Relaxing the PC muscle

I think there is a bit of a balancing act to be had with this. Yes, contractions feel good and can help bring about pleasure, but at some point they begin to be too much. There is a lot of body exploration that goes on with this and experiences vary from person to person. I believe everyone has their own secret code to unlocking their super o's. It's just a matter of figuring out what that code is. Sounds like you have got yours just about cracked.

@DarkEngine tried this last night, have to say I couldn't orgasm without holding any PC contraction - got very close, probably 1% off a major orgasm, but it just wouldn't 'break through' maybe because tension was building up massively in my legs and I eventually gave up.How long does it take you to get to orgasm using this technique, and did it take some practice or did it just work for you?

@DarkEngine tried this last night, have to say I couldn't orgasm without holding any PC contraction - got very close, probably 1% off a major orgasm, but it just wouldn't 'break through' maybe because tension was building up massively in my legs and I eventually gave up.How long does it take you to get to orgasm using this technique, and did it take some practice or did it just work for you?

It did take practice, yes. I may have wrote it like it's some seamless, easy idea — "relax the PC muscles and you'll get great orgasms"Arousal can build without them. (Likewise without nipples and penis)

In my case, it's erotic thoughts. I used them solely as a means to build pleasure, and remained limp. My mind, metaphorically speaking, was the masturbating hand. Just kept feeding myself with erotic ideas even during the short periods between orgasms — get more and more excited. It was helpful because orgasms happened right at the core. There wasn't any other contact or feeling that diverted potential sensations elsewhere.

I think this eventually broke down the armouring my abdomen had. That sounds bizarre, but basically the stomach area numbed more pleasure than I realised. In principle, it's similar to tensing the stomach before a punch, crash or any imminent injury. In sexual practice, my abdomen tenses during an orgasm and thus restrains pleasures mostly to the pelvic region, stopping full-body orgasms.

In fact, you probably notice tensing something during an orgasm? Like the PC muscle, in this instance? It may seem involuntary, but keep it relaxed. Do nothing. Before an orgasm, divert attention to something else like your breathing, ass or…shoulders, just anything. (I found talking/muttering can help too)
You may feel a surge of pleasure wash over your body, a good sign.

People are rewired differently, though, so naturally this isn't good advice — just my two cents.
It's also why I ask regarding the PC muscles, since it was a "Oh, durr, right" moment for in terms of the 'Do nothing' approach.

@DarkEngine thanks for the extra info. I wish I had more time to experiment with this. The abdominal tension thing certainly is what stops a full body orgasm developing, I wish I could get over that. Stopping my legs tensioning, which gets painful sometimes and that's a real orgasm stopper, is something I really wish I could get some control over.

It did take practice, yes. I may have wrote it like it's some seamless, easy idea — "relax the PC muscles and you'll get great orgasms"Arousal can build without them. (Likewise without nipples and penis)

In my case, it's erotic thoughts. I used them solely as a means to build pleasure, and remained limp. My mind, metaphorically speaking, was the masturbating hand. Just kept feeding myself with erotic ideas even during the short periods between orgasms — get more and more excited. It was helpful because orgasms happened right at the core. There wasn't any other contact or feeling that diverted potential sensations elsewhere.

I think this eventually broke down the armouring my abdomen had. That sounds bizarre, but basically the stomach area numbed more pleasure than I realised. In principle, it's similar to tensing the stomach before a punch, crash or any imminent injury. In sexual practice, my abdomen tenses during an orgasm and thus restrains pleasures mostly to the pelvic region, stopping full-body orgasms.

In fact, you probably notice tensing something during an orgasm? Like the PC muscle, in this instance? It may seem involuntary, but keep it relaxed. Do nothing. Before an orgasm, divert attention to something else like your breathing, ass or…shoulders, just anything. (I found talking/muttering can help too)
You may feel a surge of pleasure wash over your body, a good sign.

People are rewired differently, though, so naturally this isn't good advice — just my two cents.
It's also why I ask regarding the PC muscles, since it was a "Oh, durr, right" moment for in terms of the 'Do nothing' approach.

I almost fully agree with everything here. Great body awareness. A lot of sense. Good insight.

