Newbie overactive prostate

Hi Everyone,Well its been some time since being here, my first experience was hindered by my spine surgery and the muscle contractions setting off the scar tissue, but now recovered I am venturing back down this interesting path.

My question to the board of experienced members is. My use is for moderate non bacterial prostatitis. If I do not have sex for a few days I find on arousal I get a full prostate feeling as if I am about to cum, if real bad I can actually leak pre cum, the other week I went for a massage while laying on the table I could feel this aching burning feeling, really had to stop myself from exploding, I got home went to the bathroom and immediately shot out lots of clear fluid, its like I have an overactive prostate. I have seen both GP and Urologists and they all say its non bacterial P 🙁 My urologist offered in clinic massage but declined but I did mention the Aneros he said go for it.

I find if used during play with my wife the feeling is way too intense, last night I had a near out of body experience. So I am curious to know if it is best just to relax with no sex play and if so how often? we have sex maybe 4 times a week so does not leave much room for self massage.

Would I get better results independently or during sex even maybe cut back on sex? although I do find using it during sex I have erectile issues as it takes away from other feelings. I know many find it makes them rock hard, for me it does the opposite.

thanks in advance.