Identifying Obstacles to Progress

To Newbies, Grinders and Skeptics,

An often heard refrain on this forum is "I feel nothing..." or similar statements lamenting a lack of success with an Aneros massager. Upon some reflection, it occurs to me there are many more reasons for lack of success than there are for actual success. For those who have crossed over into the Super-O zone, congratulations for navigating your way around, under, over or through the myriad of obstacles in your path. For those of you who haven't yet crossed over, but don't quite know why, here is a list of some of the obstacles identified by your fellow travelers in this personal journey. This list is by no means exhaustive or in any particular order, nor does it imply everyone will encounter these obstacles, it is meant to help you identify possible detours along your path. Once you have identified your particular blockage(s), you are in a much better position to take positive action to surmount the issues facing you. Many of these issues are interrelated and can have multiple solutions, discussions about them are punctuated throughout these Forum threads, You are encouraged to read the Aneros WIKI and utilize the search function to read about how some of your fellow members have dealt with these issues.

1.) Relaxation - A relaxed mind/body state facilitates your allowance of the Super-O experience. @darwin 's post relax, relax, RELAX is a nice introduction and he touches upon some of the following issues as well.

2.) Expectations - Expecting to experience an instant Super-O is a common misconception. Expectations of any particular type are likely to lead to frustration and anxiety, thwarting your rewiring progress.

3.) Fears - A common latent fear is related to homophobia, there is a nicely written post by 'Trojan' which addresses this topic. A common fear is the ego's sense of loss of body control, this is sometimes referred to as "Terror at the Gates", when this occurs one's ego applies the brakes to the unfolding orgasm and shuts the whole process down. Some other common fears revolve around hygiene issues, guilt feelings for indulging in this activity, fear of discovery by another person, fear of being negatively judged for one's behavior, fear of doing harm to one's body, etc. Overcoming one's fears is a necessary step to successful orgasmic pleasures. For a deeper discussion of some of these fears please see the thread -> Overcoming Obstacles to Progress (Fears).

4.) Mind Noise - Over-analyzing and distractive thoughts, (as identified by @darwin), can impede progress. Our own body sensations can be distracting as well, sudden, unexpected twitches or spasms can break our reverie or instigate a series of internal dialogues leading away from our orgasmic buildup. The common internal dialogue we carry on often interferes with our perception of the sensate information that our body is constantly sending to our brains. Relaxing the mind is as important as relaxing the body in order to fully appreciate the subtle sensations being transmitted by our bodies. Our minds can also become too focused on the mechanics of applying a preconceived set of techniques. In addition there are numerous paradoxes involved in the rewiring process, e.g. the concept of being relaxed yet attentive. There may also be times when things present themselves in a manner that is counter-intuitive. For instance, the idea that applying more stimulation can produce less sensation in return. It is necessary to accept such paradoxes at face value, to in effect marginalize ones critical mind in favor of a more open, vulnerable and intimate state of being. For some this will be the most significant obstacle that they face.

5.) Impatience - In an age of on-demand availability of goods and services we have become a culture accustomed to instant gratification of our desires. Unfortunately our bodies have not evolved to respond in an equally accelerated manner. Aneros use requires time, time enough to learn about your own body's inner workings and language and time enough in each Anerosession to fully enjoy the sensual experience possible. This time period is not fixed by the clock on the wall but by one's own internal clock. You can not coerce you body to learn faster or respond more rapidly by increased stimulation, trying to do so is generally futile. Being patient with the process, however slow it may be for each individual, is essential. Aneros use is not a race or competition to win or goal to be achieved, it is a journey from one state of being through to another state of being and it is always evolving. This also applies to time management, knowing you only have a set amount of time available for your session may make you more anxious and impatient for results, you need to allot sufficient time for an Anerosession to unfold in a natural, relaxed, unhurried manner.

6.) Arousal - An important key to experiencing enjoyable Anerosessions is being both mentally and physically aroused. This does not mean you need to be sporting a rock hard erection or an erection at all actually. It means you bring to your session an erotic desire full of lusty energy, this is the ideal state of being for Aneros usage. The Aneros is less an arousal generator than an effective arousal amplifier for focusing your sensual energy toward orgasm. So don't expect your Aneros to get you excited, while this may occur, more commonly it functions by optimizing one's existing level of arousal. Paradoxically, hyperactivity or being too excited can also interfere with one's session.

