The Point of Aneros -- In My Opinion

Wait, that doesn't sound very sexy. That doesn't sound like orgasms. That sounds like a raw deal. That sounds like the therapist I had to pay for my ex wife to visit. I had to "invest" in that as well. That didn't work either.
Slow down there a minute.
Is it so wrong to learn who we are all over again? Isn't that sexy in and of itself? I've had many sexual encounters that left me learning something about myself. I would start a night with a goal in mind, the point as it were, of the night. This was going to happen, then we would move from that position, at some point this device would come into play, at 10:15 PM we would both orgasm. After that, we would be in bed asleep by 10:27 PM. I mean, we've all had a preconceived notion of what would happen. Rather, we have preconceived notions of what *should* happen. Instead, I get a total surprise for the night when something completely out of the blue happens. Maybe she does something I never thought she would do. Maybe she asks me to do something I always though she hated. That's the point. We have to be open minded enough to remain adaptable and react to the experience, not force it one way or another. There is nothing wrong with guiding a situation, but let it unfold and develop at its own pace.
Can that be frustrating? You bet! When I'm making out with my girl, and all I want is a blowjob, then the time it takes her to actually make her way down there can feel like eternity. If her lips on my cock is all I focus on, then the actual arousal that is being built up is overlooked and missed.
I think as men it's easy to want to fix problems. If we see something not working right, our minds start searching for a solution. It's why my girlfriend talks for 20 minutes, and when she finally pauses I say, "Okay. What's the point again?" Then I get "the look". I'm sure I'm not alone in knowing what the look is. The point was just to listen and validate what she was feeling. Did I understand that all that at the time? No way. Do I understand that now? Yes At least I nod and say I do.
With Aneros, don't try to to "fix" it. Please. This is a request. It's not really broken if you don't feel anything right away. You're not really broken if you don't feel anything right away. Also, it's okay to feel frustrated. Just ask yourself why you feel frustrated. Is it because you're missing the point? Is it because the point is still the orgasm?
I know, at this point, there is probably a collective, "Okay, what the hell are you talking about? What is it all about then?"
So, often we mention the mental side of Aneros being just as important as the physical side. There are topics that date all the way back to the start of the site that impress and stress the importance of letting go preconceived notions. There is an entire Wiki dedicated to physical movements and suggestions for clearing mental mind clutter. All this advice is meant to help us all "get it".
What I'm saying is don't let "it" be solely the orgasm. Don't let the "point" be all about cumming. We talk and write ad nausea about separating a penis orgasm from a prostate orgasm. We talk at length about multiple orgasms and going with the flow.
I'm going to take these ideas and spin them another way. What if the point of Aneros wasn't "the orgasm" but a means to make yourself happier? What if Aneros was about learning about yourself? What if it was a means to be completely selfish and totally focused on one person, yourself, for just a little bit? What if in the process of all that "me time" you actually had fun and some great feelings to go with it? Wouldn't that be pretty neat?
Aneros can be that way. Aneros can allow us to learn new things about ourselves and help us change how we perceive the world. That's what I mean when I say we learn who we are all over again.
How does Aneros do this? Well, that's kind of the catch-22. Aneros doesn't do it. We do. We take our own actions, our own thoughts, and complete the process. Notice that. Complete the process. How does it start then? Aneros. In this instance, for this purpose, Aneros. Now, that doesn't mean that this only applies to Aneros. Learning how to do this with Aneros makes it easier to learn how to do this with other things in life, I believe.
For starters, as a starter, a person inserts Aneros. Expectations is that of an orgasm and Super-O. Super-O maybe not right away, but it certainly better happen. That's why the investment in Aneros was made.
