same sex erotic attraction

@tbob it is never too late to pursue your desires in a safe way. Life is short so enjoy to the fullest extent today and do not wait for tomorrow. Just my 2cents opinion.

Very much like @prostatemilker too.

Strong same sex erotic attraction but hetero-romantic.

I think I couldn't fall in love with a man, but would enjoy sex with one.

I had a little gay sex in my twenties, enjoyed it, but felt bad about it.

I'm now married to a woman for almost 20 years. Less and less sex in our couple for several reasons.

Now my sexual fantasies are almost always about gay sex.

Some time ago I had a long, hot text chat with a man that I know a bit. He's gay and he told me he'd like to have sex with me, that aroused me a lot. But when he mentioned he'd like to kiss me, it cooled my enthusiasm.

(sorry for being a bit off topic - Somebody here messages me, but I can't answer as I haven't enough messages in this forum yet)

@arousalfr that is me - I messaged you a few minutes ago 🙂

@arousalfr very similar thoughts with me.  As I get older, it seems my romantic dimension and my sexual dimension have gone their separate ways.  Perhaps this is due to my sexless marriage.  I love my wife a great deal - and thus over the many years of being sexless it seems I associate love in the absence of sex and sex in the absence of love.  Which is why men make up the vast majority of my erotic fantasies.

@rockwellcollinshf2050 ahah yes I know, wasn't sure you'd like if I mentioned publicly it's you 🙂

@arousalfr yes - I'm quite ok with that!  🙂  I sent you a message with my email - given that you don't yet have enough posts to reply through here.

@rockwellcollinshf2050 That's a bit different for me, I think I always had that difference between romantic and sexual dimensions, but it wasn't clear for me at the beginning. I considered I was simply "bisexual", if not a gay man who wouldn't admit it.

It's only recently I realised that one could in the same time have a gay/bisexual sex drive and a straight romantic drive.

That might partially explain my difficulties in the love field 🙂

@arousalfr so often things are not clear in one's youth.  In my early years - I had lots of same sex erotic thoughts but worked to repress them and pursed opposite sex erotic thoughts.  Those same sex erotic thoughts manifested in harder erections and more rapid orgasm/ ejaculation than the opposite sex thoughts.  By age 27 I accepted that it was ok to have same sex erotic thoughts and I no longer repressed them.  In the early years with my wife a few years later opposite sex erotic thoughts about her worked well - but then she lost interest in sex.  At that point I came to a place where my erotic thought s were same sex, my romantic thoughts opposite sex.

It is all so complicated - and in the past society demand we repress things.

@rockwellcollinshf2050 not only in the past, still now. But not exactly the same things. Being gay today is of course less difficult. But I think that discrepancy between sex and romantic inclinations doesn't make sense to most of us.

I always "accepted" my gay erotic thoughts. I recall masturbating at sexy men pictures even before puberty. But of course I wouldn't tell anybody.

I was maybe 22 or 23 when I find the "courage" to enter a gay sauna, where I lost my virginity to a nice couple of men, but I was very ashamed after that.

I guess society's restrictions have eased but it's still difficult for many men to explore same sex attraction in a safe way that doesn't involve hurt to loved ones or major deception.  

@iopas that is a good point.  Society's restrictions have eased - in some places more than others.  There are still barriers to exploration.  Society tends to look more favourably on bisexual women than bisexual men, for example.

In the case of bisexual men, its fairly easy to shove aside same sex thoughts if you have an opposite sex partner ready, willing and able to enjoy sex.  But if you are physically separated, say by work assignments, military postings, or if her desire for sex evaporates - say menopause, perimenopause etc. the same sex thoughts really step forward.

@iopas : yes. That's why my "exploration" stopped almost completely since I'm married 🙂

It’s comforting to read such similar experiences and the same distinctions being made between romantic and sexual attraction. It’s a level of honesty in conversation I’ve denied myself by not outwardly identifying as bisexual or pansexual. So, thank you, everyone.

I’m slightly jealous of those of you who had same sex experiences prior to marriage.

@dismantled you had yours only during your marriage ? 😀

I tried to be straight and married..had kids.  Ironically she left me..I wanted to try harder to make it work out.  Looking back I am so glad it didn't. Im broke for life but it would have been hell with her.  I can't stand any time around her now.

One weekend after we separated I had my best friend from another town visiting.  We always made lots of jokes about doing things together.  he is still happily married to a woman.  One night we were having lots of drinks and watching some 3d porn.  He asked how big I was and asked me to show him.  I wasn't sure if he was serious so I said no (still pretending to be straight).  He showed me his so I was ok to show mine.  As soon as I did he grabbed it and it was like a switch flipped.  No more holding back!  We played around that night...and one other time.  Unfortunately it kind of made our relationship awkward afterwards and he is still happily married.  Probably regrets it but I know he's definitely into guys also.