But, indeed, the advice isn't for everybody as this all makes much less sense until you learned to feel a few things. Many people just somehow are in constant armour mode... Which not only blocks things from happening but also prevents you from feeling you are tensed.

Okay. Can you clear this up for a newbie? Im about two months in. Had some nice warm fuzzys but thats about it. The muscle contracting is confusing to me. Ive read a ton about it butt this is the first time Ive asked. I thought you were suppose to contract your pc and anus in a back and forth motion. Ive had some sensation making my penis bouncing while grinding my hips in to the bed. I think that is more penial though. Ive had most pleasure from sitting and rocking back and fourth. Ive also tried sleeping or do nothing.

So what muscles do you flex? Do you move hips back and forth like your screwing a ghost?

Dont get me wrong ive had improvement but i feel like i have a million miles to go. I can get relaxed just fine. Ive tried videos and sounds and quiet. Problem is i get to relaxed and will start to drift. Ive even chugged mt dew. Haha

Any tips appreciated.

Twocan

I should point out. Ive tried pc muscle by itself. Tried anus by itself. And a combination.

I think the key is just to keep working on it.

Okay. Can you clear this up for a newbie? Im about two months in. Had some nice warm fuzzys but thats about it. The muscle contracting is confusing to me. Ive read a ton about it butt this is the first time Ive asked. I thought you were suppose to contract your pc and anus in a back and forth motion. Ive had some sensation making my penis bouncing while grinding my hips in to the bed. I think that is more penial though. Ive had most pleasure from sitting and rocking back and fourth. Ive also tried sleeping or do nothing.

So what muscles do you flex? Do you move hips back and forth like your screwing a ghost?

Dont get me wrong ive had improvement but i feel like i have a million miles to go. I can get relaxed just fine. Ive tried videos and sounds and quiet. Problem is i get to relaxed and will start to drift. Ive even chugged mt dew. Haha

Any tips appreciated.

Twocan

It may be because you're only two months in so far. You've likely heard the term 'rewiring' thrown around, and it applies here; your body hasn't adjusted to sense and utilise the sensations enough that build down there. Getting warm, fuzzy feelings is definitely a nice start in any case!

But you're right in that contracting the PC and ass muscles back and fourth can generate pleasure. It's a good way to recognise the muscle groups, and attune your mind to those kind of pleasures. Bouncing the penis does sound like it would of been primarily penial — but rocking back and fourth is typical of orgasms.


I should point out that some techniques and advice only make proper sense when you're rewired enough. Isolating various muscle groups may help in practice later on, but they won't be a magic button for discovering great, new pleasures. Great, new pleasures involve shifting emphasis away from the dick and inside your own body and mind — hence 'rewiring'.


While it may seem like progress has to stem from which muscles to contract, the mind is pretty important too, as I detailed above. It's the control centre for which muscles to utilise.

I can get relaxed just fine.

Well, this very declaration proves how little you can.

Just consider this (it might come as a shocker): NOBODY can fully relax... even less maintain any somehow relaxed state.

The more you relax, the more your senses will make you aware of this fact, to the point of almost scaring you. This is how tensed you are: you are so tensed you can't even feel any tension.

You should investigate this further. Take your supposedly relaxed state as a basis. You call it 0% tensed, I call it 60% tensed. Now try to go down to what I call 50% then 40% (and which you might call "way sub zero"). This will prove educative, fruitful and... surprising.

"Fully relaxed" is a dream. It is a very counter productive goal. You should not try to fully relax. You should only try to relax more and then always more. The truth is, because fully relaxed is impossible, a little more relaxed is always possible. Isn't it amazing?

Be happy and have fun.

See this related thread:
sexual-relaxation

Darwin

Or that:

https://community.aneros.com/forum/index.php?p=discussion/8153/relax-relax-relax#Item_1

Or, even much better, this one from AneRico:

https://community.aneros.com/forum/discussion/comment/65810#Comment_65810

Very interesting. I find contractions of any kind stop me feeling any kind of orgasm, or destroys any build up. Sometimes though just enough helps to build things but after a short will stop it dead in its tracks.

The muscle contracting is confusing to me. Ive read a ton about it butt this is the first time Ive asked. I thought you were suppose to contract your pc and anus in a back and forth motion.