Instead, think of it this way. Insert Aneros. Stop. Stop right there. No expectations. Tell me, what IS happening? What ARE you feeling? Do you see what you're doing? You're thinking about it. You're *experiencing* it. You're actively holding back your thoughts in order to register what your body is feeling.
Well, it's not feeling anything. What are you *expecting* it to feel? Are you still expecting? Are you sure it's not feeling anything at all? Some men simply don't have any pleasurable feelings. They just don't get a physical reaction at all. Even if such is the case, I still want to say, "Congratulations!" You've just meditated for 30 minutes or however long you just tried. You thought of nothing but yourself. You let the stress of the day go for a little bit. Those bills due on the kitchen counter were ignored for a little bit. How does that make you feel? A little less stressed? A little better? That's a pretty good feeling, right? The fact that nothing physical happened might actually make you more determined to try again. However, that can be done for free without sticking something up your ass. That's not what you invested in. Just remember, experience, react, and be adaptable.
Sports players and athletes commonly say they're in "the zone" when they are performing exceptionally well.
I like to take a similar thought and compare it to being in a slip stream. When I'm at my peak, I actually stop moving my physical body altogether. I'm in the slip stream of experience. I've been pulled into this line and wave of energy and experience. I just stop trying to move and float in that stream. What I mean is that with all of my voluntary muscles, I stop "voluntarily" moving them. I just keep my mind as still as possible and "feel" what I'm feeling. If my penis twitches, yeah, I feel that. Do I try to twitch it by focusing a thought on twitching it? Nope. This is what's known as the detached observer. You're placing your mind just outside of voluntary control long enough to feel and register what you're feeling. You're in the slip stream of experience. You're on a roller coaster car going up and down and all around. Your body is being turned and tossed with the care of the coaster. You can scream, move your arms up and down, brace yourself, try to hold yourself still, but you're still on that ride. You're still feeling every bit of it. That's what I mean when I say you can guide it a little bit, but just enjoy that ride. Be in the slip stream. Be in the sensations that wash through and over every essence of being. Keep the mind in that place of enjoyment. How often do we get to really let go and just feel great things happening to us? That's what everyone means when they say let go. Let go of consciously trying to move a muscle. Stop. Just don't do it. Instead, when that muscle moves, what did you just feel? Did you feel that tingle move up your legs? Did you feel that subtle wind from the AC blow over your nipple? Did you feel that pulsing sensation pour through your prostate and into your cock? What are you feeling?
That's how we complete the process. Aneros simply creates an outlet that promotes stimulation. For many, this is an entirely new type of stimulation. That's what is referred to as re-wiring. Every man since the time he first pleasured himself knows what penile stimulation feels like. Not many men know the pleasure of full body prostate stimulation.
There are several articles and topics that give specifics as to the physical techniques to move Aneros around inside and stimulate the prostate. There are articles that talk about not thinking about the penis and focusing on the prostate and sensations felt. I encourage all to go look for them. They are great. Spend time in the Wiki. Look up Cockadoodle's Penis Not topic. All give great and valuable insight. I can't say I'm adding anything really new to the mix.
All I can do is simply challenge you. When you have thoughts about Aneros, and you're frustrated, think about what the point of it all is. Think about what you're trying to achieve. Just think about it. Are you actively forcing something that "should" be happening? If you've never had a Super-O, how do you know what it "should" feel like? After you're done thinking about what you're "trying" to do, why don't you just stop trying and just start feeling?

