I've been reading "Everyday Zen" by Charlotte Joko Beck, and she shares a technique whilst meditating that helps keep you in 'the now'. She said to observe your thoughts as they pop up and label them, as in, "Having a thought about dinner tonight", and then to take it no further and to settle back into concentrating on the breath.
I've found in my Aneros sessions that in the first ten to 15 minutes, my mind is all over the place, re-running events of the day, what I'll do, what I've done, etc, and I find using this technique of labelling thoughts brings about a greater initial experience and bonding with the session itself.
I find the best sessions are where the mind is quiet and still, and all the stress and worry of the day is either dealt with or put on hold. Easier said than done!
On the subject of labelling, I really do think labelling our experiences of the Super O, while necessary in order to teach and share, is counter productive ultimately as what is happening really does go beyond words. To me, labelling each orgasmic spasm is extraneous mental chatter, and it takes the focus away from what is happening as the mind is being forced to put into language something hard to define.
Does anyone else have thoughts on this?
rorymuscle,
Being a practicioner of T.M. and self-hypnosis, I've long recommended these and other techniques that provide a state of mental passivity and quiet for purposes of facilitating a Super O. While ejaculations are seemingly impervious to outside influences, Super O's are very easily disrupted by mental noise (such as being preoccupied with other matters). This is particularly the case for the new or less experienced user. It is interesting that some have found sleeping with the Aneros productive. There have been numerous threads on the topic (there is one currently). Although this isn't a viable means for developing ones technique, what it demonstrates is that the alternate pathway that is the Super O is revealed when the mind is cleared of distractions. In this place, ones body often finds the way.
With respect to the topic of labeling, I agree with you, we have so many new terms emerging every day, that they themselves are becoming part of the chatter. It's gotten to the point where each and every little sensation under every conceivable condition or situation is ripe for coinage.
However, it is essential that this community has it's own vernacular. With so much that transcends the traditional orgasmic experience, our level of communication here would be hamstrung without it!. As with the development of any lexicon, the process is often awkward. My sense of it is that inevitably people will choose the terms that have the most relevance, leaving the insignificant and innocuous ones to fade from usuage. As with all of the information contained in this forum, one is free to accept or ignore anything presented here.
That said, I've been thinking of generating a thread on the Shower-gasm..no kiddin'!
BF Mayfield
ps. Btw. where did you get that username from?
rorymuscle,
Being a practicioner of T.M. and self-hypnosis, I've long recommended these and other techniques that provide a state of mental passivity and quiet for purposes of facilitating a Super O. While ejaculations are seemingly impervious to outside influences, Super O's are very easily disrupted by mental noise (such as being preoccupied with other matters). This is particularly the case for the new or less experienced user. It is interesting that some have found sleeping with the Aneros productive. There have been numerous threads on the topic (there is one currently). Although this isn't a viable means for developing ones technique, what it demonstrates is that the alternate pathway that is the Super O is revealed when the mind is cleared of distractions. In this place, ones body often finds the way.
That's been my experience too. Do you meditate regularly, or is it something you can slip in and out of when you need it? I've found meditation and Aneros really do complement each other beautifully.
With respect to the topic of labeling, I agree with you, we have so many new terms emerging every day, that they themselves are becoming part of the chatter. It's gotten to the point where each and every little sensation under every conceivable condition or situation is ripe for coinage.
LOL, that's true! I had an orgasmic feeling in my lips of all places last night - a "labigasm"?!
However, it is essential that this community has it's own vernacular. With so much that transcends the traditional orgasmic experience, our level of communication here would be hamstrung without it!.
Yes, I agree completely. It's just I wanted to point out the limitations of language. As I heard someone say the other day, writing about music is the same as dancing about architecture, and it's the same with Aneros experiences: finding or making up words is very difficult.
That said, I've been thinking of generating a thread on the Shower-gasm..no kiddin'!
BF Mayfield
LOL, please do! I think the shower deserves a thread all of its own anyway!
ps. Btw. where did you get that username from?
