New user - thoughts & question

Sounds like you are actually doing really well.

You are getting all the right sensations and are well on the way to having a dry-O. I would keep doing exactly what you are, and the startle reflex will get less as you get used to the waves of pleasure so that you can keep the concentration, build the sensation that bit higher, and get a dry-O. Relaxation is good but at this stage I wouldn't worry about it too much, just try not to completely tense up.

@roygbiv

You are doing very good for a start. Much better than many. Your comments show good awareness and openness. This will help you.

Don't rush things. It's great that you are passionate and comited. But forcing results too early is not very realistic nor wanted. There is a powerlessness you must embrace. Things take time and will happen only when they can. Think of it like a buildup. Only, instead of seconds and minutes, it takes days and weeks. Build ups are irrepressible and slow. The dam must fill up before there is a release.

Cutting the Ptab was a bad idea... It wasn't blocking anything, actually it was doing its job as a pivot, your excessive tension was responsible for the blocking. Cutting it ruined the design and didn't solve your muscular issue. Well, at least that's a lesson learned.

Your writing betrays slightly overblown expectations. Though things can go extremely high, they rarely do. Mostly, we are dealing with subtle sensations one often calls nothing. The more you learn to be a gourmet, the clearer your path.

The "entire upper body tingling for a few seconds" you felt on day eight is what we refer as a miniO (certainly not a Pwave). It's often the first stage of dryO, i.e. a dryO without the involuntary pulsing. It's good to know it, cause the so-called superO you probably seek, is simply an intense version of that. We call superO an exceptionally good dryO (in intensity, duration, cascading or anything). Actually it can be many different things.

A Pwave is on a whole different scale, much lower than your miniO. You certainly had plenty of them already. The "very pleasant tingling in prostate area" you mention at night in your last paragraph is indeed an example of Pwave. Maybe the term confused you. "Pleasure Wave" doesn't mean "pleasure feeling like a wave" but "wave of pleasure" which simply is pleasure whose intensity rises and goes like a wave, just the intensity, nothing more. Intensity wave, might even be a better term as it is not even necessarily pleasurable, any sensation can be used like a Pwave, only you decide to ride it like pleasure or not. Why do we call it wave then? It comes slowly, peaks for some time then goes as slowly as it came an peaked. It is nothing intense... But it is passive. You don't produce or control the wave (or very little). Usually the technique is to focus on some area, try to arouse and relax at the same time, pay attention to what happens, encourage it a little, if you will, but let it happen, don't stop it or push it (both might kill it) and, most importantly, enjoy it... When a few waves happened already, they might start in patterns (even unwanted). A wave starts so small, you can't even consciously feel it, you have to trust your intuition and welcome it, it then will slowly grow. The natural reaction is to either block it or push it. Nobody likes things coming that slow. This is the wrong reaction. Witness it impassible and happy. It's your first gift.

Now, regarding this paragraph:
These new sensations can be very startling and that throws me off. Do I just need to get used to them and keep trying to relax and try not to tense up? It's just overwhelming. It's like when a roller coaster starts to go down a steep dive and your stomach tenses up in anticipation. There is no way I can relax through it. Does it just take more experience?
- "These new sensations can be very startling and that throws me off."
True. With good reason. And that is also a good thing.

- "Do I just need to get used to them and keep trying to relax and try not to tense up?"
That is three questions in one. And the answers are not a single one. Getting used to, is not the best thing. An element of surprise, novelty, discomfort and even fear is welcome. But you might need to tame it. If You get used to it you get blind, bored and "wrong". Don't try to relax. Because trying won't work. Try to learn to relax. Or, even better, forget about trying (trying is tensing), just learn to relax. What you want is to revert the usual reflex. It should feel more natural to relax than to tense in the face of this. Like, you try to carry some too heavy stuff and you just give up rather than break your back. Give up your defenses and surrender to the frightening experience (frightening to your body or heart or mind or any combination of the three). A less intense experience and less intense fright will be easier to relax to. It is good to begin small and slowly go up. Don't try and force yourself to relax. Learn the reversing of the tensing reflex into a relax-even-more reflex. Anyway, you can always relax more and there will always be extremely valuable lessons learned in doing so.

- "It's just overwhelming."
True. Which is why it can be so good.

