New Year personal coaching

@zentai

I would be interested in some potential personal coaching. Let me know what I need to do...thanks!

@7sdoor

You don't have to do anything, I'll wait a day or two to give people a chance to manifest their interest, if you're the only one then you're in automatically! Else I'll chose the guy who I think is the closest to some kind of breakthrough and see if I can help it happen, if this works I think I'll by able to streamline the process and reuse some material and help more people. I have a lot of stuff already written that I think will work well for this. This could be pretty time intensive for me and I want to start slow and keep it fun.

The purpose of getting the questions to everyone is that by having the chance to think about it and pre-answering everything, if all goes well, I'll ask the next guy to be ready to send all his answers at the same time and that will save a lot of effort. I believe that I can formulate the questions in a way that will make people reflect on what they are doing and hopefully find that they can make some progress right away, because no one knows more about you than well, you.

That's it for now! 

This is something I could get behind.  In the time I've been on my Aneros journey (many years) I've experienced great highs, intense droughts, and ample flashes of excellence thrown in for good measure.  It's been quite the trip for sure, but I know there is more out there.

I'd be interested

@zentai Great idea!  I'M definitely interested in participating.  

I’ll have a bash at it.

Count me in! Sounds interesting 

Ok guys, I'll make it super simple on myself. @7sdoor is on for round 1, all the others are in the pool. Those who contacted me by PM already are also in the pool. My main issue is time and keeping everything separated and remembering who's who and where they are in their journey, else I'd work with more people at the same time but it's just not possible right now.   

You'll see that you'll get a lot of stuff to try and think about anyway, what I truly expect is that will be enough for most people to make some progress and they may decide that they don't really need any one-on-one stuff OR you'll just be further along when I get to you. Most of the questions are already written down, and I have some short "articles" also that everyone will get at the same time. 

I think I'll use this thread for everything to start with, maybe I'll switch to a blog later on but it should do fine for now. 

So what happens now? 

1) 7sdoor, please send me a PM with a few lines telling me about your expectations and where you'd like to be in 30 days. Short and simple, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. 

2) Tomorrow, I'll post a first batch of questions right here. 7sdoor answers me by PM, all the others keep their answers to themselves. Don't influence each others, that's pretty important IMHO. I'll give you an answer template that will allow me to scan the answers quickly. No, this is not going in a spreadsheet or database of any kind, it's just the way I like to work. The questions will be numbered like this 

        1)

        2)

        3)

And what I want for answers is simply:

       1) qwerty

       2) asdfg

       3) zxcvb

If the question is unclear or does not make sense, put ???

If you would prefer not to answer for whatever reason, that's perfectly fine, put X

Shortest answers possible that make sense. I'll ask for more info as I need them, so this will allow us to work quickly. Questions needing longer answers will have that in the question, so no guesswork needed.

3) As soon as I get 7sdoor's answers back, I'll review them, comment them by PM then post the next batch of questions here, and so on until I think I have a good and fair picture of his journey to date. Nobody but me gets to see his answers. I'll continue to work with him during the month. Afterwards, we'll do a wrap-up together and write a little something about the experience.

Then, hopefully we'll have a pool of guys with already fully filled questionnaires and I may decide to review them in batches, and work in a different way, still unsure about that. 

Time permitting I'll still be posting on the forum and answering general stuff when I think I can help, but this thread and working with 7sdoors will be my priority for January. Everyone who is interested in this, keep an eye on this thread for updates. 

Happy New Year everyone, thank you for showing interest in this project, and I hope we can all make progress together into 2021. Take care everyone! 

Hi, @Zentai, I find your idea a fascinating approach, I only can recommend to follow, as rethinking my experiences and discussing them has always been very helpful to me, as long as I didn‘t exaggerate analysis but preferred empirical cognition. Putting this in a schedule awakes my enthusiasm as a logician.

I‘m full of anticipation of your questions (which I will be eager to answer to myself) and the results you and @7sdoor will achieve. 

Good luck for your charitable efforts and for a Happy New Year!

