Thoughts on my experience?

Hi there!

I read the blog post (I didn't even realize there was/is a blog section?!! Never looked there before I'll have to check it out now...) and have some thoughts.

First off, you were on the road to constant prostate orgasms. Everything you describe is how the feelings start to build up, and sensations, and the cascade into hands free orgasm/s.  So it sounds like you were or maybe still on your way to prostate orgasms. But something is holding you back. Sorry to be analytical (its a part of my profession/industry/scholarship) but there are a few things that I identify that seems to be derailing your progress and experiences, and even made you throw your first Aneros toy out!!

I had to look up "shibby" I've never heard of it before you wrote about it. I think its femdom audio recordings? I had to look it up on Reddit, all porn in my state is blocked without face ID verification so fuck that shit I'm not looking at porn I don't even look at porn much anymore anyway. You also brought up "mindgasm" and again I think its audio. I know users of Aneros find a lot of help and assistance in audio recordings. I never found much help in them. Your mentions of these audio avenues is important to what I think might be going on.

A lot of users watch porn as they try for prostate orgasms. Something about the process of "prostate orgasm" has a correlate to "orgasm" for most men, and "orgasm" for most men means "penile orgasm" and especially "ejaculatory orgasm". This is not the way to think about Aneros and prostate orgasms. The prostate is one thing, the penis is another. A man has to separate the two to find prostate orgasm. I have read that audio recordings help with fantasy and its just audio and not watching a screen, so the level of distraction is reduced. Watching porn is highly distracting when trying to do prostate play. The whole "go with the flow/just lie there and let it happen" aspect of prostate play turns to attention given to the screen. Audio prevents that. 

However, there is still a level of perversion in audio files that is akin to porno. In that, the user seeking prostate orgasm is relying on, in part or wholly, external stimuli to help push their body's prostate to orgasm. Here, the MIND is the thing that is being affected in order for the user to "get" to orgasm. The mind, then, is the key to prostate orgasm.

For years I have read on this forum, and talked directly with other men outside of this forum, on their methods to achieve prostate orgasms. I have found that pornography, in any way (audio, ASMR, hypnobeats, sissygasm/mindgasm, JOI, video, VR, you name it) is used to help push the user into prostate orgasm land. What I've found is that all the porn-related material simply distracts the user from actually feeling what is happening inside their bodies, and most importantly, the porn-related material offers a distraction in their brain. When you "lie there and do nothing" the thoughts come in. They race in. Some of those thoughts might be "what the fuck am I actually doing here, anyway?" "does this work?" "what am I actually supposed to feel?" "is that an orgasm...is that little pulse or contraction an orgasm or will it lead to one?" "my dick isn't hard, is it supposed to be hard to have a prostate orgasm?" "my dick is rock hard, does that mean I'm going to have a prostate orgasm?" "will I cum harder than ever before?" "will I ejaculate?" I could list so many more questions because I know people ask these to themselves as I've asked myself all of these before, too. I've been doing anal and prostate play for 22 years now, so I've been there and done that

You brought up the "crude and crass" descriptions of Aneros/prostate activities and pleasures that you've read on the Aneros community forum. Right there, I saw huge red flags! If Aneros play is described in such a way that you could say the way its written is "crude" or "crass", yet the descriptions you read were likely very accurate and important in how the user conveys the sensations, stimulation, and result, then how can you get into a mindful state in order to achieve prostate orgasm? I'm not trying to criticize you at all, but you also brought up religion, and when that is paired with descriptions here on this forum being "crude and crass", well then, it seems like you need something, an aid or stimulus, to drown out the thoughts and keep your mind at bay from possibly making you wonder if what you are doing is right or not. And you can interpret the word "right" any way you want here.

