Taking a reality step back

I'm admitedly very new to this journey i've set foot on and intrigued by this almost mystic ability to internally orgasm, but im also by nature very impatient , i cant help that its just how i am, life style, work or whatever has conditioned me over the past 30 years into this way, so to me it seems like being impatient is a negative for aneros play, i would dearly love to have 2 hours a day to myself to do nothing other than meditate into the tool rubbing my prostate, but i dont or can't conciensouly spend that time, i know i should but i can't.
So over a short period of time i've gotten into strap on play with some amazingly beautiful young women who not only know what and how to do this but also deeply love doing it, i've gotten myself an aneros helix and a progasm ice, both completely different feels and sensations and last night on the way home i found myself wandering into a well known chain sex shop in London, where i'm assulted by a vast array of dongs, dildos, vibrators, massagers and every other concievable plastic wobbly thing known to man, not knowing where to turn i'm hit by the male sales assistant (honestly didn't know guys worked in these places) who asks what im into or have in mind, instantly the L'Amourose popped into mind, i'd read the testermonials, the on line reviews and when imentioned the device the guys eyes lit up light a Christmas tree, apparently he has his own and its the best thing since sliced bread (yeah right sales talk) .....20 minutes later, after a great chat i'm walking out the store with my new wobbly thing in the bag, whats more it was reduced in the pre Christmas sale (always a good thing)

so last night i found myself again on my knees and again inserting things into my back side, but this time after having lubed up and stretched a little with the progasm ice i went in on full chat hard wih the l'amourose........ and my god did it feel good, i didn't super O, but it really felt good, trying the vast array of settings i found one that pulses up and down, if i layed with my legs slightly elevated the thing sort of auto fucked me as it rode back and forth across my prostate, i found myself convusing and my legs shaking quite hard and by rocking back and forth on the base i could move the tip up further or drive it onto the prostate harder, which again fired of different really deep sensations, i eventually started watching porn, and old urges took over and i wet orgamsed, but after i was happy, i mean really happy.

So i've impaitently jumped a learning curve, and i'm making a conscience effort to stop worrying about or chasing this mystical super O, instead i'm just going to enjoy my anal play sessions for what they are, i'm having fun exploring new parts of my body with interesting toys, and if those orgasms i'm starting to enjoy get loads better then great.