Stuck in the Starting Gate?

I am in exactly the same situation. I am 3 months in, use my device every second or third day, and have tried all the advice as Zenopause has. I’m beginning to wonder if i should spend my time more proftably. I am a healthy, fit 53 yr-old, working away from my wife for 6 months at a time, and without the option of sex, so my thinking is that looking after the health of my prostate while having some form of sexual fun along the way was the way to go. And if its better than plain masturbating, so much the better.

I’ll watch this thread for answers to Zenopause’s questions.

I am farther along than you but not by much and a long way off from what most users describe here. I've been at it for about 3 months, doing a session pretty much every other day. Things were pleasurable and I got feelings of warmth, buzzing, but nothing like what people describe and had begun to wonderif I might be one of those people for whom prostate massagers just don't work. However, I had a breakthrough two nights ago when I clearly had five or six prostate orgasms. The first one had come and gone before I realized it for what it was (it happened pretty much exactly as HereByAccident's helpful post described: https://community.aneros.com/community/general-discussion/is-there-an-actual-climax-at-the-end-of-each-prostate-orgasm--if you are reading this, thank you!!!). It happened about five more times in the next 10-15 minutes. From this, I derive two possible conclusions of relevance for you. The first is merely a repetition of what everyone says---don't have an expectation and don't assume anything based on your experience of past orgasms. Once I had a pretty clearly recognizable prostate orgasm, I realized that I had had them during earlier sessions but hadn't recognized it. It is such a fundamentally different experience from the traditional orgasm that you might miss it the first few times. Going forward, I think it will be easier to genuinely get my head into a different orgasm paradigm, but its not an easy assignment at the beginning. You're trying to think sexually about physical sensations that are entirely new to your brain in this context. If you are patient and open-minded, I think part of the process is about creating a base-level set of muscle memories and experiences for your brain to start building a new paradigm with--and that takes time. The second conclusion may or may not help you, but I when I had my breakthrough session the other night, I was high as a Georgia pine. It seems like my prostate wants to get high more than my brain does, given how much buzzing immediately goes off in my groin area once the weed hits.

@Zenopause

1. How much space do you successful Aneriders put between Aneros play and good old-fashioned penile ejaculation? Should I plan a couple of days between a session and sex or wanking?

I always try for the 21 day challenge (I typically fail at 7-14 days)... the longer I go without release the more my prostate seems to "want".. after ejaculation there seems to be some down time - maybe days to a week.

I’ve found that after a session, my libido goes away for a while, and it takes more focus and a much firmer touch to conjure an erection and to ejaculate later. And even then, it doesn’t have the release it used to…it’s more like relief. ... my lack of hardness after a session has crept in a couple of times, which also concerns me.)

This happened to me too (prior to Aneros)... It seems to do with age. A regular Kegel regimine has helped.

2. Is less more? I.e., should I cap session time, regardless of outcome?

I used to have trouble sleeping... my sleep did said don't lie in bed suffering from insomnia... don't turn your (potential) sleep time into a frustration or stress or disappointment. I take that same logic and apply it to Aneros sessions. I give prostate 70 minutes (I remove the cap if I'm having Multiple orgasms of course)... if nothing is happening I pack it in for the session. I do try not to have expectations or stress.

3. I wish I could experience some kind of physiological reaction- a hard on, a bit of leaking, a few involuntaries…did anyone who made it to the deeper plateaus of MMOs, prostate orgasms, or super-Os have similar experiences to mine? If so, what changed, and how did you get past the ennui? Did you and your rear end just evolve

I'm almost always flaccid in session - so for me that's not a sign to watch for.
I don't ooze rivers of Cowper's fluid (pre-cum) - again for me not a sign (but I do have precut... much like a really, really good sexual fantasy prior to Aneros... no real difference for me there.
involuntaries are sometimes indicators for me.

What do you do for prep?
What is your stress level at the start of a session?
What is your arousal levels at insertion?
what kind of expectations are you setting?

This may help us see further suggestions!

Sorry that should say "my sleep Doc said don't lie in bed..."
and "precut" should be "pre-cum"

sorry!

@Zenopause My situation is different from yours in that sex with my wife has essentially been replaced with Aneros sessions. Since I practice male chastity as well, my ejaculatory frequency is quite low, perhaps every 10 days or so on average. But my Aneros sessions are generally quite arousing.

As far as session length, I would say that 1-3 hour sessions are almost non-existent for me now. Most of my really "good" sessions will last perhaps 40-45 minutes or so. If I am not feeling much by then, there is no point in my continuing. I will just get frustrated.

IMHO, you will have to find a "balance" between sex and prostate stimulation. Cut back on your ejaculations if possible. And be sure to be 'aroused' before starting a session; you may be surprised at the result! Just a suggestion here: most of my sessions now are in the middle of the night, after I've had a few night-time erections. For me, that is the best time and my prostate will feel the effects soon after starting the session. Good luck to you!

@Zenopause : I can pretty much relate to your feelings and I think I am in the same situation as you are except that for me it's a whole year and a week already and I still feel "stuck". Even if I was over this frustration once, it seems to be back. So in a year's time there were only 2 Sessions in which I would say I was close to something. The rest of the time it's either nothing or a nice tingling or a sudden hard on (that will be gone a few seconds later). But that's all. I can't even tell if something is touching my prostate or what it feels like. But in view of the mentioned experiences it seems to touch.

Well, as one of those who seem to need more time I may not be the best adviser or the one to answer your questions. Nevertheless I can tell you, that you're not alone. Of course everybody wants to let others know of their success, so that it seems like everyone here has been to the valley of prostate orgasms. But I think there are many who haven't. So the only thing I can say to you (and also to myself :p ) is: Keep trying, but without force 😉

HereByAccident-

For prep: always relaxed, end of evening or an afternoon alone, clean and warm. Stress, minimal; I meditate, and it's easy to let go here. Arousal is tougher to qualify- if you mean hard, then never, and I'm reluctant to touch myself per the advice of the old deckhands...if arousal means sensually receptive and eager, then always. For expectations, that's also tough. I expect to feel good, but how good I don't really anticipate. Maybe I do expect more than I've been getting, which seems counter to the real rewards. Regardless, you're a hell of a good man, and genuine thanks from a fellow pleasure seeker.

Goldenboy, Wtom, and Ruffriff- thankee kindly as well. Your experiences and advice are comforting, and I'll take them into account. Best, Z.

Oh, and wtom5561- particular thanks for describing the paradigm shift. That makes sense to me; building a new emotional/mental platform into a lifetime of two-dimensional pleasure does seem like a worthy, long-term investment. 'Ceptin' that I don't get high. What's your thinking re. booze and Aneriding?