same sex erotic attraction

@islandprostatemilker you are not alone. I had a brief oral sex encounter with a male friend when I was a teenager and now i revisit the memory on a regular basis. I'm not gay but I would certainly not be adverse to relive such an experience even if I know it will most likely never happen. It is society that erects (no pun intended) fences in this world but luckily, our imagination allows us to go beyond them.

Life is wonderful.

Thanks for the response - I hope others will chime in. My fantasies and my erotic dreams and wet dreams are always same sex.

Hello
I am a happily married heterosexual male of 40 years. I was always bicurious and acted on it 20 years ago a couple of times with an individual I felt was safe. Well it has been 20 years and this feelings have returned. I am 65 and my wife, the same age and our sex lives have become nothing at all. She seems very happy with that. I myself have stayed very sexually active thru masturbation and now the aneros play. I have watched a video of a guy on guy massage that proceeded beyond what would be expected. I found this very arousing. I have gone as far as responding to a craigslist add for discreet massage but got a response that he was only interested in women. A couple of days later he contacted me and said he would reconsider as he always wondered what it would be like with a guy. the video had a massager massaging the guy on the table and the massagee turned his head and initiated oral sex on the massager.

I am really curious where this would go. I haven't gone any further as he is only avail on evenings and weekends and that is sacred family time. Hmmmmm - what to do. He said he normally charges $100 hour but if I wanted to consider it, he would take a small donation to see just how and where it would go. Your views??

I think if you keep looking you would find somebody who does not charge and who would enjoy it as much as you. Someone who also is about your age, in a sexless marriage etc. A friend who you can share some non-sexual interests too, but when you have total privacy the two of you can share some fun.

I identify as gay, but also have fantasies about the opposite sex sometimes. It just is rarely acted on. Even in the gay world, it isn't that accepted to switch back and forth - although nothing wrong with it. When I have had sexual experiences with women, I've walked away and enjoyed it but don't consider myself confused or straight! It's completely normal to have attractions and fantasies for both sexes - but I've very certain and comfortable that I'm gay. That said, I'm going to keep enjoying the occasional interaction with the opposite sex if I get the itch.

Variety is the spice of life.

Just wondering if there are other guys like myself who are married to a woman, monogamous, but who experience strong same sex erotic attraction while being otherwise oriented towards women?

From the Aneros WIKI ->
"The learning process and training which leads to being "rewired" can have a profound impact on some men, others may experience only slight alterations to their cognitive processes. In any event the process does has a transformative effect on a man's thinking about himself and his world view.

Like any sexual experience Aneros usage may bring to fore emotionally charged issues concerning sexual practices and even gender identification beliefs."

Human sexuality exists along a circular continuum with homosexuality and heterosexuality as polar markers along that continuum. Where you find yourself along that continuum is a fluid state of being. Over the course of your life you may notice shifts in your sexual fantasies, interests, desires and activities toward or away from one of the polar definitions, IMHO, this is perfectly natural (see the user polls Male Sexual Orientation Here, Sex and sexual orientation poll" & Straight to curious poll). Aneros use and practice has altered the thought paradigms about sex and sexual orientation for many men. Your forum question is an example of this opening up of thought and challenging the societal homophobia in contemporary culture. So, in answer to your question, it is definitely YES, other guys do experience similar feelings of same sex attraction. Whether you act on those feelings or not is an entirely different topic. Good Vibes to You !

Hello
I am a happily married heterosexual male of 40 years. I was always bicurious and acted on it 20 years ago a couple of times with an individual I felt was safe. Well it has been 20 years and this feelings have returned. I am 65 and my wife, the same age and our sex lives have become nothing at all. She seems very happy with that. I myself have stayed very sexually active thru masturbation and now the aneros play. I have watched a video of a guy on guy massage that proceeded beyond what would be expected. I found this very arousing. I have gone as far as responding to a craigslist add for discreet massage but got a response that he was only interested in women. A couple of days later he contacted me and said he would reconsider as he always wondered what it would be like with a guy. the video had a massager massaging the guy on the table and the massagee turned his head and initiated oral sex on the massager.

I am really curious where this would go. I haven't gone any further as he is only avail on evenings and weekends and that is sacred family time. Hmmmmm - what to do. He said he normally charges $100 hour but if I wanted to consider it, he would take a small donation to see just how and where it would go. Your views??

my views, for what they are worth: think very carefully before going ahead with this. it requires lying to your wife. there are consequences and feelings from that you might not anticipate. right now, you are thinking with your dick. make sure you have engaged your brain before going forward.

my solution is to stay within monogomy by using the aneros to have any "virtual" sex i want. the great thing about virtual sex is that it is as totally awesome as you want it to be.

darwin

I'm 32 and recently, I've started to acknowledge that I was attracted to men. It's not as much as my attraction to women but it's hard to not ignore. I enjoy watching gay porn especially with guys jacking off or jacking off together. I've also come to enjoy having erotic chats and camming with other men.

