orgasm without the pleasure?

You're not alone. The most powerful and articulate "auto-fuck" I've ever experienced was entirely muscular with no pleasure component at all. And I really don't know what to do with that information.

I feel like my rewiring has been happening on many separate levels simultaneously, and that it's not just one progress-bar. I've been to levels of pleasure that I'm happy to call a super-o, but my physical/muscular response is still very weak.

The only advice I can offer is to remind yourself to "return to your body", and realize that you no longer have to wait for the orgasm to arrive, because it's already happening. To feel what's happening in what ever way you were ignoring. It's hard to describe, but sometimes I can get so lost in the cosmos and pin-point focused on one sensation, that I'm not paying attention to the sensations in other parts of my body.

Though I think I may have the opposite problem... so maybe you're too body-focused, and not enough in the drift-away-into-pleasure headspace? I suppose, ideally the two are in complete sync, and that's how it unfolds for a lot of people. I don't know, I'm just spit-balling really.

Posted by: @clenchy

The only advice I can offer is to remind yourself to "return to your body", and realize that you no longer have to wait for the orgasm to arrive, because it's already happening. To feel what's happening in what ever way you were ignoring. It's hard to describe, but sometimes I can get so lost in the cosmos and pin-point focused on one sensation, that I'm not paying attention to the sensations in other parts of my body.

That's very solid advice ! I used to think that it would be impossible to have a Super-O without knowing it, then I had it happen to me and I felt pretty closed-minded afterward. How I think it works in my case is very close to what you described.

Basically, between all the different sensations that you are experiencing, there is something that feels really good so you focus on it, expecting it to build more and more until it becomes an orgasm. And you'll be SO close that you just can't let go, this is surely the way, you just know you're on the right path.

Meanwhile, something that could feel even better is building in the background, but you're not seeing it. While you keep focusing on the first sensation, the potentially more powerful one can stop building and even go away, and this cycle can repeat  with other sensations. Result : you missed several Orgasms. Now that all the other sensations are gone, maybe the one you're stuck on will finally build and you'll get what you want, or it just goes away and you missed all your orgasmic opportunities. In retrospect I think it's very easy to get stuck because of this.

A good comparison would be all those teen movies where the guy is chasing some girl that's only trouble, meanwhile his super hot, intelligent and funny neighbor who is clearly his soulmate is waiting for him to ask her to the school dance but he "doesn't see her that way". 

Hi!

I was so relieved to read your post. For the most time of my journey I had at least some pleasure from my sessions. In some occasions really intense ones. But it was never connected to much involuntary movement. I could cause some involuntaries based on the tug o' war method, but they did not lead to any pleasure for me.

So i was pretty freaked out, when 2 sessions ago, my whole body started to develop his own life, that reminded me very much on my body movements while having an orgasm: clenching of my pelvic floor and anal muscles, contractions in the abs that where that strong that I ended up sitting upright after laying on my back. hipthrusting, etc... It lasted for about 5 Minutes or so, but was not connected to a rise in pleasure. I mean don't get me wrong, it did not feel bad either.

I don't know if it was because, my mind could not handle what was happening, or if it was one of the "mental fuses" that went off (the Guys in the KSMO forum talk about it quite a lot as "emotional furballs") but I started laughing uncontrollably for some minutes, until I managed to calm myself down and fully relax again, just to be starting over some minutes later. Super strange...

Let's see where this takes me, I feel as curious as a small kid just discovering a cave with a flashlight. There is only so much you can discover at the same time, but you feel that it is going to be so much deeper than you already know.

cheers, NL

edit: typos