- "It's like when a roller coaster starts to go down a steep dive and your stomach tenses up in anticipation."
Very accurate remark on more than one level (can't go in all of them now). Your stomach (down to pelvic floor) indeed tenses, does it in anticipation and more or less for the same reasons as in the rollercoaster. If rollercoasters didn't produce that effect they would be much less popular. Now, if instead of clenching to that anticipation you savoured the uncomfortabality of the experience, if instead of keeping your insides locked inside and down you let things flow freely, you'd get a whole new experience.

- "There is no way I can relax through it."
Which is why you have to.

- "Does it just take more experience?"
No. People pile experience for years unsuccessfully. It takes identifying your fears and reflexes (be they concious, voluntary or not at all and well below the radar) learn to accept them, surrender, relax and enjoy.

Whatever results you get, it'll be amazing lessons learned.

At some point I would like to try sleeping with the Helix in. Right now I'm just not brave enough to try it.
All in all, it is a useless and stupid thing to do. But hey, you cut a Ptab already, I guess you'll have to make your own experience. I did my share of weird and foolish things in my journey.

Cutting the Ptab was a bad idea...@roygbiv cut the handle. The error was cutting too much of it.

@Canacan, thank you. Your meticulous response above was mind blowing and very helpful to me. It clarified a lot for me. Thank you for taking the time as you obviously have.

@roygbiv

- "Do I just need to get used to them and keep trying to relax and try not to tense up?"
That is three questions in one. And the answers are not a single one. Getting used to, is not the best thing. An element of surprise, novelty, discomfort and even fear is welcome. But you might need to tame it. If You get used to it you get blind, bored and "wrong". Don't try to relax. Because trying won't work. Try to learn to relax. Or, even better, forget about trying (trying is tensing), just learn to relax. What you want is to revert the usual reflex. It should feel more natural to relax than to tense in the face of this. Like, you try to carry some too heavy stuff and you just give up rather than break your back. Give up your defenses and surrender to the frightening experience (frightening to your body or heart or mind or any combination of the three). A less intense experience and less intense fright will be easier to relax to. It is good to begin small and slowly go up. Don't try and force yourself to relax. Learn the reversing of the tensing reflex into a relax-even-more reflex. Anyway, you can always relax more and there will always be extremely valuable lessons learned in doing so.

- "There is no way I can relax through it."
Which is why you have to.
Thought provoking as ever.

Just a beginner's observation: I have found this relaxation thing to be impossible at this stage. It takes the concentration away from the pleasure and my experience is that just enjoying what you get, whether it makes you totally relax or totally tense, allows the orgasms to build. In a way I think that relaxing the mind into it is more important than the body. I have no complaints with what I am getting at the moment, no super-O for a while but some very intense enjoyable orgasms that take my breath away, sometimes whole body, but often I'm tensed up against it - 'sacrilege' most people would say but I'm enjoying it so why not? If I try to relax I lose the orgasm, that's just the way it is at the moment for me, I have a lot to learn probably. I think relaxation is an 'advanced' technique, to be explored in time; do it if you can, otherwise just enjoy what you are given and don't try to over control it.

I could be misunderstanding @Canacan's message of course.

@smudgefish
This is no advanced technique. It's not even a technique at all. Just a path. I mention it to him because it seems right.

The path you seem to follow usually leads to the plateau effect. Think of it if you get stuck. You might try the opposite direction. If you "lose the orgasm" when you try to relax maybe something was not there to begin with and you forced something that will disappear as soon as you stop.

@Canacan, no criticism of your post, I was just suggesting that sometimes relaxation IS difficult and maybe concentrating on it too much can distract from everything else, at least that is what I find.

I think I see what you are saying about plateauing, have just searched for it in the forum but can't find anything relevant. I'm certainly experimenting with relaxation but have given up for now because I was getting stuck with it and getting nowhere so returned to just enjoying what I was being given.

As ever I would always appreciate further explanation (sorry, you must get tired of my persistent requests for further explanation). When I have a dry-O they come on very quickly at will now, I am usually quite relaxed to start with, the stronger contractions cause me to tense up against the pleasure but that, currently, is the only way I can enjoy them fully and do often get tears of pleasure they are that good, although they are not super-Os: are you suggesting these are not true orgasms and I could experience something much better (short of a super-O)?

Thanks, and I don't mean to hijack the thread.