I am 66 and happily married. We have a great relationship and a very fulfilling sex life.
I have been using Aneros massagers for just over 2 years now and I am experiencing many wonderful prostate orgasms. My wife is aware and supportive of me using the Aneros massagers and the health benefits I seem to be having not to mention the increased libido. I have had an attraction about having sex with another man for a long time now and I have to admit that during my sessions, when the Aneros toy is pulsing and I am orgasming, It feels like this must be what it is like to have penetrative sex with a very caring man. I keep thinking, I would like to experience this and I have started to read Craigslist ads. I am not at all sure I can actually act on my inclinations.

In other words, hetero-social, hetero-romantic, but bi-erotic.

@islandprostatemilker, that's how I would describe my life, too, btw thanks for your interesting question.

Between us, since decades accustomed to my monogamous hetero relationship and still in romantic love with her, though nowadays it means no more than kissing and cuddling, for quite some time my sex life has been reduced to some side leaps with the same sex and, of course, self-satisfaction.

Since puberty attracted to both sexes equivalently I always failed to understand the society made fences @GGringo mentioned. I remember an article in a news magazine of the late 70s describing a wonderful world of sex, free of any fences, appearing to me like the paradise I would have wanted to live in.

Referring to Katy Perry, I kissed a man and I liked it. Referring to Sam Diamond in Murder by Death (1976): "I never did nothin' to a man that I wouldn't do to a woman." Let's say, over the years, I've had some paradise and I must admit there's a kick in knowing your sparrings partner's body so well.

Self-explaining, my fantasies are involving both sexes with some preference for the same sex. Perhaps due to my socialization I rarely felt homo-romantic or even could imagine any kind of homo-social relationship. It always felt more like to go in for sports together, perhaps not as rough as the naked combats at kink.com, but always characterised by some wild virility and competitive dominance.

With re-wiring I now feel happy about having achieved a status of sexual autonomy I never thought possible. All the more, as sexual advances and experiences like described lately by @shockedwaves are not daily fare when you're in your fifth decade.

Good vibes to all of you, find your man, find your woman and have fun together!
For live is too short to miss an opportunity. But take care! And ... never mind! 😎

P.S. @islandprostatemilker, if you like to intensify some fantasies I believe you may have, I'd like to suggest to involve some bananas as mentinoned in an other posting lately. 😀

I prefer the term hetroflexible myself.

Never really been interested in being in a committed relationship with a guy (maybe just haven't met the right one). But I have been attracted to them, and committed sexual acts with men. I tend to lean torwards women more though.

I received a private message re chatting and deleted it by accident. Please resend.

I identify with all aspects of @rumel 's observation regarding the multi-axial nature of sexual attraction and orientation. For decades I'd identified myself as a monogamous str8 and felt that I was solidly established in that social role.

During my third year of Aneros play my wife's mental and physical support for my "monosexual" and solitary anal play began to wane as did our mutual lines of development in both the oral and anal foreplay facets of our sexual lives. We never made it to elementary pegging.

At the same time I began to sense what I think were pheromone driven scent-cues from men who were also 'interesting' from a visual perspective (body conformation, grooming, attire etc.). These were usually in "safe" public or large group situations where I could suppress my feelings which most times included a mild chubby. I'd sometimes follow a guy in a market for several minutes to validate my first observation. I matured into what I use to call a "bi-envious" role in society. Now widowed, I'm clearly "bi-curious" and what had seemed impractical/irresponsible a year ago has now progressed to imaginable and "quite practical."

I started attending get-togethers of a local Real-Jock group and I view their Senior's wrestling club as a possible collection of like-minded gents my own age.

A Google to "Real Jock " might help and offer you a moderately safe place to display your interests.

I identify with all aspects of @rumel 's observation regarding the multi-axial nature of sexual attraction and orientation. For decades I'd identified myself as a monogamous str8 and felt that I was solidly established in that social role.

During my third year of Aneros play my wife's mental and physical support for my "monosexual" and solitary anal play began to wane as did our mutual lines of development in both the oral and anal foreplay facets of our sexual lives. We never made it to elementary pegging.

At the same time I began to sense what I think were pheromone driven scent-cues from men who were also 'interesting' from a visual perspective (body conformation, grooming, attire etc.). These were usually in "safe" public or large group situations where I could suppress my feelings which most times included a mild chubby. I'd sometimes follow a guy in a market for several minutes to validate my first observation. I matured into what I use to call a "bi-envious" role in society. Now widowed, I'm clearly "bi-curious" and what had seemed impractical/irresponsible a year ago has now progressed to imaginable and "quite practical."

I started attending get-togethers of a local Real-Jock group and I view their Senior's wrestling club as a possible collection of like-minded gents my own age.

A Google to "Real Jock " might help and offer you a moderately safe place to display your interests.

Great perspective. Honestly, I don't stand by any societal norms because they just seem like a set of rules that you have to live by, when you should be able to do want you want as long as it causes no suffering to another being. When I was younger I was interested in girls emotional, but I wanted genitals in my bum. Then I found my boyfriend and from there things have been great. Though I'm not sure if I want to birth my own child maybe later on in life when I get older.

Just wondering if there are other guys like myself who are married to a woman, monogamous, but who experience strong same sex erotic attraction while being otherwise oriented towards women? In other words, hetero-social, hetero-romantic, but homo-erotic or bi-erotic.