I think what is holding you back from achieving prostate orgasm, or getting that "itch" back so it cascades over into a real orgasm, is your mind. There is something sticking in you that is making you perceive prostate pleasure in a certain way, and you need something to cloud your thoughts so that you can get into the zone and accept the fact that a toy in your ass is moving on its own because that's how the anus and rectum are designed, and through constant automatic movement, the toy can drive your prostate to have an orgasm apart from your penis. I think the way forward is to ditch the audio files (ESPECIALLY if you choose those over porn, or think its less bad than porn, because its simply replacing the pornography stimulus that you feel you might need to get in that zone), start breathing deeply BEFORE you even get close to beginning your prostate session, and try to center yourself and be present in the moment when you do your prostate play. If your mind wanders, bring it back to center, focus on your breath, focus intently, deeply, on exactly how that toy is feeling inside of you, where it is, center your thoughts on the way the toy is interacting with your anus, and when it goes in deep, how it feels as it touches your prostate. Notice the way the muscles in your pelvis and lower abdomen react. Notice how the sensations make you change your breathing; or, how it makes your body parts move against your will, even something as simple as your hand clenching or knee bending, can be evidence that the toy is making your body react. 

Its all about reaction. Its all about being able to notice the sensations. I think if you can find a level of acceptance that what you are doing is perfectly fine, perfectly cool, clean, normal, and accepted by many people today, you can find some solace and calm that you actually need to have in order to have prostate orgasms. My best orgasmic sessions come when I'm doing less, less movement, shallow breathing, silence. Honestly I get more out of staring at the ceiling fan than I ever did for 10 solid years staring at porno on the screen while I had a toy in me. 

You brought up that music sounds better, that tiny little things had large profound impact on you. I think what you're describing is simply "mindfulness" and that you achieved some mindfulness in that session you had. You just found a way to pay more attention to your body, and you unlocked your body and mind's ability to appreciate more of the world. It used to just be a soft breeze. But now, its a soft breeze that when it crosses your neck it makes your hair stand up and you feel a "thing" stir inside of you. You surely let yourself go during that session and you experienced the nuances of reality of being a human being, and you like it!! That's mindfulness. I know you attributed the shibby beforehand as the stimulus that got you there, but you don't need it. I'm not advocating for anti-porn. I'm advocating for a "no external stimulus needed" approach to Aneros and prostate stimulation. It sounds to me like you became mindful of a lot, a whole lot, that you never were mindful of before. People take medications to achieve that ability, to slow down and pay attention to everything--the lead singer doesn't take center stage, the whole ensemble is there working together and you can hear every single part of that group. 

At the end of your blog post you said "the crude nature of many of the posts doesn't make me feel good about what I'm after." If that's the case, then prostate play and orgasms might not be for you, at all. You have to get past that. If someone is using "crude" language to describe what is happening to them, that's a pretty subjective way to approach this whole "prostate orgasm" thing. That's judgmental, not just to the posters here who work hard to get their points and experiences across to let men know how it all works, but its mainly judgmental towards YOURSELF. If what you read is crass, then how can you ever think what you are doing to and with yourself is not crass? None of this is crass!! You listen to shibby. It sounds like its pretty crass to me!! I haven't heard it, but on Reddit I saw enough to know this is some pretty intense porno-type shit. You need to reverse course on that sentiment. Especially if you want to continue the prostate journey. 

Lastly, you let the cat out of the bag: you said that most of this "doesn't make me feel good" about what you are going for, chasing, etc.. This DOES feel good, though, doesn't it? You're letting your upbringing, your religion, possibly the way you and your wife have a sexual relationship together, take the forefront of your mind and you're letting morals get in the way. God wouldn't have allowed for this to happen if he didn't put a prostate inside of us, right? You don't need to use a toy to achieve prostate orgasm. A finger of your own or another person can make it happen, so science isn't even responsible for this "crass" behavior, right?! I sense shame and guilt in your sentiment at the end of your blog post. You should not feel shame or guilt over what you are doing. You brought up using THC to get there. Do not do that. You don't need it. I used THC for years for sessions and found, after I quit using it, that my very best sessions of all time came completely 100% sober. THC is, again, another distraction, its a medication that is used to trick you into not thinking about anything. The way forward is to clear your mind consciously. Use your great will power, your intellect, your smarts, your get-it-done attitude to "get it done" when you do prostate stimulation. You can get there! You just need to believe in yourself, and believe, no, convince yourself, that none of this is crass or crude. Its clean, its healthy, its fine, its kosher, its all OK. 