I'll finish with this. I was at a place that had an indoor rock climb. I had never done a rock climb before. I always wanted to, but never did. This time, I did. I got the harness on and everything. Then I just stood there. I stared at this dumb wall. There were all these tiny, little pegs. I didn't even know where to begin. My goal was to get to the top. That's the point of rock climbing. That's all I knew. At some point my mind just said, "Idiot. It's a rock. Climb it. You've been climbing since you were a kid. A foot goes here, and a hand goes there, and up you go. Just do it."
With all the little things that get tossed around about Aneros, do this, don't do that, feel this, don't think about that, at some point, it boils down to a very simple, you know what to do. You're body knows what to do. You've been feeling your body for years. Just relax, enjoy, and feel it a different way. Go ahead and get excited. Learn something new about yourself. Take a chance. Try something different. When you get frustrated, feel frustrated. You have that right. Don't think anything is broken though. Don't think you have to fix anything. Once you've calmed down, think about what you felt when you were trying Aneros. Were you thinking too much? Were you expecting too much? Take a breathe. Calm down. Let those negative feelings pass. Think about trying again, and just experience whatever happens. That's all I'm asking.
That's the point.
In my opinion.

@rikaaim, that is so good, so direct, so clear to me, so helpful, so enlightening. I am speechless - Thank you - isvara

@Isvara
It is simply my "goal" to try and help those who think they are missing something. Maybe they don't even know what that something is. If in anyway I help make anything just a tiny bit more clear to someone, if they understand just a fraction of a bit more than what they already did, then I am happy. To that end, you are most welcome my friend.

@rikaaim, great! I've been at this almost 2 years now and this makes so much sense to me. I have had a few super O's and many dry O's but nothing for the past few months, though my sessions are extremely pleasureable. Sooo frustrating! I get it now after reading this, that unconciously i may have been expecting the super or dry O's instead of just enjoying what I am getting. This makes sense to me now! I will take your words to heart for the future and look at this entirely different and just try and be an observant bystander and truly enjoy the feelings whatever they may be. Thank You!

This is definitely worthy of archiving, perhaps with a tiny bit of reformatting.

Hello, Rika.

Great posts. Funny thing is, the guys who most need to understand all that are the most impatient and least likely to read 'em. The old sayings remain true:

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think.

Cheers,

Dave

🙂

@rikaaim,
Thanks for reframing a message which all newbies need to hear.
The Super-O may be the "sizzle" which draws one to the dinner table, but the Aneros Journey is the meat which provides the nourishment to the soul.
Good Vibes to You !

As far as this being too long for most to read, or those looking for the quick and simple answer, this post isn't for them. It's not for them for one reason. They're not ready.

Just as you say you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink, the Aneros newbie who wants results right away simply isn't ready for this advice.
Once they get over the initial, "But I want it to work now!" phase, one of two things will happen. They will learn that what they read about this Aneros journey taking time and everything else is true, and then they will begin in earnest looking for answers. Then they will be ready for this post. They will be ready to take it to heart.
Second possibility, they could just give up. There's nothing wrong with that. Someone tried, gave it a good go, and decided it just wasn't for them, just wasn't going to work, or just simply wasn't worth the effort. There's nothing wrong with that person. Here's a big kudos for trying in the first place. Way to be open and adventuresome.
It is my hope that the first type of newbie comes to this thread ready and willing to see some direct and strong answers.
I was told by someone much wiser than me that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. All I can do is put out the information.
It is also my hope that perhaps, as a last ditch effort, the second type of person will come across this point and rethink giving up. I want every male to feel this great sensation! I want every male to break boundaries and reinvent themselves. I wish every person in whatever journey or path they are on the greatest sensations.
I very much appreciate the support and respect from those who understand and know what I'm talking about. Honestly, I'm just trying to take the information that we've all shared among one another and present it in a slightly different way. It's the same core philosophy, but maybe just defining and breaking it down a little more might help make things more clearer. If someone understands what I'm getting at and is able to apply it to their own practice, then that's my biggest joy.

@rikaaim
Awesome. Thanks for this post. Three weeks back I was getting frustrated and about to give up, constantly looking up wiki stuff and posts and getting myself more frustrated. Then I stepped back, said, "ya know what, spend 2 hours on this. Fall asleep if you want. Bored? Watch porn. If you're horny after, jerk off. But just take it as it is." and it worked. I didn't get a super O or anything but I felt really good. I actually got a hard on for the first time with it in me and I had a short rush. I felt like I got more from just sitting around with this toy up my ass then just poking my dick.

So now I take it like a work out at the gym. Some days you feel great, some you feel like shit, but every day you're doing something. Something is happening whether or not you realize it. Your body is sorting out all of these new muscles and feelings.

I guess what I'm saying is that it's reassuring that I'm getting into the right mindset. Thanks for that.

@Hofdude
You have a great mindset right now. That's a perfect approach to it. What's the point of getting so stressed and agitated with something? I'm glad you found a solution that worked for you. I'm also glad you found some reassurance. That's wonderful! I'd like to hear and read how things are progressing over time if you'd like to share. It's also good that you set up a nice approach too. Spend two hours... That's not a bad idea. Why keep in a state of frustration? Just set a good time limit and stick with it. If things are going great, just keep going and let it ride. My only concern with that approach is that someone may be too focused on how much time has passed. Ultimately, if it works for you, just do it!

That was genius. I honestly think that that should be stickied.

