I Found My EDGE!

Awesome way to describe the experience...and congratulations!

Hi @mdad,

I found your writing style about your Aneros experiences to be highly inspirational. You appear to be an Aneros natural!

Thom./BigGlansDC

You describe what I have been experiencing and trying to describe and understand for a while, mdad. Thanks. I can get to the extreme orgasm feelings but I have to work at it with touch and non-touch techniques but haven't had the self-sustaining orgasms yet. What are you doing or not doing when you are approaching the EDGE?

"You describe what I have been experiencing and trying to describe and understand for a while, mdad. "


I figured that others would be experiencing the same thing I did, feeling like they were "almost there", and trying to get things to go over. That was the main reason I posted. What I found was that instead of trying to get things to be more intense, which didn't work, I should have been focusing on letting things "happen" on their own. Each time I tried to concentrate harder and get to a more intense level, the pleasure would back off; this is because there was NO edge, NO higher level, and therefore I was wasting my energy trying to get there. Understanding that I was there, but needing to let it start on its own, was a big hurdle and "aha" moment for me. Switching focus from trying to intensify things to trying to relax into it made a big difference.

> What are you doing or not doing when you are approaching the EDGE?

We're all different, but for me, when I'm "at the edge", I think what I need to do is relax more and pay attention to how the pleasure stays at the peak when I'm relaxing. At some point, I realize that I'm 100% relaxed and the pleasure is still at the peak. At this point, I go into super relaxation mode and just enjoy that moment. Eventually, after staying at this peak long enough, my body starts to take over and things actually get MORE intense afterwards. Sometimes I feel like I have flying, buzzing insects running up and down my genitals (the "worm" sensation described before). At this point, things just take off on their own.

@mdad, for a newbie you sure know what you are talking about! Congratulations! You have put into words some very important information that anyone using an aneros needs to know. It does take a while but eventually we all will realize the "aha" moment. I used to get so frustrated when I was learning, people just kept saying relax, well I thought I was relaxed lol, nope, you can relax even more, and then some more. And then the fun begins. Thanks again for your great explanation, I hope many others read it as its golden information.

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Alright, so I realize that this edge may be a stopping point for a lot of guys, and I should probably describe in more depth how I get passed it.

First, when I get to orgasmic level intensity, and feel the urge to get it "over the top", then I know I'm at the edge.

Second, I have to recognize that I'm at the top.

Third, I relax a little (not all the way), and focus on the pleasure that exists as I relax. I breath out slowly, trying to keep the pleasure there while relaxing. Slow adbominal breathing often times allows me to keep the tension high. Sometimes I "blow" on the pleasure, like blowing out a candle. Sometimes I blow slowly and then forcefully at the end of the breath in a modified key sound motion to get the abdomen rolling downwards.

Fourth, when the pleasure dips down a little, I concentrate again and work to bring it back up to the peak. Then I go back to step 3.

I alternate between 3 and 4 as long as needed. Each time I do so, I am able to relax a little bit more and have the pleasurable sensations stay at the peak. I try to go a little bit more each time.

Fifth, and finally, when I've finally reached the phase where I am completely relaxed and the pleasure is still at the peak, I try to breath out slowly and calm the mind as much as possible. Occassionally I have to go back to step 3 again.

At this point, I am often times at the point where it will take off on it's own. I hope that helps!

Brilliant description mdad.
I often get that edge feeling you describe, now I know what to do with it.
Thank you very much.

Boy this thread needs to be pinned to the top of the forum...

@mdad, this is another great description that matches my own experiences very closely. The moment where it changes from you working at it to it just happening to you is the key moment for me too.

Also, I find the it happens differently depending on whether I'm using an Aneros or not. In the former case, the intensity of feelings happen somewhere in the rectal canal (not necessarily the prostate, I don't think), while with the latter, it starts, and sometimes ends, behind the testicles, but the most intense "going over the edge" experiences happen up and down the shaft of the penis.

Relax, relax, relax....I've recently been where you're describing and can understand with your words how close I was to having things go autopilot for me.
One of the most interesting moments for me was having a "ball of energy" moving around my rectum and prostate.
It was frigging phenomenal!!!!
Thanks for sharing!!!

> One of the most interesting moments for me was having a "ball of energy" moving around my rectum and prostate.