Posted by: @techpump

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You listen to shibby. It sounds like its pretty crass to me!! I haven't heard it, but on Reddit I saw enough to know this is some pretty intense porno-type shit.

To be fair, a lot of Shibby's stuff, especially the beginner files, are quite non-graphic. I do have some reservations about the general theme of domination, and the bondage material that appears frequently, but it's not a bunch of dirty-talk. It's actually quite relaxing and cozy in a lot of ways.

It's disappointing and mildly insulting to be considered crass, given the sheer poetry we have around here, but I think I understand the complaint. When I first registered here, this was the first place I ever discussed orgasms with other men. It felt a little bit like I was doing something potentially dirty, and I was on the edge of my comfort zone. Graphic talk doesn't weird me out as much as it used to, but I can see how it might to other people. At first, it can seem like a fine line between "seeking advice" and "talking dirty with other men on the internet". I've been around long enough to be bored by it, but I forget their are people reading who aren't. If it's any help, in all my years here, I've never been private-messaged by anyone wanting to talk dirty or exchange pictures, and I don't consider it that kind of message board. I suspect most of what you're seeing is people who're comfortable being frank and open about their experiences.

I don’t trust myself to engage responsibly with those drugs (I need to be responsible for my kids and provide for my wife)

I'd agree with staying away from THC for all the reasons mentioned. On top of that, I'd say consider what would happen if THC did turn out to be the thing that unlocked everything you ever wanted from a session. You might not want to have a session without it. I don't even enjoy THC (and in many ways I hate being stoned), but when the success of my sessions began resting on it, I continued using it far beyond what I bargained for. I consider success with THC to be a sort of cursed-knowledge, where you can never forget how easy everything could be, if you just used the drug. It makes me glad I don't know what harder drugs feel like; I'd probably be one bad day away from injecting something.

Regular weed smokers will hate me for saying this, but even smoking once or twice per week negatively effected my work performance in certain ways. I suppose it worsened some of my already negative traits. Which might not be the case for everyone, but it's not as rosy and harmless as the internet's career-stoners would like to insist. For some people (myself included) it has a definite potency with aneros sessions, but if you have responsibilities that are an order of magnitude more important to you, you're 100% right to not roll the dice. Also I'm not convinced the experiences I had on THC (though immensely pleasurable) were quite the same "thing" that I got from going to that place of deep-focus naturally.

I tried without success to replicate the experience over the next few days.

This is a common problem. There is a lot about this that's impossibly subtle and unconscious. We tend to believe that we know what we did before, but there are things invisible to us... weird variables we didn't even know existed. For example, just how open is your spine to accepting a warmth crawling up it? Is that something within your sensory perception, or is it something you haven't the first clue how to measure or get in touch with? Have you ever even considered it before? That's not to say I'm in touch with it, or that I'm talking down to you, I'm just saying this is the level of ludicrous complexity I believe we're dealing with from one session to another (and there are countless other examples)... which is why I find it vaguely annoying to read reports from people who explain in great detail how they took a bath and lit some candles, as if that's what made the difference. Honestly I gave up a long time ago trying to give people suggestions, unless I think I've found something particularly interesting or relatable.

All I'd suggest is trying to get back to that place of quiet focus, and to do that, you might need to let go of the desire to recreate anything you experienced before. This goal-based desire is something a lot of people here over the years have discovered is counter-productive. The natural temptation is to apply past learning to your sessions, and it's a reasonable temptation because so many things do work that way... but you might be unwittingly destroying a sense of unknowing openness that you had before. It's a human inclination to optimize and take the shortest route to desired goals, but the "unknown weird shit" needs to be given its due.

Great topic and comments ! 