May your kind of non-profit offer be a sign for a general pivotal change in 2021! 🙂

Thanks loads! Mart

@sowithoutaneros 

I'm pretty excited myself to see where this goes, first batch of questions should be up in the afternoon, basic stuff to start with but you'll see how it all fits together. 

Ok here's the first series, super basic stuff to start with, I need to pace myself so we're starting things slow. 

It shouldn’t take more than 10-15 minutes to answer, some people will do it even more quickly. This is not deep philosophical stuff (for now), this is about finding more about you in the quickest way possible. The only bad answers are the ones skirting around the truth. Feel very comfortable putting down some Xs if you prefer not to answer, or ??? if the question does not make sense. So : 

1st series: general info

1) How old are you?
2) How fit are you in general?
3) Do you have any health issues preventing you form using certain positions?
4) Do you use any medication that can affect your libido?
5) Speaking of which, how is your libido in general?
6) How is your coffee, tobacco and alcohol usage?
7) What’s your sexual orientation?
8) Do you have a romantic partner?
9) If yes, what does your partner think of your Aneros journey?
10) How much noise can you make during sessions without getting into trouble?
11) Do you have a space to yourself where you can walk around naked, take a bathroom break during a session, grab something to eat, or do you have to be more private?

That's it for today! Remember, keep your answers to yourself! 

Ok so things are moving along great in my opinion, I can really see this working well. 7sdoor was really generous with his answers and since I got them already, I'll post the second batch of questions later today. Like the first batch, this will not make you think very deeply about your journey but we'll get to that pretty soon.

If you have any question about a question(!) just ask here and I'll give some additional details. 

Edit: here they are. More basic stuff for the big picture.

12)How long have you been practicing with the Aneros?
13)What’s your session frequency?
14)Your best guess: how many sessions last year, approximately?
15)Longest time between sessions, did you ever stop for months, years?
16)What’s your favourite model, if any?
17)What’s your least favourite model, if any?
18)Thinking back to your last 10 sessions, how long was the longest one?
19)How short was the shortest one?
20)Putting aside the long and short sessions, what’s the average length of your sessions?

I think I'll skip a day or two here, expect some stuff on Tuesday that will make you scratch your head a little.

Edit: changed the #s on the questions so they're easier to navigate.

I agree that I am enjoying the process on my end as well. @zentai has been great to work with and we have had some really good exchanges already. I am excited for what’s to come and am trying to approach this with an extremely open mind.

@zentai I'd be interested in this please. I've been struggling with Aneros use for 6 years with no orgasm, and some of the feelings i've had may have been p-waves, but I am really not sure what they are or what to do to progress.

@zentai

If there are several batches of questions, and you are thinking of having us post them later on, I would make a suggestion that the questions start at n+1 where n was the last question number from the previous batch. That makes it easier for us to send you the full list without having to say "this one is from the first batch, and this lot is from the 2nd batch." 🙂

@lonewolf8

Yeah you're right, I didn't know in what order I wanted to post them at first, I might have to go back and edit it before we all get lost! Just hang on to your answers I'll fix that today. Thanks for the feedback.

Ok so it's Tuesday and I promised some head scratching stuff, but I have to switch things around. I have around 40 more questions and intended to post a set of 17 today, but some of the questions are "loaded" in some ways, that is, they're little traps meant to get people out of their comfort zone. What I didn't think about is that I can't just let you hang dry for months wondering "what the hell was #36 about?", and interest for this is such that I already have trouble keeping track of my PMs so I'd be shooting myself in the foot with this. 

So instead I'll post the first "loaded" question only and talk a little about it so you see what I mean, and I'll rewrite some of the other ones later this week.

So #21 was about your ratio of good to bad session. And at the end, like #36 or so, I ask if this kind of binary thinking is good for your journey. Pretty sneaky and not super fair, right? That's about perception. A bad session to me would be laying on the floor on a blanket, then getting a corner stuck into the baseboard heater and starting a fire, then running around naked in a panic with an Eupho up my butt. 