I completely love this phenomena. Sometimes the ball of energy moves into my penis, and things really get going when that happens!

Thanks for this post,
At the moment I feel I am in the same position, I feel I am at "the edge" or at the top, right on the edge of full dry orgasm but can't quite get over the top.
So I guess what you are saying if I am right is don't try and force yourself over the edge, instead when you feel you are there relax and come down a little, then let the fellings build up again and you will get 'over the edge' without trying to force it?

> One of the most interesting moments for me was having a "ball of energy" moving around my rectum and prostate.

I completely love this phenomena. Sometimes the ball of energy moves into my penis, and things really get going when that happens!

Hi @mdad,

This has been happening to me in almost my sessions in the last several weeks. Oh yeah, that "ball of energy" churning in my prostate, penis, and scrotum. So sweet! Makes me glad that I am a man. And that lingering energy like electricity in my "man area" for hours afterward!

Thom./BigGlansDC

let me know when you go over the edge like I have:) orgasm contractions and physical waves in the anal muscles or the muscles in your belly.. looks like I get the same as my gf does when having a g-spot orgasm 🙂

> So I guess what you are saying if I am right is don't try and force yourself over the edge, instead when you feel you are there relax and come down a little, then let the fellings build up again and you will get 'over the edge' without trying to force it?

It's weird, but I try to relax and "notice" how the pleasure is at the top while I am relaxed. Trying to "notice" the pleasure is one of the key things for me. Instead of trying to use the pleasure or make it go higher, I just try to pay attention to the fact that it is THERE. Each time I relax, I pay attention to how great my penis feels without trying to do anything more to it. Sometimes the pleasure hangs there for a while, and that means it's CLOSE to starting on its own. If it drops off a bit, I try to bring it to that point again, and then relax and pay attention to it without doing anything.


And again, the "over the edge" doesn't mean an increase in intensity (although it probably will increase once it starts on its own), but more the dividing line between you having to keep pushing it to the top and it staying there. You'll probably notice that it stays there a little on its own when you relax; that's a good sign and it means you pretty much there. When you can have it stay there on its own completely for a long time without working it, your body will start to take over.


I find that once my body takes over, the pleasure slowly increases past the point where I couldn't increase it any further. But make no mistake, if I tried to push it past that point, it would never stay. My body had to do it for me.

Hi there.

Very interesting read. This is exactly the point where I am now, and just by reading this I think I am starting to figure out what I am doing wrong and why I can't go past "the edge". I have a question though... relaxing more and more also means stop contracting? In some places I read it's good to contract at its maximum to unchain the orgasm, but that doesn't seem like surrender or letting go to me, and more like trying to make it happen (and we're not supposed to be trying I understand).

Thank you for sharing that valuable information. I'm gonna try and put it into practice tonight 🙂

> Very interesting read. This is exactly the point where I am now


WOW. I'm amazed at how many people were exactly right at this spot. I'm glad I posted my experience, as it seems like it might help some of us get over the hurdle. I hope to read more experiences from others that figured out how to get passed this point.


> So I guess what you are saying if I am right is don't try and force yourself over the edge, instead when you feel you are there relax and come down a little, then let the fellings build up again and you will get 'over the edge' without trying to force it?

Remember, what works for me might not work for you. I find light contractions sometimes helpful, but for the most part, I end up squeezing too much and I kill the involuntary. I will allow myself to twitch the muscles now and then, and occasionally hold a light contractions (as is recommended), but I find I sense the involuntaries better if I do nothing at all and just augment them with my mind only.


Also, when my sessions are going well, I get very few involuntaries at all. I know that's contrary to what others say, but usually my involuntaries start at the beginning and simmer down as things progress. I experience a slower overall tightening rather than small spasms. So rather than focus on involuntary spasms, I focus more on the pleasure I'm sensing itself, and the overall tightness.


> I have a question though... relaxing more and more also means stop contracting?


I relax and just try to notice the pleasure staying at the peak. If it stays there AT ALL, you're getting close. I try to get to the point where the pleasure stays at the edge with me doing nothing at all. Sometimes I have to keep it there longer, but eventually, my body takes over. And as stated above, usually I'm using mental focus to keep it there rather than voluntarily contracting my muscles. Occasionally I'll twitch the muscles a little, but for the most part, my focus is on paying attention to how to keep the pleasure wave at the maximum while doing the least amount of work. Also, breathing plays a big part here; I focus on breathing fire onto the pleasure (e.g. blowing slowly like I'm blowing out a candle, or doing abdominal breathing, or rolling my abdominal muscles).