I used to believe that some amount of porn was OK-ish for assisting with Super-Os, but I don't think that's the case anymore. It's getting more and more obvious that today's porn sites, their layout and algorithms and super loud, aggressive ads, are not designed to help people orgasm, they're basically designed to keep you clicking around. Search results don't make sense, videos are often very short, and there's a lot of manipulation involved when it comes to skipping ads, getting the videos to display in full screen etc. There's even a ton of vertically-shot clips now for phones, basically porn reels. 

It almost looks like the sites are designed to make it harder to orgasm, so you  spend more time on the site, basically going through cycles of up-and-down stimulation and frustration, aka edging. All the focus spent on finding that one perfect video can't be used to concentrate on what your body is experiencing. 

Audio porn is a bit better but has its own set of issues, in the end that perfect piece of stimulating media you're looking for only exists in your own mind, and that's what you should be focused on, actually using your imagination to build up that ideal scene. 

@zentai this is so true, especially given these other things going on on a porno site:

The banners to the right are either selling you ED pills because while you're jerking it to porn on the left side of the page, the right side is telling you that your boner is weak, you can't get it up, and you need meds. Or that you don't produce enough semen, so buy these pills. Or that you need some sex toy, so buy this one. Or that your dick isn't big enough, so buy this pill. Or, worse, "there are hot grandmas in your city that are dying to fuck you!" and it chides you for watching the porn when you should be screwing women over 65. What?! Its all counterproductive to what you are trying to do: use an image to get off to. 

So yes, the sites ARE designed to make it harder to orgasm. You watch a 15 minute clip and there's no cumshot at the end. So you feel ripped off, even though its free, and spend another 10 minutes finding another clip that will "get you off" the way you need to get off. All that made me not want to watch porn anymore. I'm actually glad I live in a state that requires Face ID (GROSS!!) to be able to see almost all of the main porno sites. I'll never, ever in a million years succumb to something like that. Good riddance. 

Deep connection between mind, body, soul, and heart bring about states of orgasm that are beyond anything any outside influence can provide. Porn distracts from this connection. I know some porn gets users to "there" but then that stimulus was responsible, when it could've come from within and be drawn from anytime, anywhere. Didn't want to derail this thread with talk about this, but when given the chance, I take the bite and chew heartily

@techpump 

Posted by: @techpump

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Didn't want to derail this thread with talk about this, but when given the chance, I take the bite and chew heartily

Yeah, I did derail the thread a bit, I had something in mind and stopped writing before I got there... It's much easier to explain what goes on with porn sites than what happens with audio files. Plus anyone can download their favorite clips or even buy custom videos these days, so it could be argued that a very good Super-O inducing clip can in fact exist somewhere without ads or frustrating interface. Anyway I got focused on that.

I have used audios and music for the longest time to support my sessions and they work well for me. I've listened to my fair share of Shibby, too, My main gripe with the hypno files is that they put your session on a track, things need to happen at a certain time, following a certain rhythm. Every time you miss a cue, it causes a bit of dissonance and that's not really productive. 

I feel like it's better for me to listen to music and do my own "dance" than having someone hold me by the hand and telling me exactly what I need to be doing. 

Posted by: @zentai

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Every time you miss a cue, it causes a bit of dissonance and that's not really productive. 

Same here. The only way hypno works for me (to the extent it works at all) is to go mentally-limp enough that I'm not bothered by things that are supposed to be happening but aren't. I think it's possible to let that stuff go. The way I think about it, these suggestions are not for me, they're for my subconscious, and sometimes they'll land and sometimes they won't. If one suggestion doesn't work, maybe one 5 minutes from now will, so let it all flow past you. 

That's one thing I like about Shibby's files, is that they're (mostly) not one long buildup to a single critical moment that either works or doesn't. Some hypno files can feel like a waste of an hour, after you've relaxed every muscle one-by-one, descended the hundred steps into the magical sex garden, sworn your obedience to the sex wizard (out loud), and imagined all the swirly-doodles whisping in and out of your mind, then it's finally time to orgasm, and nothing happens.