No one starts a session expecting it to suck, and if you do so, well stop this. I started calling duds "warm ups", "training for bigger things", "unintended napping events" and the like. Else it's like I had bad judgement in starting a session, and there's so many details involved that asking myself to know everything and every path is just dumb. If I was that great I'd be at Jet Propulsion Lab or something. (Psst if you work there drop me a line *shit eating grin emoticon*)

That's it for today, hope you can make something out of this, have a good day everyone! 

It looks like you have enough padawans, Sensei, but I am following this thread with interest.  It looks like the self-searching could make it interesting!

@zentai So if no session is bad, then won't you be expecting #21 to have a good-to-bad ratio of 100% for everyone? And does that make it a pointless question?

How about "good-to-neutral" ratio? Neutral being "nothing happened at all".

@lonewolf8 this could go in all kinds of ways. Labeling things differently is one, the best way is actually having more of the good sessions, but you can also have less off the neutral. It can be about the sessions you decide to *not* have because you don't think they will be productive. Hey productive is a good word too... if you tell me 50% off your sessions, nothing happens, have you tought about having 50% less sessions? Think you'll miss anything? 

Or let's label them enjoyable or... non-enjoyable? If you see your sessions as hour-long meditations that *can* generate sexual pleasure, are you ok saying that you did not find *any* enjoyment in just relaxing for an hour? If so, maybe you should have went for a walk, worked on a project... still that pesky expectations thing. 

#21 is not pointless because coming to it, you know what's a good session and what's a bad one and you're not playing semantics. You say, like 4 sessions out of 10 are pretty ok, 6 are pretty uneventful, so I'll answer that and it's an honest answer. 40% are good. Good doesn't mean you were orgasming the whole time, bad doesn't mean it was horrible and there was a fire. You're just taking all your sessions and dividing them in two piles because that's the task #21 gives you.

#36 is the loaded one. It's a little accusation, hey dude maybe you're thinking wrong? Will using the word "bad" break something? Is that whole thing actually that fragile? Should you place all sessions on a spectrum instead of "1 or 0"? Hey, why not a color code? Make 5 piles? How will that make your next session better? Will it save it from being a "bad" one?  Are we just wasting time here labeling stuff and pushing paper instead of focusing on the important things? Or is labeling important to monitor progress? What do you actually think? What do you think of movie reviews, %, ***, 5/10, thumb up? #36 is *really loaded*. 

Food for tought OR steaming BS? Steaming food for tought? 

@zentai

I don't see question #36, so can't comment on it.

As for #21, just because you (I really mean "me" 😀 ) like the idea of having something up your bum, and like the idea of eventually achieving a prostate or a super O one day, does not mean it's not worthwhile trying.

Is it pleasurable if you (I) have a dildo, butt plug, or Aneros in your (my) bum? Heck Yeah!

Is it pleasurable within the definition of getting p-waves, prostate orgasms, super Os  ((I'm going to call this the Aneros Experience for ease in my post))? No

So how would you classify that, how would one answer that?

Does your advice of "having 50% less sessions" have any real meaning then? Won't it rob a person of having that time with something up their bum?

If the goal is to have the Aneros Experience (which I venture would be why most of us are here on this site and forum), then the advice to go for a walk or have fewer sessions may be counter-productive. Yes, I'm well aware that sometimes it is effective to take a break, because sometimes we try too hard and lose perspective and get obsessive with chasing the Aneros Experience. However, if one was to take that suggestion to the extreme (and I'm not trying to), then a person may as well receive the advice to give up with the Aneros Experience altogether.

" If you see your sessions as hour-long meditations that *can* generate sexual pleasure, are you ok saying that you did not find *any* enjoyment in just relaxing for an hour?"

You can also experience this with an hour of edging, or an hour of wearing a butt-plug, or riding a dildo for that long too. It can generate great amounts of pleasure from penetration, or from the fullness, or a kink factor, but if it is still not activating the prostate it is therefore not the Aneros Experience, which is why we are here. We could easily be using butt plugs and feeling pleasure after we leave the Aneros Community.

