Straight sex

First off, forget porn.  It is mostly faked or at least exaggerated in some way or another, and without knowing what real sex is, it is hard to discern what is representative of reality.

There are so many reasons that sex, even in its most vanilla bean flavor, can be wonderful, that are impossible to show in pornography.  Emotional bonding, shared moments together, smells, tastes, sights, sounds, touch, and synesthesia of these senses...  It seems that out of all of these things, pornography can only convey sights and sounds, and only poorly.  The sights are usually skewed to please the male gaze, as men are the number one clients of pornography.  The sounds are either well recorded but fake (in mainstream porn), or poorly recorded and possibly real (in homemade porn).

So in answer to your question: everything, when I have a strong connection with my partner.

Don't think that straight sex has to be vanilla, whatever vanilla means.  Actually vanilla is a troublesome word.  If my gal caresses my hands to multiple orgasms, is that vanilla sex?  Anyways, sex with a partner, no matter what their gender or sexual preference, is whatever the two of you decide for it to be.  With each partner you reinvent the wheel.  I recommend being super open about your orgasmic abilities when the conversation of sex comes up with a potential partner, or when you have already started kissing and doing things together.  Don't expect a new partner to know anything about your prostate.  Talk with them, show them.  If you are interested in women, you are lucky, because while young men generally have gestures learned from porn, young women have watched less porn and are more open to alternative pleasures because they haven't been influenced.

In terms of who gets pleasure... I suggest you learn how to last long in bed and how to pleasure a partner (again, whatever their gender).  Maybe you will find a partner that wants to please you all day, but probably not.  More likely, you will find someone that wants to be pleased sexually as much as you do, and you both will take turns getting each other off. Personally I love seeing my partner come hard.  It makes me feel happy.  Ditto for her getting me off.

But don't get too theoretical about things, it's like learning to swim without water.  Go out and see for yourself!

@refasme

Posted by: @refasme

I don't find straight sex attractive.

That’s exactly the type of thing porn does. IMO,a 20 year old straight kid not attracted to sex is unhealthy. (Assuming your straight).I’ll also assume assume you started with straight porn,but have become desensitised to it,as now you branch out into other genres.

Posted by: @refasme

who enjoy straight sex, what is it that you like in it ?

I’ve loved sex since the first time and that’s going on 30 years. Sex is fantastic,pleasurable,and always better with someone else. Over my life,I’ve loved fucking my wife to orgasms,I’ve enjoyed giving her pleasure,and in turn that’s given me immense pleasure. Yes there is some pride involved in seeing to a woman’s needs,that just comes with the territory of being a man. I’ve came in her 10 or 20 thousand times probably,god knows lol and loved every one of them. Especially the ones where I put babies into her. Very satisfying ejaculatimg inside a female,especially knowing it brings her instantly to orgasm.  Don’t know why you think it’s all the girl,I can assure it’s not. Nothing on this planet can massage a penis like a female vagina,the vagina can generate some kick ass p-waves and bring a man to fantastic orgasms. Luckily I can both sex and prostate. But if I had to give one up forever,it’d be prostate. The journey will never provide the intimacy,love and connection of a partner. 
Ive enjoyed the intimacy of us becoming one body,exploring our sex lives,building our sex and non sex lives,syncing up joint climaxes together,cuddling and loving each other in the afterglow. There’s too many positives to list really.

Posted by: @refasme

I would argue that amateur porn and homemade porn kinda give a view of what it's actually like.

So here's why i think that straight "vanilla" sex is not so pleasurable, for the guy. It seems like everything revolves around pleasuring the girl, not the guy. It's all about having the right technique, lasting long, making Her come etc. And all of this for a mere ejaculation and no prostate pleasure at all. Meanwhile the girl can just lay down and enjoy the ride, and come multiple times if the guy is "good at sex"

Amateur porn just as bad. You already have a skewed view of sexual performance. There is a ‘right’ technique,you must last long,making her cum…Why wouldn’t you want the girl to come? Your not a very nice partner if you don’t see the big deal in her Cumming lol. Female orgasm is very pleasureable,the musculature of the vagina contract and shake,giving the penis more intense sensations. It also builds sexual confidence,something sadly lacking in today’s porn drenched world. 
She just lays down and cums a lot? Sounds like you see women as sexual objects with little value as the aren’t worth a paltry ejacualtion. There is much to explore with sex,it’s only as vanilla as you make it. Find a girl,explore and pleasure together.

