Total newbie here! Help is needed 😀

I'm by no means an expert on this having only started on this journey about 2 years ago but have some thoughts on alternative ways to orgasm. If I could go back to when I was in college but with one piece of sexual knowledge that I've gained from this and other forums it would be to learn to meditate. Most people probably think of meditation as sitting cross legged going OMMmmm (as did I) but there's so much more to it than that. I first started meditating to try to calm my mind before / during an Aneros session (I have one of those brains that wants to replay everything in recent memory over and over in detail) and quickly discovered that the meditation itself would also induce pleasure. Since then I have had many very pleasurable sessions without the use of any toys or physical stimulation, just some fitting music and mental focus / relaxation. That last part might seem contradictory but depending on your intent you might choose to focus (such as on mentally stroking your prostate) or you might just set an intention ("I want to feel relaxed", or "I want to feel full body pleasure") then try to completely relax into the session. I prefer the latter method as it's not only easier on the brain but usually induces an orgasmic state where my whole body has waves of tingly pleasure for 30-45 minutes at a time.

Another bonus about this type of pleasure is, at least from my experience with it, I rarely have spasms or thrash around so it can be done when you have less than perfect privacy, such as when living in a dorm. I will sometimes feel like moaning but generally it's not overwhelming (so can be muffled), and I do still get erections and with a good session will have some pre-cum drip so there are some external clues but those are pretty easy to hide. I would say for the most part it just looks like you are sleeping with an occasional smile when things get good.

There are other benefits to mediation as well such as generally feeling more calm (or being able to calm yourself when upset / angry) and depending on your mindset spiritual / metaphysical things like expanding your mind, finding solutions to problems / questions, increasing your positive aura, having a greater connection to your preferred deity, etc. I'm not as much into the spiritual aspect of it but won't deny that the possibilities exist, I've had some interesting dreams of a creative nature on a couple of occasions while meditating.

As for where to start, I made a playlist of meditation music with things like Gamma Meditation and Binaural Beats as well as a few hypnosis tracks (found on Youtube). I usually wear noise cancelling headphones so I'm isolated from the outside world pretty well, but that does limit me to laying flat on my back so sometimes I will use a bluetooth speaker. I have had some decent sessions that way but it's easier to be distracted too, so starting out I would suggest wearing headphones. I would say it probably took me about 3-4 months before I really started to have sessions where my brain would quiet and I felt a sort of disconnection, it might happen quicker for you but don't give up just because you haven't seen / felt any results after a week or two. I used the meditation tracks for close to a year before getting to a point where I was able to have a decent session more often than not, at which time I started listening to my favorite classical music which I find works as well as the tracks designed for meditation with the added bonus that I like to listen to them! It probably helps that the classical music I listen to tends to be simpler (often just piano and strings, sometimes some percussion and vocals), has repetitive patterns, and a more dramatic / emotional element to them. If you like classical music in general and have Google Play look up the "Minimalist, Classical, Neo, Modern-Classical" station, that's where I got a lot of the songs that work for me.

@ihave2cats
I tried meditation with aneros and binauralbeats (with headphones too, the slightest noises distracts me), which helps a lot because like your my mind, mine is also quite hyperactive which even leads me to insomnia from time to time.
But I didn't get any great result after 2 weeks so I stopped and I was just thinking about trying it again !

Can you try to explain more in detail how you relax / focus your mind, I'm not sure I'm doing it right, I'm just trying to focus on the binaural, the aneros sensations or think about nothing ...
How do you "set an intention" ?

Thanks guys! I really appreciate all this. The hardest part would be not to ejaculate for two weeks... I've never stood dry for more than 4 or 5 days ever since i started masturbating. But I will surely try! This will be good preparation for my future aneros experience! And I've found all the links and info you left here very helpful, thanks again!

@Kaly It took me a long time before I started to really see any results and I considered giving up a few times too. I was trying out a number of different techniques at the same time (switching between Aneros, hypnosis, edging, golden circle(?), and meditation on different days) but I think there were two things that helped me the most in regards to queting my mind when I was getting started:

Hypnosis, specifically a few from UltraHypnosis on Youtube (like Induction and Hands Free Orgasm) which again at first didn't do much for me, most likely because my mind was fighting the suggestions or over analyzing what was being said. But after some time (months) I would start to feel a little bit of a physical / mental disconnection, like the feeling you have when you are about to fall asleep and your body starts to feel like it isn't there but your still slightly conscious. Eventually this led to actually feeling fairly relaxed and for the most part my mind would stop wandering, and I did begin to have pleasurable tingling throughout my body and some short, medium intensity peaking orgasms from the hypnosis, though often not when I was "supposed" to have them, I'm guessing because of my mind was still a little too active at times. I eventually stopped listening to hypnosis for a couple of reasons, one being that even when I was able to relax and disconnect pretty well the littlest hiccup, odd inflection, or out of place word from the hypnotist would cause my brain to kick in and pull me out of the trance. The other reason was that meditation alone was starting to work well and it didn't have the distraction of a voice that I was always analyzing. But I would still recommend trying hypnosis because it will give your mind something to focus on (the other persons words) which should to some extent help keep it from wandering too much. It will also teach you how to use a little self hypnosis to achieve the same results (or at least get you started into calmness / trance), which I think can also help in setting an intention (more on that in a bit).

