My Journal and Progress

Hi everyone,

I've been mostly a lurker on here for a while now. I've decided I want to start sharing my findings and progress. For personal records and also so that perhaps someone could benefit somehow.

I've been using Aneros massagers for around a year and a half now. I started out buying a cheap MGX knock off by some other company. It was like 15 bucks or something. After reading the forums here, accounts of people's experiences and using the tool a few times and getting not orgasmic, but interesting and good feelings, I was hooked.

I mean, the promise of a new type of orgasm that could feel even better than a regular orgasm, and last longer? How can any man resist right?

Over the course of the last year and a half I've acquired several new massagers, in this order:

MGX (copy)
Helix Syn
Progasm
Eupho
SGX

If I had to estimate, I'd say I've had around 75-100 sessions over a year and a half. Of all of those, I've had maybe half produce generally good feelings and enjoyable sensations that are "out of the ordinary". And out of those, I've had around 4 total that produced feelings approaching some type of orgasm. So, for me, personally, it's been an interesting but somewhat frustrating journey. But, I am not here to be negative, just to relay my experience. Overall, it's been interesting amazing and recently (more on this later) even more interesting and amazing. Positive!

To start with, I've had to get over my stupid blocks about being heterosexual and getting in to "butt stuff". Many of you can't imagine having any kind of issue I know, but perhaps others can relate. It's weird, I'm quite accepting and tolerant in life, but for whatever reason I've had these phobias about "what people would think" if they knew, "what does this do to change me as a person and as a straight male" etc etc. I've worked through that stuff and the answer is, I'm the same person as I always have been, any change that happens is for the better no matter what, and the feelings that can come from this simply can't be labeled and should be shared by all men of all types! Anyway, I've come to accept and relax, and that has been absolutely key in having good sessions.

I've read lots of the content here and on the wiki and have tried several techniques from the Do Nothing, to the Standard to the "confident Boomerang". Typically, I will either go the "horny and worked up" route, or the "super relaxed" route. Overall, I've had better results with the relaxed route. It's hard to wrap my head around, but I think I'm beginning to understand that for me at least, being "traditionally horny" does not necessarily translate in to the types of energy you want for a super O. Sessions where I start horny have an urge or immediacy that causes me to become impatient, which from everything I've read, is exactly what you don't want. I have had some interesting times, with the progasm in particular, and just a sort of pleasure that comes from manual stimulation in the rectum/anus, but they were not prostatic feelings. A typical session without any prostate centered "events" would usually last an hour or more and after not feeling anything, I would just go for a wet orgasm with the massager in, which does feel great. Unlike, many people, I get usually get no pre-cum at all. I try not to view any of these sessions as "failures". But come on, you have to admit, questions arise. Why have others felt things while I have not? Do I even have a prostate, I don't feel it! And maybe the worst, why have a spent upwards of $200 to lay around with plastic in my butt? Lol. And yet, I keep reading the forums, and becoming inspired, and I keep trying and trying to be positive, and I think it's paid off some.

Of the 4 total times I've had some sort of feeling approaching orgasm, each one has been a little longer or more intense culminating with last night, which is kind of why I'm writing all this. I do not know how to classify the feelings yet so I don't know what to call them. But all 4 have been the same general feeling. The first 2 were a sort of "falling" feeling combined with an immediate increase in heart rate. A definite signal from my body that something was happening. However, they were VERY short, to the point where I wasn't even sure they had happened.

Last night I had an event, (mini-O, p-wave.... ?) that was like "yep that happened and it was real, and it was part of an orgasm.

What happened is I had ordered the Maximus, but they (amazon) messed up and sent me the SGX. So, kind of the opposite of what I felt I needed. You see I've had very limited response from my prostate. Some sessions I get no feelings at all. Others I can feel the "tickle" or urge to urinate, but it's always gone so quickly. This gave me the (I know typical from what I've read) idea that my prostate is in a different spot than many men. Perhaps it was deeper in, I thought. Or maybe "less deep". I really felt that the rounded bumps of the toy just weren't hitting the spot.

So when I got he SGX instead of the maximus I almost sent it back, thinking I wanted the larger one. But I decided to keep it and I'm glad I did.

Last night I used the SGX for the first time. Interestingly, I was not super into having a session. I had just bought a new laptop and was more interested in playing around with it. But, I wanted to try the SGX also, so I did both. I was in a good state of mind. The type "contented" feeling where you have a little happy buzz about your life in general. I was not however horny. Maybe just a little. But I did not have sex on the brain at all. Ironically, I felt like a had some hidden potential energy associated with my prostate. Like I wanted the SGX in me. A hard feeling for me to pin down at this point. As in all sessions I try to relax, take deep meditative breaths and just let go and do nothing. I was doing that and then got distracted by my laptop. (Laying on my back, aneros in, laptop on stomach and legs bent with feet flat on bed.) After about half an hour, I was just using my laptop and had basically forgotten about the aneros when I felt an energy come up. Like the prostate "awakened" as others have said. Nothing huge, but a feeling like "hey pay attention here!".

I feel like the following steps are pretty key. I was already very relaxed, with slow easy breath. No contractions at all, just relaxation. I then did a very very small contraction and held it. It was not as small of a contraction as I could do, but not big either. Maybe 15% of max. There's this point, I've found, that can hit the right spot and "turn it on". So I did that and "set it". Then instead of trying to focus on my prostate or groin, I shifted my attention to my nipples and started playing with them. I was very relaxed, and not focused on anything. Not trying to achieve pleasure even. Just breathing and touching. That's it. All the while holding this "set" contraction. At that point a large wave of warm "sexual" energy started "welling up" from my prostate area. It came on fast and was strong. Very noticeable and not at all mistakable for anything else. To try and describe it, it felt like I was "falling" in to a "black hole of pleasure" centered around my prostate. It felt like this ball of intense pleasure was growing and "enveloping" my body as it grew. Enveloping it in to a realm of pleasure or perhaps "orgasm". This happened quickly, and after about 2 seconds, I kind of freaked out. It feels like passing out and part of my brain was like "stop we're in danger!" but I let that thought pass and was able to return to the pleasure wave! It intensified and I let out a few groans, meanwhile my dick rapidly started becoming hard. Then, all of a sudden it stopped. But, it was enough. I was glowing with satisfaction of having finally made some progress! As a side note, I almost never produce any pre-cum in my sessions, and this session was no different, aside from one tiny drop.

Overall, the orgasm lasted only about 5-10 seconds. Hard to say. That said it was amazing feeling and I can't even imagine how intense and incredible being able to hold or even intensify that feeling for half an hour or more would be! It seems almost like more than I could bare, and maybe that's holding me back?

I also feel like maybe the SGX is the right model for me, considering my 1st time success. Weird because I'm 6 foot tall. I had thought I'd needed a bigger/longer one, but go figure. I'm looking forward to trying it out some more! And above all, I know I won't have success every time, and to relax and enjoy myself is the absolute main goal.

So, that's my story up to now. I might come back and fill in some more info later. And I'll be making posts in the future on this thread also.

My question to the community is, after reading my description, how would you describe the "event"? do you think it was a P-Wave, Mini-O beginning of a Super-O, or ...?

Thanks for reading and thanks for all of you who have shared your experiences and knowledge!

Please feel free to ask me anything or make comments and suggestions.