I made it up a few years ago when I was an internet virgin and didn't know what on earth to use as a username. It's a combination of a special guy I knew and my once superbly carved hard-gained musculature (now in retreat)! I'd like to change it, but it's more trouble than it's worth, really.
hey, my kind of thread! i meditate daily, twice when i can, and have been for about 5 or 6 months now... possibly the best 5 months of my life. there is no question that meditation and aneros use compliment each other beautifully for a whole wealth of reasons. i have found the two biggest benefits of meditation to be as follows;
1. you realize the beauty and luxury of a STILL mind. you could go on it volumes for all the reasons why a calm mind is just wonderful, but as others already have, i wont ; ). thinking in its various forms (going over what you should have said in that argument, fantasizing about your future, dwelling on your past etc), is one of the biggest temptations people loose to, which drains you mentally, and physically, causes you to sleep poorer, have less rewarding relationships with those around you and prevents you from reaping the fruits of 'living in the moment'; a cliche, i know, but when youve experienced it, you dont want to go back.
2. you become much more aware of how you are always feeling. with meditation you can achieve a 24 hour 'buzz' off of just being alive and well... (buzz can be an understatement, nirvana may closer describe it).after picking up meditation i have all but given up caffeine as i now fully feel how crappy and anxious and just uncomfortable it makes you. your desire to avoid all things toxic (food, drink, relationships, thoughts etc) becomes strong as they all become major buzz-kills. one way that this has complimented my aneros use is by making me much more aware of how drained i feel after a t-orgasm and how great i feel when i save it up for weeks instead. often when i meditate i get wonderful p-waves all over and they can last all day! if i have a second meditation session later on its just nirvana.
in your case rorymuscle, it sounds like you may be interpreting the whole labeling of thoughts incorrectly. it sounds like this method may just double your thinking. i think what she is trying to get at is to be aware of your thoughts and eventually realise that you are not your thoughts... you can disagree with you thoughts. instead, focus on quiet awareness. when you have a thought during meditation, try not to think "oops, im thinking again, i must stop" and instead just be aware that you have started thinking again, catch it, and stop. meditation can seem so complicated when really its so simple; just breathe, dont think, feel your breathing, thats all, enjoy!
Enemagra,
Beautifully said!
Makes me want to meditate!
Thanks, Hlaser
hey enemegra-
can you give us a quick primer on your meditation practice and how you learned it?
thanks,
darwin
in your case rorymuscle, it sounds like you may be interpreting the whole labeling of thoughts incorrectly. it sounds like this method may just double your thinking. i think what she is trying to get at is to be aware of your thoughts and eventually realise that you are not your thoughts... you can disagree with you thoughts. instead, focus on quiet awareness. when you have a thought during meditation, try not to think "oops, im thinking again, i must stop" and instead just be aware that you have started thinking again, catch it, and stop. meditation can seem so complicated when really its so simple; just breathe, dont think, feel your breathing, thats all, enjoy!
Sorry, I don't think I expressed myself terribly well!
The reason she recommended labelling thoughts is because it's an effective technique of removing your involvement with them, engaging in them and taking them further, rather observing the thought and not engaging with it. I've found it (for me) the best way so far to quieten the mind as I realise just how much garbage it spews forth constantly.
As for it doubling one's thinking, I find it has the opposite effect because time isn't being wasted engaging with a thought before realising what you're doing.
All grist to the mill...