Ill second divine_o and say forget the porn. It’s doing you no favours kid. 

Posted by: @refasme

So my general question here is guys who enjoy straight sex, what is it that you like in it ?

I'm a 20 yo virgin male and from my point of view, gay or lesbian sex both seem far hotter than straight sex.

Are you sure you're not gay? I mean it's possible you've overdosed on porn and your dopamine center is flooded. Did you ever like straight porn?

I just like most things about female body. How small they're compared to me. Thighs are my fetish. I like the soft skin and curves. The strange shape of a pussy, how soft and wet it gets when you lick it. It's just tits that very rarely do something for me. They need to be exceptionally perky to draw my attention, although big nipples help. I like a nice piece of ass, but everyone has a different idea what a nice ass is.

Wow. Okay, at first I thought you watch gay sex, both male and female (which, again citing those posting before me, is extremely faked, but I'll have to come back to that), because you want to be with a man, or have a gay experience. But homosexuals, like the many I'm friends with and have known during the last 20+ years, that have sex with each other do it for the same heterosexuals do: because sex of any kind with another human being, with any kind of personal/emotional/soulful connection, is completely and utterly the greatest human experience a person can have that makes a person feel completely and totally "human." Two humans copulating is a very powerful force of nature. The heat generated between them. The lasting feeling of what just happened to each person's body, what happened inside and out, and how long that feeling can last. The extreme mental exertion of processing so many things happening all at the same time; its like a conversation between 20 people condensed into just two people. It is, literally, a sensory overload.

And what the hell is "vanilla" sex anyway? When you don't do anal? When the woman doesn't "want" to be choked? When the man doesn't actually say out loud "yah bb, take my cock into your asshole"?? I've had sex with my wife for a little over 22 years now and there wasn't this concept of "vanilla sex" back in 1999 that I can remember. We were lucky to be fucking at all! I didn't know what it was going to feel like, she really didn't either, we just went for it when we were ready. It was hot as fuck almost right from the second we started. The moon was full, we were in my shitty apartment on my tiny twin bed, her skin was like silk it was so soft, but what got me was looking into her eyes as I thrusted and watch her have orgasms. The almost agony/desperation in her eyes the moment before each orgasm (I lucked out, my wife can have dozens and dozens of orgasms, she cums instantly and continuously regardless of what I or she does), it was like this soul-connection thing going on. I wore a condom (of course) and when my orgasm came on I realized what was happening and I realized she was lit up by the moon through the blinds, and her long thick black hair spread out all over the pillow, and my god when I came in her it wasn't the best orgasm I ever had, but it was the most "spiritual" or "soulful" one I'd ever had. I didn't know an orgasm could feel like that. There's some kind of connection-induced strength to my orgasms when I'm with her. Even when she's giving me a blowjob intent to make me shoot ropes straight down her throat and choke on them hard because she honestly likes it so much, there's something about the orgasm that I can't replicate alone.

Don't get me wrong, I've been having Os with the Aneros for the last 7 or so years, although I've used Aneros toys since 2004 (I just hadn't awakened my prostate it took 10 years!), and I've had some of the most amazing orgasmic and sexual experiences I've ever had while alone. There are things I can do to myself that my wife cannot do. There are ways I can get off that I just can't replicate with her. HOWEVER, I wouldn't have had my first for real hands free prostate orgasm if she wasn't the one moving the gspot wand in me. I owe my prostate unlocking to her. But I had used the Aneros in sex with her prior to this. She's pegged me many times over the last 16 or so years. The kinds of orgasms, prostate ones, that you want to continue having can be had with a straight partner. Sometimes my wife makes me have way more orgasms than I can have alone when I wear a prostate toy or she bangs me with a realistic dildo (I recommend the dual density silicone ones, with veins if possible!!). The "non-vanilla" sex you seek or desire can for sure happen with a straight partner of the opposite sex!

My lesbian friend once admitted to me and another person at the dinner table that she actually preferred to watch male gay porn over everything because "you can actually see them cumming and its not fake" like lesbian porn, or straight porn, which she really didn't ever watch. She is attracted all kinds of women and the ones I find hot she finds hot, too. So, like her, you might be feeling the same way about porn, but that's not the way real life is. My lesbian friend loves orgasms, having them and giving them with the women she hooks up with. She doesn't like fake shit.