Posted by: @clenchy

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Posted by: @zentai

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Every time you miss a cue, it causes a bit of dissonance and that's not really productive. 

Same here. The only way hypno works for me (to the extent it works at all) is to go mentally-limp enough that I'm not bothered by things that are supposed to be happening but aren't. I think it's possible to let that stuff go. The way I think about it, these suggestions are not for me, they're for my subconscious, and sometimes they'll land and sometimes they won't. If one suggestion doesn't work, maybe one 5 minutes from now will, so let it all flow past you. 

That's one thing I like about Shibby's files, is that they're (mostly) not one long buildup to a single critical moment that either works or doesn't. Some hypno files can feel like a waste of an hour, after you've relaxed every muscle one-by-one, descended the hundred steps into the magical sex garden, sworn your obedience to the sex wizard (out loud), and imagined all the swirly-doodles whisping in and out of your mind, then it's finally time to orgasm, and nothing happens.

 

that's why I don't use audio files. I find it hard to cum on cue. Even when I feel the PONR coming on (thinking during sex with my wife here) I "believe" I'm like 10 thrusts away from cumming, but then its actually like a full minute more. I have tried a few audio files with the count down etc. and it kind of stresses me out, like "oh shit, I'm supposed to cum right now, but I actually needed to a couple minutes ago, and now I have to get it back again fast!" and then I finish, and I'm like "I bet it would've been better had I just followed my feelings and released a couple minutes ago..."

I find with Aneros use that I'm breathing and moaning etc. and I kind of listen to my own sounds, and that helps build me up a bit. Like I'll say "oh god" out loud, and then I think about that for a split second, and the toy does more in me, and then I'm like "oh my fucking GOD" and it sort of amps me up more and more. I don't know if its possible, but I become my own needed soundtrack. 

Like I do when I used to watch/rely on porn for self pleasuring, I'd fast forward until the "good stuff" and I found I did that with audio tracks, too. Not supposed to do that! but I did. I could try audio tracks again, maybe they'll be more fun now. 

@clenchy

Posted by: @clenchy

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That's one thing I like about Shibby's files, is that they're (mostly) not one long buildup to a single critical moment that either works or doesn't. Some hypno files can feel like a waste of an hour, after you've relaxed every muscle one-by-one, descended the hundred steps into the magical sex garden, sworn your obedience to the sex wizard (out loud), and imagined all the swirly-doodles whisping in and out of your mind, then it's finally time to orgasm, and nothing happens.

That's such a good description, lol ! There are many different layers to this and why it works or does not. I could write a perfect induction for me and it would be garbage for everyone else. Since these files need to work on as many people as possible, there's often a middle-of-the-road approach, which means it's never going to be as good as it could... Also the erotic-hypno realm comes with its own tropes and I'm not into a lot of them, so there's almost always going to be a part of a file that I don't agree with. 

Posted by: @techpump

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I could try audio tracks again, maybe they'll be more fun now. 

I always come back to them eventually. I find "going deeper" is a skill that develops with practice. Finding the right head-space and being able to stay there. Building comfort with the experience, and trust with the hypnotist. I'm not always in the mood for this stuff, and frequently go several months without listening to anything, but I've had enough success with them, that I'd like to see how much further I can take it.

I still haven't ever ejaculated from any audio, despite probably a few hundred listens at this point, but there is definitely enough pleasure to make the experience worthwhile, and for me to know this isn't just a lot of make-believe bullshit. A more cynical part of me suspects these files are just play-along fantasy audios for people who have a sub/dom hypnosis fetish, and I still think that forms much of their appeal, especially when you venture into the more ridiculous areas of erotic hypnosis. But as far as Shibby goes, I can confirm (for what it's worth) that there's something real going on here, I've had the "snaps" directly send little jolts of pleasure through my spine. Reaching ejaculation would be extremely cool, and I haven't given up on it, but I consider it a long-term project.

