My Aneros sessions and how it effects my wife – Page 2 – General Discussion

Brian21030 · 2014-09-18T16:29:10Z

It is all so fresh and new, I'd like to do my reflections with you so that I can gain a better understanding as well as share some of the wealth... I invite your comments and reflections. I have wondered, "How is my wife effected by my Aneros use?" "Isn't this selfish?" "What will she think about all this!?" "How could she benefit from this?" These are some observations that attempt to begin to address these wonderings. First off, I've been blessed to have started my journey with Aneros with my wife's knowledge and awareness. True I was sheepishly quiet about all that went on here and how I was relating to it, for fear that she might be against it all, but after she read the forums, read my chats etc we talked and she released me saying she trusted in my integrity to keep my actions and intentions above board. We practice a monogamous marriage and I have been drawn away by porn and isolation in the past. Observation 1. Be honest and upfront with your partner about what you are doing, don't do anything you wouldn't want them to know about. Respect their wishes and desires and keep whatever boundaries have been set between the two of you in the process. Then ENJOY In the beginning when I would have sessions, I would tell her that I had them. After a while, she was encouraging me by saying, "Did you exercise today?" Meaning, did you have a session today in the same tone as one might ask, "Did you go to the gym today?" Observation 2. By being transparent, she could see and connect my sessions with new and positive responses by having an objective outsider view of me. When we would have sex, and or expresses affection, (hold hands, touch in loving ways) she could see me responding differently even though I could not see it yet. She was ENJOYING the process too. Although limited to oral sex and mutual masturbation (b/c of medical issues) anal play began to enter the picture because I was using my helix more and more and it was very obvious to her that that part of my body was now exquisitely sensitive and she obliged by touching and gently penetrating me which lead to explosive time together. Observation 3. After 30+ years of marriage, I had never been touched on or in my anus before and didn't really care. When it became obvious that I did care, I needed to say something by way of request. You may need some thick skin to be able to ask for something which might not sit well with your partner. If they say no, ok they didn't want to go there (this is true with anal, my wife is not a fan herself but is more than willing to go there with me) and you need to be ok with that. On the other hand, you win by giving them information such as touch me here, let me lube this up, go deeper, harder etc... Being able to ask for what you need and want is important in this journey. Then you BOTH ENJOY After my cargasm yesterday which you can read about in my last post (which I don't know how to hyperlink to yet) I was worried that this aneros thing was selfish and too self-centered to be of value to my wife. The suggestions I got were to tell her about what happened, kiss her long and hard, hold her longer, and love her more. Well let me tell you what... I did all of that and last night, sealed the deal for me. I lost count of the dry O's I had with her. I was much more sensitive to what she was feeling and what she wanted. With my attention NOT on my penis (which btw, only got hard for a little bit and was really not apart of the equation last night). I was more vocal than I have ever been in my life and it turned her ON. Observation 4. The Aneros experience isn't just about you, although I like to have my sessions alone and privately, the blending is there. I have become more giving and aware of her and her needs. so last night the blend was that my attentions and actions were about her, not me, my dick or anything else about me. The blend continued when I responded to her touch and benefitted by having dry O's galore. Sometimes we need to die to self in order to come alive. There is this basic understanding in Aneros practice that says, "Don't expect anything... suspend expectations... stop and smell the roses - enjoy the moment and the result will take care of itself. After years of ED and feeling "less than" more often than not, I was surprised (and thrilled) to notice in reflection that NONE of those feelings were present last night. My penis was NOT a part of the process... (this is probably due to another basic tenant of Aneros practice which says "Don't touch your penis in a session.") So all my apprehension and performance anxiety was a non issue. It was about her, my new found joy of dry O's came in response to HER touch, listening to HER body, Her wants and Her needs... Observation 5. It all doesn't make sense, but it is a LOT of fun. This is where I need some more practiced and better seasoned understanding, but I'll try to describe what happened. My nipples seemed to be a direct line to an O. If she touched me softl...

slimjm

(@slimjm)

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10/08/2014 1:18 pm

That's generous and considerate of you Brian to share how much this can benefit a marriage as it has yours. Encouraging to read what you've shared.

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Brian21030

(@brian21030)

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Topic starter 10/08/2014 5:21 pm

My pleasure :-c @slimjm

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Brian21030

(@brian21030)

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Joined: 8 years ago

Posts: 45

Topic starter 10/09/2014 8:35 am

@canacan - now that you are back in the rack so to speak, I'd be interested in hearing how anerosing has effected your time when you are with others. Might be valuable for you to keep a running commentary... i.e. do you think that the still vaginal O you described her having in the Evi thread, was due in some respects to your involvement with Anerosing? Just wanted to capitalize on the excitement of your return :-c

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MostInteresting1

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10/09/2014 4:58 pm

Wow @Brian21030, thank you so much for the feedback. It's posts like that which make this all worth while. It is amazing, the more you learn about yourself and how that translates into everything you do for others. Congratulations on your continued journey!

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