The latter part of your post, with reference to the invisible #36, you raised a good point about the scale being used. I'm all for a scale, rather than binary. But it's still a way to classify whether the experience was pleasurable or neutral. Hence my reply earlier about the good-to-neutral => I think your question was designed such that everyone would probably put near 100% because of the way you setup the scale with "A bad session to me would be laying on the floor on a blanket, then getting a corner stuck into the baseboard heater and starting a fire, then running around naked in a panic with an Eupho up my butt. ", hence it appeared as if it was designed to make people feel good about the neutral (non-orgasmic) sessions they have so that they don't feel bad and give up, hence why I queried it.

@lonewolf8 all good points, I'll come back to them cause I'm pretty busy and this deserves a good answer so I want to address it seriously. Re-read the original post, maybe it was confusing the way I wrote it, because I gave you the answers already, but basically there's only 21 & 36 and nothing in between. Made sense when I wrote it but yeah it's not that clear...

21)Ratio of good to bad sessions ?

36) Do you think splitting between good and bad is the right way to approach this?

Bottom line is that while you should accept all neutral sessions as you trying your best, at some point you'll be asking yourself, is that all there is to this? Turning on the TV at a random time expecting something good to be on, watching a show you don't like that much then turning it off after an hour? That's one way of using a television, and also one way of using an Aneros, that sometimes will give you a good surprise, but is very hit or miss. Checking beforehand what's on TV and setting the stage for the best session possible increase your chance of the experience being positive by A LOT. Then when most of your session are on the positive side, labeling them is not that important. What's the worst episode of your favorite show? 

Hey let's start a thread about this if you want and run it in parallel, I'll see you there. That's a very important subject and we can go back and forth for a LONG time discussing this, I'd like people opinion on this and don't want the main thread (this one) to go off rails. Call it what you like, I'll find it! 

@faith-manages Haha I've got my hands full with one padawan! But you can see it as a concert where one guy has a backstage pass and gets to meet the band, there's still a lot to enjoy from the front stage. Well, that's what I hope at least. 

Posted by: @zentai

Hey productive is a good word too... if you tell me 50% off your sessions, nothing happens, have you tought about having 50% less sessions? Think you'll miss anything? 

Perhaps the best idea sometimes isn't only to let go but also to "let it happen". 😉

I rarely plan my sessions, more likely some inner voice tells me it's time to have one.

Good vibes!

Mart

Sorry guys, life got in the way, then I started posting everywhere again and lost track... So : 

21) What is your ratio of “good” to “bad” sessions?
22) What’s your greatest journey achievement to date? (2-3 sentences, we’ll come back to this one)
23) Do you think it was luck, or something you did?
24) Do you think you can recreate the same settings and chain of event and make it happen again?
25) What’s a Super-O to you? (2-3 sentences)
26) Why do you want to achieve this? (2-3 sentences)
27) Speaking of 21), what’s a good session to you?
28) Still speaking of 21), what’s a bad session to you?
29) List 3 positives things that you associate with your journey
30) List 3 negative things that you associate with your journey
31) How close do you think you are to a breakthrough?
32) First thing that comes to your mind about why closing that gap is difficult?
33) Are you familiar with the Pareto principle? (simplified, 20% of efforts gives 80% of results, 80% of efforts gives you the other 20% results) and do you think it can be applied to the Aneros journey? 
34) Do you think that getting things 80% right is enough to reach the Super-O?
35) “95% of this is purely mental” Do you think this is true?
36) Again speaking of 21) Do you think this kind of binary thinking is good for your progress, why or why no ?

We already talked about the *** questions so I won't add anything else, only that there is no "right" answer to number 36), but it's more about reflecting on the way you approach things, and how you judge both your efforts and your results.  

And since this took some time, bonus philosophy questions!

37) Do you believe in a higher power, God, gods, faith, magic ? (Yes or no only, we’ll get back to this.)
38) Do you think this can affect your results?
39) Do you believe in a defined path for your Aneros progress?
40) If yes, what do you think of taking shortcuts? If no, why not just cut the line and go straight to the Super-O?
41) Do you think an intense enough orgasm could hurt your body or mind?
42) Do you think your mind or soul is a separate thing from your body?
43) Do you think that the Aneros does anything at all by itself?
44) Do you think that involuntaries are a thing separate from you?
45) If not, do you think you can just flip that switch on, then take a seat back and let them happen?        If yes, is your heart pumping blood, your lungs breathing separate from you also?