I echo all of the above comments from my fellow Anerosians!

rikaaim - As always, nicely put!

Brian

@rikaaim

Thank you so much for this thread.

I almost feel jealous of you that you have been able to spend the time and effort, (not to mention having the skill with words), to put this together. I sincerely hope it gains the broad readership that it deserves.

Congratulations!

Please can at least the three initial posts be made a sticky. Perhaps rikaaim could join them and give the result a definitive name.
They are a vital clarification of the real process of being made new using Aneros as a tool.
As I noted they are totally helpful. It would feel sad if they disappeared.
isvara.

I have been very happy with my progress with Aneros so far, but rikaaim's trilogy has completely reinvented my whole approach. I have been doing a "do nothing" approach, but the result of the "detached observer" and the outlined overview has been quite remarkable. I tried it last night and the experience was quite exciting, new and very wholesome. I love the journey.

@isvara
I tired to post them all as one post, but it exceeded the character limit. That's why I had to break it down.If there is any talk about a "sticky" of this topic, then I could rename it, but I like the idea that the name currently implies. If I did rename it,I would probably just leave out the "In My Opinion" part.
I am very happy to see that you're loving the journey and are excited! That's what it's all about my friend. What sort of sensations have been occurring for you?

Well put, Rika, many thanks.

Rikaaim...As someone who, just this morning, experienced his FIRST Super O...I can say I GET IT! And, I love it! I was so worried that I might not be able to achieve the goal, that I was trying wayyy to hard! Instead, after falling asleep with my Progasm, after doing a few tent exercises, and some keegles, I woke up feeling like something was happening. I then watched a video of someone having an orgasm with a Progasm for just a few minutes and I felt it coming and it just...took over! I didn't need to do anything, just let it happen! So anyway...thanks for helping me validate what I'm experiencing so far. You guys rock!

Thanks for the post! I didn't think it was too long, there aren't any shortcuts in life to amazing new experiences, you need more than a quick sentence or two to get your point across!

I agree that there is so much more to this journey than the "super-o." We don't grow up in a culture that fosters a mindset that you should want anything other than an orgasm, super or not (especially as a man!). A sensual man that enjoys each and every experience & sensation? A man that might touch his nipples for pleasure? A straight man who enjoys prostate stimulation???!!! It CANT be, that is not the way I was taught, no one else thinks this way, its not cool/normal and anyone that suggests this is going to be outcast because they are different and wrong, right...?


Congrats on letting go of how you have been conditioned to view yourself & your sexuality, getting to know your true/inner self is such a wonderful journey, one that goes so well with using the aneros. Even on my off days where I don't achieve a hands-free orgasm, I enjoy the relaxing (almost healing) energy of the sexual sensations that come up, regardless of their intensity. Setting time aside to explore & get to know yourself is just as valuable (if not more) than a fleeting super-o.


To any readers out there, keep exploring/learning and always keep that beginner attitude, our bodies have so much information to share, we just need to take the time to listen. Like rikaaim said, be a "detached observer," you might like what you find!


-Sandmann

@rikaaim, I have come to the understanding that I was not doing nothing when " doing nothing".
With the huge help from your trilogy I am really aiming to be the detached observer. I am finding the more detached I am the more I move to the edge of the break through. I have copied the posts and they are my knowledge base. I feel that they may disappear into the forum, which would be a loss. Many guys would be greatly helped by the understanding of the way of the detached observer.

It's pretty amazing how hard it is to "Do Nothing" isn't it? It takes time to ground out the noise. Next, detaching requires a level of relaxation that when nearly there, I run the risk of falling asleep. It's really a pretty active do nothing and is a pretty special experiance when you attain the detached state.

I enjoy learning to relax almost as much as using the Aneros!