After that there was no going back for me.  I started looking for some fun online..but was never one ot just have hookups.  After chatting with one guy for many weeks we finally met for some fun.  We've been together now for 12 years. 🙂

@hankey01 Hi.  Back when I was a teenager around 12 13 I had a few buddy’s and I have older brothers that would give me there playboy books. Sonmy buddy’s and I would go to my boat house and hang out and read them.. well ok look at the pictures. Lol. After time went on we started to show off our hair around our balls and under arms. Yeah where becoming men. Lol.  Little Longer went on. And then we decided to compare dick sizes.  Lol. Then some how we were all looking at playboys and jacking off in the corners of the boat house.  Time went on then we were touching each other and sucking each other off. I think by then we were 16 17 years old. It was cool but I knew it wasn’t me.
then one night my parents was gone for a week and we had a few party’s with some girls over,  one of my cousins like my friend and after we all had a few drinks, I walked into a room and my buddy was fucking my hot cousin on the pool table.  Wow what a sight to see. They didn’t know I was there watching. A few minutes t later my cousin girlfriend came up to me and asked what I was doing. I just pointed,  lol.  Next thing I knew she was sucking my cock. I didn’t know what to do . I just let it happen.  Hmmm 40 years later I haven’t been with a guy sense.  I get the male to male or female to female. It’s life and if that’s what you find love in that fine with me. I just don’t like the Society pushing it.   This site has opened me up to I lot in me I think it’s great.  Cheers.

@hometownboy Get on a website like A4A and go to the professional masseur section. They will indicate whether they include a happy ending (or more). Others are Sniffies and of course Grindr. www.sniffies.com caters more to the curious, bi, DL. You can always ask the masseur what he’s willing to do. I would just go initially with a nice relaxing massage on your stomach and when you turn over he’ll massage you and include your scrotum and penis. You’ll probably become aroused and then he can jack you off to ejaculation.

@rockwellcollinshf2050 I’ve had straight friends who are in general not attracted to other males, but were attracted specifically (and secretly) to me. I was a safe and trusted outlet for them, even though I knew their wives and kids. Married men seeking out sex with other men is about as common as a common cold.

@iopas as a defensive mechanism, a lot of married men compartmentalize same-gender sex and say it isn’t cheating. Of course, that’s BS, but that’s just fine for me as a gay man who caters to DL guys!  😆 I don’t judge, and your heterosexual marriage is of zero interest to me.

@hankey01 👍🏾👍🏾

Posted by: @prostatemilker

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Just wondering if there are other guys like myself who are married to a woman, monogamous, but who experience strong same sex erotic attraction while being otherwise oriented towards women? In other words, hetero-social, hetero-romantic, but homo-erotic or bi-erotic.

@ggringo Why won’t it likely happen??

Posted by: @kjoqsupplicant

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@ggringo Why won’t it likely happen??

Am now retired and spend most of my time at home with my better half; no more business trips.   Life moved on and opportunities evapirated.  No complaints but thank the stars for my wild imagination.

For some reason, and I can’t mail it down using Aneros and being part of this community has opened my mind to the possibility of sharing and Aneros session in person and following our desires.  I already have cam sessions with other men and have my eyes open for the opportunity to be with another man in the flesh

My wife is amazing and we have done every single possible to each other sexually. She pegs like a champ! Through anal exploration I started using more dildos, then realistic ones. The realistic dildos just feel better to me. 

I've always, always been heavily attracted to and very interested in, almost scholarly-level, human genitalia. I am beyond fascinated with penises and clitorises. I can't get enough. They get hard. They are needed for procreation and human species continuation. They bring insane amounts of pleasure to people. They can also be used on other people too for pleasurable purposes.

My deepest fantasy is to do things with a huge clit. Been a long time since I wanted to do this. My wife is good sized, but I need like three times the size. As fantasies and obsession with big clits grew, my acceptance of erect cocks also grew. My aneros and non-real dildo play and sessions started to involve realistic dildos. 

My wife used to be able to deepthroat me and it was a lot of effort for her to do it, took like 4 years until she could almost take all of me. She'd give me really long oral like 10+ minutes, once she blew me for a straight hour. The longer she gave me head, as the years passed, the more cerebral fellatio became for me. It was like I was her sometimes, giving myself head. I get wayyyy into the zone! then I'd imagine how wonderful it would be to give pleasure like this to a cock that wasn't mine, where I'd get lost in a fantasy of that other man getting what I'm getting on my cock at that second, but me giving it to him.

