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06/26/2020 6:44 pm
I’m just getting into this and have some toys that just arrived but I have a question. You have so much expertise in the area of male sexual function so here goes.
I guess I’ ll briefly introduce myself first. In my early 60s...I started masturbating to porn books around 10 years old. I kind of wired my brain to this Victorian era porn with lots of people being spanked and whipped etc. Those were my masturbatory fantasies and I graduated to porn and would spend 3 or 4 hours a night edging to porn in my office, while my wife slept.
Our sex life wasn’t great because she had very low sex drive, and I had a very high drive and it was always a slog, but we did have sex once or twice a week throughout our marriage.
Then everything changed...
For about 8 years I’ve practiced sex largely without orgasm with my wife. I come maybe once every 2 weeks (inside her.) I focus on relaxing my perineum and don’t get blue balls and all is incredibly good with the world.
What led me to this Tantric sex (although I don’t call it that) is that I was dissatisfied with porn and masturbation and my wife has a low sex drive and I realized that we could have sex all the time provided it isn’t loaded with expectations.
I have grown very sensitive most of the time and have kind of whole body orgasmic feelings for the 20 or 30 minutes we have intercourse. It’s amazing.
I hate the refractory period and the depressed feelings and the recovery time from “normal” sex. Now when I do cum, it is very explosive and the recovery period if in days — including being interested in other women more than my wife, and losing penile sensitivity, and feeling depressed.
But it is not frequent now because I don’t cum that frequently. It all has been working out great...
So why am I here?
I’m getting into prostate massage and this whole world because I am around 60 and highly sexual and although we have sex 4 times a week, it isn’t enough for me and I want to explore this realm.
So now my question.
One thing I found is that if I was aroused without ejaculation/orgasm (the same thing for me so far in a way), basically edging, at some point I would lose my erections. And then if I masturbated even my flaccid penis to ejaculate, it resets everything for a good few weeks.
Now I’ve read on this forum a LOT in the past week. And I’ve read about many men doing MMOs and the technique is to edge to 9.5/10 and back off, maybe release a little cum and then do that again. At some point there is a kind of dripping or pouring out of cum, and then the man can have a long period of orgasms.
It’s also the same with some men and Aneros massage — they release some cum but not in a big ejaculation, and that release of cum without ejaculation (which a man can learn) gets him on the road to having multiple orgasm sensations without the depressed feeling afterwards...
Do you think this is correct? If I learn that technique I could if I wanted to masturbate or come in my wife without ejaculating and just have a whole different experience without the problems associated with the explosive ejaculation?
06/27/2020 7:42 am
@simplepenguin , the release fluid you describe while edging is more prostatic fluid than ejaculation sperm as it is more liquid and not as cloudy (for me anyways) and it does not evoke any refractory effects.
Topic starter
06/27/2020 8:35 am
@simplepenguin , the release fluid you describe while edging is more prostatic fluid than ejaculation sperm as it is more liquid and not as cloudy (for me anyways) and it does not evoke any refractory effects.
Thank you. My observation is that continual edging causes loss of an erection for me after maybe a week, until a “real” ejaculation has taken place. I’d like to find out what I can do about that 🙂
06/27/2020 7:14 pm
Hi and welcome
there are many threads explaining many things on this forum. I don’t know what threads you were reading but the main theme of this forum is non-ejaculatory and non-penile orgasms. While you will find threads talking about ejaculatory orgasms, or penile orgasms, or orgasms during sex with a partner, as a beginner I recommend that other than reading these threads, it is best to focus on goal-free, solo, toy-in sessions that don’t involve your penis. It is important to get acquainted with your prostate, nipples and other forgotten parts of your body. And To learn how to amplify sensations in your mind. Penile stimulation and ejaculation are counter-productive to the pleasure most search for on this forum, at least in the early stages.
I recommend reading rumels introduction mail and accompanying links. Read the wiki male gspot page.
If you give yourself no specific goals other than that of discovering unknown mysteries of your body and mind with pleasure as your mantra, other side benefits such as non ejaculatory penile orgasms might come later down the road. But maybe not for months, years or not ever. But it won’t matter because you will discover many other spectacular pleasures on your journey.
Topic starter
06/27/2020 8:55 pm
Hi and welcome
there are many threads explaining many things on this forum. I don’t know what threads you were reading but the main theme of this forum is non-ejaculatory and non-penile orgasms. While you will find threads talking about ejaculatory orgasms, or penile orgasms, or orgasms during sex with a partner, as a beginner I recommend that other than reading these threads, it is best to focus on goal-free, solo, toy-in sessions that don’t involve your penis. It is important to get acquainted with your prostate, nipples and other forgotten parts of your body. And To learn how to amplify sensations in your mind. Penile stimulation and ejaculation are counter-productive to the pleasure most search for on this forum, at least in the early stages.
I recommend reading rumels introduction mail and accompanying links. Read the wiki male gspot page.
If you give yourself no specific goals other than that of discovering unknown mysteries of your body and mind with pleasure as your mantra, other side benefits such as non ejaculatory penile orgasms might come later down the road. But maybe not for months, years or not ever. But it won’t matter because you will discover many other spectacular pleasures on your journey.
Great advice. Thank you. I will. Just experience is my goal and seeing what unfolds if anything.
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