Shot to the heart

I've had my MGX for almost a year now. I was a diligent student and read everything that I could on the forums and the wiki before I made my purchase, so I thought I would be ahead of the curve. The first time I tried it, nothing, nada as most can attest to their first experience. I backslid for a month and used the aneros for edging with good results. Then I forgot about it for about six months.

I started to read the forums again and give it a shot in earnest. Tried for a few more weeks with various techniques suggested on the forum. Again, no such luck. Part of the problem was that I would try for a few weeks and then stop due to lack of interest. Also another problem looking back was that I could not approach the use of the aneros as different from regular masturbation. I thought, wrongly, that the same procedures would work. In fact the whole mind set is different. Regular masturbation is mostly about forcefully making something happen. This does not work with aneros. You have to let the feeling gently arise in yourself, gently coaxing it, like trying to hear a whisper.

Also, another thing, from my own personal observations, the best results I have is when the session is meditative. That is, clearing my mind (specifically of expectations), concentrating on my breath and observing the sensations. And when the sensations arise I make no effort to "chase the feeling" with contractions. Just deep breathing (4-8 seconds inhaling and then exhaling) for about about 20 minutes and then after holding the breath in for 2 seconds which creates the slightest contraction.

I was getting no results from the usual positions discussed on the forums, so I experimented. I came to a position that allowed me to relax and created a subtle pressure on the aneros. On the floor, on knees and forearms, with arms crossed or parallel, against or just above the knees, head and shoulders on the floor or pillow.

On the second attempt of trying the aforementioned position, I was doing deep breathing and was finding a meditative "zone" where I was feeling very in tune with the sensations that aneros was creating. No real thoughts in my head, just concentrating on the breath and going with the flow. After about 20 minutes I noticed that my breathing had become faster by just a bit. This lasted for just about 30 seconds and then *BAM!!* my heart rate shot through the roof! It was like a hypodermic had been slammed in my heart with a dose of adrenaline. Then I started to feel the aneros start to move on it's own like some sort of self-propelled piston. I thought to myself, "Oh $#@%, this is it!! I gotta keep maintaining what I am doing or I might loose it." Then 10 seconds later the phone rings. ARRRRGGG!!! The spell was broken. The timing! Curses! Try as I might I could not get there again (because I was trying to get there, cruel irony!).

Anyway, this gave me a taste of what the aneros can do and it is real. I have had a few unsuccessful sessions after that one (expectations are the road block I am thinking). Looking forward to future exploration.