Edited to add: I've found this link to a short MP3 soundbite on mental noting during meditation which is worth a listen: http://www.buddhanet.net/filelib/mp3/mental.mp3
rory- i think i may have misinterpreted what you said too. sounds like this could be a usefull tool, i might use it.
for darwin, and anyone else whos interested ill try to give a summary of what i do; let me first say that i think meditation has been particularily benficial and therefore fruitfull for me because i used to have a highly overactive mind; i would basically 'live in my brain' from the moment i woke up to the moment i fell asleep (and falling asleep was no easy task for me). although i wasnt really aware of it at the time, this caused me much anxiety and overall poor mental health. i originally discovered meditation as a way of 'brain training'. i absolutely love to train, whether it be physically, with the aneros, or now, mentally. i had been reading articles on ways to increase mental power, IQ, memory, concentration etc, and in most articles, the benefits of meditation were stressed (try searching 'benefits of meditation' on google if youre sceptical). i began by simply sitting in a chair with good posture (back straight, like a king, one hand resting on the other on my lap, palms facing up) and listening to myself breathe for five minutes once a day. no detailed techniques or anything, just focussing on my breath and not thinking. after about a week of this i noticed i was much more genuine; most people tend to 'act as themselves' rather than truly be themselves... this was a great feeling! eventually i boosted the time up to ten minutes once a day and felt even better. i started reading more on the subject of meditation (mostly just articles i found through google searches) but found that having all these techniques and rules in my head made focussing more difficult, as it can with aneros use. anyways, many months later i have come up with this routine; i begin by quickly stretching my upperbody just so i feel good and can go in to the session feeling nice and already focussing on nice feelings. i then start a 15 minute timer and sit on the edge of my deskchair (on the lowest setting so that my upper legs are more or less parellel to the floor).. i like to face an open window but thats just my preference. i then assume good posture (not resting against the back support) and close my eyes and start meditative breathing and clearing my mind. after about 3-4? minutes of this i begin using mantras. i choose mantras with the intent of rewiring my brain. if anyone is familiar with neuroplasticity, you know how much the simple act of repeating certain words in your mind can change you. this may sound silly but i choose mantras like 'i love you, thank you, im sorry' etc... trust me, this truly can make you a better, more compassionate person. its during this mantra time that i begin to feel l beautifull glow. after maybe 5 minutes of this, i use a counting technique. this simply involves slowly inhaling, exhaling, and counting 1, inhaling, exhaling 2, etc... all the way up to ten, then doing it again. this technique simply aims to clear your mind. after this i might repeat a mantra again, then just sit quietly breathing until the time is up. i like to spend the last minute or so with my eyes open, its a nice transition. and thats pretty much it. of course, as with aneros, its not just a matter of going through all the steps but ratherm developing a passion for it and your own technique.
my meditative practice has also led to many lifestyle changes for me. i focus on patience and compassion as much as possible and try to choose more fullfilling options (reading instead of watching tv, getting as much exersize every day as possible, walking instead of driving, eating whole foods instead of processed crap, water instead of other beverages etc...) for me the results speak for themselves, ive never felt better and would definately encourage people to give meditation a try. i had no idea how far i would go with it when i first tried it so you never know how it may work for u! thats all... best of luck to everybody!
enemagra, thanks.
i was meditating once or twice a day as part of a program to manage the pelvic pain i was having. it was great. very very helpful
it got to the point that i had become very unstressed and could see with clarity when others were acting stressed towards me.
my pain problems have largely receded and i kind of let the meditation drop out. i think this may have coincided with spending more time in the pleasure zone.
what really caught my eye about your first post was how the meditation revealed to you the problems with coffee.
i am having a particular problem now which is i am in a cycle of dependence on pleasure and coffee. what happens is that i stay up later than i planned because of the lures of pleasure. i sometimes wake up tired. when i get to work i feel a very strong need for coffee either to give me some energy or, even if well slept, to give me a caffeine rush (which i am craving as a substitute for pleasure).
this would all be ok except that the coffee is not good for my health for other reasons and i need to get off of it. (but i love it so much!)
so, in sum, i am finding myself with addiction problems with orgasms and coffee. the orgasms part is ok. the coffee part isn't.
you have inspired me to go back to the meditation to find my center.
i was doing 20 minutes. but i think perhaps 15 would be better as i might get the same benefit but feel less like i was spending too much time meditating.
i also like the idea of the timer.
again thanks for sharing on this important matter.
darwin