So one day I wondered if I could deepthroat a cock too. And on first try, a 7" thin tapered realistic cock went all the way down my throat. I had only a shirt on standing up with the suction cup on my desk, and I did it again, I broke out into a sweat, my heart was beating so so fast, breathing shallow and short, I blushed and was flush with blood my skin got red, and I felt one of the most erotic feelings I've ever felt. I've felt that before with my wife, so it was amazing that just giving a dildo head for a few seconds produced this in me. My cock shot out and got rock hard so hard it kinda hurt in just a few seconds without me touching it. Then I proceeded to deepthroat this toy for minutes and it felt so good, it actually felt good in my mouth and throat to do this. My personal solo love affair deepthroating dildos began.

My wife had pegged me before, but now with realistic cocks, she got way more into it, and she made me throat her every time. So fun! She'd say "now you feel what its like deepthroating me after all these years of me struggling on you!" Fantastic! Deepthroating made anal from dildos feel even better. Then I started working my cock while having dildos down my throat, what a rush that is. Cumming with a cock down your throat is challenging and wild, it is indescribable and repeatable if possible 😉 Having Aneros toys in me while sucking dildos is super fun too, like two things are working me front and back. 

So, last year while having lots of fun with my wife while on mdma, I told her I wanted a real cock and she already knew I wanted to try one I'd told her long before. But she replied "how do we make this happen its time you tried!" I said I don't know I don't want to cheat. She said its just sex, we have love, that is just sex, you know the difference. She knows I know the difference. I do for sure. She knows the difference too. So, after a little more discussion and making fully sure she was okay with it, I booked a transwoman escort. I did not wait but just a week to find one and then saw her a month later. Not to rush into it, but to just take full advantage while I was present in the want of it.

The time came, it was amazing. It wasn't as great as I thought it would be, and then parts of it were even better than anything I dreamed of or could imagine. She could deepthroat me fully, which was simply unreal, never felt that before and her mouth did things my wife's never could do. Then I told her I wanted to give her head. I told her the whole story just as I wrote it down here of how I came to be with her when I decided to book her, and at the moment of truth between her legs, I told her sucking her cock was the first of my life. The excitement and just sheer "is this actually happening, is it real??!" as I got between her legs was astounding. Striking, the feelings at that moment. And sucking her cock was exquisite. I know how soft penis can be, like the slippery skin aspect of a hard cock, but man it was something else. She was easy to deepthroat, just at about 6" hard and I can take about 9" down my throat, not easy, but I can. I'm a freak!!! She didn't cum from my oral, she wanted to fuck me and I wanted her in me; after years of toys and prostate Os, I had to have Os from a real cock pounding me.

She did me twice and I never had prostate Os like that, ever. They were bigger than full-body Os. I did an out-of-body to look at myself and I felt like I was a woman in movies I've seen who were getting it hard and good and the woman was losing it uncontrollably, like I had to actually grab a pillow and bite down on it I was yelling so much!! After she did me once, I gave her head again, and then she fucked me one more time. I left very happy.

Would I repeat? Maybe. My wife said I can see transwomen really anytime I'm comfy doing so. But I really just wanted to try once, that sexual experience was so unique and something worth having once in my life, its so nice just "knowing" now. I haven't seen her again but maybe would, not sure. I love my wife more than anything in the world. She wants me to experience life to its fullest within the realms of being safe and careful. Escorts are risky! But if you find the right one, it is memorable, safe and exceptionally fun.

Am I attracted to men? Was I before or after my escort experience with a transwoman? No. Men look good to me, but everyone has some qualities I like to say "they look good!" I look at women for sexual/erotic reasons. Not men. No gay porn. No desires to be with a man, hold hands, go on a date, make out, or have sex. My escort was probably more feminine than most women I've ever known. I liked that about her, she was very womanly and girly. Men are men, and I'm not into men, I'm into doing things with a penis. Sexuality is weird as fuck right?!? 

If I never do anything with a real penis again I'm fine. I want to again for sure, but it is a bit of work to make happen regardless of the source of said penis 😉 Thanks everyone for sharing their thoughts and stories of now and the past. 

@techpump great story!  Thanks for sharing.

I've had a few oral sex sessions with my best friend way gack as teenagers and the memory is etched in my mind forever. We never had penetrative sex but the experience by itself was out of this world. 

Ironically, back then, I despised the idea of gay sex and today, (some 45 to 50 years later) I find myself being bi-curious even knowing an encounter will never happen.  I blame Aneros for this while I thank them for opening my eyes.

Anyways, the intent of this reply was to respectfully ask you if you and your wife ever consider a three-way connection with a trans where both of you would benefit?

@techpump wow what a nice read!! I really enjoyed reading about your experience. Have fun.