Have fun! 

Cheerio guys, 

I still believe that posting everything on the same thread is working, so those who are interested can check when it's bumped, and the others can stay clear. So this is not so much about coaching, it's more about what I'd call working on the fundamentals. I think that until you're done working on these things, progress will be harder than it should be, so in my mind they're objective #1.

So that would be my first "private" question : do you think you're up to date on your fundamentals and do we need to discuss them? I want to get these out of the way right from the start, and concentrate on the "real" stuff.

So what are they? All the comfort elements, mainly. If you have any trouble at all with:

• Insertion
• Removal
• Perineum pain or irritation
• Back pain or tension from a position 
• Room too hot or too cold 
• Pulling out a dry and dirty Aneros
• Fear of making a mess 
• Fear of making a scene, getting caught 
• Fear of losing control
• General stress or anxiety before a session
• Adverse reaction to lube
• And we could go on and on and on

THEN

Don't work on finding the ultimate porn video, the best hypno track, the best weed strain or herbal supplement stack. Forget the best position, perfect session length, and isolating that one tiny secret muscle in you groin. Fix your fundamentals, so that when you start a session, you already feel good and confident that you did all in your power to set the stage for the best results possible. 

Most of these can be solved with some trial and error, some are harder to deal with, but nonetheless this is work that needs to be done so you can get the best bang from each session. Well, at least that's what I think. So, no ground shaking revelations today, that's Aneros 101 and I hope all you guys are already working on solving these small issues that are probably holding you back. Take care everyone! 

@Zentai, only thing I‘d like to stress upon, having had a lot of privacy and me time while „driving my bike without hands“ - as I believe - has been fundamental for my progress. That‘s why I only can recommend to get rid of privacy issues first. When it came to vocalizing my orgasmic feelings even this given privacy hasn‘t been enough, why I want to tell you one location that helped a lot. Driving a car on your own.

[P.S. Funnily enough my privacy and me time suddenly got disturbed before I could add that one should take care and only try it to a minimal extent, because it may become dangerous. Some lonely parking lot - as @Zentai meanwhile suggested ~ surely will be the better choice! If you close all your car windows to avoid lonesome wanderers to do emergency calls.]

[P.P.S. Straining your fantasy you can also try to envision you were screaming out your lust. It helps me already to open my mouth as if. With enough privacy for soft sounds I breath my sighs and give my breath a soft voice. Sometimes this can be as exciting as loud moans of pleasure.]

@sowithoutaneros

For sure, they're all important and being in a setting where you can really let go and "be yourself" is key. If it's not possible, like if you live in an apartment block with thin walls where you can't scream your pleasure, you'll have to find a way. A switch in thinking can do it, where you can have this fantasy where you try to get as much pleasure while being sneaky, and you're having so much pleasure and no one knows. Like how much can you take without making a peep... 

The car idea is great, but I think you should park somewhere before doing this, don't know what the insurance company thinks of orgasms on the road hehe. But I'm with you, privacy is important here and finding a way that works for you should be one of the priorities. 

Posted by: @zentai

So, no ground shaking revelations today, that's Aneros 101 and I hope all you guys are already working on solving these small issues that are probably holding you back.

@Zentai, I like your approach of asking those questions to draw the new Aneros user into the process of understanding his own mind 'set'. Asking these questions may reveal underlying cognitive dissonance issues which can plague a users progress. I think those questions could certainly have been appropriately added to my older thread -> Identifying Obstacles to Progress.

I agree with your assessment that dealing with comfort in one's 'setting' is a fundamental concept which may be frequently under addressed. If what you have identified is Aneros 101 then perhaps the thread -> Identifying Facilitators to Progress might be considered Aneros 201, the next group of topics to consider.

Good Vibes to You!