Posted by: @zentai

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Also the erotic-hypno realm comes with its own tropes and I'm not into a lot of them, so there's almost always going to be a part of a file that I don't agree with. 

Yeah I audit every file before I listen to it "for real". I don't mind a little bit of leather or latex, but since it does nothing for me erotically, I get annoyed and impatient when there's too much focus placed on it. Verbal responses and eye opening/closing are also off the table. My pattern now, is that I've collected a handful of Shibby audios that I find acceptable, and I stick to them... occasionally auditioning new audios.

Interestingly, I still haven't developed any affinity towards leather, latex, or physical restraints, despite how many times I've been exposed to that theme in hypno files. It would be very useful to me if I could develop these as new fetishes (since it would make the audios more exciting), but who even knows how that shit works.

Posted by: @zentai

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Yeah, I did derail the thread a bit

The thread is not officially derailed until we reach page 2. But we are all Shibby's pets here, so technically we're still on topic, because Shibby is always the correct topic.

@clenchy 

Page 2 should be fairly close now

I started with hypno before getting into Aneros, I can confirm that it does work. At least for dry-os. I'm sitting on a stack of Erickson books, mostly hypnosis for clinical work (dentistry, for example), and basically it's true that all hypnosis is in fact self-hypnosis. Or at least a really big part of it is. That's why we talk about hypnotic suggestions, it's up to you to follow along. 

Like you I haven't experienced the emergence of new fetishes, but maybe it's because I'm not attracted to files with content that does not interest me in the first place. I also don't have any interest in being dominated even after hundreds of hours of listening. 

Posted by: @zentai

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and basically it's true that all hypnosis is in fact self-hypnosis. Or at least a really big part of it is. That's why we talk about hypnotic suggestions, it's up to you to follow along.

Yeah Shibby says that "all hypnosis is self-hypnosis" in one of her files. Makes more sense the longer I've tried it. Or maybe I just believe that because Shibby is brainwashing me into believing it. I guess I'll take it, either way.

Posted by: @zentai

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Like you I haven't experienced the emergence of new fetishes, but maybe it's because I'm not attracted to files with content that does not interest me in the first place. I also don't have any interest in being dominated even after hundreds of hours of listening.

Hmm, maybe fetishes take a certain psychological "seed" in the first place. I really prefer a cooperative approach, but I have assembled a few files that loosely jive with this mood. I'm flexible enough that I do listen to the domination files, but it never adds anything. I always feel like I'm missing out not being a sub, that's why I think some of this is catering to sexual fantasy. I mean it makes contextual sense, to surrender to the voice and let it "become" your thoughts, and I have gotten there to some extent... but sometimes I feel like that relationship is taken for granted thematically, as if it's something I want, rather than something I'm willing to reluctantly trade.

It's hard to make sense of really, but it's cool and interesting that it works.

Posted by: @clenchy

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Posted by: @zentai

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Also the erotic-hypno realm comes with its own tropes and I'm not into a lot of them, so there's almost always going to be a part of a file that I don't agree with. 

Yeah I audit every file before I listen to it "for real". I don't mind a little bit of leather or latex, but since it does nothing for me erotically, I get annoyed and impatient when there's too much focus placed on it. Verbal responses and eye opening/closing are also off the table. My pattern now, is that I've collected a handful of Shibby audios that I find acceptable, and I stick to them... occasionally auditioning new audios.

Interestingly, I still haven't developed any affinity towards leather, latex, or physical restraints, despite how many times I've been exposed to that theme in hypno files. It would be very useful to me if I could develop these as new fetishes (since it would make the audios more exciting), but who even knows how that shit works.

 

You know, some of these things I never thought I'd be into either. Until my wife gave it a try, and then I was like "OHHHHHHH...THAT is why guys like this stuff!!" Like neon body stockings on women. I see them on women online, I'm like "whatever" that's not that big of a deal. UNTIL I decided to order some for my wife, simple cheap stuff, like a set of 5 colors and each color had a different style or cut or whatever, each was unique. She put one on and I couldn't believe it, I actually liked it, a LOT. It became hot to me. It feels cool on her skin. Its super fun. She's worn some leather stuff in the past, but she didn't own it, like it wasn't a real part of her and she didn't believe in it, so it looked great, but it wasn't super fun. BUT I loved it and wanted to see her in more like that. 

