased with the session and my progress.

Days 4-6:
I wasn'’t able to have any sessions during these days due to no alone time.

Day 7: Still no alone time, but I did put in the stem/plug toy when having a bath, and that felt really good. It was dancing around inside, and felt amazing. My heartbeat sped up, and was pounding hard. I ended the bath, and later sat in my office chair with the Helix inserted. That also felt really good, with decent movement, but I wasn’'t able to vocalize, so it didn’'t progress much further after that.

Day 8: Had another session today, but was having digestion troubles, so it wasn’'t very effective.

Day 9-11: Had a few more sessions in the past couple of days, but nothing really good happened/no more progress was made.
But I’m sure I’m rewiring, which is great. The key for me was the vocalization. I think the only thing missing is that the toy isn'’t massaging me on its own yet. The movement I get is the toy slowly moving to a different position like it’s trying to get to the right spot. I do seem to be able to get some slight feelings by doing a-less sessions while playing with my nipples, so I’ll continue doing that.
I’ve popped into the chat sessions a couple of times to share my progress/ask questions, and was told to look into KSMO, as the vocalization is a huge part of that.
If I keep making progress, I’ll keep updating this thread as I go forward.

Just thought I’d share in hopes that trying the vocalization might help others struggling to make progress.