Xileh

@isvara @Xileh
I appreciate your comments. I cannot take credit for them though. This is how it was taught to me. I'm doing my part in passing it on. @Rumel @artform @cockadoodle @darwin and many others have given me these tools that I share.
I too was confused at first at the do nothing terminology. When I sat and literally did nothing, nothing happened.
I was speaking with sbuxman in chat the other night. I had a realization.
The information that we share isn't rules set in stone like commandments. The advice we offer is like a treasure map.
When the light of the fading sun arcs off the sweltering peaks of the eagle's rock, fifty paces to the north lies a brook with no sound. Atop the knoll of that brook lies a well that lacks depth. Find that well and wait for the flair of the final moment of the sun to show the patch of the hidden trail. It is down that trail you will find the answer.
In all honesty, it can be confusing! I have found that this is because we are taking an idea and a concept that as a whole we've had very little exposure too. We've had very little for others to teach us and train us. In fact, many of the guys here are the creators of the map and guidelines. When I was a kid I learned addition and subtraction when my father put pennies on a counter and took some away from the pile and added others to the pile. We have to break down the thought and concept as best we can, and sometimes words simply fail us.
I am thankful that others are resonating with my words. That was my intent all along. I resonated with words spoken to me long ago. One of those words, or ideas broken down into words, was that of the detached observer. Everything I wrote was explained to me that way.
I want to be perfectly clear, I am very thankful that some who are reading this are gaining genuine insight and having some breakthroughs. That was my intent. I also want to give credit where it's due. I simply respect and admire the gentlemen who came before me too much to do otherwise.
I don't worry about this topic fading into obscurity. I am certain that it will remain on the front page, or at the top, as long as those who need it will it to be.

rikaaim
Thanks for the effort in your long post. To guys seeking an easy fix, many of those guys will not take the time to read your wisdom
But to us guys who have had a little taste of aneros honey and want to find an even bigger beehive, your words are sheer encouragement.
I will relax into your recommendations to enjoy the pleasure stream generated by the aneros in my body and try to achieve that pleasurable observer detachment that allows pleasure to build with no effort other to affirm those feelings and allow them to build.
Thanks man for a great post. I have it on my favorites to reread what you are saying just in case I missed something.

Gee, I'm glad I found this post. I'm expecting to receive my first aneros (progasm) this week, and I'm feeling a wee bit anxious about it...in a really good way.

From the little bit I've read, it appears that this is a great community that is pretty darned informed. Thanks @rikaaim for this post. I'm expecting to be dedicating some time to this forum once my anerives..

@rikaaim makes a good point when he says that part of the point of using the aneros is to explore our full potential as men, to find what makes us happy. I want to expand on that point by looking at the role of pleasure to us men in our lives. This is based on my experience and may not reflect other men's experience.

Happiness is a big topic and pleasure is a subset of happiness. Does pleasure give us happiness? As boys perhaps a lot of us were not encouraged to seek out either pleasure or happiness, but to pursue duty to others before ourselves. There's a need for duty of course but it doesn't have to be everything. Having been raised Catholic I know that I have guilt feelings about feeling pleasure which I have to deal with. I had to ask myself, is exploring for the new ways to feel pleasure a worthwhile goal? It's not my only goal of course but it seems somehow unmanly or just base to even consider it as a worthwhile goal.

As a gay man I learned to question men's roles but it still seems somehow an odd thing to do, to pursue pleasure. Of course that's not my only goal. The pursuit of happiness is a very American thing to do as it's written in our constitution. Of course that's not the kind of happiness they meant. And one can look at this as an exploration of our bodies, of our full potential as men. That sounds much better.

As a gay man I'm perhaps more accustomed to thinking about pleasure for it's own sake and not attached to the purpose of starting a family. But it's so ingrained in me by my upbringing that it's hard sometimes to justify what I'm doing here. The voices of the men in this forum have encouraged me to"rewire" my brain to consider pleasure a worthwhile goal in itself as I try to rewire my body and mind to find new sources of pleasure. The old way of thinking is such a drag on this pursuit!

I imagine that ancient precursors to modern men felt a duty to impregnate a woman or many women so that their clan would survive. They may not have had any time for foreplay as there was always competition from other men and other real dangers. Procreation had to be quick and efficient to survive. There was no time to feel pleasure, just ejaculate and get it over with. That's one theory.

It's only in modern times that we have the leisure time to pursue romantic love for another human being aside from the need to breed. We have the time and freedom to explore what gives us pleasure and what gives our lover pleasure. At least in theory. A lot of men who haven't experienced prostate message may not understand what we are doing. It's even hard for us to get a grasp on what we're doing having read this thread. But we're getting a start.