I'm almost exactly the same islandprostatemilker
I've always felt bisexual. When I was younger I lived in a relatively small town and so I never had the opportunity to explore those feelings. Also, that was pre-internet so there was always the problem of where to look for such possibilities.
As time went on I met my wife and have been happily married for over 25 years now. I know how lucky I am to have someone who loves me and I love her dearly as well. We have a wonderful sex life and everything is good. I would NEVER do anything to risk my life with her. However I have always had this attraction to men and I always will. I can just never act on it.
My aneros journey has helped in many ways, but in some ways it has made it worse. It's made me so aware of the wonderful level of pleasure that's possible but at the same time it's opened up my curiosity even more to things I can never explore.
Frustrating doesn't begin to describe how it feels. However, I focus on what I have in my life and how lucky I am.
It also helps to know that there are other guys out there in the same boat. Thanks for posting this!

Men know the equipment. I have a married friend with whom I've talked with about getting together for erotic massage and mutual masturbation...

I'm very uncomfortable around other men with sex, even porn. Most men seem too macho or sexist, and the gay types just don't interest me, although I'm not put off by them, I can accept their feelings and even get along. But male to male sex is just not for me. The female is just to exciting to me like a male is not. I'm not being critical of others here, just the way I feel. I don't even feel comfortable talking with another male about my aneros devices. I've talked to my wife about this, but in general we don't discuss it, she's not into the rear end thing and I feel like we share nearly everything just fine, but sometimes I get the feeling with her that she can't go there. So I leave it alone. I'm sure it's all very individual. I'm glad I'm able to share some of this stuff on this forum, I can't anywhere else.

My first experience was as a teen with a friend - we would alternate doing anal intercourse and masterbate each other. Did that for about a year before we both discovered the opposite sex! Continued to do anal with myself using toys but recently discovered Aneros and now own a Vice and Progasm Ice - a whole new level of pleasure! Am happily married but enjoy my alone time as well!

I consider myself straight but cant help but fantasize about having sex with a Transgendered Girl. Nothing gets me more turned on than thinking about riding a beautiful Tgirl!

There are most definitely some gorgeous Tgirls out there!

@darwin    He needs to think with the big head. I have never paid for sex and never will. Pleasure works both ways. He needs to find someone to full his dream with out paying for it. Maybe start with a web cam on adult friend finder.com it’s free.

I've found myself becoming increasingly bi-curious. Heterosexual, married 24 years. For me a hard cock has an undeniable appeal that I have never experienced. Buuut...if the circumstances were right I'd be down to play.

Posted by: @Anonymous

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@reddog152 im in the same boat

Ditto here! Unfortunately, only in my dreams...

I very much fit into this as well.  Happily married, love my wife.  But, we have been effectively sexless for many, many years.  In the past 18 years, we have never had sex more often than 4 times in a calendar year.  Most years once or twice.  A few years zero.  My solo fantasies are overwhelmingly same sex.  My same sex thoughts started about 34 years ago - several years before I met my wife.  Those thoughts grew and grew in the last 18 years, which is why I don't mind being sexless with my wife.

I have known I’m bisexual since I knew I was sexual but never really met a man I was truly attracted to. I’m into men for their bodies, whereas I’m attracted to a lot more about women. So there was never any need to outwardly identify as bisexual because my sexuality is my business. I have always been 100% open with my sexual and romantic partners though.

I had a couple of occasions when I was single and men hit on me, but frankly they were creepy and I didn’t trust them. I wish dating websites/apps were more like they are today back when I was single because I would have explored that side a bit more. Ultimately, because of my romantic leanings, I would have always settled with a woman but I can’t help the feeling of missing out a bit.

since using an aneros, I’ve realised I’m definitely a bottom and I have an unscratchable itch to suck cock. Because my wife knows I’m bisexual/pansexual and I have a much higher libido, she has said from time to time that she wishes she could bring herself to let me sleep with other people. She has also said that we could just be platonic partners and I could have other relationships but I think she’s being very optimistic to think I have the time and the game to be able to be more sexually active in that scenario. Also, I think that assumes I would be happy to never be intimate with her again - which is not the case.

Thanks for keeping this chat alive. I am straight and in a sexless marriage. I have been using Aneros for 2 years now. It has certainly changed my perspective. I was never interested in same sex.  But now for past many months , I am fantasizing about having sex with ladyboys. Some of these Tgirls are really sexy.  I am still trying to find a reliable site to connect with ladyboys. 

@analfan I agree. This is a beautiful site where we can discuss openly and professionally without judging anyone.

@analfan I agree. I watch Thai Ladyboys. Many are gorgeous. It is my To Do bucket list to enjoy this pleasure with a ladyboy. I hear you and I agree my sexual desires have really changed from straight to bisexual. I still love women but if I get a chance to be with a trusted clean man or preferably ladyboys then I will not mind it at all. Two years of Aneros use has increased my enjoyment and happiness to a whole different level. I am 60 years old and society labels me as straight as I am married to a woman. 🤗🤗

   I never denied my other side, but I also never tried to persue it. I regret that now.