The second thing was finding a single thing to focus on when meditating that would help keep my mind from wandering in 1000 different directions. For me that thing was the music itself, more specifically a single instrument or pattern within the music. I would kind of mentally hum along with it which made it harder for my mind to get distracted by other thoughts and I'd like to think that it was also helping to reinforce the music as a meditative source (I have no idea if this is true or not but it's all in our heads anyways, right?). Other thoughts will still pop up at times and while I used to try to stop them, my new method (more on that in a bit too) is to just let them happen and then go to focusing on that single instrument or pattern again, and eventually if all went well my mind would start to drift off into a more calm / trance state.

I don't remember how long it took before I figured those things out but like I said before it was probably 3 months or so before I even started to have somewhat consistent meditative / trance like feelings. Even then they were not very strong or reliable, but they were there which gave me hope. Fast forward to now and on most days I can lay down with my preferred classical music and in 10-15 minutes start to have a more relaxed feeling, and for the next 30+ minutes usually go even deeper and at the least have a nice relaxing session where my body feels kind of numb (in a good way) and my mind goes from 1000 thoughts per second to about 100. Then on a good day my body will get really tingly (I would say comparable to p-waves in the sense of pleasure moving around your body, but it's a bit different) and on a really good day I will feel like I'm climbing up an orgasmic ladder for 30+ minutes, where the pleasure just keeps getting a little stronger and stronger. I'm not sure I've had a super-o with an Aneros and given how different those are for everyone it's hard to make a comparison, but the pleasure has been similar but not quite as high in intensity to what I've felt with an Aneros. And at least for me it's also kind of different in how it comes on, whereas with Aneros it's more like you start with little in the way of feelings and then you start to feel it and continues to build excitement, I've found meditation kind of starts off the opposite where I can feel my body and my distracting thoughts and then at some point everything just kind of stops, my body and mind relax, and there's a real sense of calm before the tingling / orgasmic feelings start. And that sense of calm itself feels really good, just not in an orgasmic pleasurable sort of way, so even if that's as far as the session goes it's still nice. I'm sure you've seen everyone say to get the most out of an Aneros session you need to just let go, going from feeling things / noise in your mind to a sense of calmness during meditation is like the physical embodiment of letting go.

And I think this has an influence my Aneros sessions as well in that when I was first starting with Aneros I used to have more peaking orgasms (muscle spasms) and now the pleasure is much more linear in how it builds up, usually not hitting a peak or causing any spasms. I think that's part of why I'm not sure I've had a super-o because for most guys it seems to involve some sort of peak or multiple peaks / spasms, and for me my best sessions have involved very little of that, just a lot of feeling good all over. Even so I can feel a distinct difference between meditation and Aneros, with Aneros sessions I still feel a stronger pleasure in my pelvis / prostate while with meditation it is generally more distributed throughout my body and less localized. That said...

I have had some mediation sessions where once I was feeling tingly / in a trance, I would then mentally focus on my prostate by thinking "stroke your prostate from top to bottom" and on occasion I would feel a physical sensation of pleasure run through my prostate. This feeling usually does cause a short, localized peaking orgasm and muscle spasm of medium or so intensity. I've also tried focusing on the pleasure center in my brain and / or my amygdala, which again on occasion has lead to pleasure, but has also lead to some mental tension. I'm not sure if it's just from trying to focus too hard or not being experienced enough with meditation, but either way it makes my head hurt and so most of my sessions I just let my mind and body do whatever they are going to do that day. Something else I tell myself as I'm starting a session is "all thoughts are welcome but no thoughts are necessary". That's kind of my way of telling my over active brain that it doesn't have to think about anything but at the same time I'm not going to force it to stop, as I think that works against the whole idea of relaxing and just letting go. Plus when I try to force myself to ignore thoughts I often end up just having some other thoughts shoot off in another direction anyway. And on a couple of occasions I've ended up having some interesting creative scenarios play out in my head which I'm pretty sure where influenced by my changing to my favorite classical music (and at least partially from not forcing all my thoughts to stop). One of those involved a dance / ballet story with a man and a woman along with one of the more emotional sounding songs I like (I'm not a dancer but do admire it). I'm still waiting to be able to see into the future or learn to speak cat. 😉

As for setting an intention, from what I've read that is something you do as you are starting a session as well by telling yourself what you would like to get from it, either out loud or just to yourself. I can't honestly say how successful I've been with this because I know subconsciously that whatever intention I may set at the start what I really want is to feel pleasure, so while I may think something like "I want to feel relaxed and refreshed" I know deep down I still want to have orgasms if my mind / body are up to it. Lately I've just been keeping it simple and thinking "body, mind, I know what you can do, do whatever you want". Again, my way of just saying I'd like to feel good but will take whatever I get, and I think it's a nice low pressure way to go about meditating (kind of along the lines of what so many say about having no expectations with an Aneros session). I do still have expectations, much like when I have an Aneros session, but I'm going into it with the mindset that those expectations don't have to be met in order for me to still enjoy the session.

As with most things shared on this site, your experiences may (likely will) vary. But hopefully that gives you a little something to work off of and find your own path to the style and type of pleasure you are looking for.