7.) Attitude & Beliefs - A positive attitude of hopeful adventure and lighthearted playfulness will go a long way toward ameliorating the inevitable 'dud' sessions, reducing anxiety, frustration and accompanying depression. Progress and learning are sometimes slow and not always obvious or linear, having faith in yourself and persistence in experimenting will return rewards over time. Allowing your mind to become fixated on aspects of unmet expectations will only impede your progress. Personal belief systems can also impose impediments to progress. Religious dogmas, cultural conventions and social taboos all have an influence on one's ability to openly and freely accept the concept of male anal/prostate pleasuring, These underlying belief systems may have a profound effect on one's ability to achieve pleasure at any level of sensual play.

8.) Health Issues - Optimally, being in robust physical and mental health is ideal but most of us suffer from various minor to major health related issues. Some health related issues can negatively impact your ability to respond to Aneros stimulation. Recreational drug use such as alcohol or the opiate based nervous system depressants can dull your responses and block progress. One's own body chemistry may be out of balance or nutritionally deficient. Certain past body traumas may have temporarily or permanently damaged any of the various networks of nerves necessary for transmitting/receiving nerve impulses to and from the brain. Almost any type of disease or physical injury can have an impact on your ability to have enjoyable sessions. If your body is not able to function at a nominal level any of the factors mentioned here may become exaggerated in their influence over your reactive behavior. If you are being treated for psychological disorders of any type and part of your therapy includes psychoactive medications (particularly anti-depressant medications) you may find yourself unable to experience the same level of pleasure, the same level of arousal or the same level of libido as you might otherwise due to these medications side effects.

For further discussion of this category please see the thread -> Obstacles to progress: Mental/physical health

9.) Erroneous Knowledge - Not knowing or understanding your body and how it works can waste time, energy and even possibly cause bodily harm. It is important to have a basic understanding of your reproductive anatomy, the what, where and how your organs function in the pelvic area. Your internal organs and their relationships are much more delicate and subject to trauma than skin, muscles and bones. Getting the facts about your own body in lieu of 'locker room myths' may save you from self inflicted pain or damage.

10.) Pain - Pain or discomfort are session killers. Your Aneros use should never involve pain. Please do not try to stoically endure pain for the sake of your ego, it just won't work. You can not expect to push through some pain barrier into a blissful orgasmic state. If you are experiencing any pain you need to cease Aneros use immediately and resolve the cause of the pain source. There are some physical conditions under which Aneros use could trigger pain such as hemorrhoidal flare ups, prostatitis, G.I. tract or urinary track infections. Get these checked out by a doctor before resuming Aneros use. That being said, there is a difference between pain and the initial discomfort one may experience from the new sensations associated with anal/prostate play, avoiding discomfort is usually just a matter of getting accommodated, using plenty of lubrication and learning to relax the anal sphincter and rectal muscles.

11.) Obsessive Thinking - Obsessive thinking may take many forms. Being fixated on attaining the goal of a Super-O may establish an obstacle in and of itself. 'Chasing the Orgasm' is obsessively thinking that 'trying harder', 'contracting longer or harder', 'add this or that stimulation', etc. will push one into the Super-O zone, but it doesn't. Like 'Mind Noise', obsessive thinking diverts the focus of your attention away from the feelings and sensations that are the basis of your enjoyment and ultimately the Super-O. Thinking that a Super-O is some type of massively intense multi-fold ejaculatory orgasm is simply incorrect, it's a misconception of what a Super-O really is. It is obsessive to believe in this misconception for it distorts your ability to enjoy all the intermediate sensual awakenings one may experience along the journey and may even obscure the actual Super-O event itself when it occurs. This journey requires a paradigm shift in thinking away from one's penis as a focus of pleasure.

12.) Non-Acceptance - Accepting who you are and your own level of experience is essential. The journey toward a Super-O is unique for each of us. We can share our stories, share our tips and techniques, share our wants, dreams, hopes and desires but ultimately the journey is a solitary one through the landscape of your own mind. Avoid charting your progress and the quality of your journey by comparing yourself with other users. Just remember, there will always be users who catch on faster and slower than you do. Trying to make your experience match that of one you have read about or seen a video of is futile and in the long run frustrating and counterproductive. Although there is a great deal of information to be learned by reading of others experiences, one must appreciate their own path in it's own right. It is important in this journey to make note of all the minute details you experience, never discount even the smallest of sensations for these are the marvelous seedlings which will later grow into a magnificent jungle of abundantly rich feelings.

Good Vibes to You !