Even if you never get over the edge, when you get to the point where you can relax and enjoy the pleasure without working at it much, it's still more pleasurable than straining to keep things there. It's nice to just sit back and enjoy that point. When your body takes over, things WILL get more intense, but until this time, the pleasure at the edge is extremely nice.


One thing I always try to keep in the back of my mind is how I feel before a traditional orgasm. The point where things are pleasurable, then REALLY pleasurable, and then you are passed the point of no return, and it's over, QUICKLY. My wife, on the other hand, often times hangs right there on the edge for a LONG time. She used to be frustrated by it, while I, on the other hand, was envious that she got to stay at that spot for a long time. I always enjoyed the pleasure at the edge just before orgasm, but it was always too short to enjoy before the actual orgasm started. So part of my mindset trying to relax into the pleasure is to enjoy the fact that I get to experience a little of what my wife experiences, hanging at a high level of pleasure for a long period of time. So often we are focused on getting to the "good part" that we forget to enjoy the journey, and hanging at the edge for 30 minutes is a wonderful feeling. Try not to look at it as frustrating, but try to look at it as an enjoyable time that you wouldn't mind staying at forever, and a new experience that you didn't get to have before.

"So part of my mindset trying to relax into the pleasure is to enjoy the fact that I get to experience a little of what my wife experiences, hanging at a high level of pleasure for a long period of time. So often we are focused on getting to the "good part" that we forget to enjoy the journey, and hanging at the edge for 30 minutes is a wonderful feeling. Try not to look at it as frustrating, but try to look at it as an enjoyable time that you wouldn't mind staying at forever, and a new experience that you didn't get to have before."

Very well put @Mdad!!!

Great! I think I'm mentally ready to approach the experience as you suggest.

Thank you so much for your tips @mdad!!

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That sounds very similar to my approach of just relaxing and enjoying being near peak intensity without forcing it or expecting more. Just paying attention to the feeling without expectation seems to work very well for me.

I tried this approach last night and I think I am in the right track! I didn't get intense feelings (I was subconciously expecting them, I can train that I think) and I understood I can be in this happy place you @Anerico are suggesting for a long time, and it is also fun... eventually it was too late and I had to sleep, but I think this is definitely the way.

Thank you again for offering a new perspective! It's great!

Mdad,

This subject got me to thinking. So today I tried something that ended up having outstanding results.

I was contemplating this whole "edge" thing. To me there IS NO 'edge' you just experience waves of…bliss, erotic pleasure, whatever you're getting. There are periods of 'dry orgasm' for me…intense pleasure, but mild testicle or muscle 'pumping' action.

Anyway…

I decided today that I would "sit back behind the edge"…in other words….I just wanted the loving bliss feeling with NO intense feelings and NO orgasmic feelings. I just wanted to feel happy and loving.

I got what I wanted and a hell of a lot more. Now, first, this wasnt a "hidden agenda" thing where I was trying to "trick" myself into saying I didn't want something to happen so that, in fact, it WOULD happen.

My session was specifically oriented towards just having happy loving mild bliss.

It was awesome. I didn't try in any way to even rise up to the "edge". But after about 30 minutes I started getting my socks blown off. For a long time I "dialed back" the intensity so that I could just feel happy/loving.

Then I let 'er go. Damn. Got some intense sustained eroticism and some very heavy (subtly different to me this time) Dry-O type action. gads.

Bottom Line: I'm sorta off topic from you on this….but I wanted to tell you that I went looking for a "place" back behind "the edge" a bit…like maybe 80% behind it?? and I sure found a lovely place to take refuge. And that place led me to something spectacular.

Maybe you'd want to try that sometime??? just a thought.

That is a great testament to all guys that "less active involvement can often lead to more" and better results!

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I love the idea of the backside of the edge. I tried it yesterday and it was amazing. I think it stopped me trying to push forward, and holding back just lets things happen at their own pace. Interestingly the super O I had felt different. More of a hot glow, even at points a red hot sensation, Amazing!

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