Porn is FAKE SHIT. Its really just plain old shit. You think that "amateur" couple you're watching is legit? Like the ones on Pornhub, those "real couples" out there? You think they don't make money off their online content? How do they make that money? Views! Amateur porn makes the viewer think that their normal life can be like their "normal" life. All you are seeing is a lower budget, point of view, male dominated act that is called 'intercourse with a female.' The porn industry as we knew it before YouPorn is dead and buried. Everything is "amateur" now because there are no video stars, just internet starlets. Porn today is designed to desensitize you so that you consume more varieties of porn and make them more money from ad revenue. The view you are seeing is the view of a director, it is not the way real sex is between two people. Faces aren't really that close because it obscures the view. Actual penetration isn't really like what you see on the screen; its not all big long strokes and leg-spread, fully exposed genitalia. I know it looks hot, it does, I've watched it all for a long time.

But I completely quit porn 17 weeks ago and my outlook is different. Porn made me sick. Morally its crossed the line with all the incest porn. How is this a fantasy? Its stupid. But that's where porn is; that's where porn has moved the idea--no, ideal--of what straight sex is supposed to be. You can never know what a vagina feels like, what the full sensory experience of it is really like, by watching anything on screen. Maybe solo female masturbation close up videos with contractions and pulsations and oozing wet goodness (ok I love these kinds of videos its 99% the bulk of what I used to watch!), but its still just sounds and sights. Imagine cupping that vulva in your hand, feeling it ripple against your skin. Sometimes the wetness just comes right out instantly, not as squirt, but from inside; it is letting you know that it wants your cock, desperately. Lately, my wife has been demanding my cock with almost no foreplay at all; I want to suck her clit and tongue her lovely wet folds but she's wet and ready and just wants me in her. How can I NOT comply with these demands???!!?

Anyway, what I'm getting at is this: if you are attracted to lesbian porn, is there anything you would want to do with a woman? Are you attracted to the pornography of two women together, or real women in the real world?

Also, are you so convinced that you can't have prostate orgasms AND be in a healthy, fun, committed and amazing heterosexual relationship? Are you considering gay sex just because you need to have prostate orgasms that badly?

If I know one thing it is this: if you, as a man, want to have sex with a woman, you better be prepared to love pussy and feel something completely amazing. It is nothing to be afraid of but it can bring the fear of God into my soul if it makes me feel just right!!!

Thanks for your

Posted by: @techpump

and my god when I came in her it wasn't the best orgasm I ever had, but it was the most "spiritual" or "soulful" one I'd ever had.

and your (and others') paragraphs on

Posted by: @techpump

Porn is FAKE SHIT (...)

Both may help me appreciate more what I do have and light the path towards a healthier relationship with sex beyond this male brain under the influence of porn.

Posted by: @techpump

If I know one thing it is this: if you, as a man, want to have sex with a woman, you better be prepared to love pussy and feel something completely amazing.

HEY!!! Damn,if I didn’t have a vagina in my life,it wouldn’t be worth living lololol. 

I would like to add (unless I missed it above, then, I second) that sex isn’t even all about the actual sex. I find the foreplay way hotter and more pleasurable than when I finally enter her. This is a recent (last 3-4 years) discovery for us and we’ve been married almost 18 years.

We started with the typical “foreplay is to get her wet” mentality then I would try to last long enough to, hopefully, make her cum. That never worked. She doesn’t work that way. If I lasted a long time, she would get sore and want me to finish quickly. 

A few years ago, we had a real talk about what we wanted and discovered a lot about each other. The biggest thing was that she needed pure clit stimulation with some added nipple play to cum. She also discovered that she can drive me wild with prostate and nipple play along with intense edging hand jobs. 

We can play like this for hours and when we are finally done, we come together with sex that only lasts a few minutes but is amazing, purely because of how worked up and hot we both are. 

To me, making her feel good is not a chore, its super arousing. It’s the same for her. When she edges me, even if we’re not planning on sex, she gets very horny and will usually beg for an orgasm, which always leads to sex. For both of us, giving the other pleasure is pleasurable (and arousing) in itself.