Thats just it what you're supposed to do isn't necessarily what will work for you. One mans advice is another mans frustration when it doesn't work. I find the wiki a good starting point but i find that contractions really only distract or often destroy my sessions.

-Sorena

I discovered body tension when I was pretty young playing with myself. I would try to relax every single muscle in my body as much as possible leading up the PONR. This would make me last longer and have a much more intense and longer orgasm. I would always have to stop and relax a few times because body tension would just creep up without me realizing it. I usually would stop and relax right before the PONR until I could crest over with very little body tension. The result was an incredibly strong orgasm that didn't even compare to one with body tension.

Very interesting. I find contractions of any kind stop me feeling any kind of orgasm, or destroys any build up. Sometimes though just enough helps to build things but after a short will stop it dead in its tracks.

That's a great remark.

Very interesting. I find contractions of any kind stop me feeling any kind of orgasm, or destroys any build up. Sometimes though just enough helps to build things but after a short will stop it dead in its tracks.

That's a great remark.

Do you find this also?

-Sorena

@darkengine. That was what I was thinking. I just need to keep plugging away. (Pun intended hehe)

@darwin. I will give your sexual relaxation a try next time. What you said makes sense.

@canacan i will read those. I kinda browsed them but lots of reading to do. This first sounds a lot like me. I try all the different things i find on here. As far as relaxing. It is hard to relax with all the stresses in life. Maybe im not as relaxed as i think i am.

@orgazmo. I will be relaxed and focused but my mind drifts and i realize i have tensed up again.

@sorena. I have tried both. From what i found contractions help. Explain more in a sec.

My last experience. So i tried something different and had some better warm fuzzys. I decided no porn. It was extremely quiet in my house(unusual) so i layed there reading the forums for my warm up time. Once used to it i tried several methods. I had two new things happen. First i learned how to push like going to the bathroom and make it move back in. It was weird to do but pleasurable. Its hard to explain. Second i tried somethingg out of curiousity. I would tense every muscle in my body while fast breathing then relax a few seconds. I was actually surprised because i got some good warm fuzzys( idk what else to call them) became erect and found when i would relax it was like my anus didnt want to relax. I think i might be on to something. My wife came home before i was done. She finished me off and i came more then ever before. She even commented on it.

The one thing i did mentally was to concentrate on the feelings instead of a fantasy.

I have spent hours reading and tried all kinds of stuff. i know it sounds like im trying too hard but i dont think so. I have really enjoyed the journey and i always start with the mindset i wonder what j will feel this time.

Ok i feel like i unloaded on you guys but im sure im not the only one to go through this so might as well open up. I appreciate all the input.

Twocan

@twocan7 I'm also experimenting with all of this. I used to think I was rewired I couldn't be further away if I tried. I read through one of @Canacan's threads and the only way I can describe what I learnt was 'mind blowing' and it has totally changed how I think about all of this. I'm managing to monitor my tension as the pleasure builds and it is amazing how it starts to build without me really noticing until I think about it and consciously relax the part of my body that is becoming tense.

The other big thing I have found is that before I was convinced my pleasure dropped off when I relaxed. I have noticed that in fact it doesn't and if you look for it it's still there just the same, that was just a mental block! In fact I can do nothing and the pleasure stays there I can keep it going just by concentrating on it and doing nothing else; that is really quite a big thing to realise.

I'm also trying to become less orgasm orientated and really forcing myself to stop seeing that as the only good outcome. Part of the tension thing was me trying to force myself into an orgasm and that is totally counter productive. Once my brain flipped out of that way of thinking I actually started really enjoying the pleasure I was getting without being desperate for an orgasm. It feels like I have started again from the beginning, still no orgasm using this new approach, in fact I think I am panicking when I feel it approaching rather than tensing like I used to and that's another mental block I have to get over, but I'm sure once I get back to that point it's going to be better than it was before.

men are way too orgasm oriented, and not enough pleasure oriented.

long histories of fast jerking off is the problem.

in aneros (female) land, you have *got to* feel the pleasure. you can't push to orgasm the way you can with your hand on your cock.

darwin