Learning, but why can't I stay erect?

I have been using the Aneros off and on for about 5 months, at first I was very disappointed, as others have experienced, getting almost nothing happening. Like, am I deformed, is everything inside me still there?! Before the Aneros, my traditional activity was either thrusting into pillows wearing a lubed condom being a favorite way to pleasure myself, or wearing a bullet vibrator in a jelly ring with on the glans at the lowest setting. This would slowly bring me over the edge and cum very nicely. I was quite happy with these methods, and still use them.

I ordered an MGX and Helix to try out of sheer curiosity. I also got an enema syringe, as well as 5cc and 10cc syringes for inserting lube once cleansed. My biggest gripe was the discomfort of the enema prep and efflux, makes you a bit queasy, then you gotta clean up before lubing yourself. Yuck, wotta mess!

After my first few sessions, not getting any response, I was rather upset and unhappy about the whole thing, and put it all aside for a couple of months. Later on, I regained interest, and decided to try again. I prepped as before, but omitted the enema part, making sure to empty my bowels just prior to my session. This seemed to work fine, no excess matter got in the way.

I gradually became more accustomed to accepting the presence of the Aneros inside me, I think one of the major discomfort factors I had been experiencing was expelling ALL of the enema water, resulting in diarrhea-like cramps, bad karma and an overall quenching of the experience that ruined the session, preventing me from being erotic and enjoying myself and I got nowhere.

After several more sessions as I learned to let go and relax, I began have the involuntary "waves" of orgasmic pulses starting to come, and I wanted to stimulate myself manually to bring me towards release faster, but I found that whenever I was wearing the Aneros, I would lose my erection, and despite all attempts at penile stimulation, looking at stimulating images or favorite sounds, I could not hold an erection with the Aneros. I want to be erect so badly while I'm having such a tremendous buildup. It just seemed so out of place to not be having a huge hard-on during the pressure of building waves, you felt like it was time to ejaculate, but you're not ready.

Each time, I have a big drool of precum upon insertion, and more flows as the waves begin to build within me. The last few times have gotten better in terms of evoking more responsiveness and dry orgasms, but I still cannot become erect while using the Aneros. I want so very much to have the waves build until I just blow my load, my body WANTS to have an ejaculation, but not being erect seems inhibiting. I try to avoid stimulating myself and just let the Aneros have it's way, but I'm having trouble getting there yet. I'm so horny to have this, it's like having a meal in front of you, you're starving but you can't reach it, you can taste it but you're not satisfied until you have it for real.

The last thing that I'm dealing with, is the P tab causes irritation on my perineum, maybe I can cover it or pad it with something soft or silky, kinda digs in when it gets going. Also, having the curly-tail sticking out prevents pleasuring while sitting or lying on your back. How far down should I trim it off, then polish it smooth I guess?

Sorry for the lengthy post, many pleasures, many questions, I have a lot to learn!