Not that you haven't experienced these things in real life, I don't know, but a lot of things "sound" like they'd be hot as a fetish but until I have some experience with some of these things, I don't know if I'm into it or interested.

@techpump interesting points. So after you had this real experience with the neon stockings, did the online pics become more attractive? Or is that still "blah".

@techpump 

I think a lot of these things only make sense when it's between you and your partner. I like to say, porn is just "moving colors on a screen" when it comes right down to it, but if you wife wears something, and she likes it and it makes her feel sexy, and she knows you like it, then now it turns into something "real" that you associate with sexy time. 

When I think about a fetish, to me it's more like there's one particular thing that takes front stage from everything else. In porn (again...) there's a ton of material that is hyper-focused on a body part, or shoes, or latex. Like you only get to see the woman's butt in full screen for 20 minutes, I do like butts but in a real interaction I want to see everything and not just that  

As much as I hate to admit it, I was headed down the porn road myself. My wife was not a fan. I completely understand her side so I have put that behind me. I certainly understand the addiction but it seemed to always leave me feeling guilty. Therefore I’m glad I have moved on. When I started including my wife during my sessions it was very enjoyable for the both of us. It’s always gratifying when you see each other enjoy giving and receiving pleasure.

I’ve never experimented with drugs but I have used alcohol before sessions and I chalked that as a miss. It seems like my feelings are so dull that I can’t get in to it. My best sessions have been either with my wife or alone and yes she knows I have alone time. 

The audio fantasies was another miss for me as well. I was very aroused by it but it seemed too distracting during my sessions. I also felt like I wasn’t doing something right if I didn’t cum on demand. As far as what gets posted here, I enjoy reading others advice and experiences which helps me to further my own journey. We are taking about an anal device and prostate orgasms so it’s hard to change the wording in respect to the topic. I would try to incorporate aneros into your sex life and find ways that don’t leave you feeling guilty or upset your spouse.

Posted by: @will704

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As far as what gets posted here, I enjoy reading others advice and experiences which helps me to further my own journey. We are taking about an anal device and prostate orgasms so it’s hard to change the wording in respect to the topic.

Agreed. Even if sometimes I feel like some descriptions are more "graphic" than they need to be, I always keep in mind that everyone has a different relationship with their experience and their perception of how things happen. Some men will feel like certain reactions from their body (for example, precum or how hard their penis is or what the Aneros is doing to them or how vocal they are) are super important and others will not be focused on the same things and are more curious about technique etc. 

Posted by: @clenchy

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@techpump interesting points. So after you had this real experience with the neon stockings, did the online pics become more attractive? Or is that still "blah".

Honestly I see the stockings and they have to be on someone already hot. like, "oh she's hot AF and she happens to be wearing a body stocking, so that's hot too" but I'm not seeing body stockings as its own thing online, like its a new thing. I do get it now, men into things like this particular thing, but my kinks and fetishes are so minute and laser-focused when online that I'm just looking at like a few things.

I've actually started back on clothed models. Some are so hot I don't want to see them naked, and I don't really fantasize about them naked either, because they look so good dressed or in underwear, etc.!!

Thanks everyone! Good discussion. Sorry if I came across that I was calling everyone else crass, what I was trying to say was how it feels to me on the site, so trying to navigate what I’m trying to accomplish with my internal reactions has been interesting.

I largely agree with the conversation surrounding pornography and shibby/audio. I’ll probably try and only utilize something like shibby as a way of removing inhibition/expectation.

Thanks for thoughts and perspective on everything!

Agree with most of what is mentioned but I do prefer my mature porn from early 2000. The models were everyday gals with normal bodies and seductive looks that really get things started. Todays models are mostly fake and have had major work done which is obvious!