Shower diverter douche

Last mention of "shower diverter" douche gear, I could find in the Forum was about five years ago --- http://www.aneros.com/forum/f5/enema-how-9413/ -- So, I thought I'd post this.

Despite regularity, daily fibre and pro-biotic yogurt, my diet isn't perfect. "Over age fifty" diverticuli result in less than ideal fiber scavenging of particulates and small chunks (aka tiny turds). So, I douche before serious sessions and most foreplay.

For a variety of reasons, I wanted to divorce myself from the regular nuisance of bags, hoses and bulbs. On more than one occasion, supposed "non-return" checks haven't worked and that has made for questionable cleanup.

I briefly considered a bidet toilet seat but my wife had doubts about the ability of household help to deal with it's complexity and technology. (Anything more complex than a mop is subject to destruction.) Five-hundred to eight-hundred bucks was also a consideration.

I had ignored 'shower diverters' on the sex-toy websites as not for me. However, I usually douche three times a week and I wasn't happy with the gear I was using. Last week I was at the Leather Shop buying a new Maximus. I asked the owner if he knew where I might buy a shower adapter for anal douching. He said I was in the right place and that, "..MINE HAS STANDARD U.S. PIPE THREADS SO YOU WON'T HAVE TO MESS WITH SOMETHING METRIC THAT YOU GET FROM THE WEB." .....sold!

While a shower diverter isn't suitable (and is probably unsafe) for any regular enema or colon cleanse (even if you are horizontal) it's proven ideal for a quick, standing douche. There's nothing to store and little to clean. Aesthetically it's a good match to the other accessories in our shower and, it meets the "decor criteria" of my better half.

(I think that has to do with the failure of Martha Stewart to color co-ordinate bathroom towels with the various shades of red, pink, black and yellow rubber in current "hygiene" gear-- not forgetting the bright blue bulb on my last syringe.) 🙂 😆

I installed the douche diverter valve closest to the wall and the hand-shower valve between the douche valve and the main shower head. That arrangement allows me to turn the douche off without water coming out of the main shower head. Instead, the water just trickles out of the hand-shower into the shower drain. My bod and feet are dry when I step out of the shower and head for the toilet. Any small drips or squirts are easily handled with a wad of toilet paper.

Life's easier. No more refilling a syringe bulb. No more accidental burps of air up the ass from a partially filled bulb. Fewer lube farts. While a gravity bag will continue to support my monthly cleanse, the shower diverter is my new buddy for a quick douche.

The standing posture seems to avoid any "spill-over" into my sygmoid colon. Far easier than squatting over a toilet (which always seemed to be a 'three-handed' task.) This was the best fifty-bucks I've spent in a long time!!

Suggestions:

City Water Chemistry: If there's a high level of halogens in your tap water you may wish to avoid this altogether. Our water softner and filter seems to strip most of the clorine related stuff out of our water so I'm OK with a tap water douche (still use bottled distilled H2O for the monthly cleanse.)

Gear: If you buy from the web, ascertain that the pipe threads will match your shower.

Nozzles: The nozzle that comes with the rig is the one you're probably stuck with. Mine is chrome over brass and about the same diameter as my Helix -- doesn't require much lube and works for me. There was also a smaller nozzle that might be used with a rectal tube for those who want some flex or a smaller diameter.

Initial "calibration:" Get a small stream going and use a measuring cup to learn how many seconds it takes spew out your preference -- I like about 5-6 ounces which takes a slo-count of four with the stream I chose.

Operation: Open the hand shower valve so that you don't drench yourself while douching. Adjust to your favorite stream, clear any air bubbles from the hose, close the diverter valve, lube, insert, open the valve and time it. You'll get it done in less time that it took to read these three sentences. Head for the toilet, discharge, back to the shower -- etc. Clean up is simple and quick when you shower.

Caution: Inside a shower you're most likely in a posture ill-suited to a large enema or colon irrigation -- don't even think it!