Thoughts on the diversity of sensations

I have noticed that every session is so drastically different for me. There are some sensations I am able to rediscover to a certain extent from session to session, certain recognizable sensations, like sign-posts I have seen before. But the path itself changes every session, with new landscapes and and new viewpoints.

I imagine this is because of the altered state of consciousness that these orgasmic sensations produce. Each orgasm and its build-up is so intense that it is hard for me to remember what just happened, and combined with 30+ minutes of such sensations (if I count the peak of a session, albeit with gaps between the highs), the whole session becomes a blur.

There are physical specifics that I can recall: I was drooling on my pillow, breathing heavy, moaning, talking to an imaginary partner, tugging my balls...

There are sensations I can recall: heat, pressure, certain spots of contact or stimulation, shivers, stretched muscles, trembling...

There are emotions I can recall: joy, fear, love, excitement...

And then there is the vast realm of the unknown: the hallucinatory moments, the synesthesia, the wanderings down surreal paths on different planes of consciousness, the physical sensations that don't have logical explanations (for example... there were trout swimming through my body!?!?).

These far out sensations of course come when I am furthest from reality, and thus they are the hardest to grasp, to put into words, even to remember. To try to analyze them in the moment would be to abandon them, precisely in the moment that I should be abandoning myself to them. My memory of them is distorted afterwards, or perhaps I am too gone to create a proper memory to begin with.

Thus I ride the waves, not expecting to ever find the paradisiac islands I have already set foot upon, but knowing I will come across many more.