For me the challenge is to let go of the old way of thinking and feeling and open up to new ways. Will pleasure bring me happiness? I don't know but I do know that I have to find out. I keep thinking of what Joseph Campbell, the mythology chronicler, urged "follow your bliss". I think he meant that in every sense. He's the one who turned me on to how romantic love revolutionized society during the middle ages. The same is true now.

Just up all night and can't sleep for other reasons. Thought I'd expand on this thread since it started with a long message.

@pedalzzz @euphemistic

Thank you both for finding this and finding something in this to help. Pedal, I just encourage you to have fun and explore with the Progasm. I've had many great nights with it. Just relax and feel for a while. You're going to have some butterflies of excitement. Enjoy those fully too! I'd be happy to see how things go after a while. Please do contribute and share. Each man's journey is a journey for us all.

Euphemistic, I think you have a very interesting take and point on the early thoughts and perhaps goals of sexual interaction. Indeed it seems a more populous civilization has allowed us to explore pleasure for its own goal. I think you're on to something with the middle ages. The images, art, and treasure trove of artifacts left behind showed a highly sexual society in Rome, Greece, even Pompeii. I took a trip to our museum last year to see the Pompeii exhibit and one major factor was the open sexuality of the culture. Murals, statues, and other artifacts were commonly displayed in major streets. Love was a beautiful and shared experience. Now it's controversy if a woman breastfeeds in public.

I'm glad this topic got a bump for another reason.

I wanted to talk about my energy sensations that I feel. It can sound kind of crazy, kind of hookey spiritual when I talk about feeling energy and when some of us guys talk about sharing energy. What's so great about it is that I don't try to do any of this. I never have. It's just what I feel and what comes natural. I actually feel beyond my physical self at times. I have some longer posts on this forum and in my blog sharing such experiences. My first instance was with my Eupho during my first Super-O. Later I began to feel and experience the energetic pole of my body and which way my energy flowed. Later sill I was able to feel the total energy field of my body as the separate poles of energy have converged into one constant and overlapping field.

I guess if I have to put it anyway, I would put it this way. In making "progress" with my Aneros journey, it is because the journey itself is coming to me, and I'm just experiencing it as it does. I'm not a car travelling down the highway. In this instance, I'm the car sitting still, and the highway travels under me. I just sit back and enjoy what comes my way.

I want to express how refreshing this really is. There are many things in life that if we want to have them, we have to fight for them. If I want to loose weight and have a great body, I have to put in the effort. I have to dedicate energy to research on eating right and exercising. Then I have to dedicate energy to do those things. If I want to advance my education, it's long nights of studying and sacrificing sleep and a social life. I have to put in the energy to make the effort. If I want to make more money, I have to put in the energy to work harder or create something that people want to buy. If I want hot, passionate, monkey sex with my girlfriend, I put in the energy to take charge and get exactly what I want from her.

With Aneros, it gives energy back to me. It reverses that entire daily mentality. It's the one thing where I know that I can let go, trust it, and just enjoy every little thing that happens. I can relax! Pleasure for its own sake is a worthy goal. People drink or do drugs to avoid the stresses and brutal daily life at times. Wouldn't a steady throbbing of pleasure that melts over the body and lifts it to an ocean of deepening and pounding bliss of orgasmic release be better? In all of this though, I take it for what it is. I still have life to live. I still have goals that aren't sex I want to achieve, but I know Aneros, sex, pleasure, orgasms, love, are all part of what makes up my whole. As such, I don't go crazy over board obsessed. I just participate exactly as much as I want to. I see some posts talking about getting addicted to Aneros. Meh, maybe. Just depends. Perhaps at first it's just such a different feeling that guys want to keep feeling it. So what? Enjoy!

Only each and every guy can address that for themselves. I don't worry about it. I don't worry about anything with Aneros. That's been my point and my goal for a long time. I just enjoy.

Thanks guys from bringing this back to the front page. I look forward to sharing some more.

Deleted by author

@AnnieRico

Art and I have been discussing various aspects of energy sharing and energy exploration for going on four years now. It still astounds me that that much time has passed. We've had many a great late night conversation. I always admire Art's input and knowledge.